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Communicating with the Wife/SO. Any tales?

Baja 252

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I've had a couple really bad bitchy psycho girlfriends over the years. I guess I learned from my mistakes, because I'm pretty good at picking wives.
At 25, 1st wife, 20/20 hindsight, I married too young. We knew it was a mistake right off, divorced in a year. No real big fights, communicated okay, just different people with different goals.
At 29, 2nd wife and mother of my son, I hit the wife jackpot, fantastic communication, few small disagreements, but overall things were great. Unfortunately she unexpectedly passed away at 39 from a blood clot that caused a heart attack. I thought my life was over.
At 48, 3rd wife was not planned, expected or sought out. She was someone that used to work for me that I just ran into one day. Married a year latter and I hit the fricken jackpot twice!! Two new step children were a big change, but we communicate great and have always talked things out when they come up. I feel guilty sometimes cause it almost works better than wife #2. The biggest thing that helped is we both knew what we wanted, so upfront we both set some ground rules and each insisted on some must haves in the relationship. We both stick to them with out fail. She had a bad 1st marriage and I have to deal with that sometimes, but over all not bad. We haven't had any real big fights and she never makes the little bitchy comments I see other guys wife's make.
I still can't believe how lucky I am in marriage.
 

HB2Havasu

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Looks like everybody’s wives talk to them as they’re walking away also, lol. Worse yet is when your wife tries to strike up a conversation while your trying to take the kids swimming. I don’t know why but that just pushes my buttons, lol.
 

TPC

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On the level this really happened. The truth.

When the wife makes a left turn traffic has to be clear from Honolulu to Jerusalem. It’ll drive you up the fucking wall.
I usually don’t say anything so she won’t throw a hate fuck on me that night in bed.

So we’re turning into the Do It Center from a side entrance street and if we’re moving any slower we’d be in reverse.

The Do It Centers main entrance has traffic backed way up waiting for the light to change.

No kidding I mentioned to the wife in a normal voice “ya better step it up or this empty lot will be full before we reach a spot.”
I got the backseat driver lecture in response.

Yeah I was being sarcastic, wasn’t really expecting that but then the main entrance light changed and right before us,,,, the parking lot filled up with cars before we made it in.

So help me it’s a true story.
 

TPC

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So we’re at St Anthony’s Sand Dunes.

When the wife gets behind the X3’s wheel she grows devils horns and the gas pedal is through the plastic floor.
You pass us she will most definitely kick it in the ass and pass you.

Guys only want to pass girls because they are thinking with their dick” chic philosophy behind that maneuver.

Alice loves speed. She'd hold on with her arms around the neck of her thoroughbred horses and kick her boot heel in the horses nutsac and ride full gallop jumping split rail fences. Peg to peg with her Kawai Ninja through the canyons. A chick built for and loves speed.

So I bust out the camera to get a YouTube recorded and Alice defaults back to 20 MPH Cautious Carla, the only girl in the world with meteor insurance. Safe and prudent driver. Happy, sensible motoring on the dunes instructional video.

So two guys on quads are in front of us. They don’t know we’re behind them. They turn and head up the side of a dune to the top. One stops the other guy heads down the other side.

The guy at the top of the dune never looks around to see if it’s clear and gives his friend the all clear sign to jump.

The wife not knowing this suddenly stops right in the landing zone. She busts out her dune map to get bearings. We're heading to Choke Cherry but now we’re dead in the water, engine off in the bullseye.

I say in a calm voice “ya need to start the engine and we need to move.”
She starts with the backseat driver lecture as the guy on the quad comes flying over the dune and missed us by inches.
 
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Nordie

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All kidding aside my second marriage is a complete win. We laugh at each other and communicate very well. My only gripe is when she calls me on the phone. I say what I need to say and tell her I'll see her when she gets home, well it takes another 5 to 10 minutes to get her off of the phone after that. At that point she's pulling into the driveway anyway.

I hope she never cuts her hair, I like hanging out on RDP
 

Go-Fly

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No problems here. Just like I have no questions what a cop means when they say "let me see your hands or I'll shoot". I have no questions when Mrs. Go-Fly says "shut the fuck up and get away from me".
 

JD D05

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So we’re at St Anthony’s Sand Dunes.

When the wife gets behind the X3’s wheel she grows devils horns and the gas pedal is through the plastic floor.
You pass us she will most definitely kick it in the ass and pass you.

Guys only want to pass girls because they are thinking with their dick” chic philosophy behind that maneuver.
Alice loves speed. She'd hold on with her arms around the neck of her thoroughbred horses and kick her boot heel in the horses nutsac and ride full throttle jumping split rail fences. Peg to peg with her Kawai Ninja through the canyons. A chick built for and loves speed.

