Then the fight started..

[WYRD]

My Wife asked me tonight If she's the only one I've ever Loved. Of course I told her yes but I shouldn't have said the others were all nine's or ten's

Then the fight started!

 

[rivrrts429]

You should tongue punch her in the fart box [emoji106]

 

[BUDMAN]

rookie

 

[was thatguy]

My Wife asked me tonight If she's the only one I've ever Loved. Of course I told her yes but I shouldn't have said the others were all nine's or ten's

Then the fight started!

You didn’t tell her the jury was still out??

 

[HBCraig]

They were just dime pieces. It was only sex, no big deal.

 

[SKIDMARC]

My Wife asked me tonight If she's the only one I've ever Loved. Of course I told her yes but I shouldn't have said the others were all nine's or ten's

Then the fight started!

Lol. Oh man!!! At least you were honest. That’s what women always say they want. Until they get it! Lo

 

[Ouderkirk]

The question was lose/lose for you no matter how you answered it.

 

[Spudsbud]

I tell her all the time
You're my "first" choice............

 

[707dog]

she of told her... i f$%cked them but i love you

 

[DB / HAV]

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

 

[Mandelon]

The correct answer to "Do these pants make my butt look fat?"

Is not "No, it ain't the pants"

 

[MissB]

It's interesting that you lived long enough to post your story!

 

[Jyruiz]

My wife told me she was going to her sisters, I offered to pack all her stuff.

Then the fight started.

 

[HotRod82]

My wife asked me if she was the love of my life.....I said "so far". True story lol.

 

[DrunkenSailor]

I asked the wife what she wanted to do for dinner. She said I want to go somewhere I havent been in awhile. I said how about the kitchen...

 

[havasuhusker]

I told my wife she f@$ks better than her sister!

I am now typing this from the ICU

 

[Jyruiz]

I told my wife she f@$ks better than her sister!

I am now typing this from the ICU

LMAO!!!

 

[MissB]

My husband asked if he was the only one I'd ever slept with... I said yes, the others got kicked out after we had sex. We're divorced now...

 

[TITTIES AND BEER]

My said she wants 10” and wants it to hurt , so I fucked twice and punched her in the mouth

 

[WhatExit?]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

 

[WhatExit?]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

 

[WhatExit?]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the Jeep, doing stuff in the garage... Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctor said I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

 

[coolchange]

The wife wanted to play one of those fantasy Hall pass list games.
I was like what?
She says you know that fantasy list where you ever get the opportunity you get a pass.
I'm like no.
She's come on.
No.
You're never any fun.
These never end well someone always gets pissed.
She's like come on, it's just a game.
I said don't you actually get a true Hall pass if you get the opportunity.
She's like yeah but what's the odds of that happening.
So I didn't even say okay she just starts telling me her fantasy fuck Hall pass list.
She says Kevin Costner, Mel Gibson, Eddie vedder.
and I said so if you ever get the opportunity you think you get a hall pass to bang these three guys.
She says that's fun part. But there's no way that's ever going to happen. So she says come on tell me your list.
I said okay but remember you made me do it. And I get a pass right?
So I told her my list.
The shampoo girl where I get my haircut.
The girl that the deli that always gives me extra free meat.
And your sister.
And that's when the fight started.

 

[TITTIES AND BEER]

For my wife’s birthday I got her a pair of shoes and a dildo if she don’t like the shoes ? She can go fuck herself

 

[Carlson-jet]

My wife said she was taking the dog for a walk and never came back.
I miss the Dog.
True story.

 

[WYRD]

Wife and I were shopping together one afternoon. I came back with an 18 pack of beer and she told me I had to put it back since we were on a tight budget. I happened to notice the wife had put quite a bit of makeup, perfume, shampoo, and other toiletries in the cart. What about all this stuff I asked to which she replied this is necessities so that I can look pretty for you.
Well, I responded that is exactly what I needed the beer for too...then the fight started.

