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BTR

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My daughter is captain of her club soccer team. Starter. They suck. No one is all that dedicated other than her and the coach. She tried out for another team as it was uncertain her current team would continue another year. Well, she was accepted and they are a much higher level of competition. Now, her current coach wants to compete next year. Stay or go? She looked just fine with the new team but as the FNG, will have to earn a starter role. She is also very loyal and feels bad leaving her coach of the last few years that helped develop her. Next year she is a senior in high school. Life is short, I say go for it as it will make her a better player for next year’s varsity season which is where colleges scout from. Last year her high school coach reached out to a couple local schools to come check her out. Sounds like a no brainer for us adults but for a 16 year old this is a huge decision. I’m staying out of it saying I’ll support whatever she decides.
 

grumpy88

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Parents sometime need to parent . You can only direct your child at this age . If she is as good as you and a coach think she will play and progress . If she is not she will not play and how will that effect her ? Some play harder others get a bad attitude and find excuses . Just being out there she is already making the right decisions ! Great job
 

BTR

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Parents sometime need to parent . You can only direct your child at this age . If she is as good as you and a coach think she will play and progress . If she is not she will not play and how will that effect her ? Some play harder others get a bad attitude and find excuses . Just being out there she is already making the right decisions ! Great job
She’ll play, she’s good enough and I’m not being biased. But she is gonna have to earn it and kids these days don’t have a ton of patience. That is my concern; she’ll get frustrated. The ole interwebs have killed any form of patience in the younger generation.
 

monkeyswrench

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If your daughter is the competitive type, she will move teams. My wife was a freshman in high school, and had reached a point with her coach and team where she was stalled. She was the top swimmer for her group. She switched teams. New friends and a new coach. She was with that team when she was offered a couple of "full-rides", after coming back from pneumonia.
Better competition will push some kids to higher performance. It is a double edged sword though. Some kids have more of a social attachment than a drive for competition. Kids are different, just like their parents were.
 

grumpy88

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She’ll play, she’s good enough and I’m not being biased. But she is gonna have to earn it and kids these days don’t have a ton of patience. That is my concern; she’ll get frustrated. The ole interwebs have killed any form of patience in the younger generation.
My only last advice is it needs to be a open conversation in your home if you step up and she does not play for what ever dumb reason her attitude needs to stay positive and no matter what she can not quit . I truly meant it as a positive that she is even out thete playing . More kids need to get out and play sports to play . Parents have ruined sports by taking away the fun . Good luck with your parenting . You obviously are doing a great job already 👍🏻
 

BTR

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My only last advice is it needs to be a open conversation in your home if you step up and she does not play for what ever dumb reason her attitude needs to stay positive and no matter what she can not quit . I truly meant it as a positive that she is even out thete playing . More kids need to get out and play sports to play . Parents have ruined sports by taking away the fun . Good luck with your parenting . You obviously are doing a great job already 👍🏻
Thanks. She is wanting the challenge and attitude is great now. I think we’ll be ok.
 

BTR

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If your daughter is the competitive type, she will move teams. My wife was a freshman in high school, and had reached a point with her coach and team where she was stalled. She was the top swimmer for her group. She switched teams. New friends and a new coach. She was with that team when she was offered a couple of "full-rides", after coming back from pneumonia.
Better competition will push some kids to higher performance. It is a double edged sword though. Some kids have more of a social attachment than a drive for competition. Kids are different, just like their parents were.
Very very competitive. As for social attachment, she hates her teammates because they don’t try hard enough while she’s giving 100%. She found the new teammates all business and liked that a lot.
 

JUSTWANNARACE

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My daughter is captain of her club soccer team. Starter. They suck. No one is all that dedicated other than her and the coach. She tried out for another team as it was uncertain her current team would continue another year. Well, she was accepted and they are a much higher level of competition. Now, her current coach wants to compete next year. Stay or go? She looked just fine with the new team but as the FNG, will have to earn a starter role. She is also very loyal and feels bad leaving her coach of the last few years that helped develop her. Next year she is a senior in high school. Life is short, I say go for it as it will make her a better player for next year’s varsity season which is where colleges scout from. Last year her high school coach reached out to a couple local schools to come check her out. Sounds like a no brainer for us adults but for a 16 year old this is a huge decision. I’m staying out of it saying I’ll support whatever she decides.

