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Excuses to get out of work.........just when you thought you heard it all

liquid addiction

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Had a lady come in late for work this morning. She told me her pet pig got stuck in a fence and she had to call the Fire Dept. For fuks sake she lives in an apartment. It gets better though.

I have a new kid working for me, early 20's. (I understand this job is not for everybody. Its production work.) After lunch he comes and tells my office manager that he needs to go home. (I was not in the office) She asked what is wrong. He tells her a pincher bug crawled up his leg and pinched him in his "private parts", he said it was bleeding. I have never saw a pincher bug here. I told her that we will need to fill out a lost time injury report and need a full report describing the injury.

I am sure there will be plenty more excuses coming, but this one is at the top of my list after 25 years running the company.
 

Riverfamlee

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Way back when I was a direct supervisor I would write up a call in status report so they could sign off when they returned. I would always write down exactly what I was told lol. They used to hate that.

“Called in sick had diarrhea”

“called in sick , thought his was wife was cheating and couldn’t focus “. Etc etc 😂😂


The good ole days. I do miss them.
 

was thatguy

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Nordie

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I would have to go through my work phone, anymore I get texts that are literally novels. I just don't respond to them anymore.

I remember having a hard headed foreman that if you showed up late he would make a scene expecting some great excuse or story. Well one day I was late and he's doing is barking. I said, "Tom I was fucking sleeping". Okay get to work.
 

Nordie

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Working on roofs, had to time that "shit"...3 ladders, hazardous materials, open flames...just to get to the "shit sauna" blue box on the ground.
Like Indiana Jones meets China Buffet!

Nope there is absolutely nothing worse on the planet than working on a high rise. The crappers have an open top, and you can be in there doing your thing, all the while there's a urinal on the backside of the crapper, when someone walks up behind you and is pissing in it. Talk about uncomfortable
 

monkeyswrench

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Nope there is absolutely nothing worse on the planet than working on a high rise. The crappers have an open top, and you can be in there doing your thing, all the while there's a urinal on the backside of the crapper, when someone walks up behind you and is pissing in it. Talk about uncomfortable
Uncomfortable is trying to explain why you need to hose off your 50$ Eastwing hammer :oops: Spare in the truck after that!

Gotta pay attention to your bags even in a hurry!
 

beertruck

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our employees now just call and say they aren't coming in. They know we can't do anything about it as we are down 20-25% staffing levels and can't discipline them.
One day we will be fully staffed again, and these call outs won't be forgotten.
 

Ultra...Good

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Had a guy tell us he shit himself at work and that's why he wasn't where he was supposed to be, he went home to change.

Seen this happen to our shift foreman. He was new to the shift, new to the area, transferred in from NJ. It was a 24hr plant, 3 on, 3 off 7to7. I was on a night shift and we always had a nesco with something to eat at a minimum. The new foreman was beside himself with the food we had. He ate like everybody else did, and went about the night. He had to go check on something a ways away from a b room, and could not make it back in time.

He told us before he left, and he came right back. Felt bad for the guy. Was the only boss at that place that i liked or respected.
 

Baja 252

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20 years ago, I had a 32 yr old female come in my office and tell me her son was sick and she needed to leave to pick him up from school. As a manager I hated it when that happens, but what are you going to do.
Two years later my wife passed away, three years after that I remarried this same female employee. About a year into the marrage I find out she lied that day and was playing golf with some guy!! I have lots of fun holding this over her head every chance I get.
 

Cobalt232

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We finally let go of a guy who called out about 1/2 the time for either Friday or Monday. We have another lady that has already been out 19 days so far this year...

I've posted it here before, but the best reason we ever had was for when an employee left early because his 'feet were cold'. We work inside in a lab.
 

Nordie

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Uncomfortable is trying to explain why you need to hose off your 50$ Eastwing hammer :oops: Spare in the truck after that!

Gotta pay attention to your bags even in a hurry!