So I bust out the camera to get a YouTube recorded and Alice defaults back to 20 MPH Cautious Carla, the only girl in the world with meteor insurance. Safe and prudent driver. Happy, sensible motoring on dunes instructional video.

So two guys on quads are in front of us. They don’t know we’re behind them. They turn and head up the side of a dune to the top. One stops the other guy heads down the other side.

The guy at the top of the dune never looks around to see if it’s clear and gives his friend the all clear sign to jump.

The wife not knowing this suddenly stops right in the landing zone. I dunno why but we’re dead in the water, engine off in the bullseye.

I say in a calm voice “ya need to start the engine and we need to move.”
She starts with the backseat driver lecture as the guy in the quad comes flying over the dune and missed us by inches.

So I tell my wife all the time that she doesn't anticipate 2 or 3 steps / scenarios ahead. Driving she takes in what is right in front of her and that is all. As a superior human I am always anticipating potential shit, last year I slowed down coming to an intersection and my daughter who is learning to drive realized I saw the accident coming...I took that opportunity to tell her drive like her dad.
 

Mandelon

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We get along pretty good.

I have learned to shut up and eat whatever gross healthy shit is laid in front of me for dinner. LOL

When she asks for me to do something, I try to take care of it right away. Saves getting reminded later.

A few weeks ago I was erasing some recorded shows off the cable box. Instead of erasing the ones I saved first, I asked her about erasing her shows. That went sideways for a day or two. It was really out of character for her to be upset over something so dumb, but she took it to mean that my stuff was important and 7 episodes of This is Us and 33 recordings of various Housewives of (insert the city here) wasn't worth saving. We laugh about it now.

Been married for 30 years this week.
 

Xring01

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This thread, reminded me of my Dads favorite joke.

He was just about to turn 80 years old when he passed. So this joke is a bit dated and may not make sense to the younger crowds...
It goes like this..

Did you hear about that new camera that was just invented.
Yep its truly amazing.
They actually created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, it can get a picture of a woman with her mouth closed!


Then he would belly laugh for 10 minutes after with tears in his eyes... every time he told it... he loved that joke.

Yep my mom talked alot, yep my sister talked alot... damn that joke pissed them off...

My wife has pretty much all the communication issues mentioned in this thread.

Never stops talking!

Never accepts my answers to the un relenting questions! Starts an argument over my answers, that I didnt want to answer to begin with... To the point, I will state, if you knew the answer to begin with, why are you asking me?

Loves to scream from one end of the house to the other, knowing that I have hearing loss in both ears.

Never leaves a break in her talking for you to reply. So I answer back to her 15 minute dialog! , Yes, maybe, we have to discuss that further... Absolutely no... She looks at me with a confused face... and I give her the same one back...

I keep going butt its best if I shut the fuck up now....
 

JD D05

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Does anyone do shit just to piss them off? My wife is usually 2nd to bed and she has "her" pillow. I occasionally will take it and hide it from her, god she gets pissed.

I also make a sipping sound when my beer is gone until she gets me another.

Go around and make it so all the light switches aren't even too.
 

Xring01

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Does anyone do shit just to piss them off? My wife is usually 2nd to bed and she has "her" pillow. I occasionally will take it and hide it from her, god she gets pissed.

Yea all the time...
I walk into the room...

She jumps, why are you trying scare me...????

I had no intentions of scaring her....

The one I do on purpose, piss's her the fuck off...
She takes alot of time in the bathroom.....

So I sneak up to the door, all quiet and stealth like... Knock on that door hard and loud repeatedly for 10-15 seconds... scares the shit out of her...
THen I ask, did that help, noticed you where in there awhile, and might need some help...

now I am cracking myself up...
 

JD D05

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Yea all the time...
I walk into the room...

She jumps, why are you trying scare me...????

I had no intentions of scaring her....

The one I do on purpose, piss's her the fuck off...
She takes alot of time in the bathroom.....

So I sneak up to the door, all quiet and stealth like... Knock on that door hard and loud repeatedly for 10-15 seconds... scares the shit out of her...
THen I ask, did that help, noticed you where in there awhile, and might need some help...

now I am cracking myself up...

LOL! So my wife is a really heavy sleeper. I will pop her boob out and snap a pic and send it to her the next day. WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT!!!!?
 

