Laughlin
If you have never been to Laughlin, Nevada you might want to check it out sometime. It is Las Vegas downsized. The little city is seldom crowded and the fact that the eight or so casinos have the Colorado River running directly behind them gives the little strip a unique sparkling ambiance. At the north end sits the city?s initial casino, The Riverside. At the top of the hill at the south end of Casino Drive is Harrah?s. Several other casinos are packed in between these two imposing bookends.
Many consider Harrah?s to be the little city?s classiest casino and The Riverside, well, the least classy. Now don?t get this wrong. The Riverside is my favorite. I think it?s kinda nice actually. My wife detests The Riverside because, in her words, ?There are just too many white trash types staying there.? She, haughty bitch that she is, prefers Harrah?s. The fact that she is Hispanic and I am white trash might have something to do with her opinion, but that?s another matter.
One August not all that many years ago, my wife and I were staying at Harrah?s. (Hey, don?t laugh; I was just trying to keep the peace.) Leaving her sleeping soundly after a night of her losing her ass playing the machines I got up long before the desert sun blazed orange and new behind the Arizona hills and drove down the hill to The Riverside. I went there to pick up my brother and his wife. I had our new red and white Hallett 210 in tow. The three of us liked to ski on the flat water in Lake Mohave just as the sun was coming up. A little dawn skiing is good for the soul and cool morning water wipes out hangovers pretty quick too.
I was a little early so I went into The Riverside to get a cup of coffee. After I got the coffee I was going out the south doors, those automatic doors next to where the buses disgorge and load passengers. Just outside I noticed several security guards surrounding an alcoholic, bum-looking guy. He was wobbling and obviously drunk as hell. He was filthy, dusty like he?d been sleeping in the dirt. The security guys though were being very nice to him. Holding him by his arms so he wouldn?t fall and helping him over to a bench and assisting him so he could sit. A girl, a casino employee, came out of the automatic door and carefully set a Styrofoam container and a cup of coffee carefully down beside the drunk. One of the guards set the container on the guy?s lap and opened it. It was a hot breakfast, eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast. While the guy wolfed down the breakfast the three guards stood there watching over him and steadying him so he didn?t topple over. I was standing right there watching the whole thing.
I walked over the short way to my truck. Just then a taxi came rolling up and stopped in front of the drunk and the security guards. One of the guards went up to the driver and said something to him. The other guards, after closing his breakfast container, gently assisted the drunk to his feet. They got him up and took him over to the taxi and deposited him into the back seat. One of the guards then handed the breakfast container to the guy and another handed him his coffee. I was impressed by these security guards. I mean they treated this drunken old loser as if he were some high-roller whale or even old Don Laughlin himself.
One of the guards slipped the taxi driver some money. Then, with the disheveled drunk in the back seat with his breakfast on his lap and his coffee in his shaking hand, a guard carefully closed the cab?s back door and the taxi silently disappeared into the predawn darkness. The guards were all laughing and two of them even high-fived each another.
My curiosity was killing me! I got out of my truck and walked over by the security guards.
?I?m sorry to be so nosy you guys,? I said, ?but I have to compliment you all the way you took care of that drunk. I mean you guys not only sent him home in a cab but made sure he got a hot breakfast and coffee to boot! You guys have to be the classiest security guys ever.?
That said they all just looked over at me and laughed.
?We didn?t send him home dude,? one of them said, ?We sent him to Harrah?s.?
Written by Dan Delehant
