Chuck Norris

[Gelcoater]

Apparently the Grim Reaper is still afraid of him.
That is all

 

[Ace in the Hole]

You made my heart sink for a minute there lol

 

[Gelcoater]

You made my heart sink for a minute there lol

 

[MOUZER]

he used to run a karate studio in anaheim next to little vinnys market on knott ave when i was a kid we lived across the street

 

[Skinny Tire AH]

The Bogeyman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

 

[Gelcoater]

The Bogeyman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Sharks have Chuck Norris week

 

[Skinny Tire AH]

Sharks have Chuck Norris week

Aaaaanndd we’re off.

 

[Gelcoater]

Aaaaanndd we’re off.

We were off from post 1

I heard Chuck died several years ago.
The Grim Reaper is still afraid to approach him about it.

And, the Grim Reaper has been waiting for him since the day he was born.
And on that day the only person that cried was the doctor.
Because no one slaps Chuck Norris.

 

[DLow]

Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups. He pushes the earth down.

 

[WhatExit?]

Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.

​

 

[The Prisoner]

1. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
2. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
3. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
4. Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.
5. In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
6. When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck said, “Say Please.”
7. Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
8. If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
9. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
10. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
11. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
12. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
13. Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
14. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
15. Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
16. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
17. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
18. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
19. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull.
20. If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.

 

[Willie B]

… I have posted this before but… I was out drinking with my Newport Beach girlfriend and all of her friends who I really did not know… We went into this restaurant that I found out later was owned by Chuck Norris‘s wife… I sat at the bar by myself while my girlfriend and all of her friends yaked it up over cocktails… At some point in time a guy came out of the kitchen and tells all of the people sitting at this table that it was time to go and I thought cool …I was kind of tired…so I’m sitting at the bar and the guy comes up to me and said we’re closed now and he just stared holes through me…I’m thinking that’s kind of weird … I had a few cocktails in me …I walked outside with my girlfriend and thought that I left my wallet on the bar …and told the guy who starred holes through me …I think I left my wallet on the bar …he goes no you didn’t …and we’re closed … So my girlfriend and I get out to the car by then I am fuming… So I tell my girlfriend something to the effect of I need to go talk to that guy… Which is probably not what I said at all… My girlfriend grabs me and goes do you know who that is???…and I said I don’t know…she tells me thats Chuck Norris … Whoops ???

… that could’ve turned out very badly???…

 

[Shlbyntro]

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter

 

[Your ad here]

Chuck Norris didn't have a traditional birth. He punched his way out of the womb then shortly after grew a beard.

 

[Gelcoater]

Chuck Norris was once bit by a Cobra snake.
After 5 agonizing days, the snake died.

 

[Your ad here]

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice.

 

[highvoltagehands]

Chuck Norris has been honored with every lifetime achievement award in existence….Twice.

 

[mash on it]

[email protected]

Dan'l