Pelon
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2007
- Messages
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Boating, wife hasn't been to the lake with me in years!
When I fart I just tell my wife it's for her health, if she can't smell the fart then she has the Covid. I fart because I love her.She thinks I’m a cheap ass and that I fart too much. I don’t see the problem with either one.
Why can't she put the toilet seat up?Forgetting to put the toilet seat down. I always blame someone else (it’s just the two us living here )
That bugs my wife too, but I tell her, don't forget we're winter averaging.
Just not a hill I want to die on.Why can't she put the toilet seat up?
If you ain't tickling the rose bud yore doing it wrong....Eat her a$$!!
Why take it out if you can just push it down?Take out the f’ing trash!!!!! What is up with you men
These people dropped acid when this movie was madeShe’s making me watch The Wizard of Oz Fuck me I need a Fatty Bridget the midget comes to mind? Was she in it ?
No commentHer sister...
Me and wife are always going “HUH” to each other.My selective hearing drives her nuts
What is this laid you speak of?I'm gonna guess you posting this thread on Thanksgiving ain't gonna get you laid tonight!
This is me too, can’t stand my MILWhen her Mom comes over I leave the room, its just easier
Me and wifey love playing the “ who can gross the other one out with a rancid fart” game.When I fart I just tell my wife it's for her health, if she can't smell the fart then she has the Covid. I fart because I love her.
Thing that sucks though...wifey always wins!Me and wifey love playing the “ who can gross the other one out with a rancid fart” game.
YupMe and wifey love playing the “ who can gross the other one out with a rancid fart” game.
She’s making me watch The Wizard of Oz Fuck me I need a Fatty Bridget the midget comes to mind? Was she in it ?
These people dropped acid when this movie was made
What ya say..My selective hearing drives her nuts
Boating, wife hasn't been to the lake with me in years!
I hate it when I find it, eat it, by myself of course, and then the next day she’s says” where’s the candy? Did you eat that whole thing?!”My wife bought a container of delicious peppermint bark candy. I bugged her to give me a few pieces. So she finally opened it up and gave me a few. Then she hid the box. She was drinking when she stashed it. Now we can't find it. LOL.
As most of us are men, we suffer from distraction. You know the drill, you're fixing something and you realize in order to finish this task, you have to fix something else, and so on, so that your original task is left incomplete for now. We'll get that first thing done, but after we do a couple other things. This is normal and it bugs all wives.
And of course you need all those tools out, so there's no point in putting them away right now, since you'll just have to get them out again later. My wife hates the pile of tools in the entry hall. I admit that I do this.
The other thing. Butter. I take a stick of butter and rub it on my toast. Like a roll-on deoderant. Or I will butter a cooking pan the same way. I just rub the stick on there. Of course it leaves the stick all melty and bent and sometimes with crumbs on it. She uses the tub o butter instead.
What's your butter stick?
Dude, so true......I once replied to her question "did you hear what i said" with i didn't know it was important.My selective hearing drives her nuts
Thread should be titled:
Can you name even one thing you do your wife likes?
Sig line material : well, I’ll a man therefore I’m wrongWe have been married 40 years, been together 44.
Are you kidding? Everything is my Butter stick.
Lets see...
Well. I am a man. Therefore, I am wrong.
This is how she would like to summarize it. Sadly, I am rarely wrong about anything I decide to take a stand on, which REALLY pisses her off.'
Prime example this afternoon. Or local son has moved into new digs, only been there twice, we were invited for T-Day.
She drives her car, I am passenger.
We get close and she fires up her google machine to get directions. Does not trust me and my Man Brain (upper division) to get her there.
"Honey, we should have turned right back there".
"No...my google machine says we go down here and go across the freeway"
I consider this. I know it is wrong, it is actually bass-awkwards and will take us in precisely the wrong direction. I consider my options.
"Ok babe"
15 minutes go by, nothing looks familiar.
She pulls over, examines google machine, makes her pronouncement.
"This is not the right way."
"Yes, I know"
"Well why didn't you say something, dammit?"
"ahh...I did.
"Well &^$0do!@#$"
She turns around, examines google machine again, does another 180, heads off in the right direction....and passes the correct turn, again.
"Honey, we should have turned right back there."
"No, the google machine says we keep going this way"
"The google machine just got done taking us 3 miles in the wrong direction, now it is taking us in the wrong direction again."
Silence.
10 minutes later we pass the sign says we are leaving the city he lives in, entering county area.
Abruptly pulls over again, exasperated sounds, starts with re-loading google machine, makes new pronouncement.
"OK....I know where we are going."
I....I can/t help myself sometimes. Call it what you like, a death wish....whatever.
I say it.
"Yes, so do I. We are going to our sons house for Thanksgiving Dinner. In fact, if you will listen to me and turn left up there at that street we have now passed 3 times, we will be there in less than 10 minutes:"
She makes the turn, and shazzam, we arrive 5 minutes later.
Son is in driveway.
"Geez guys where ya been?"
"Your FATHER would not help me with directions, he got us all screwed up back down there, I don't know what he was thinking."
See...I are the Man. Therefore, I are wrong...and here is the kicker. I ARE WRONG, EVEN WHEN I ARE RIGHT.
Good for you stand your ground !Well today we went on a road trip through Joshua Tree with what appeared to be the day that 1M+ Asians went as well.
She needs to go to the bathroom at Skull Rock (only outhouse around) and I'm trying to get into the area and "I" have to make a u-turn. She starts going off with her usual you should do this or you should do that and I asked her "you want to fukin drive", her reply was "no because you'll start telling me what to do"...
Stopped the truck and put it park as I look at her and said "exactly so STFU"
It was a speechless ride back to Indio...I'm out back having a beer now.
Empty the box and tell her you found it that way them break some out while watching TvUpdate:. I found the peppermint bark! It was stashed behind the dish towels!
I'm watching golf. Mickelson and Charles Barkley vs Peyton Manning and Stephen Curry. Of course it was time to vacuum ... LOL.
She hates that I consider Lethal Weapon a Christmas movie.
You went to Joshua tree on Thanksgiving and that was your only punishment? You got off easy.Well today we went on a road trip through Joshua Tree with what appeared to be the day that 1M+ Asians went as well.
She needs to go to the bathroom at Skull Rock (only outhouse around) and I'm trying to get into the area and "I" have to make a u-turn. She starts going off with her usual you should do this or you should do that and I asked her "you want to fukin drive", her reply was "no because you'll start telling me what to do"...
Stopped the truck and put it park as I look at her and said "exactly so STFU"
It was a speechless ride back to Indio...I'm out back having a beer now.