How do you not bring it home?

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Sounds like a temporary thing. Ride it out and things will get back to normal. It's not something that's going to last forever. Let the wife know how you feel and she'll probably just listen and that makes things better.

 

[bowtiejunkie]

reading along...

I primarily work from home, but out of town 60% of the work days. So, I basically never leave work (even on the road, once you leave client and are back at hotel, you're still basically at work and working for "free"). The poor wife deals with my complaining. The inefficiencies, the lack of family time, the hobbies/projects I can't to due to maintenance of house/yard/cars, it's really starting to wear on me. On top of that you try to stick to a budget, but expenses just keep increasing. I have no consistent method of controlling the stress day to day. Recently dusted the road bike off and that has helped both me and the kids.

Long term: we've been seriously thinking of moving to Dallas area, as it puts me in a better spot work-wise (It's a major market for my work and employer - where I live now there is zero work/employer presence), more days home, greater offering of ways to go have fun. But this process is putting the stress to another level due to costs involved and mortgage debt will have to increase.

 

[white tortilla]

I have this same problem. Usually just scream for a while on the drive home.

 

[Havasu blue label]

Did you work coke before

 

[Orange Juice]

We are going through some changes at work and the stress has just been ramped up 10 fold over the last month. I do my best to compartmentalize my life so my wife doesn't bear the brunt of it but over the last week or so she has been starting to notice my stress.

Those of you who work in much more stressful jobs than me, do you have any tips on not bringing that stress home to affect the personal life?

Celexa can help with work, and at home.

Probably need to talk to your doctor. There’s a pill for everything.

 

[DLow]

We are going through some changes at work and the stress has just been ramped up 10 fold over the last month. I do my best to compartmentalize my life so my wife doesn't bear the brunt of it but over the last week or so she has been starting to notice my stress.

Those of you who work in much more stressful jobs than me, do you have any tips on not bringing that stress home to affect the personal life?

Work can be stressful, but work isn't your life. There is nothing on this planet more important than family and health. Figure out the stressor and start to come up with a solution. People typically go to work to provide a service or product. Insurance happens to be both. Realize that you aren't providing better service or product by stressing out over it. Fix problems, don't manifest them. Early in my career I had a mentor tell me that it is OK to say no. Sometimes you just have to.
Oh, and meds aren't a solution. They are a band aid that just makes things hurt worse when you have to tear them off.

 

[Rondog4405]

Iam a straight up asshole all week long.. Absolutely hate what i do for work...90% due to the socal traffic.. Iam seriously only really truly happy when i cross that bridge into parker and feel that freedom and stress fly right out the window.. My wife gets to deal with my miserable ass all week long ..and thats what she gets for not wanting to leave cali. For me its impossible to leave that shit at work when you sit on the freeways for 2 plus hours after a day of hell..

 

[franky]

I try to take a relaxing walk on a golf course.

Funny you would post that. In that movie Robert Duvall played a detective that was retiring and moving to Lake Havasu.

 

[530RL]

Not to be a cynic but isn’t work supposed to be stressful?

All the jobs I have found to be not stressful don’t pay for shit and after a while, even they become stressful. Just human nature.

Work is going to be stressful. I realize a ditch digger has as much stress as any president of the United States. So my view is bring on the highest paying stressful job, I’ll take the money and use it to make my life outside of work the least stressful as possible.

The question is not will it be stressful; but how much stress are you willing to assume and deal with relative to the pay?

 

[HydroSkreamin]

Well, I find that sunrises, lunch runs, sunsets, and generally all time spent in my boat overcomes any worries about work. There’s a reason the boat has its name...

One of the things I’ve learned that make me feel better at work is establishing where realistic lines need to be drawn with coworkers and bosses. Another thing that one of my former bosses insisted on was no bitching about a problem unless you offer a reasonable solution. If you proclaim this and follow it, people generally either show up with solutions or know you’re not a shoulder to cry on. The last thing that I try to do is take care of extra work calls during commute time, and limit what you take while in your house. Sometimes it can’t be helped, but minimizing it definitely does.

It’s always seemed to me if you need to deal with issues chemically on a regular basis, there’s something fundamentally wrong long term. Not that it’s wrong to use as a coping mechanism, but that the underlying problem is not being dealt with, and will reoccur until it is.

 

[CarolynandBob]

I usually would get home before my wife. She didn't get to work before 9am. I was always at work before 6 am.
When I got home I would play with the dogs and then sit down and read a book for an hour. After that I would start cooking dinner and help the kid with homework. After doing that stuff I wouldn't even think about work.
If work called after doing that, I was usually in a better mind to deal with it and it didn't stress me out.