Are you on talking terms with her old coach? If so, without your daughter around, ask him his thoughts! Any "stand up" coach will be straight up and honest, and if they think the kid has a "better chance" with their future they will be honest, even if it take the kid off their team! Then if the results from the coach are for her to move on, have him tell her that! It will boost her confidence hearing her coach telling her to "step up" and move on! Will make her a better player in the long run! Jmo
 

monkeyswrench

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Very very competitive. As for social attachment, she hates her teammates because they don’t try hard enough while she’s giving 100%. She found the new teammates all business and liked that a lot.
Kinda figured as much. She came off a leg injury, and hit it again. Was in the ER a bit ago, and wanted back to the field ASAP.
I've seen that drive from people. When they have both the drive and the talent, it's really something special.
I've never seen your girl play. I don't know a damn thing about soccer. From what's been posted here though, she has the drive.
Earning a starting position won't take long.
 
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Singleton

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I would say encourage her to move to the other team.
Moving up a few levels will be good for her
 

One2go

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Daughter played club since was 8-9 I believe,Was on good club but always looked to move up to better level club. Moved 3 total times. Actually went to so Orange County team because team was very good and coaches were connected to college coaches.Was what she wanted to do...Ended up full ride to Boise St. I know what your going through Lol. I would say talk to the new coach and see where's she fits in with playing time. They always want more good players so take it with a bit of grain of salt.Best/worst times for for the parents but miss those days. Good Luck
 

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I had two kids that played soccer all four years in college with very different experiences. Definitely support your daughter to play on a team that is as dedicated as she is, whatever level of commitment that is. I wish I knew then what I know now and am happy to share what I learned through it all. Good luck to your daughter and family, most importantly have fun, in the end the friends and memories that are most important part of the journey.
 

BTR

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She called her coach. Totally supportive of her changing teams. We will finish out the season (3 weeks left) practicing with both then move over permanently. She is aware that the new team is shoring up their bench but welcomes the competition and is confident she’ll get more play as she spends more time with them. I suppose I was stressing far more than her. Hard not to be a dad even as they get older.
 

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My daughter is captain of her club soccer team. Starter. They suck. No one is all that dedicated other than her and the coach. She tried out for another team as it was uncertain her current team would continue another year. Well, she was accepted and they are a much higher level of competition. Now, her current coach wants to compete next year. Stay or go? She looked just fine with the new team but as the FNG, will have to earn a starter role. She is also very loyal and feels bad leaving her coach of the last few years that helped develop her. Next year she is a senior in high school. Life is short, I say go for it as it will make her a better player for next year’s varsity season which is where colleges scout from. Last year her high school coach reached out to a couple local schools to come check her out. Sounds like a no brainer for us adults but for a 16 year old this is a huge decision. I’m staying out of it saying I’ll support whatever she decides.

You need to advise them.as their Dad. They love their friends but if she wants to get serious then serious is what it will take. My daughter will be playing D1 softball because of her sacrifices. Missed oit on home coming, winter formals etc

Do not stay on a shitty team where the fellow players aren't dedicated. I get my girls recruited because they are all dedicated. College coaches will NOT watch games where players have a crappy attitude and they don't train. I have had D1 players, D2, D3 ans NAIA. They all have their place.
 
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golakers

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Move teams. My daughter plays Ecnl RL. Wants to play in college. Better team/club willl make her better. If the club/coach is good, they will find her a college to play at. Best advice I ever got was, at 14 years old club soccer becomes less and less fun every year. 😎.
 

HOOTER SLED-

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Go club.....high school is nothing but politics....fuck those mother fuckers. Get her the exposure......if she is goood enough. Get her to scholarship. Fuck the rest.
 

locogringo

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Coached soccer since my oldest daughter was 8 until U12 when she moved to club and then became the manager of that club team and brought in a great coach.

I was exactly in your shoes when she was a junior. She was already playing HS soccer but was getting more and more overqualified for the club team she was on.

She was tired of her current team not really caring, and we as parents, supported her moving to a higher level Club team that was 40 minutes away from us instead of going to one that was in the same city.

It was hard, new team with new girls and developing friends at that age, especially for teenage girls was really tough, but she worked through it.

Good luck, stay supportive and her skills and desire will speak for themself!
 
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havasuhusker

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Are you on talking terms with her old coach? If so, without your daughter around, ask him his thoughts! Any "stand up" coach will be straight up and honest, and if they think the kid has a "better chance" with their future they will be honest, even if it take the kid off their team! Then if the results from the coach are for her to move on, have him tell her that! It will boost her confidence hearing her coach telling her to "step up" and move on! Will make her a better player in the long run! Jmo

This ^
 

Cole Trickle

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Sports in general are all politics.

