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Communicating with the Wife/SO. Any tales?

TPC

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Wife tending a Burros deep cut in Parker:
5E5395CF-FF0D-431D-9722-75130BD13348.jpeg


When my wife wants something or something done she tells me in the form of a question.
I usually answer in " In other words you want me to move the trucks? In other words you want me to trim the roses?"
It's bound to eventually get me in trouble.

We were in The Dually last week the DD wife driving back to camp from the Grand Canyon Bars. The signal changed green for us and a big SUV blew the red and I said stop, then yelled stop when the wife kept rolling.
That’s the first time you ever raised your voice to me” she said.

Well, that doesn't qualify in my book.
So that debate continues. I’m loosing it. Any further discussion Alice will finish me off.
Alice can kick my ass with a few soft spoken words. I married someone far smarter than me and bratty when she needs to be.

We have a tranquil home. The biggest daily event is the dog licks the sleeping cats face and a shitstorm breaks out for 20 seconds.
That’s the only drama at Crankshaft Manor.

I took the trash out once with my robe on. Wife hates seeing that. She chewed my ass in a soft spoken yet razor sharp set of words embedded in razor blades, broken glass and barbed, rusty fish hooks.

I agree with her. She’s right. I do look like a walking soup sandwich in my robe wheeling the garbage out to the street.

So how is the communication at your home?
 
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JD D05

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Me and my wife actually communicate really well, it is just normal back and forth. Hey I need this or I need that etc. On Sat morning I told her I was tired of the closet not being organized and she did it etc. But it isn't like I am laying around doing nothing either. I walk outside at night in my underwear to piss in the front yard also.
 

DrunkenSailor

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Wife is the quiet volcano. All good, birds are singing, sun is shining then wham i forgot to do something that she asked.me to.do. I then get to relive all of the things that i havent done in the past six months. Then if shes really pissed the shit from 4 years ago that was slightly less petty than this shit.
 

TrollerDave

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I like to watch TV. Especially movies. I’ll be watching something in the living room and I start to hear Charlie Brown’s teacher from the other room. Me “What? Are you talking to me?”
Her “Yeah, I said I’m going to go get my hair colored next week.”
Me “Ok.” Thinking why do I need to know this now. Alright back to my movie.
Her, still from the other room “ I want to move that plant from the front to the backyard.”
Me muting the TV, “WHAT?”

And she wonders why I watch the same movies over again.
 

Gramps

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"So that debate continues. I’m loosing it.".................get use to it, you haven't been married very long
 

coolchange

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Road tripping with the wife.
She'll start a conversation, and slowly her conversation starts to be held with the passenger side window. Radio on, tires howlin...
WHAT?
I said," blah blah blah blah blah"eventually with her turning her head looking out the passenger window again.
WHAT?
Eventually I stop saying what?
" You're not listening to me."
WHAT?
So I hang my head a little bit, and close my right eye. Drift over and hit the bot dots.
She gets excited, "hey hey hey!!!" You awake/ okay?
I keep my right eye closed, left eye open, and look at her with a smirk on my face.
She gets pissed, makes some comment.
Then I get a nice quiet trip. For about an hour. Then she starts talking to that person outside the passenger window again...
 

Sherpa

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Wow, I thought I was only one who's wife "talks to me" while facing the other way.. And I'm supposedly the only person who can't hear her or understand what was said.....
Too funny.

Sherpa
 

jeteater1

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The wife and I met in junior high school but didn't get together until after high school. We both know what each other is thinking. She points out the big boobs when were out ,cuzz she knows I like em. She is straight and to the point. She tells it how it is and we have had friends distance them self's from us. But she is mine. Lol
 

JD D05

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The wife and I met in junior high school but didn't get together until after high school. We both know what each other is thinking. She points out the big boobs when were out ,cuzz she knows I like em. She is straight and to the point. She tells it how it is and we have had friends distance them self's from us. But she is mine. Lol

Perfect! Why did friends distance themselves?
 

buck35

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Wow, I thought I was only one who's wife "talks to me" while facing the other way.. And I'm supposedly the only person who can't hear her or understand what was said.....
Too funny.

Sherpa
I thought it was just me.:confused:

I can't even count how many times I've told her I don't hear you when you are walking away and talking to me.
 

RitcheyRch

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You are not alone. My wife likes to chat with me when I'm in the other end of the house and wonders why I don't answer. Lately, I come back say I heard you talking but didn't hear what you said from the back of the house.

Wow, I thought I was only one who's wife "talks to me" while facing the other way.. And I'm supposedly the only person who can't hear her or understand what was said.....
Too funny.

Sherpa
 

Deja_Vu

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If I give my wife too many “yes dear” replies in a row when she is talking to me, then she will say “Are you listening to me?” Of course honey... Then she proceeds to ask “Okay what did I just say then?”... oh snap I guess I missed that part.
 

Mr. C

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Wow, I thought I was only one who's wife "talks to me" while facing the other way.. And I'm supposedly the only person who can't hear her or understand what was said.....
Too funny.

Sherpa
LOL, Mine always walks out of the room or upstairs continuing on, thinking i can hear her. I now just yell. " I can't fucking hear you when you're walking away":eek::D
 

RitcheyRch

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My wife does the same thing.

If I give my wife too many “yes dear” replies in a row when she is talking to me, then she will say “Are you listening to me?” Of course honey... Then she proceeds to ask “Okay what did I just say then?”... oh snap I guess I missed that part.
 

