So I Booted My Neighbor Out Of My House

[Desert Whaler]

Gotta back story it a little for perspective.
I've know this lady & her husband for some 40+ years . . . crazy as they come, you've NEVER met anyone like her OR her husband TOTAL nut jobs.

Case in point, a few months back around 3:00 am . . . I get her knocking and yelling at my door . . . I wake up, run downstairs, open the door and she says there's someone in her house trying to stab her with a knife. I realize she's sleep walking ! Then she asks me if she can use the can to go pee . . . I say go right ahead ! . . . doesn't even shut the door and just cops a squat ! Lol . . . then she comes out and I walk her back across the street and I ask her if she's good to go back inside. They are jewish and pretty paranoid about home security, and I know he has a .357 he totes around from time to time, so no way am I going inside. She goes inside, shuts the door and all is well. She came over the next day, and asked if she had come over, I said, "Yep, and you even took a leak"! She was so embarrassed, I guess she forgot to apologize , LOL , whatever.

So I come home a couple nights ago, and she's in the house barking about some non-sense to my old man, who's she kinda 'cornered' cause he's the only one who will listen / tolerate her non-sense. I say 'Hello' and she gives me some snarky comment like I'm interrupting her conversation. so she eventually gets up to leave, and sure as shit, she starts in on me with the whole Covi-Vaccine Mandate shit . . . (I got vaxed against my wishes but more for my Dad who's 89) . . . so I'm stupid enough to take her bait & I drop the "Look I don't give a shit who's vax'd and who isn't, but forcing people is straight bullshit" which just sets her off. . . somewhere in her tirade she double-speaks & I call it on her and she comes completely UNGLUED ! Starts yelling at me and trying to 'High Horse' me like I'm inferior, less educated, don't know what the F I'm talking about, and beneath her etc. etc.
I stopped and said "woh woh woh woh woh woh . . . hold up right there" . . . she finally stopped and I said, "Look behind you, see that door??? ... USE IT " . . . talk about someone storming off stomping their feet !!!!

Might of been a bit harsh . . . but I'm sick of all the non-sense and don't appreciate people coming into MY house and trying to give ME a tune-up . . . let alone using my old man as a sounding board for all your woh's in life, especially when he don't wanna hear it either !
By way of comparison, I haven't been to their house, let alone inside it in probably 10+ years, I keep to my side of the street, however they'll barge right in mine anytime they please.
So I guess this covid crap made me crack a little bit too . . . oh well, we're only human.

 

[coolchange]

Probably on the Ambien

 

[Boat 405]

Why let someone like that in your house in the first place?

 

[DILLIGAF]

No way I would remotely put up with that crazy bat shit stuff

 

[Sleek-Jet]

Is she hot?

 

[SBMech]

Get a restraining order. That shit ain't getting better.

 

[Desert Whaler]

Is she hot?

Quite the opposite. LOL.

 

[ka0tyk]

Hook the sprinklers to your ring camera next time she comes over at least she'll get a free shower.

 

[RVR SWPR]

WTF does Jewish have to do with carrying? Sounds like husband has his shit together.

 

[4Waters]

Quite the opposite. LOL.

IDK why but I'm picturing her at about 5'5" and 270ish

 

[paradise]

WTF does Jewish have to do with carrying? Sounds like husband has his shit together.

 

[COCA COLA COWBOY]

Just scream at her across the street and say you have COVID and don't want her to die so she better stay away.

I let my kid ride his dirt bike on the street from time to time to warm up the oil to change it or when I'm throwing it on the trailer to take him to the track. We have our own nut job that runs out with her mask on every time a bike starts up and screams about the noise. I just always scream back at her that she needs to stay away or she's going to get COVID and die from us. She hasn't come out and screamed in a few months so I think we are pretty good now. There is definitely a mental stability problem in Southern California these days. I have always had at least one nutty neighbor for the last 15 years. When we lived close to the beach, I had a crazy liberal that would run out front with kitty litter every time I changed the oil...she would scream about how I was killing the dolphins.

 

[Outdrive1]

You’ve know this lady for 40 plus years…. Sounds like you’re all a bunch of old farts arguing about shit you have no control over. Don’t any of you guys own a tv?

 

[HALLETT BOY]

WTF does Jewish have to do with carrying? Sounds like husband has his shit together.