We have been playing club for 4 years and the team has struggled to keep it together. Went from a bronze team to a gold team where we were the new guy and the coach honestly never gave the kid a chance. His team had been together for 5+ years and he continued to play kids in positions they out grew. New kids were crammed into positions they didn't, like or didn't know. He was a good coach and the team would either win the whole tournament or get bounced in the 2nd round...weird mind set...lol

The good news is he put my kid inas a defender when he had played winger/forward his whole life and luckily he might now be in the position he was born for (center back) but he needs a coach that will let him run free and also push.

That coach quote 3 weeks before state cup and all the parents were livid and we lost half our team. We ended up with a new coach that was awesome and my kid flourished but covid hit and we couldn't build a team so he left for another age group to get paid.

Covid has held kids sports back for years in CA with how they reacted. I would make sure he ends up with a coach that gives her a chance that she enjoys playing for. Nothing worse than a shit coach imho they can do years of damage. The one i was talking about destroyed my kids confidence that took a year to recover and confidence is easily half the game i could careless about trophy's.

Were off to utah this week where we get to start over with a new club...haha :p :eek::rolleyes:
 

t&y

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My daughter is captain of her club soccer team. Starter. They suck. No one is all that dedicated other than her and the coach. She tried out for another team as it was uncertain her current team would continue another year. Well, she was accepted and they are a much higher level of competition. Now, her current coach wants to compete next year. Stay or go? She looked just fine with the new team but as the FNG, will have to earn a starter role. She is also very loyal and feels bad leaving her coach of the last few years that helped develop her. Next year she is a senior in high school. Life is short, I say go for it as it will make her a better player for next year’s varsity season which is where colleges scout from. Last year her high school coach reached out to a couple local schools to come check her out. Sounds like a no brainer for us adults but for a 16 year old this is a huge decision. I’m staying out of it saying I’ll support whatever she decides.
Interesting topic. I was the captain of a competitive running team. We were consistently 1st place in our division during this time. I was not the fastest of the group but always up there. My top guys were minutes ahead of the majority of the pack on your standard 10K which is huge in running, but even then, the rest of the group were dedicated and hard working runners, no slackers on that team. My top guys were considering running for a team in a separate division where they would be going from top dogs on our team to bottom of the pack in regards to running ability. They wanted to push themselves and be surrounded by an entire team that was at their level or higher (I'm pretty sure they just wanted the easy legs on the runs...lol). As the captain I assured them that I support their move completely. It's not about my personal success with the team, it was more about them in an environment that would make them better. Both went and were treated like the red headed step children. We still won and they both came back the next year. 😂
 
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Looking Glass

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Did you really need to Ask a Online Forum for your Daughter's very Obvious Decision Choice?
 

sirbob

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She’ll play, she’s good enough and I’m not being biased. But she is gonna have to earn it and kids these days don’t have a ton of patience. That is my concern; she’ll get frustrated. The ole interwebs have killed any form of patience in the younger generation.

My vote is for the new team.

There is a great deal to be learned about success in life by studying delayed gratification...

 
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lakemadness

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With the info you provided, its a simple decision. She needs to move teams. You'll only get better if you play with better players.
 

EmpirE231

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Too much politics in team sports, but it is what it is. Find a good coach (really pay attention to him / her in practice & games).... also team manager makes a big difference on how the team functions. At the end of the day, she needs to like her teammates and the game, in order to get better.

we were at one of the top clubs for both my daughters before covid, saw a few different coaches and all the politics.... the way they handled covid sucked so we took the whole year off... now back at a local lower level club, and my older daughters team seems legit! great coach... we were thinking we would move to this club to reduce expectations and to let her find her passion for playing again.... well she found her passion playing again, and has turned up the intensity (never thought that would happen). My younger daughter is playing up a year and having fun... definitely not as competitive as the previous club for her, but she's having fun and is still 9 years old.
 
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BTR

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Did you really need to Ask a Online Forum for your Daughter's very Obvious Decision Choice?
Yes because it is a mixed emotions situation. She loves her old coach and he and I are friends outside of soccer. He was going to quit at the end of the year and told us to start looking for a new team. Then he changed his mind. He gave her a chance when she was mediocre and developed her into one of the best on his team. Now we are leaving and you can’t help but feel gracious for his support and bad for him losing a good player.
As for the new team, the girls and new coach welcomed her and the team doesn’t show any signs of FNG syndrome.
 

CLdrinker

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Sounds like the current coach sucks.

My BIL is a college coach for a girls team.
You should have been at the thanksgiving table when he told his niece she was not even close to be good enough for a college team.

lol oh boy was that spicy.
 

ka0tyk

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It all depends on what she wants to get out of playing...

does she want to be social and have friends, run around, etc?
does she want to be competitive and play hard?
does she want to pursue it past just high school?

