WELCOME TO RIVER DAVES PLACE

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RitcheyRch

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Dog

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A rookie police officer pulled me over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Me: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Me: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Me: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Me: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Me: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. I was then quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached me to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Me: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Me: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Me: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Me: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Me: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
 

Dog

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Up for RENT :
$1457 a month, $1457 deposit and must make 5 times the rent a month.
This beautiful luxury single wide is located on its own 1/4 acre. 3 bedrooms and 1 and 1/2 bath. Beautiful view. Freshly renovated. All appliances included. Water included with outside well pump. Must pump your own water and bring it in.
APPLICATION FEE: $150 per applicant.
NO pets
NO criminal history
Must provide drug test at signing of lease.
MUST do credit check
Must have college degree
NO kids
NO adults
SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY
 
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