Rajobigguy

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The one that really gets me is when she asks for my opinion. Just like the other day when she decided that my lazy boy is really beginning to show it's age so she starts out on a mission to find a replacement. She has already determined that she doesn't want to pony up for a real Lazy Boy so she starts looking around for bargains. She finds a recliner at Costco that she is in love with and says lets go and take a look. We get there and she says if I like it that we'll just take it home. This thing is articulated in every way possible. It rocks, it glides, it swivels and does a bunch of other stuff. I go to sit in it and almost end up on my but because it slides back about a foot while i'm trying to sit down. I tell her that I don't want something that moves in that many directions. She says that is what she likes about it and I say but you're not the one sitting in it. Now she is pissed because I'm not impressed with choice. I say why did you ask my opinion when you clearly don't care what I think? That just made her madder.
This happens all the time. If she cooks something different for dinner she will ask what I think and I'm always honest about it, If it's good I say so but if I don't care for it she is pissed.
 

500bbc

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My wife is pretty easy, unless there's tequila involved.
Other than that if we're watching a show or movie it has to be cranked up, she'll start talking so I'll pause and ask "What"?

"I can't believe she's wearing that dress with those shoes!".:rolleyes:
 

TrollerDave

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a superior human .
This needs to be on your business card.
Does anyone do shit just to piss them off? .

She’ll be worried about something and ask me what I think.
My answer “It’s fine.”
She absolutely hates when I say that whether it’s true or not.
Of course this goes along with the point of wife asking husband’s opinion and not believing or accepting it.
 

JD D05

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This needs to be on your business card.


She’ll be worried about something and ask me what I think.
My answer “It’s fine.”
She absolutely hates when I say that whether it’s true or not.
Of course this goes along with the point of wife asking husband’s opinion and not believing or accepting it.

I get that "it's fine" from my wife! I will be at some cheer comp on Sat and see a big storm cell hit Wyoming...Got to go really have no choice, that's when I get the it's fine.
 

rmarion

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On the level this really happened. The truth.

When the wife makes a left turn traffic has to be clear from Honolulu to Jerusalem. It’ll drive you up the fucking wall.
I usually don’t say anything so she won’t throw a hate fuck on me that night in bed.

So we’re turning into the Do It Center from a side entrance street and if we’re moving any slower we’d be in reverse.

The Do It Centers main entrance has traffic backed way up waiting for the light to change.

No kidding I mentioned to the wife in a normal voice “ya better step it up or this empty lot will be full before we reach a spot.”
I got the backseat driver lecture in response.

Yeah I was being sarcastic, wasn’t really expecting that but then the main entrance light changed and right before us,,,, the parking lot filled up with cars before we made it in.

So help me it’s a true story.
TPC, I have never drove with my Honey??? in 45 years... her car, my car, etc...
 
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Sleek-Jet

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20 minutes ago, we are sitting in the couch. She mumbles something while looking at my daughter sitting across the room. About a minute later I get "You aren't paying attention"

I don't say anything.

"Stop ignoring me!"

Huh, what?

She was taking to me but looking at someone else.... like a good husband I apologize.

We can't win.
 

Xtrmwakeboarder

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I like to watch TV. Especially movies. I’ll be watching something in the living room and I start to hear Charlie Brown’s teacher from the other room. Me “What? Are you talking to me?”
Her “Yeah, I said I’m going to go get my hair colored next week.”
Me “Ok.” Thinking why do I need to know this now. Alright back to my movie.
Her, still from the other room “ I want to move that plant from the front to the backyard.”
Me muting the TV, “WHAT?”

And she wonders why I watch the same movies over again.
LMFAO that is me and my wife nearly every day until I turn on one of her shows...
 

Xtrmwakeboarder

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Driving down the road with my wife:
Wife: do you have to pee?
Me: No
Wife: fumes for the next 5 miles and blows up when I pass the next rest stop because apparently she had to pee.
Me: why didn’t you just say you had to pee instead of asking me if I had to pee?
Yah, but don't tell me you didn't know her question meant "I have to pee" and you ignored it. I get this constantly, and my brain just interprets it as a question so I don't get annoyed. I guess she re-wired me after 8 years together.
 

TPC

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Washing communication:

Our recreation vehicle sleeps 12.
My nieces were visiting and brought friends.

We were camping in the desert the wife to join us later. With two vehicles we could also hit some shows and fun spots in Vegas. But that's a different thread.

I had ordered long fiber, high thread count sheets and pillow cases at the wife’s specific instructions.

I washed the sheets and would make the beds up.
Wifie told me “fold the sheets and let the girls make their own beds”.
"I don’t mind making up the beds" I said.
Wife responded “otherwise the girls won’t trust that you really washed them.”

Anyway, girls that age all pile into one bed and sleep together like puppies.

Wife insists dishes be washed before putting in the dishwasher. Especially new cookware and flatware.
When Maynard was 7 he told mom he's contacting the Television show "My Strange Addiction" and reporting her.