 

[Desert Whaler]

IDK why but I'm picturing her at about 5'5" and 270ish

Winner Winner !

 

[Desert Whaler]

WTF does Jewish have to do with carrying? Sounds like husband has his shit together.

Nothing, other than being paranoid of Panzer tanks rolling down our street w/ knocks on the door demanding 'papers'.

 

[Bails]

@Desert Whaler is a woman???

 

[OLDRAAT]

He's probably just carrying so he can shoot hisself when he finally get enough of her...

 

[Spudsbud]

Never argue with an ignorant person. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you to death with experience

 

[Wheeler]

@Desert Whaler is a woman ???

Now that we know do we have to be nice to her?

When she was a he, ya know before the sex change, I kinda thought he was a dick.

 

[Bails]

Now that we know do we have to be nice to her?

When she was a he, ya know before the sex change, I kinda thought he was a dick.

I guess I could be jumping to conclusions. It could be a gay guy.

 

[Wheeler]

I guess I could be jumping to conclusions. It could be a gay guy.

Grads should be here for the unveiling.

 

[ElAzul]

WTF does Jewish have to do with carrying? Sounds like husband has his shit together.

He'd probably pull the .357 before handing over his pocket change

 

[lbhsbz]

Just scream at her across the street and say you have COVID and don't want her to die so she better stay away.

I let my kid ride his dirt bike on the street from time to time to warm up the oil to change it or when I'm throwing it on the trailer to take him to the track. We have our own nut job that runs out with her mask on every time a bike starts up and screams about the noise. I just always scream back at her that she needs to stay away or she's going to get COVID and die from us. She hasn't come out and screamed in a few months so I think we are pretty good now. There is definitely a mental stability problem in Southern California these days. I have always had at least one nutty neighbor for the last 15 years. When we lived close to the beach, I had a crazy liberal that would run out front with kitty litter every time I changed the oil...she would scream about how I was killing the dolphins.

We need a nutjob neighbor thread.....

Mine stands out side in rain boots, a parka with the hood on, a mask and ski goggles and throws rocks on her roof because she thinks someone is walking around on her roof at night and she thinks throwing rocks up there will stop it. Also, her grass is mostly dead, but she stands in the parkway dirt with a hose and waters the street.

 

[DLow]

Nothing, other than being paranoid of Panzer tanks rolling down our street w/ knocks on the door demanding 'papers'.

Wow! You must all be really, really…

Really old!

 

[RVR SWPR]

He'd probably pull the .357 before handing over his pocket change

 

[cofooter]

Probably on the Ambien

My ex took Ambien, that shit makes people fruit loops. Part of why she became my ex.

 

[rmarion]

D.W.

Hey Lucy... you got sum xplaining to do...

LOL

 

[spectra3279]

We need a nutjob neighbor thread.....

Mine stands out side in rain boots, a parka with the hood on, a mask and ski goggles and throws rocks on her roof because she thinks someone is walking around on her roof at night and she thinks throwing rocks up there will stop it. Also, her grass is mostly dead, but she stands in the parkway dirt with a hose and waters the street.

That's methed up.

Has she vacuumed the grass/dirt yet?

 

[boatpi]

Make a hat out of aluminum foil an offer to her as a Christmas gift or better yet a Hanukkah gift.

 

[Instigator]

Maybe next time they come over, stop them at the door by saying "Whoa" rather the woh.
Works with horses anyways.
Lol

 

[Willie B]

Probably on the Ambien

… about 10 years ago I was over at a friends… We had been out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Chico…He was drinking so I drove the Escalade and he and his wife home to his place… He continued to drink Mexican beer… By the time I left he insisted that I take his prescription bottle full of Ambien with me… I have no idea why other than he was pretty buzzed from all the beer???… on my way out the back door I left the Ambien prescription on the washer in their laundry room…
He calls me the next day going Bill Bill… I can’t find my Ambien do you have any idea what I did with them..,I just laughed and said ask your wife… His wife tells him that he tried to give them to me when I was leaving… And at first he didn’t believe us… he finally went and looked in his medicine cabinet… And sure as shit his wife had put them right back where they belonged…
… in speaking with him over the last few days it sounds like he is having a problem with one of his doctors who thinks he is too old to be taking Ambien and some other medication???…The whole situation was and is a little odd… he is 78 1/2… I didn’t know there was an age cut off for sleeping pills???..,

 

[Angler]

Quite the opposite. LOL.