The answer to those questions steers her to the decision she has to make. Also where she is in life... some of those will have responsibilities to her team that will take her away from other things in life. Potential job, internship, extracurricular activities in school, groups, study time, etc. I played on an extremely competitive ice hockey team for almost 20 years... and unfortunately that meant I was practicing 5-7 days a week, playing tournaments or games 3-4 days as well. It was extremely demanding. Not sure where that fits in with her school, potential college, etc.

Coaches come and go. Being loyal to one will only hold yourself back. At the same time, sometimes the grass isnt greener on the other side...
 

Justfishing

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If she was talented the discussion should have taken place years ago. College coaches know the kids to watch from 6-8th grade. In girls sports only vb and bb get full ride other sports are partial. Patial can be small amounts like books or 10% of the cost etc.

A d1 soccer team is around 28 players with a max of 14 scholarships to be split. The top players will get between 3/4 to a full scholarship. The rest of the players will split the remaining. If the 9 starters get most of a scholarship that will use 7-8 with the rest splitting 6-7. Lower divisions get about 10 scholarships.

It may sound great to hear of the interest but do you want to be stuck on a bus for 2-6 hours going to games. What is the academic support? Etc

Now if you go to a power 5 conference school you have better travel modes many times planes. Better academic support etc.
 

lebel409

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Part of your daughters allegiance is due to being young and lack of experiance. My daughter played on a waterpolo team where she grew a lot for 4 years, the team imploded, she quit playing...for a year and a half. When she hit high school she thought she'd try out for the team, could've been the varsity backup goalie, but she wanted to play feild, so she told the coach she was new to the sport. She went from an OK goalie to a fast attacker and made it to the JV team as a freshman, played in the CIF game and made the play that put them back in the game, starter ever since. She also joined a club team, controversial coach. She struggled to make friends on that team,
but at the end, she received a full scholarship to a D1 school.

It was a rugged road. Lots of tough choices, dealing with crappy ex-team mates, politics, other choices (other sports and scouting).

The team mates she had still effect her, friends, friendly rivals, girls that are drowned at every opportunity.

But leaving a team, joining a team, are tough for any young person, and until they do it a few times and get that every coach works differently, that they ay be saying the same thing in a different way, OR are saying what's already been heard, but are asking for something different, it's a big challenge.
 

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It was not fun changing teams when I played 12+years ago. The new team of girls weren’t the most welcoming. Especially since I was already offered a starting position which means I took someone’s spot. So it was a rough few weeks trying to become friends with the new group of girls. It did make me more competitive since I felt a bit out of place, so I practiced harder. I actually found it easier to transfer to a team that had a high school teammate on it so I at least knew someone.

I hope whatever your daughter chooses makes her happy. That’s my opinion. Since you mentioned scouts, I would ask the existing head coach, which tournaments he plans on entering. She may shine from the less competitive players on her team and showing a good attitude will help. They don’t always look for the best player, but they look for a good team player that is highly skilled. So that may reflect good on her. Scouts also go to high school games if her high school coach had strong connections to their college in which they played for. If the existing coach is lacking direction into his plans for next year, then your daughter may see this and the decision to change teams will be easier. The loyalty part I get because sometimes those friends you had on your previous team won’t talk to you anymore.

The crazy part is despite the good memories I had of club soccer, I don’t think I’d put my daughter in it. I’m not sure it’s calmed down, but it was brutal. My high school coach didn’t play certain girls enough minutes if they didn’t transfer to their club team. This was in the late 90s and 2000s in Irvine which was extremely competitive at the time along with San Diego. If you were injured, you either had to suck it up or lose your position for who knows how long because the talent was there for many girls. I went back forth from silver elite to gold. If a practice or 1 game was missed, you weren’t allowed to see a ball for two weeks during practice which meant running you into the ground. I loved it when I was in it, but it was a sense of relief when it stopped. I hope it still as competitive, but not as cut throat.
 

BTR

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It was not fun changing teams when I played 12+years ago. The new team of girls weren’t the most welcoming. Especially since I was already offered a starting position which means I took someone’s spot. So it was a rough few weeks trying to become friends with the new group of girls. It did make me more competitive since I felt a bit out of place, so I practiced harder. I actually found it easier to transfer to a team that had a high school teammate on it so I at least knew someone.

