Which one of you guy's

My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like **** me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery ****. One night she pushed me to far.

She was drunk of course and felling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking ****, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.

After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea

I went to my sons room and got his bad of marbles. i then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you **** marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one inl. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.

The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made allot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.

She dam near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still ****ting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the ****" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her **** and left.

I really do kind of miss her though.




I realize one of you comedians is going to ask what was i searching for when i found this.........it was an e-mail.

I would bet that your son misses his Bag of Marbles even more than you miss her.

Funny stuff :lmao

Lmao...[emoji106]

Instigator said:

I would bet that your son misses his Bag of Marbles even more than you miss her.

Click to expand...

We think alike

lmao primo stuff:thumbup:

I read the first couple sentences and was thinking "Huh"?

I met your wife and she didn't seem anything like that! :yikes

Dude that's fucking classic

ChiliPepperGarage said:

I read the first couple sentences and was thinking "Huh"?

I met your wife and she didn't seem anything like that! :yikes

Click to expand...

LOL

ChiliPepperGarage said:

I read the first couple sentences and was thinking "Huh"?

I met your wife and she didn't seem anything like that! :yikes

Click to expand...

Fucking Al, you cracked us up...how the hell are you Buddy?..........i'm dying while typing.

pronstar said:

Dude that's fucking classic

Click to expand...

Thanks, you put up some quality material.

don't ever drunk post again, while you are out at sea for a long time ! You have something that many others only wish they could have, so don't blow up and wreck a good life (and hurt your wife, son/kids too) You are an honest man, hard worker and with all that going well you only NEED a good woman who is able to keep everything together for your family when you are not at home (out at sea) . I would seek out the point of 'where the problems start' for your wife, and then try to find the questions that would lead to answers for those problems, along with that would give you a clue as to how your family feels about their living conditions today . I read the 'dick size part' and I really feel that she ways trying to hurt you, and I too have been 'called out for a measure', by a chick I didn't even care for . My girl was leaving me for an LA FM radio DJ, they were banging, and one night while she and I were together, she asked if "I felt that she had gotten looser", well I said, "no you feel great to me, because I love you", and she stated that 'she had a new bigger boyfriend' and that she was leaving me . I did not argue, I just asked to meet this guy face to face . It never happened . I'm no 'top fueler' but I stand 7 7/8" X 2 /16" which is 6 7/8" around, and worth 24 to 30 minutes of good exercise for both of us . This may be a good attribute , may not . I am who I am, and so are you ! Ken, you are a strong man and a focused man and I feel that her complaints are based on 'family/social' matters and not how you plow the field, but more importantly how you 'feed the fields' . I'm sure it's very hard for her when you are gone to sea for so much of the year, but if your return is not full of joy, family, food, drinking, and sex, you may need to make a change . Come out here to Havasu and Parker and relax, bring your entire family, bring your entire interest for fun, bring your gas credit card !

I can't put a price on that kind of comedy, ROFLMAO!

It's all fun and games until the chick brings you a cocktail and you realize there is marbles mixed in with the ice. :yikes:yikes

AzGeo said:

don't ever drunk post again, while you are out at sea for a long time ! You have something that many others only wish they could have, so don't blow up and wreck a good life (and hurt your wife, son/kids too) You are an honest man, hard worker and with all that going well you only NEED a good woman who is able to keep everything together for your family when you are not at home (out at sea) . I would seek out the point of 'where the problems start' for your wife, and then try to find the questions that would lead to answers for those problems, along with that would give you a clue as to how your family feels about their living conditions today . I read the 'dick size part' and I really feel that she ways trying to hurt you, and I too have been 'called out for a measure', by a chick I didn't even care for . My girl was leaving me for an LA FM radio DJ, they were banging, and one night while she and I were together, she asked if "I felt that she had gotten looser", well I said, "no you feel great to me, because I love you", and she stated that 'she had a new bigger boyfriend' and that she was leaving me . I did not argue, I just asked to meet this guy face to face . It never happened . I'm no 'top fueler' but I stand 7 7/8" X 2 /16" which is 6 7/8" around, and worth 24 to 30 minutes of good exercise for both of us . This may be a good attribute , may not . I am who I am, and so are you ! Ken, you are a strong man and a focused man and I feel that her complaints are based on 'family/social' matters and not how you plow the field, but more importantly how you 'feed the fields' . I'm sure it's very hard for her when you are gone to sea for so much of the year, but if your return is not full of joy, family, food, drinking, and sex, you may need to make a change . Come out here to Havasu and Parker and relax, bring your entire family, bring your entire interest for fun, bring your gas credit card !

Click to expand...

George,
THANK YOU for looking out for me, that was a copy/paste from a friend of mine.........i don't know what to say. Trust me when i say i have done far greater damage over the years.....I have a good life and i'm not stupid, she puts up with a bunch.

My Wife has the task of keeping it together 6-8 months a year all the while hoping she is thinking like i do, we do pretty good.

I plan to be in your neck of the woods this summer with a new bullet in the flat, hope to be sharing a cold one and gathering knowledge.

your lifestyle is one of the most difficult things to keep together, (didn't teach that in high school !) when your personal heart follows drag boats . All I can offer is for you to make your woman and your children a big part of what you do at the lake and the races, otherwise you would be leaving them out of what you need to be happy . (no excuses) My life with drag boats was 'all about business' and never about ego or circus promo, and I took a hit being the guy who was always back in the shop working for all the racers, and without recognition for many decades . For your family, I would create a 'cheer club' of neighbors and friends of all ages .(print up T shirts for the members and their kids) Since you are on a lake and they all know you from the noise you make, why not get a local club/organization to create a party/regatta to promote high performance boats on your lake ? Positive Politics VS being the troublemaker, on the lake . You (and your wife) may be able to organize a large group that will promote boats like yours, and maybe more organized performance boating activities . Good luck George

HOOTER SLED- said:

It's all fun and games until the chick brings you a cocktail and you realize there is marbles mixed in with the ice. :yikes:yikes

Click to expand...

Forget the marbles. I know a girl that likes putting ice cubes in her butt. She says she gets a rushingh sensation. Ya... Buttfreeze!

HOOTER SLED- said:

It's all fun and games until the chick brings you a cocktail and you realize there is marbles mixed in with the ice. :yikes:yikes

Click to expand...

NiceGuyEddie said:

Forget the marbles. I know a girl that likes putting ice cubes in her butt. She says she gets a rushingh sensation. Ya... Buttfreeze!

Click to expand...

So I've got his idea I want to submit to the Tipsy Bartender...lol

NiceGuyEddie said:

Forget the marbles. I know a girl that likes putting ice cubes in her butt. She says she gets a rushingh sensation. Ya... Buttfreeze!

Click to expand...

I knew a chick that liked ice cubes in her while she had sex.

milkmoney said:

I knew a chick that liked ice cubes in her while she had sex.

Click to expand...

I think she was just compensating for the lack of something else. Lol.

I know a guy that had marbles implanted in his D***K... [emoji15]

Outdrive1 said:

I think she was just compensating for the lack of something else. Lol.

Click to expand...

I don't know I guess you could ask her. When she told me I jus said. Oh ok.