High School sports

[brendellajet]

I know a lot of you have kids who are active and are involved in sports, some at a high level. Hoping I can gain a little I sight on what the wife and I are facing with our 13 year old son. He loves basketball. I have know idea how that happened. Always been a fan myself, but he found this on his own and has been working his butt off for four years on a solid travel team. He is already playing up a grade level and is a consistent starter. Last night one of his coaches asked if we've considered holding him back to grow a bit, noting that it would make a huge difference in his high school career, and possibly college. Waiting on a growth spurt, but have multiple family members in the 6-4 range on both sides of the family, so there may be some merit to giving him a little bit of time to grow.

Who here has held their kid back in the interest of athletic pursuits? Curious to see how it worked out, was it later regretted or did it pay off like you'd hoped? Any unintended consequences?

 

[monkeyswrench]

Personally, I would not hold him back academically. Most boys tend to sprout by their Jr year, which is when he can catch scouts eyes. I think they can't even talk with him until senior year, or at least that was the NCAA rule years ago. If you choose to hold him back, make sure he is cool with the drawbacks and such. I've seen parents push kids and regret it later. Either resentful kids, or kids just burnt out early. Your kid will always be your kid, but your kid may not always be a basketball player.

 

[ltbaney1]

I would make damn sure its what he wants as well. I played football up until HS and was pretty good. My dad played all through HS and some junior college. He sat me down and said if you really want to keep playing football, i will send you to Mater Dei for HS. He laid it all it out, the cost and commitment he would be making and told me what would be expected of me and even took me there to talk to the coach and other people. Looking back best decision i made was to stop football my freshman year. Not saying that is the case for you and your family. Only you and yours know what’s best for you. But in my case i was getting burned out. Just my .02

 

[Singleton]

Our kids were held back, but not for sports or academics.
We switched schools and when we looked at the data, our boys would of been the youngest in their class (turning 17 a month before HS graduation), when over 75% of the class was 18 at HS graduation. So we kept them back a year so they would be more aligned with the kids they attended school with.

If you want your kid to score a basketball scholarship to help pay for college, ask yourself what you want your kid to get out of college. Playing college level sports is a full time job and puts athletics before academics!
Employees daughter had a full ride to UCLA for softball, she ended up quitting the team when she was told she could not take a course she needed to graduate in 3 years (she was wicked smart as well). She quit the team, lost the scholarship and her parents had to pay out of state tuition until she graduated. She was going to school to get an education and used sports to help, but knew education was P1 and once sports interfered she was done.

 

[JD D05]

I know a lot of you have kids who are active and are involved in sports, some at a high level. Hoping I can gain a little I sight on what the wife and I are facing with our 13 year old son. He loves basketball. I have know idea how that happened. Always been a fan myself, but he found this on his own and has been working his butt off for four years on a solid travel team. He is already playing up a grade level and is a consistent starter. Last night one of his coaches asked if we've considered holding him back to grow a bit, noting that it would make a huge difference in his high school career, and possibly college. Waiting on a growth spurt, but have multiple family members in the 6-4 range on both sides of the family, so there may be some merit to giving him a little bit of time to grow.

Who here has held their kid back in the interest of athletic pursuits? Curious to see how it worked out, was it later regretted or did it pay off like you'd hoped? Any unintended consequences?

First off it is great that he found what he is passionate about. I was exactly the same as your son and so was my brother, I even had to wait for the growth spurt etc. When I was younger I played on the best team in the state of Utah. We were really good, most of the guys went onto college. I did not play much and overall it was not a great experience for me other than I saw the best competition this is around age 10 to 14 ish. After that I played on a few less competitive teams but we were still good. My 9th grade year I was the last guy cut from the high school and I was furious but I think it was a blessing but it's hard to say for sure. I ended up making the high school team the next year and passed up all the guys that made it over me the year before. Junior year was the 6th man on Varsity and played the 3rd most minuets on the 5A state championship team. Went onto college but injuries kept me from really doing anything. My bro played D1.

It is tough to know what is best for your kid I don't know him or the all the details or the coaches true motivation. What I can tell you without a doubt is your son will not become good there he will become good on his own or with you. Ball handling is by the far the best skill he can work on followed by shooting and defensive skills.

I knew a guy who got cut every year from the high school team and ended up being the Mountain West Conference player of the year.

Where are you located?

 

[3queens]

--" NCAA senior players drafted by an NBA team: -- drafted by an NBA team: About three in 10,000, or 0.03 percent. That's roughly the chance of getting four of a kind in the first round of draw poker"

Push to do well in school
only hold them back for academic reasons not sports

The coaches only look at there wining seasons
not in the kids best interest

 

[TX Foilhead]

Mine graduates HS next week, he’s one of the youngest in his class. He’ll be 18 the end of June. He has quite a few friends from various sports who were held back from the beginning for sports reasons. Small school, they’ve always been in his class since kindergarten so he’s never known anything else. Most of his close friends are actually a class older and he as spent as much time this year hanging out with them when they’re home or visiting them at college.