I hope whatever your daughter chooses makes her happy. That’s my opinion. Since you mentioned scouts, I would ask the existing head coach, which tournaments he plans on entering. She may shine from the less competitive players on her team and showing a good attitude will help. They don’t always look for the best player, but they look for a good team player that is highly skilled. So that may reflect good on her. Scouts also go to high school games if her high school coach had strong connections to their college in which they played for. If the existing coach is lacking direction into his plans for next year, then your daughter may see this and the decision to change teams will be easier. The loyalty part I get because sometimes those friends you had on your previous team won’t talk to you anymore.

The crazy part is despite the good memories I had of club soccer, I don’t think I’d put my daughter in it. I’m not sure it’s calmed down, but it was brutal. My high school coach didn’t play certain girls enough minutes if they didn’t transfer to their club team. This was in the late 90s and 2000s in Irvine which was extremely competitive at the time along with San Diego. If you were injured, you either had to suck it up or lose your position for who knows how long because the talent was there for many girls. I went back forth from silver elite to gold. If a practice or 1 game was missed, you weren’t allowed to see a ball for two weeks during practice which meant running you into the ground. I loved it when I was in it, but it was a sense of relief when it stopped. I hope it still as competitive, but not as cut throat.
It’s still brutal. She’s played varsity since a freshman and club since she was 12. Her high school coaches are helping her with college.
 

BTR

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Ok. It’s a done deal. For those in the IE, she’s leaving Riverside FC and going to…
9701ACA9-AB46-410D-98A6-D1FDA830CE60.png
 

One2go

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It’s still brutal. She’s played varsity since a freshman and club since she was 12. Her high school coaches are helping her with college.
I'm sure it always will be brutal as the kids and parents want a scholarship as the "gold at end of the rainbow ",college coaches usually don't even go or talk to high school coaches much ( at least didn't when my daughter played club & high school 7years ago) they go to tournaments ( surf cup,Ecnl playoffs.. back then)where they can see multiple players or get kids into there college camps to evaluate. If your daughter has good grades that's huge!!! All schools will do athletic scholarships in combination with academic as they only get so many athletic and split them. IMO..Focus on smaller schools that have good educational value.just my 02 cents. Good luck on Celtic. ...my daughter played there back in the day,then to So Cal Blues.
 

BTR

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I'm sure it always will be brutal as the kids and parents want a scholarship as the "gold at end of the rainbow ",college coaches usually don't even go or talk to high school coaches much ( at least didn't when my daughter played club & high school 7years ago) they go to tournaments ( surf cup,Ecnl playoffs.. back then)where they can see multiple players or get kids into there college camps to evaluate. If your daughter has good grades that's huge!!! All schools will do athletic scholarships in combination with academic as they only get so many athletic and split them. IMO..Focus on smaller schools that have good educational value.just my 02 cents. Good luck on Celtic. ...my daughter played there back in the day,then to So Cal Blues.
Grades are good. Her high school coach is somehow tied to La Sierra University and recommended her to the coach. If your not familiar with it, it’s run by Loma Linda University Medical but is not 7th day Adventist. She wants to be an anesthesiologist so it’s a good fit. Not NCAA but NAIA d2. Good enough. Both of us realize that at her age she is not going to be pro or on some US national team. She just wants to compete as long as possible and if it saves me a few bucks, I’m down.
 
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One2go

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Grades are good. Her high school coach is somehow tied to La Sierra University and recommended her to the coach. If your not familiar with it, it’s run by Loma Linda University Medical but is not 7th day Adventist. She wants to be an anesthesiologist so it’s a good fit. Not NCAA but NAIA d2. Good enough. Both of us realize that at her age she is not going to be pro or on some US national team. She just wants to compete as long as possible and if it saves me a few bucks, I’m down.
👆🏻That's exactly what I was talking about.Small Div 2-3 school great education and play.8 girls on my daughters team had offers and 5 were small schools.they all graduated already and was so great to follow them ! Sounds like your on top of it. Awesome!
 
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HBCraig

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Grades are good. Her high school coach is somehow tied to La Sierra University and recommended her to the coach. If your not familiar with it, it’s run by Loma Linda University Medical but is not 7th day Adventist. She wants to be an anesthesiologist so it’s a good fit. Not NCAA but NAIA d2. Good enough. Both of us realize that at her age she is not going to be pro or on some US national team. She just wants to compete as long as possible and if it saves me a few bucks, I’m down.
BTR,
I can tell you from being hard and somewhat focused on my daughter's future it is paying off. Tonight in a HS ceremony she was voted to the All Orangw County Dream Team and was inducted to her HS Hall of Fame. Pretty cool stuff
 
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