Call the Cops and say someone is breaking into your house.

 

[coolchange]

… about 10 years ago I was over at a friends… We had been out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Chico…He was drinking so I drove the Escalade and he and his wife home to his place… He continued to drink Mexican beer… By the time I left he insisted that I take his prescription bottle full of Ambien with me… I have no idea why other than he was pretty buzzed from all the beer???… on my way out the back door I left the Ambien prescription on the washer in their laundry room…
He calls me the next day going Bill Bill… I can’t find my Ambien do you have any idea what I did with them..,I just laughed and said ask your wife… His wife tells him that he tried to give them to me when I was leaving… And at first he didn’t believe us… he finally went and looked in his medicine cabinet… And sure as shit his wife had put them right back where they belonged…
… in speaking with him over the last few days it sounds like he is having a problem with one of his doctors who thinks he is too old to be taking Ambien and some other medication???…The whole situation was and is a little odd… he is 78 1/2… I didn’t know there was an age cut off for sleeping pills???..,

I think drinking and ambien would be pretty “ entertaining “ at best, catastrophic at worst.

 

[Jimmyv]

Just scream at her across the street and say you have COVID and don't want her to die so she better stay away.

I let my kid ride his dirt bike on the street from time to time to warm up the oil to change it or when I'm throwing it on the trailer to take him to the track. We have our own nut job that runs out with her mask on every time a bike starts up and screams about the noise. I just always scream back at her that she needs to stay away or she's going to get COVID and die from us. She hasn't come out and screamed in a few months so I think we are pretty good now. There is definitely a mental stability problem in Southern California these days. I have always had at least one nutty neighbor for the last 15 years. When we lived close to the beach, I had a crazy liberal that would run out front with kitty litter every time I changed the oil...she would scream about how I was killing the dolphins.

Not about COVID, but still crazy neighbors, and I read @COCA COLA COWBOY and laughed. We run a similar protocol here. In the days leading up to a trip, all bikes get started and run up and down the street as a part of prep.
I have a strict “if it don't hear it run right, doesn't get loaded up” rule.

Some neighbors have frowned on this. One is a Sheriffs ‘citizens patrol‘ volunteer (think old Karen in a ‘citizens patrol‘ wind breaker) who likes to run out and yell at them like she has some kind of authority - she doesn’t.

Street has changed over the years though and now when the kids fire up a bike and run it down the street my newest neighbor pulls out his to rides up and down the street with them

Keep the crazy at bay and you do you.

..

 

[rrrr]

My ex took Ambien, that shit makes people fruit loops. Part of why she became my ex.

I have a script for the stuff, but don't take it often. Like once every couple of months, when I'm exhausted and not sleeping well.

Last month was one of those times. I got up the next morning at 7:30 (I'm retired, I usually wake up at 9:30 ), was banging around the kitchen, and woke up my wife.

This was all told to me later that day, because I don't remember it. I was cooking two tubes of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls when she came in the kitchen, and I told her to shower and get dressed, because I had five friends coming over for breakfast. She asked me WTF I was talking about, and I gave her a long explanation about these friends, how I grew up with them and they were buddys for life.

She convinced me to go back to bed. I went to sleep and woke up a few hours later. Didn't have a clue that I had been acting the Ambien Zombie.

I don't think I'll be taking it again anytime soon.

 

[TrollerDave]

Gotta back story it a little for perspective.
I've know this lady & her husband for some 40+ years . . . crazy as they come, you've NEVER met anyone like her OR her husband TOTAL nut jobs.

Case in point, a few months back around 3:00 am . . . I get her knocking and yelling at my door . . . I wake up, run downstairs, open the door and she says there's someone in her house trying to stab her with a knife. I realize she's sleep walking ! Then she asks me if she can use the can to go pee . . . I say go right ahead ! . . . doesn't even shut the door and just cops a squat ! Lol . . . then she comes out and I walk her back across the street and I ask her if she's good to go back inside. They are jewish and pretty paranoid about home security, and I know he has a .357 he totes around from time to time, so no way am I going inside. She goes inside, shuts the door and all is well. She came over the next day, and asked if she had come over, I said, "Yep, and you even took a leak"! She was so embarrassed, I guess she forgot to apologize , LOL , whatever.

