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Do you have an exit plan?

Warlock1

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A friend of mine and I were talking and he asked me if I had an exit plan? It caught me by surprise and I asked what do you mean? He said in case your marriage goes south. He said smart people do prenups, but since he wasn't so smart he decided to put a plan together just in case. I asked him if everything was ok and he said yeah and that's why it was the perfect time to plan for the what if.

That makes total sense to me since some of my training is on disaster recovery and emergency planning. It's way easier to create lists and plans with names numbers and all important information down on paper when there is no pressure or emotions getting in the way.

This got me curious to see if anyone else has done this or thought about it.
 

Mandelon

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Never thought of it that way exactly, but I guess I do. I'm always planning for worst case scenarios. I'm not a prepper, but I'm still prepped. LOL
 

Done-it-again

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I could careless. I didn't have shit before we meet, just a work ethic and knew how to save money.

She would be lost without me and visa versa. Our kids take all of our money now and they are only 8 so when they are teens I'll be in the negative...lol
 

LowRiver2

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Lol
In ca? Here’s the score:

1. 10 years or more=long term marriage
2. Dissomaster calculator: look it up , study it , know it
3. Good attorneys in your area/county
Have a list: Once you are playing for keeps, meet the best ones for a consult, the other side can’t use them after that (most times)
4.Public Service? Learn the QDRO system, how it applies to you.

If you don’t have a handle on the above, everything else is meaningless


AF3D4F0F-A3B3-4725-9040-D47D0ACA894C.jpeg
 

HitIt

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Nope. We started without a whole lot and have grown what we have together. I don't think I need a plan (for a variety of reasons) and am not sure what sort of plan I could even put in place outside of an offshore account or stashing gold/cash/bitcoins.

What sorts of things are people doing?
 
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pkrrvr619

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Nope. We started with nothing and built our little place on earth together. She picked up more slack when i was in school and i did the same for her when she was finishing up her degree.

She hasn't worked in a few years bc we were trying to start a family so if we split now i would be super fucked as I believe I have to keep her lifestyle funded til she cohabs with someone else.

That being said I married my best friend. Sounds cliche and I might be naive but i plan on making this work.
 

attitude

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No plan, we’ve been together almost 6 years have a almost 2 year old and another baby on the way. Still aren’t married and don’t own a house together, I would probably move out of CA because I wouldn’t be able to afford it lol.
 

Cole Trickle

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No but yes...lol

Lived together for 11 years before we got married. We share no bank accounts or credit cards

We both work and make similar money. (Personally i would never do the stay at home mom thing i want her to be capable of supporting herself)

If something happened i would have zero issue splitting the house as she has been along for the ride since the beginning. She would be fair and not mess with my savings or cars.

With that said she's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me and she would likely tell the same story. Coming up on 22 years together and i think our love/respect only continues to grow.
 

HALLETT BOY

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Some of you guys say it’s over if you’re thinking about it , 80% of divorces are initiated by women . Plan accordingly. We all want the lifetime relationship , sometimes the partner doesn’t .
 

EmpirE231

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chicks always have a plan lol

No plan here... I just tell her if she's ever leaving me... it better be for some rich mofo, and to leave my with my scraps that I have accumulated.
 
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TeamGreene

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No exit plan.
As a child of divorce, I planned before I got married. Made sure I took my time to find someone who was my partner in crime.
Exactly. Have a good picker the first time.
 

Hallett_Whacker

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No plan, been together for 25 years, married for 22. I guess if things were to go south, it’d be a fairly even split down the middle. We earn about the same roughly, and the kids are 21&19 so no child support.

I hope to grow old with my wife though. She’s been with me through thick and thin, but I guess one never knows what the future will bring...
 

Singleton

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Exactly. Have a good picker the first time.
i walked away many times before a ring was purchased. Walked away even after engagement ring was given once. Walked away and paid double rent when I was living with a girlfriend for 6 months. Learned from those experiences to slow thr F down. Stopped looking for GF, purchased a boat and then my my current wife showed up at the company holiday party :)
 

sirbob

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Planning to fail?

Now might be a good time to talk about how you would handle a bumpy patch in your relationship - would you do counseling? would you talk to your priest? would you bring in a friend to mediate? Heck why not talk now about splitting your assets so each person has a plan - you might even go so far as to draw up a postnuptial?

But no way would I ever have planned behind my wife's back what I would do if our marriage went south. Thats just asking for trouble and telling yourself you didn't really mean what you said the day you got married.

I'm not naive enough to think for some people that issues don't arise and a change in relationship is necessary but the idea of building a contigency plan if things went south sounds like a bad idea to me once you are already married.
 

