Well Boyz and Girls time to open up a new chapter.. I'm officially ORDAINED!

[RiverDave]

So as it turns out a certain "Friend of Ours" (as Tony would say it) is getting married next week or so.. and it just so happens that because I introduced the lucky couple the wife damn near insisted that Marry them! So I went through the training, I studied hard, I passed the test... and I got Ordained online! (It was a hard 30 seconds + a credit card... but I managed through it) .

My entire wedding kit will be here in 3 days, and after this first go around here... I'll be available for Weddings / Bar Mitzvahs / Birthdays... and yes I'm going to extend my services to special anniversaries, renewing of vows... Hell we could do Serenading table side (requires a 3 piece mariachi band with a singer.. I just kinda hum along, but am good with preparing table side guacamole) if that's what the night requires?

Anyhow.. prices vary depending upon experience desired. Ranges from 18 pack of coorslight for special candle light moment, to 30 pack for table side guacamole, all the way up to 3500.00 for a ceremony! (includes rdp shirts for bride and groom & kid ring bearer! (kid shirt only If necessary, I have kids that can perform the task free of charge).


Either way guys.. We hit another level tonight.. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself just crossed another one of those invisible lines that high school guidance councilor never saw coming!




By the way I'm serious on events.. Now that I'm legit I'm a straight hooker for hire..


RD

 

[copterzach]

Good to know. My brother in law did the same thing. He married my wife and I.


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[Danger Dave]

You should start a church, lot of money in religion.

 

[Loony Toon]

 

[Javajoe]

Very cool Dave!!!
My buddy just got ordained and married us in Vegas in Caesar’s Palace pool. His shirt says...Relax...The Minister is here lol

 

[OLDRAAT]

Reverend Dave's Place.
Gawd help us all

 

[Riverfamlee]

I take it you won’t be doing any morning events

Marriage Certificates arrive in 2 weeks

 

[RitcheyRch]

I did the same thing back when J***y was on here talking about his bibles for strippers deal.

So as it turns out a certain "Friend of Ours" (as Tony would say it) is getting married next week or so.. and it just so happens that because I introduced the lucky couple the wife damn near insisted that Marry them! So I went through the training, I studied hard, I passed the test... and I got Ordained online! (It was a hard 30 seconds + a credit card... but I managed through it) .

My entire wedding kit will be here in 3 days, and after this first go around here... I'll be available for Weddings / Bar Mitzvahs / Birthdays... and yes I'm going to extend my services to special anniversaries, renewing of vows... Hell we could do Serenading table side (requires a 3 piece mariachi band with a singer.. I just kinda hum along, but am good with preparing table side guacamole) if that's what the night requires?

Anyhow.. prices vary depending upon experience desired. Ranges from 18 pack of coorslight for special candle light moment, to 30 pack for table side guacamole, all the way up to 3500.00 for a ceremony! (includes rdp shirts for bride and groom & kid ring bearer! (kid shirt only If necessary, I have kids that can perform the task free of charge).


Either way guys.. We hit another level tonight.. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself just crossed another one of those invisible lines that high school guidance councilor never saw coming!




By the way I'm serious on events.. Now that I'm legit I'm a straight hooker for hire..


RD

 

[RiverDave]

You should start a church, lot of money in religion.

Strangely we had a friend telling us that tonight (way before I got ordained.. the wife doesn't even know I completed that task yet.. LOL).

But starting a church.. the tax implications / write offs alone? Can you imagine joining the church of rdp and making charitable (non taxable contributions) and then us teaching your kids how to xyz with a free lesson plan?

I'm starting to see how these people are printing money and having their own planes.. and I'm starting to see "why" others are donating.

RD

 

[RiverDave]

I take it you won’t be doing any morning events

Marriage Certificates arrive in 2 weeks

2 days.. and it's 6:42 am and I'm in my prime..

RD

 

[RiverDave]

I did the same thing back when J***y was on here talking about his bibles for strippers deal.