 

musicFunsun

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For meals I tell my husband to be honest cuz if you say you like it, we will have it again! Doesn’t bother me if he didn’t like it. Now, as for agreeing to avoid ruffled feathers, that gets old real quick and I’ll call him out on it next time the subject comes up. As for driving, I pay attention, peddle to the metal and drive like it’s the quarter mile races!:p Good thing I can’t afford my dream car, a corvette!
 

JD D05

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For meals I tell my husband to be honest cuz if you say you like it, we will have it again! Doesn’t bother me if he didn’t like it. Now, as for agreeing to avoid ruffled feathers, that gets old real quick and I’ll call him out on it next time the subject comes up. As for driving, I pay attention, peddle to the metal and drive like it’s the quarter mile races!:p Good thing I can’t afford my dream car, a corvette!

RDP is an honest forum and we want to keep it that way.
 

jet496

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Wow, I thought I was only one who's wife "talks to me" while facing the other way.. And I'm supposedly the only person who can't hear her or understand what was said.....
Too funny.

Sherpa
I can only hear out of one ear anyway yet my speaks in a mumble, facing another direction & gets pissed that I can't hear. She rarely speaks clear & loud.

But then I'll do the same to her, speaking in a soft voice, looking outside & she gets pissed that I'm not speaking loud enough & facing her.

Women be crazy.
 

blefever

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First Woman in space:

Huston.......we have a problem.

OK, what's the problem?

Oh....never mind.

No really.......whats the problem?

Nothing.

Please tell us.

I'M FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A good marriage is totally a Give and Take situation..................she gives it and you take it!
 

TPC

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Does you wife or SO have Mom hearing?

Wife works ”don’t call it graveyard shift.”
She doesn’t go nap some hidden spot at work she iron mans the shifts and fully expects the girls working with her to as well. It’s essential. They can get on days if they can’t handle the hours.
The kid doctors really really on the experienced nurses.

After working five 12 hour over nite shifts Alice hits a coma like sleep. 22 hours was the record, we almost clocked her to 24 recently.

Chix take their senses to a new level beyond our capabilities.

What’s stymies the kids is mom still hears what’s going on in the house while in this coma.
If they didn’t wash their hands, if they are slacking on something like homework mom is taking it all in - in her sleep.

That goes for me too.
She knows everything I did.

I filled the animal feeders, remembered to use bleach washing the kids Sox, opened a box of KY that Amazon delivered, took my meds.
If I missed something it’s the first words outta her mouth when she wakes.

Science fiction Girl phenomena.
 
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DrunkenSailor

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Does you wife or SO have Mom hearing?

Wife works ”don’t call it graveyard shift.”
She doesn’t go nap some hidden spot at work she iron mans the shifts and fully expects the girls working with her to as well. It’s essential. They can get on days if they can’t handle the hours.
The kid doctors really really on the experienced nurses.

After working five 12 hour over nite shifts Alice hits a coma like sleep. 22 hours was the record, we almost clocked her to 24 recently.

Chix take their senses to a new level beyond our capabilities.

What’s stymies the kids is mom still hears what’s going on in the house while in this coma.
If they didn’t wash their hands, if they are slacking on something like homework mom is taking it all in - in her sleep.

That goes for me too.
She knows everything I did.

I filled the animal feeders, remembered to use bleach washing the kids Sox, opened a box of KY that Amazon delivered, took my meds.
If I missed something it’s the first words outta her mouth when she wakes.

Science fiction Girl phenomena.

Mine used to do.night shift before we had kids. Actually until our son was about a year old but i ptsd'd those memories. A collicky 4 month old that only wants momma can cry for a long time at surprisingly loud levels...

you deserve credit for raising a family at night without mom.
 
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TPC

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Ya ever push the wife over the edge/or Mars Attacks:

We usually have the biggest Toy hauler garage so at Thanksgiving people bring a pot luck to our trailer at Glamis.

I put on some soft background music that works out good.

I was ripping a few instrumental tunes off YouTube. No singing just music.
I ripped a steel guitar version of a Slim Whitman tune, actually was a catchy sound. I played it back in the house surround system to see if I ripped it ok.

Well, I had my iPhone on repeat play by an easy mistake and I stepped outside.
I forgot it was playing and I got distracted and stayed outside for over an hour the Slim Whitman instrumental steel guitar tune playing over and over.

Wife was sleeping off a shift and said it was driving her crazy. “Don’t play it ever again.”

It pushed her over the edge.

Slim Whitman at 1:01:


Ya ever push the wife over the edge like throwing you shop towels in the washer with the kids cloths?
 
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