ka0tyk
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- Joined
- Oct 4, 2010
- Messages
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Love to get some various opinions on whats transpired in my life over the years, most of you are decently level headed. =)
My parents divorced when I was young, due to my mother being addicted to medication and booze. I remember going to visit her in rehab, she was more excited to see her winston cigarettes than me. Obviously it didnt work because they split shortly after. My dad told her to just take whatever and leave... a couple weekends later we were eating on patio furniture in the empty living room and the brand new 5.0 tbird he bought her was gone. Never saw her again.... until she was on her death bed reaching out for forgiveness through facebook messenger. Never took her up on the offer. My dad raised me and it wasnt a bad life, had a roof over my head and we went to the river, etc... now that I have kids I realize I was more "friends" with my father than a son. Those 3 words never were spoken that I say daily to my children.
I grow up, he remarries when I'm like 18 and later they end up leaving California and moving to North Carolina. We have kids and we hear the "its too far away from the grandkids." They end up moving back to Bullhead AZ. However the visits and phone calls are always initiated by us to see the kids. We try to get them iphones so they can at least facetime, they're stubborn and only do android... even then skype or meet, hangouts, etc never happen. Meanwhile my wifes side are all kicking the door in to have time with their grandkids... booking up every holiday years in advance, trips etc. We realize moving back west had nothing to do with us and everything to do with being around their friends so they can party. I eventually give up with the initiation of every conversation or trying to fill them in on what our kids are up to, how they're doing etc.
Its about to be three years now and I havent even had a text message from them. No kids birthday presents or even a card. They've blocked us on facebook for some reason... my aunts and uncles have all told us that they think we're preventing them from seeing the kids. We've obviously told them otherwise and they're understanding of our side of the story, especially when we're the ones showing up for family holidays and get togethers and they're absent.
At what point do I go out there, call, or should I just leave it as-is? I just feel like its going to be a giant shit show. I dont think I need any relationship its more for the kids. Then again that hole is overflowing with love and support from all our other family members. I have a feeling the next time I see my father he will be in a box or on his death bed reaching out and I might just give him the cold shoulder like I did my mother...
My parents divorced when I was young, due to my mother being addicted to medication and booze. I remember going to visit her in rehab, she was more excited to see her winston cigarettes than me. Obviously it didnt work because they split shortly after. My dad told her to just take whatever and leave... a couple weekends later we were eating on patio furniture in the empty living room and the brand new 5.0 tbird he bought her was gone. Never saw her again.... until she was on her death bed reaching out for forgiveness through facebook messenger. Never took her up on the offer. My dad raised me and it wasnt a bad life, had a roof over my head and we went to the river, etc... now that I have kids I realize I was more "friends" with my father than a son. Those 3 words never were spoken that I say daily to my children.
I grow up, he remarries when I'm like 18 and later they end up leaving California and moving to North Carolina. We have kids and we hear the "its too far away from the grandkids." They end up moving back to Bullhead AZ. However the visits and phone calls are always initiated by us to see the kids. We try to get them iphones so they can at least facetime, they're stubborn and only do android... even then skype or meet, hangouts, etc never happen. Meanwhile my wifes side are all kicking the door in to have time with their grandkids... booking up every holiday years in advance, trips etc. We realize moving back west had nothing to do with us and everything to do with being around their friends so they can party. I eventually give up with the initiation of every conversation or trying to fill them in on what our kids are up to, how they're doing etc.
Its about to be three years now and I havent even had a text message from them. No kids birthday presents or even a card. They've blocked us on facebook for some reason... my aunts and uncles have all told us that they think we're preventing them from seeing the kids. We've obviously told them otherwise and they're understanding of our side of the story, especially when we're the ones showing up for family holidays and get togethers and they're absent.
At what point do I go out there, call, or should I just leave it as-is? I just feel like its going to be a giant shit show. I dont think I need any relationship its more for the kids. Then again that hole is overflowing with love and support from all our other family members. I have a feeling the next time I see my father he will be in a box or on his death bed reaching out and I might just give him the cold shoulder like I did my mother...