Don't sour my positive religious experience with Lucifer himself.. please?

RD

 

[LHCBOY]

Did you step up and pay the extra fee for the clergy parking sticker?


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[DMF]

2 days.. and it's 6:42 am and I'm in my prime..

RD

Haha....it's actually 5:42am. I'd say you are past your prime.

 

[RitcheyRch]

So sorry. Congrats on being ordained. I left my plaque at work and hope no one took it during the covid shutdown.

I still have this wallet card that I need to get revised with my new address.

Welcome, Richard Bardin, to the congregation of the Universal Life Church. As of 06/18/2008 you are now an ordained minister.

Don't sour my positive religious experience with Lucifer himself.. please?

RD

 

[coz]

So as it turns out a certain "Friend of Ours" (as Tony would say it) is getting married next week or so.. and it just so happens that because I introduced the lucky couple the wife damn near insisted that Marry them! So I went through the training, I studied hard, I passed the test... and I got Ordained online! (It was a hard 30 seconds + a credit card... but I managed through it) .

My entire wedding kit will be here in 3 days, and after this first go around here... I'll be available for Weddings / Bar Mitzvahs / Birthdays... and yes I'm going to extend my services to special anniversaries, renewing of vows... Hell we could do Serenading table side (requires a 3 piece mariachi band with a singer.. I just kinda hum along, but am good with preparing table side guacamole) if that's what the night requires?

Anyhow.. prices vary depending upon experience desired. Ranges from 18 pack of coorslight for special candle light moment, to 30 pack for table side guacamole, all the way up to 3500.00 for a ceremony! (includes rdp shirts for bride and groom & kid ring bearer! (kid shirt only If necessary, I have kids that can perform the task free of charge).


Either way guys.. We hit another level tonight.. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself just crossed another one of those invisible lines that high school guidance councilor never saw coming!




By the way I'm serious on events.. Now that I'm legit I'm a straight hooker for hire..


RD

My son inlaw did the sane thing and managed to work a couple fireball shots into the serman for my sons wedding, he did a great job. Good luck Dave.

 

[cole_skier]

Our son did the same online thing and then performed the ceremony for our daughters wedding. Pretty special day.


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[RiverDave]

Haha....it's actually 5:42am. I'd say you are past your prime.

Was just going off what my computer said.. LOL

RD

 

[RiverDave]

Did you step up and pay the extra fee for the clergy parking sticker?


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Does the pop wear a funny hat? I got the all in package buddy..

RD

 

[RitcheyRch]

RD needs to order this:

Premium Minister Robe

Premium minister robes are tailored with black or white velvet trim, cuffed sleeves, and fluting across the shoulders. Perfect for any type of ceremony.

www.themonastery.org

 

[Rayson1971]

The ozarks tv show the guy was doing church service on the water. Right up your alley minus the heroine distribution though. Unless you're into that.

 

[RiverDave]

The ozarks tv show the guy was doing church service on the water. Right up your alley minus the heroine distribution though. Unless you're into that.

its a decent side income.. I’m not a sucker like that guy.

 

[RiverDave]

RD needs to order this:

Premium Minister Robe

Premium minister robes are tailored with black or white velvet trim, cuffed sleeves, and fluting across the shoulders. Perfect for any type of ceremony.

www.themonastery.org

no tiger print.. I’m out.

 

[throttle]

Looks like grads hacked RD’s account. Lol.

You too, can be married in two weeks

Good stuff Dave.


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[monkeyswrench]

I may be a mercanary mechanic...

But Dave just called himself a straight up "hooker for hire".

That is not what I want to see...Dave in a mini-skirt, heels and tube top

 

[TrollerDave]

Are you putting in a window at the RDP office for drive thru weddings?

“Yeah, I’ll have 2 red blower shirts, a RDP straw hat, 2 blue RD SUX stickers, and an order of wedding nuptials.”

 

[OLDRAAT]

Are you putting in a window at the RDP office for drive thru weddings?