So I come home a couple nights ago, and she's in the house barking about some non-sense to my old man, who's she kinda 'cornered' cause he's the only one who will listen / tolerate her non-sense. I say 'Hello' and she gives me some snarky comment like I'm interrupting her conversation. so she eventually gets up to leave, and sure as shit, she starts in on me with the whole Covi-Vaccine Mandate shit . . . (I got vaxed against my wishes but more for my Dad who's 89) . . . so I'm stupid enough to take her bait & I drop the "Look I don't give a shit who's vax'd and who isn't, but forcing people is straight bullshit" which just sets her off. . . somewhere in her tirade she double-speaks & I call it on her and she comes completely UNGLUED ! Starts yelling at me and trying to 'High Horse' me like I'm inferior, less educated, don't know what the F I'm talking about, and beneath her etc. etc.
I stopped and said "woh woh woh woh woh woh . . . hold up right there" . . . she finally stopped and I said, "Look behind you, see that door??? ... USE IT " . . . talk about someone storming off stomping their feet !!!!

Might of been a bit harsh . . . but I'm sick of all the non-sense and don't appreciate people coming into MY house and trying to give ME a tune-up . . . let alone using my old man as a sounding board for all your woh's in life, especially when he don't wanna hear it either !
By way of comparison, I haven't been to their house, let alone inside it in probably 10+ years, I keep to my side of the street, however they'll barge right in mine anytime they please.
So I guess this covid crap made me crack a little bit too . . . oh well, we're only human.

Not harsh at all. Probably not harsh enough. She probably rolls over people like a truck all the time. It’ll do her good to hit a low bridge once in a while.

You said this was a couple of days ago. Have they not talked to you or your dad since?

 

[Nordie]

Winner Winner !

Does that mean you would still hit it?

 

[Desert Whaler]

Not harsh at all. Probably not harsh enough. She probably rolls over people like a truck all the time. It’ll do her good to hit a low bridge once in a while.

You said this was a couple of days ago. Have they not talked to you or your dad since?

You kinda nailed-it . . . yeah, it was kind of a 'Re-set' . . . nobody squares-up with them . . . they kinda "high-horse" you if you do . . . so we just all suck it up & laugh . . . I guess she caught me at 'moment' where i wasn't buying it . . . nice observation . . . .

 

[coolchange]

Not harsh at all. Probably not harsh enough. She probably rolls over people like a truck all the time. It’ll do her good to hit a low bridge once in a while.

You said this was a couple of days ago. Have they not talked to you or your dad since?

“Hit a low bridge once in a while”
Man that’s classic!

 

[Desert Whaler]

Does that mean you would still hit it?

noh

 

[Willie B]

See.

I think drinking and ambien would be pretty “ entertaining “ at best, catastrophic at worst.

… just got off the phone with my friend in Tucson… And told him that I had posted the story about him trying to give me his Ambien prescription… He is in total denial he is really pissed off essentially saying he would never do anything like that… Well his wife is asleep so we’re going to have a phone conversation about 2 PM tomorrow… His wife doesn’t take Ambien and I don’t think she drinks… She’s a smart cookie… Maybe she will remember this… Maybe she won’t ???…

 

[Brokeboatin221]

It’s o

Gotta back story it a little for perspective.
I've know this lady & her husband for some 40+ years . . . crazy as they come, you've NEVER met anyone like her OR her husband TOTAL nut jobs.

Case in point, a few months back around 3:00 am . . . I get her knocking and yelling at my door . . . I wake up, run downstairs, open the door and she says there's someone in her house trying to stab her with a knife. I realize she's sleep walking ! Then she asks me if she can use the can to go pee . . . I say go right ahead ! . . . doesn't even shut the door and just cops a squat ! Lol . . . then she comes out and I walk her back across the street and I ask her if she's good to go back inside. They are jewish and pretty paranoid about home security, and I know he has a .357 he totes around from time to time, so no way am I going inside. She goes inside, shuts the door and all is well. She came over the next day, and asked if she had come over, I said, "Yep, and you even took a leak"! She was so embarrassed, I guess she forgot to apologize , LOL , whatever.