My bags and belt go home with me every night. I do have a weird infatuation with buying hammers though. I need a 24 oz, I need a 16 oz...I have a collection
 

endobear

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Had a dude tell me he was going to be late the following day because he had a job interview. While I did appreciate his honesty, I let him go on the spot. He was on thin ice to begin with.
Heard so many. Painters are the worst.
 

monkeyswrench

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My bags and belt go home with me every night. I do have a weird infatuation with buying hammers though. I need a 24 oz, I need a 16 oz...I have a collection
Belt and hammer always came home.
As for hammers, damn, don't know how many claw or hatchets I have left...but now I have ball peen, single jack, slap hammers and a bunch of weird crap for metal work!
 

traquer

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I remember when I was working for some company and went to Willow Springs to go racing. It was past 8 oclock and the track was hot with the first group out on the track. I drove my truck all the way far back to the edge of the racetrack property as I could so the noise wasn't so loud lol. Then I hung my head down the side of the seat upside down so I sounded all jacked up. Used that trick a few times!!

I also always had a mind for hiding mischief in clever ways. When I was like 10 or so we were in Laughlin and found a box of cigarettes with my buddy and we went out on the jet skis and smoked them in private throughout the day. We then took the effort to take a dip in the water to wash off the smell, and we even opened the gas caps and washed our hands with gas. Never got caught!!
 

BHC Vic

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Sometimes I’m nice, sometimes I’m mean, sometimes I don’t respond. Mostly I don’t respond as you can see by the unread messages. The guy that got done with the cops drove off at the gas station with the pump still in his car. The best was an apprentice who’s wife went through his phone when he was in the shower. He said that she made him eat the starfish before he could leave. 😂
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calkid

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Doing a project in downtown San Bernardino in the late 80's. Start time is 7:00 and a new hire Carpenter walks in a few minutes after, proceeds to tell me he needs to go home "a little early today". When I asked him what time he says around 8:00, seriously.......why the fuck did you even come in!
 

707dog

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2 kinds of people, those who have shit their pants, and those who lie about it.
lmao... working on a Coker unit for a turnaround we were hiking up to the upper deck my Forman stops me 3/4 of the way up says ow fuck Anthony, I'm thinking we forget tools or something... he starts pacing fuck, fuck ,fuck... looks at me and says please walk away I'm thinking what the hell. no chance he was not making it back down that Coker to the blue lagoon in time. crapped his self rockstars and breakfast burrito sank his battleship. i covered for him but he rolled out and went home to change came back and finished of that shift.
 

Nordie

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Sometimes I’m nice, sometimes I’m mean, sometimes I don’t respond. Mostly I don’t respond as you can see by the unread messages. The guy that got done with the cops drove off at the gas station with the pump still in his car. The best was an apprentice who’s wife went through his phone when he was in the shower. He said that she made him eat the starfish before he could leave. 😂
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You don't write them up when they're drinking beer in the parking lot do you?
 

Ace in the Hole

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If work construction long enough.😁

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time

I have a pile of good ones from when I ran a construction firm in HI but 3 stick out.

Kawika..guy is by far one of the best granite/quartz fabricators I've ever met..but he is the biggest common sense idiot you will ever meet. Needed specific instructions for everything with zero details left out..regardless of how common sense they may be. His g/f aka baby momma was a control freak (full on Tita if you know what that means). He got paid every Friday like everyone else...but never had any money on him (she had it). Guy legit called in more than once stuck on the side of H1 out of freaking gas...because he forgot to get money from her to put gas, and he thought he could make it. He works for a buddy of mine now..they gave him a work truck with a gas card..solved that.