“Yeah, I’ll have 2 red blower shirts, a RDP straw hat, 2 blue RD SUX stickers, and an order of wedding nuptials.”

..oh, and a 30 pack of Coors Light

 

[Dana757]

LOL that’s awesome on a new level.

 

[TrollerDave]

..oh, and a 30 pack of Coors Light

“ Let no man tear apart, what White Claw and a deck boat have brought together”

 

[Gelcoater]

Reverend Dave's Place.
Gawd help us all

 

[Gelcoater]

Don't sour my positive religious experience with Lucifer himself.. please?

RD

Lucifer himself is no match.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Please tell me the Holy Water doesn't come from the channel!

 

[ElAzul]

Welcome to the club I myself have been a "man of the cloth" for a couple years now

 

[Danger Dave]

Strangely we had a friend telling us that tonight (way before I got ordained.. the wife doesn't even know I completed that task yet.. LOL).

But starting a church.. the tax implications / write offs alone? Can you imagine joining the church of rdp and making charitable (non taxable contributions) and then us teaching your kids how to xyz with a free lesson plan?

I'm starting to see how these people are printing money and having their own planes.. and I'm starting to see "why" others are donating.

RD

I went to High School with a kid who came from a pretty religious family, he wasn't to into it when I knew him. This kid went to Point Loma Nazarene University and his major was something along the lines of Evangelism. He has his own church in TX, has had it for a few years now. Lives on a lake, all the trappings of success except a plane. It's amazing the amount of money churches can generate.

 

[KevinR]

Congrats Dave. Wait until you perform the marriage ceremony. It’s really awesome.

Married our daughter after walking her to the alter on Aug 1.

 

[Motor Boater]

When I got ordained and married my neighbor they sent me all sorts of certificates, official cards but the best was I got a Clergy parking pass.

 

[RCDave]

Dont forget to tell the lucky couple, "now consumate the marriage!

 

[DrunkenSailor]

I'm an ordained dudest priest in the church of dudeism. Smoke am if ya got em.

What is Dudeism? - Dudeism

While Dudeism in its official form has been organized as a religion only recently, it has existed down through the ages in one form or another. Probably the

dudeism.com

 

[RitcheyRch]

I received all that as well.

When I got ordained and married my neighbor they sent me all sorts of certificates, official cards but the best was I got a Clergy parking pass.

 

[buck35]

Welcome to the club I myself have been a "man of the cloth" for a couple years now

Do you just change you're sig line to marriage is kind of like...lol

 

[$hot]

Fuck the weddings, you need a drive by confession service on the side of the road leaving the river!

 

[DaveC]

Reverend RD. Can I get an amen brothers and sisters

Now I knew we were all going to hell before all this but now I know for sure.

 

[28Eliminator]

Well thats it... 2020 is officially the weirdest year ever

 

[DaveC]

Excellent idea. But the line would be so long it would impede traffic. lots of sinning in that town

Fuck the weddings, you need a drive by confession service on the side of the road leaving the river!

 

[TomD]

Bless you my son!!!!

 

[Jed-O]

@RiverDave will you do a simple ceremony without the marriage license and signed paperwork? I love Angela, but I'm never going through that other bullshit again. The government should have nothing to do with what I decide to do under the terms of God.

 

[RitcheyRch]

AMEN

Bless you my son!!!!

 

[Spudsbud]

View attachment 918289

LMAO......
God help us..

 

[riverroyal]

Close the loop Dave. Get your marriage therapy cert and divorce mediation license.
you have 1/3 of a full Monty now.

 

[Bails]

I've officiated 3 or 4 weddings. I usually start out with the Princess Bride ceremony without the lisp. Some people get it and some are none the wiser. I also like the line, "may all your ups and downs be in the bedroom".

 

[C08H18]

@RiverDave Is there a Can Am popemobile in the works for ceremonies @ DesertBar or BunkerBar?