TeamGreene

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i walked away many times before a ring was purchased. Walked away even after engagement ring was given once. Walked away and paid double rent when I was living with a girlfriend for 6 months. Learned from those experiences to slow thr F down. Stopped looking for GF, purchased a boat and then my my current wife showed up at the company holiday party :)
Me too Would be MIL was bat shit crazy and it went south
 

samsah33

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No exit plan per se, but I've always been a big proponent of having a solid Plan B, which means always keeping your resume updated and make sure you live your lifestyle on the least $ you think you can make when things go south. I've seen too many people live according to their current paycheck, and then are not able to replace that income when their paycheck stops...
 

jetboatperformance

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Good information.. after 46 years of bliss not a concern here ...but have a young friend who can use the info today
 
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RiverDave

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So it’s normal to plan for divorce when everything is going fine?

Maybe I’m in the minority here but when the going gets tough that’s when you work together and make the marriage work and stronger?
 

LargeOrangeFont

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I don't see having an exit plan as planning for a divorce or failure. It is merely having a plan as to what would happen if an event occurred.

I have a plan for my family if I die, I have a plan for my family if my wife dies. I have a plan to GTFO if there is some civil unrest or natural disaster near my home. I want none of those things to happen, but I have an idea of what I'd like to do, and have thought about what to do in the event it does.

Having an "exit" plan does not necessarily mean doing anything nefarious behind your spouse's back.
 

HNL2LHC

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Will be 33 years in Sept. no plan needed other than growing old together.

I am with you. I think the days of being concerned are past for us. Especially after what Gen has been through in the past 2 years. Just looking to enjoy what years we have left. This is great since we both came from broken homes. One thing for sure the two of us have done much more by sticking together than our parents did. Kind of shows that if you Stick out you will be better off. No always the case but sure was for us.
 

Tooms22

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Unless you're hiding funds or assets... what would this plan consist of?

I've always told the wife that if shit goes down, she can have the house and I'll take the depreciating assets... because I like fun.

If she did something messed up, I'd fight like hell... for custody of the cats 🤣
 

Warlock1

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And this is why I bring questions like this to the RDP Brain Trust. The diversity here is amazing. All walks of life, all different means and ways. Hopefully this discussion has or will enlighten someone that needs it, whichever side of the coin they are on.
 

BHC Vic

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If you have to worry about it you shouldn’t be married to that person.

This is coming from a person that almost lost his house to his first wife that was largely funded by my inheritance and zero from her income.
That’s the way I feel. I admit it it’s probably dumb thinking but if I honestly thought there was a chance we would split I wouldn’t have got married. I pray this post never comes back to haunt me. She stuck with me through so much bullshit it would be crazy to call quits now that’s she’s finally tamed me 😂😂
 

BHC Vic

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I don't see having an exit plan as planning for a divorce or failure. It is merely having a plan as to what would happen if an event occurred.

I have a plan for my family if I die, I have a plan for my family if my wife dies. I have a plan to GTFO if there is some civil unrest or natural disaster near my home. I want none of those things to happen, but I have an idea of what I'd like to do, and have thought about what to do in the event it does.

Having an "exit" plan does not necessarily mean doing anything nefarious behind your spouse's back.
I assume the first 3 plans you made with your wife? Should the exit plan also be discussed with her? It’s easy for me to say now, but I’d let my wife and kids have the house and I’d still provide like I do. I just wouldn’t be living there anymore I guess? I dunno, like I said, it’s easy to say all that now without being involved in a nasty fight
 

RaceTec

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Wish I would of in hindsight, learned from it... My list of red flags is a mile long now, guess I will be single / dating until the right one comes by if ever...
 

just_floatin

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No exit plan for marriage but an exit bug-out plan if shit hits the fan 🤪. Besides, my wife and me have two of everything paid in full so there is that. After 36 years of companionship, I will deal with it like a getting a flat tire on the road. When it happens. So long as I got a roof over my head and gas money, I’m good. My kiddos and grandchildren are enough to fulfill my lifetime at this stage of my life.
 

Hypnautic

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I have this plan in place.
Will not confirm or deny unknown bank accounts.

Pretty straightforward after that. Give her 20% for down payment on her own home.
Split known bank accounts after that. She takes car, I take truck and classic cars.
She can take anything in home except antiques that were inherited. All inherited assets have been kept separate from day 1 under TIN number and funds never commingled.
Kids are 50/50. I will pay for kids car/ins and 50% medical.
Divorce will be filed jointly and not be contested. Bring a lawyer to fight and I will make sure lawyers get it all and there is nothing left to split at the end.

This has all been discussed too. Sometimes we discuss this very loudly.
 
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