So I come home a couple nights ago, and she's in the house barking about some non-sense to my old man, who's she kinda 'cornered' cause he's the only one who will listen / tolerate her non-sense. I say 'Hello' and she gives me some snarky comment like I'm interrupting her conversation. so she eventually gets up to leave, and sure as shit, she starts in on me with the whole Covi-Vaccine Mandate shit . . . (I got vaxed against my wishes but more for my Dad who's 89) . . . so I'm stupid enough to take her bait & I drop the "Look I don't give a shit who's vax'd and who isn't, but forcing people is straight bullshit" which just sets her off. . . somewhere in her tirade she double-speaks & I call it on her and she comes completely UNGLUED ! Starts yelling at me and trying to 'High Horse' me like I'm inferior, less educated, don't know what the F I'm talking about, and beneath her etc. etc.
I stopped and said "woh woh woh woh woh woh . . . hold up right there" . . . she finally stopped and I said, "Look behind you, see that door??? ... USE IT " . . . talk about someone storming off stomping their feet !!!!

Might of been a bit harsh . . . but I'm sick of all the non-sense and don't appreciate people coming into MY house and trying to give ME a tune-up . . . let alone using my old man as a sounding board for all your woh's in life, especially when he don't wanna hear it either !
By way of comparison, I haven't been to their house, let alone inside it in probably 10+ years, I keep to my side of the street, however they'll barge right in mine anytime they please.
So I guess this covid crap made me crack a little bit too . . . oh well, we're only huma

I feel your pain I have a neighbor that yelled at another for playing classical music middle
Of the day. She also loses her shit when my cummins idles for more than 10mins, I almost think she has an egg timer for my truck. Last time she came down I lost my shit and went off on her and haven’t seen her since life is good! This lady bitched about my Christmas lights being to bright last year and my bbq making to much smoke . My 9yr old daughter calls her Debbie decibel

 

[Desert Whaler]

It’s o

I feel your pain I have a neighbor that yelled at another for playing classical music middle
Of the day. She also loses her shit when my cummins idles for more than 10mins, I almost think she has an egg timer for my truck. Last time she came down I lost my shit and went off on her and haven’t seen her since life is good! This lady bitched about my Christmas lights being to bright last year and my bbq making to much smoke . My 9yr old daughter calls her Debbie decibel

. . . that's a good one !!! sounds like a real peach ! LOL . . . this lady's stories go a mile long . . . like the time her husband had sceduled their house to be re-roofed and she forgot they were coming to start work . . . she took off for a walk in the morning and when she returned the demo-truck had backed-in to their driveway with 10 dudes on the roof ripping off their shingles and tossing them in the bed . . . . she rounds the corner and went COMPLETE BLUTO !!!! . . . screaming at the top of her lungs 'GEEETTT OFFFF MYYYYY ROOOOFFFF'!!!!! . . . . then collapsed on her lawn and broke down in tears crying . . . complete melt down.
. . . or the time about 20 years ago I did a full custom remodel in their master bathroom . . . fully floated giant master shower, all trick tile, recessed soap niches, bench, windows etc. etc. . . . . a few days later she comes pounding on my door . . . . screaming again at the top of her lungs, "THE SHOWER VALVE IS LEAKING IN THE BATHROOM !!!!! . . . I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED YOUR PLUMBER . . . I NEVER LIKED THAT GUY FROM THE START'!!!!!!!! . . . . so i go over there, open up the access panel . . . everything is bone dry, perfect . . . I do the 'screwdriver to the ear' trick to listen for running water . . . turns out there was a slab leak . . . on the OPPOSITE side of the house !!!!! . . . . no apologies, nuthin . . . that was the last time I ever did any work for them.
Psychos.

 

[coolchange]

See.

… just got off the phone with my friend in Tucson… And told him that I had posted the story about him trying to give me his Ambien prescription… He is in total denial he is really pissed off essentially saying he would never do anything like that… Well his wife is asleep so we’re going to have a phone conversation about 2 PM tomorrow… His wife doesn’t take Ambien and I don’t think she drinks… She’s a smart cookie… Maybe she will remember this… Maybe she won’t ???…

Pretty hard for someone that drinks and takes Ambien to make a case about anything

 

[j21black]

 

[Groper]

Is she hot?

Haha my first thought also but she's probably Hairy

 

[Joe mama]

The next day I would have said thanks for the blow job.

 

[brgrcru]

hmmm, I never thought you guys all live in a trailer park.

 

[Desert Whaler]

hmmm, I never thought you guys all live in a trailer park.

kinda wish I did at times . . . so it'd make sense.