 

[Jed-O]

The wife wanted to play one of those fantasy Hall pass list games.
I was like what?
She says you know that fantasy list where you ever get the opportunity you get a pass.
I'm like no.
She's come on.
No.
You're never any fun.
These never end well someone always gets pissed.
She's like come on, it's just a game.
I said don't you actually get a true Hall pass if you get the opportunity.
She's like yeah but what's the odds of that happening.
So I didn't even say okay she just starts telling me her fantasy fuck Hall pass list.
She says Kevin Costner, Mel Gibson, Eddie vedder.
and I said so if you ever get the opportunity you think you get a hall pass to bang these three guys.
She says that's fun part. But there's no way that's ever going to happen. So she says come on tell me your list.
I said okay but remember you made me do it. And I get a pass right?
So I told her my list.
The shampoo girl where I get my haircut.
The girl that the deli that always gives me extra free meat.
And your sister.
And that's when the fight started.

This actually happened to me twenty years ago!
My girlfriend at the time asked me if I could have a three way with her and another chick, who would I choose? (I didn't realize that it was supposed to be a celebrity... Instead I thought she was putting up a serious offer) boy was I wrong!!!
My response was "Well our friend Lauren is pretty hot..."
I was in the doghouse for at least a week!

 

[WYRD]

My wife asked me at dinner last night if I'll ever thought about having a threesome who it would be with.... apparently her friend Tammy and Amy was not the right answer cuz then the fight started!

 

[FreeBird236]

My wife asked me at dinner last night if I'll ever thought about having a threesome who it would be with.... apparently her friend Tammy and Amy was not the right answer cuz then the fight started!

That's double bad.

 

[was thatguy]

My wife asked me at dinner last night if I'll ever thought about having a threesome who it would be with.... apparently her friend Tammy and Amy was not the right answer cuz then the fight started!

I can’t imagine a way in which you could have screwed up worse...

 

[petie6464]

Women are like the NVA when it comes to setting trip wires. .

 

[SoCalDave]

Sex therapist say it's good for your sexual relationship to share your fantasy's with your partner. Yeah I can just see her reaction when I tell her I want to fuk her best friend, I don't think that is going to help our relationship one bit.

 

[Ascot71]

Walked into the bedroom last night, and my Wife is rubbing Coco Butter on her breasts. I ask what's going on, and she replies "I read in my magazine today that rubbing Coco Butter on your breasts several times a day will increase their size"

I watch for a few seconds, then ask her "Why don't you just rub some toilet paper on them?"

Wife asked "Does that work?"

I reply, "Worth a shot. Look what it's done to your ass over the years".

Don't remember much after that, but that's when the fight started.........

 

[DrunkenSailor]

My wife asked me to load the dishwasher.

I shrugged my shoulders and said "Ok"

I grabbed the bottle of tequila and asked her "Do you want me to pour it in your mouth Senior Frogs style or would you like a glass?

 

[ElAzul]

Lol the Mrs. and I were kinda arguing about something in the store the other day a bunch of Karen's were circling around to listen in. My next line to Natalie was "well while we are being honest I'm not entirely sure the baby is even yores" as he sat in our shopping cart and just walked away. One of the dumb bitches started to stealth record my toxic masculinity and was fucking fuming lol

 

[WhatExit?]

 

[WhatExit?]

Wife: I'll give my old clothes to the poor and starving people
Husband: If they can fit in them they are not starving



She said: Are you even listening to me? This is important!
I said: I don't know; pizza

 

[SoCalDave]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

 

[SoCalDave]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the chevelle, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

 

[SoCalDave]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the

boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential

downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather

would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;

now with a different anticipation,

and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 35 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

 

[Boatymcboatface]

Wife asked me if she died before me would I get remarried I said

“Hell no I'm not making that mistake again!”

 

[WhatExit?]

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

Vin posted this - #20 above

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the chevelle, the boat,

making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing

scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into

the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the

grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Vin posted this - #22 above