Jerry..I couldn't say his legal name if I tried...Micro guy was about 60 and did basic labor for us. He rode the bus from Waianae every day to town (for reference that's a 90-120min ride depending on traffic each way). He got picked up from our storage warehouse by whatever guys he was working with that day.. He pooped on company time every single day that I can think of...never called in sick once though. Had to have a discussion with him about dropping a duke in a 17 million dollar home though... :oops: 🤦‍♂️

At least 10 call in's a year were "my car/moped got stolen"

At least that many in the winter time, hey boss can we go late bc xxx beach is crankin this morning (I got those texts usually around 5 am for a 7am start).

Wayne called in roughly 50% of all Mondays. He worked his ass off though and always made up the hours..we just stoped scheduling him for stuff on most Mondays unless it was something I specifically needed him for. He liked the green bottles and poke a bit much Pau Hana..miss that guy, he had the best pidgin one liners, and took no shit from anyone. If a client or whatever talked down to him, he just packed up.

Labor market it rough in Hawaii so you have to deal with some shit in the 20-35$ wage rage.
 

Ace in the Hole

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You don't write them up when they're drinking beer in the parking lot do you?

We did a very large university housing project about 4 years ago. Multimillion remodel deal... Fridays after 330 is their time. Most of the guys would crack a beer and talk story for a bit and then head out...they were parked off site on street parking. An old lady Karen math professor filed a formal complaint with the university, the police, and my parent company over it. I was there the next Friday with a BBQ grill and cooler of beer. Fuck people like that.
 

monkeyswrench

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We did a very large university housing project about 4 years ago. Multimillion remodel deal... Fridays after 330 is their time. Most of the guys would crack a beer and talk story for a bit and then head out...they were parked off site on street parking. An old lady Karen math professor filed a formal complaint with the university, the police, and my parent company over it. I was there the next Friday with a BBQ grill and cooler of beer. Fuck people like that.
Beers in a glove, also learned how to trim Monster cans into sleeves for tall boys...
I hear jobsites aren't as much fun anymore.
 

500bbc

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Best excuse from.me and my coworkers"
:
You meet us in your bar on Thursday after work , buy us as many drinks as we want , pay us in cash and there is a strip club across the street. My coworkers were 1% bikers.
No one ever showed on Fridays. :)
 
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Nordie

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We did a very large university housing project about 4 years ago. Multimillion remodel deal... Fridays after 330 is their time. Most of the guys would crack a beer and talk story for a bit and then head out...they were parked off site on street parking. An old lady Karen math professor filed a formal complaint with the university, the police, and my parent company over it. I was there the next Friday with a BBQ grill and cooler of beer. Fuck people like that.

Sometimes allegedly we talk about it, we might have top off parties for large achievements where a celebration may or may not happen. Karen can go, well you know...

I work with a lot of Hawaiians, so when you said, "talk story" I read it in pigeon.
 

gqchris

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Every time one of my people calls out unexcused and I call them out on their shit, I get accused of being a racist when they are disciplined. I spend my whole life fighting lawsuits in HR. Its fucking pathetic.
 

was thatguy

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My wife says it’s some kind of disorder. Really, she’s concerned about it 🤷‍♂️

Well, in the time I’ve followed you on here I’ve never known her to be wrong...lol
Looks like you’re a couple IOS updates behind as well.
 

LazyLavey

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I have a new kid working for me, early 20's. (I understand this job is not for everybody. Its production work.) After lunch he comes and tells my office manager that he needs to go home. (I was not in the office) She asked what is wrong. He tells her a pincher bug crawled up his leg and pinched him in his "private parts", he said it was bleeding. I have never saw a pincher bug here. I told her that we will need to fill out a lost time injury report and need a full report describing the injury.
Sure it wasn't a spider??

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elco

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A few weeks ago i had a guy call off because his newborn poked him in the eye the night before. Thought i had heard everything before that.
 

RitcheyRch

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Had a young coworker call in sick saying his brake lights didn't work on his car and he was afraid of getting in an accident.
 

LuauLounge

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I called in once, it was high tide and I couldn’t fit under the bridge. Tied up at the local bar and spent the night.
 
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