RadMan

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I often ask my wife a question like this weekend since I was traveling, “how did Liam play in his soccer game”? I get several minutes of soccer stuff and multiple strong opinions about all kinds of soccer game stuff but none about Liam. So, when she stops, I go right back to “how did Liam play in his soccer game”? She hates that, I do too, but I’m at least laughing, she hates that too.
 

TomD

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When the wife is in the other room and trying to talk to me like I'm right there and don't hear her I start mumbling like baby talk. The next thing I know she's right next to and she starts telling me what she said and at the end of what ever it is she adds "You asshole" and we both laugh.
 

Motor Boater

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Driving down the road with my wife:
Wife: do you have to pee?
Me: No
Wife: fumes for the next 5 miles and blows up when I pass the next rest stop because apparently she had to pee.
Me: why didn’t you just say you had to pee instead of asking me if I had to pee?
 

jeteater1

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I've been on temporary disability from a work related back accident for over a year now. So we talk alot more, like being retired I guess.
 

farmo83

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My wife never believes a word I say.

Her worthless ass old mean pet cat ran away last week and when I said I was devastated by this news she said I was full of shit. I got a little drunk Saturday night and I told her it was to drown my sorrows away that the cat was missing, once again she did not believe a word I said.
 

LHC Kirby

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Last year, with granddaughter in the car.... heading to LHC..wife and her take turns just talking, not saying anything... :rolleyes:.. I suggest “the quiet game” ...... who ever talks first ... loser.

Best 30 MINUTES of the drive :D

Next trip, as my wife is talking and talking.... granddaughter says “can we play the quiet game”

I got “the look” from my wife :eek:
 

JD D05

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About once a year my wife will make some comment about something that is just some of the dumbest shit I have ever heard. Usually something about me or something I did or didn't do. Shit like we haven't been married for 15 years and I am a total stranger. Everytime I say in a medium calm voice "that is some of the dumbest fucking shit I have heard from anyone". She usually goes to bed a little early and it is over.
 

HNL2LHC

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Last year, with granddaughter in the car.... heading to LHC..wife and her take turns just talking, not saying anything... :rolleyes:.. I suggest “the quiet game” ...... who ever talks first ... loser.

Best 30 MINUTES of the drive :D

Next trip, as my wife is talking and talking.... granddaughter says “can we play the quiet game”

I got “the look” from my wife :eek:


I loved the quite game when we had kids in the car. They didn’t get it for years of playing it.
 

RitcheyRch

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reverse psychology

Driving down the road with my wife:
Wife: do you have to pee?
Me: No
Wife: fumes for the next 5 miles and blows up when I pass the next rest stop because apparently she had to pee.
Me: why didn’t you just say you had to pee instead of asking me if I had to pee?
 

TrollerDave

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OMG, I think some of us are married to the same woman. :D

I give another example for a chance to sleep on the couch.

Some of you mentioned how she talks while walking away. What about when you walk away? :confused:

The Boomerang Conversation:
We can be talking in the kitchen and I have have to go to the down the hall to go to the garage or bathroom or whatever. I make the mistake of thinking the story/conversation is over. I walk down the hall and apparently, there’s more to the story. So I go back and listen, trying not to be rude.
OK, I make the same mistake thinking the story is over and walk down the hall. But it’s not. So I go back because I guess I need to announce that I’m leaving.
 

Rajobigguy

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I ask the wife if Leah (daughter) will be eating with us tonight and she goes into a long detailed diatribe about Phillip (daughters boyfriend) and how he is working late. Then I ask her if Phillip is working late and she snaps at me that she just told me and that I wasn't listening. I then told her that I heard everything she said but since I asked about Leah and she told me about Phillip I naturally assumed that If asked about Philip that she might tell me about Leah which is what I originally asked about
 

HNL2LHC

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I ask the wife if Leah (daughter) will be eating with us tonight and she goes into a long detailed diatribe about Phillip (daughters boyfriend) and how he is working late. Then I ask her if Phillip is working late and she snaps at me that she just told me and that I wasn't listening. I then told her that I heard everything she said but since I asked about Leah and she told me about Phillip I naturally assumed that If asked about Philip that she might tell me about Leah which is what I originally asked about

I bet that went over as good as a turd in a punchbowl. LOL
 

LargeOrangeFont

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I ask the wife if Leah (daughter) will be eating with us tonight and she goes into a long detailed diatribe about Phillip (daughters boyfriend) and how he is working late. Then I ask her if Phillip is working late and she snaps at me that she just told me and that I wasn't listening. I then told her that I heard everything she said but since I asked about Leah and she told me about Phillip I naturally assumed that If asked about Philip that she might tell me about Leah which is what I originally asked about

Solid plan.
 

HNL2LHC

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My wife is tomboy and speaks "male" very well. She says what she means and means what she says.

...unless it's about choosing a restaurant, then all hell breaks loose

The old what do you want to eat? I don’t care.

Ok let’s go to......insert restaurant

Oh no not that one. Argh!!!!!!}^#^{%
 

Ziggy

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Mine asks me questions........as if I were named Google.
How da fook should I know? I'm not the Shell Answer Man!:confused:
.
Or....
If I do give her the answer then I get the "Really?" reply:rolleyes:. To which I retort with "I don't lie to you".:cool::)
 

HNL2LHC

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You are supposed to ask them to guess where you are taking them. It's amazing, my wife is right every time:p:D so will yours;):):D

Yeah that’s right I remember that thread. I just forget to use that tactic with her. LOL
 
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