It would be very weird to stop a year in middle school at the same school.

 

[brendellajet]

Thanks all for the posts,i I really appreciate it. My son has goals. They are his own, and they are reasonable. He wants to play college ball. His skills and performance will determine where that takes place. He is motivated most by the NCAA tournament, but understands it's a long shot.

I think his biggest worry is the friends. Agree that would be really hard on him. He is young for his age though, 17 year old when he is playing as a senior.

Regarding the odds of making the NBA, not even concerned with that. He has his head on straight and knows he needs to win the lottery and get struck by lightning on the same day in order for that to happen. He knows basketball will end one day and that grades come first whether he is in high school or college.

 

[Cole Trickle]

Personally I would have held him back in the first couple years of school not at his current age.

I turned 18 2 months after I graduated. I purposefully started my son late so he will be almost 18.5 when he graduates.

 

[ArizonaKevin]

I grew up with a kid that got held back in 8th grade for athletic reasons and it was a tough transition for him, those of us who were in 9th grade didn't want to hang out with an 8th grader and the kids who ended up in his class didn't really like him either.

From the athletic side, it didn't work out for him either because there was a phenom kid from another school so the guy that got held back ended up riding the pine his senior year.

My thoughts are that if the kid has it, he has it regardless of what grade he is put in.

 

[HNL2LHC]

I would not hold him back for sports. Either he can do it or not. Our son would have benefited from being held back but the reality is that he would have hit the wall at some point that he could not go any further. Best of luck it is a challenge to say th least.

 

[brgrcru]

We started both kids late at school
My son was 18 when he graduated, 2 weeks away form 19.
It helped him . In sports. He was not ready to start school just turning 5 .

In sports he was on the highest level club soccer team that won everything, from league titles to state championships to national champs on 2 different teams . Missed lots of school playing
His high school team that he played for won league all four years he was on it.
His senior year, they won everything, league and CIF champs.
He was voted MVP in league and division 2.

Between 16/17 he spent the summer training at Hanover 96 pro academy . They loved him , but he told me he didn't want to stay.
played college one year. Learned a trade .

Moral of the story
Sports were great , studies were off. Coaches club and high school will do what ever they can to benefit there program.
At 13 we thought he was going to be in Europe playing as a pro player.
At 25 he has his own machine shop and is killing it.
Sports brings that work ethic ,
Enjoy the ride , tell him , he can do what ever he can.

My daughter almost had the same story . But she played soccer for ASU, received some help for being a great student and good player. then stoped after 2 years.
She became a nurse, again she worked super hard

 

[Englewood]

Im in a similar dilemma. My son will turn 18 a month after he graduates. I am seriously considering giving him a 1yr break from school after 8th grade. People in the know all say an extra year of sports makes all the difference in the world.

 

[TCHB]

Focus on Academics and golf. Both will help them out!!!!!

 

[4Waters]

The time to hold him back for sports was 5 years ago, let him graduate with his friends that he has been going to school with all these years.

 

[oldschool]

The time to hold him back for sports was 5 years ago, let him graduate with his friends that he has been going to school with all these years.

Agreed 100%.

 

[rightytighty]

The time to hold him back for sports was 5 years ago, let him graduate with his friends that he has been going to school with all these years.

Agree! D1 talent will be obvious regardless. Friends are forever and being “held back” at this age could be brutal—-kids being kids. Social confidence is as important as athletic confidence.

My son plays hockey. He doesn’t have D1 level skills but he’s playing D3 hockey and living the life.

Don’t force it would be my recommendation.

 

[Bails]

My brother has an August birthday so my parents had him take a redshirt year in 1st grade.

 

[Yellowboat]

Don't hold them back.

 

[Cobalt232]

The time to hold him back was before he started kindergarten. We did that to my son who has a late August birthday and glad we did. My mom was a kindergarten teacher and heavily suggested that. He was not into sports.

My daughter played club soccer and probably would have gotten a soccer scholarship to a second or third tier school, but then she broke her foot and had two surgeries to fix. She is now at the University of San Francisco getting her teaching degree.

Slightly off topic..
The author Malcolm Gladwell has a great chapter in his book on The Matthew Effect regarding Canadian hockey players that play at a high level have a January, February or March birthday.
http://sportsperformance.blogs.wm.edu/environmental-factors/the-matthew-effect/

 

[sirbob]

We didn’t hold ours but were amazed by how many other kids were held back that our kids played sports with.

Usually it’s a repeat of seventh or eighth grade.

 

[Havasu blue label]

Ok my boys played baseball. Football they both attended Loyola high school in Los angels both made varsity baseball freshmen year but lacrosse came out as a Cif sport. One went to college on a full ride for the sport the other went to college full ride on academic sports are the entertainment for kids education comes first but enjoy the fun

 

[HBCraig]

My kids are in the same situation

Focus on academics.

My daughter is 15 and is getting recruited by D1 schools She is young. If they can play then it wont make a huge difference

 

[JD D05]

I took this as moved or held back on the actually sports team in my original post. Keep in mind they don't have to start playing college ball right after high school.