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Do you have an exit plan?

TPC

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If you need to formulate an exit plan then it's already over and time to contact a lawyer. Yore married to the wrong person!
In a divorce you see a side of that woman you had no clue existed.

When my second wife's boss retired and left her 12% of his AMGEN stock worth well into 7 figures, plus her own ample bennys she turned on a dime.
Felt she was missing something in life and bailed out, retired at 29.

She eventually realized she didn't miss anything.
26 years later she desperately needs my wife's and I's assistance, - and gets it.
 
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rmarion

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Yep...coming up on 40 years....
Our plan...
My wife gets everything... except my dog shit head..
I get my new Zevn underwear that I recently purchased.... SWEET
 

bk2drvr

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I will say a couple things having gone through a divorce and feel I have a lot of perspective. Marriage has legal risks. Most people don’t realize this going into marriage. To say you knew you and your wife would be together forever and divorce could not be possible is bullshit, you just got lucky. People change significantly about every 7 to 10 years, the way they think, the way they look at life and their priorities and tastes in many things change. The leap of faith you take when you get married is that you stay together through these changes.Lol...

On average people lose about 75% of their net worth in a divorce. Even if you split everything 50/50 you’ve lost tremendously more than 50%. And that’s if everything goes smooth.

pro tip - divorce when your still young. Lol...I was 39 when I got divorced. if your marriage is doomed get out as quickly as absolutely possible. You don’t want to be getting divorced in your 50’s or 60s.

pro tip #2 - Mediation
Avoid attorneys at all possible cost. Give her every piece of personal property she wants and try and agree on the big stuff, money and children without involving attorneys. It rarely works but I’ve known some people that have done it.

Lastly, at one time you could buy divorce insurance. It was an insurance company started by a guy that had been divorced. Maybe that’s an exit plan to ponder?
 

LowRiver2

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Over 50% end in failure. Pre-nups are risk management.
100%
About 60% in my profession, (actual people I worked with)
Pre Nup is exactly that: risk management

All these dumb ass comments about “entry plan”
Pretty sure you wouldn’t enter into a potentially violent situation the same way the second time after you got injured doing it the first time.

This thread turned into the guys that got married and things went well, and the guys that got married that went south.
Those of us in the latter group went in like everyone else with reasonable expectations of shit staying together. Guess what , humans are wired a tad differently, and those of us on the receiving end of that “turn” have offered clues/ tactics to help out the guys that end up in the unforseen mess.
Older age guys marrying first time or guys on second or more marriage: pre nup is risk management.

We can all say “just live in a van by the river”

Not a great plan when you have kids that are school age and you have visitation.

Be aware of all disasters, like prepping, don’t have to be code orange 24/7, but have an idea of what happens when personal life gives you a haymaker.
 
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LowRiver2

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I will say a couple things having gone through a divorce and feel I have a lot of perspective. Marriage has legal risks. Most people don’t realize this going into marriage. To say you knew you and your wife would be together forever and divorce could not be possible is bullshit, you just got lucky. People change significantly about every 7 to 10 years, the way they think, the way they look at life and their priorities and tastes in many things change. The leap of faith you take when you get married is that you stay together through these changes.Lol...

On average people lose about 75% of their net worth in a divorce. Even if you split everything 50/50 you’ve lost tremendously more than 50%. And that’s if everything goes smooth.

pro tip - divorce when your still young. Lol...I was 39 when I got divorced. if your marriage is doomed get out as quickly as absolutely possible. You don’t want to be getting divorced in your 50’s or 60s.

pro tip #2 - Mediation
Avoid attorneys at all possible cost. Give her every piece of personal property she wants and try and agree on the big stuff, money and children without involving attorneys. It rarely works but I’ve known some people that have done it.

Lastly, at one time you could buy divorce insurance. It was an insurance company started by a guy that had been divorced. Maybe that’s an exit plan to ponder?
Careful on mediation if kids or pension is involved.
Spouses get other people’s opinions involved and change things right at the end.


My mediation was $8k in mediator fees down the drain.

I haven’t seen one divorce in 20+ I know of where child custody was involved and mediation started, that did not end up in family court with both parties having attorneys.
 

bk2drvr

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Careful on mediation if kids or pension is involved.
Spouses get other people’s opinions involved and change things right at the end.


My mediation was $8k in mediator fees down the drain.

I haven’t seen one divorce in 20+ I know of where child custody was involved and mediation started, that did not end up in family court with both parties having attorneys.
my sister and her ex did it. They owned 5 properties and had two kids under 18. They weren’t rich but both realized cool heads get to keep more of their shit. Still devastating loses when you look at the details. A good mediator should steer the process. It’s tough I get it but it can be done.
 

LowRiver2

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my sister and her ex did it. They owned 5 properties and had two kids under 18. They weren’t rich but both realized cool heads get to keep more of their shit. Still devastating loses when you look at the details. A good mediator should steer the process. It’s tough I get it but it can be done.
Anything can be accomplished to some degree.

There are a hell of a lot less mediators than family law attorneys for a reason.
if mediation had a higher rate of success .it would be the opposite ratio.
 

2Driver

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I get it, but I guess I’m old school.

Why bother getting married and going through the ceremonial put-on of stating vows. LOL or maybe the vows should include, “In case it doesn’t work, here is how I agree it’s going to go down...........”.

Seems more applicable to just have respective lawyers draw up the prenup and the marriage at the same time?
 
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LowRiver2

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I get it, but I guess I’m old school.

Why bother getting married and going through the ceremonial put-on of stating vows. LOL or maybe the vows should include, “In case it doesn’t work, here is how I agree it’s going to go down...........”.

Seems more applicable to just have respective lawyers draw up the prenup and the marriage at the same time?
The point of my post was to clear this up:

Pretty much no one getting married in their early 20’s has two pennys’s to rub together, hence a pre nup rarely needed.

The “exit” plan for those that fall into that category is read my post of understanding what is involved should your union gonsouth.

Pre Nup:
Over 30, have property/pensions, aquired wealth, and or on 2nd marriage , and prior kids.

It’s insurance , plain and simple.
Same applies for the wife

I know a woman who did 2nd marriage, has her own two kids (teens)

New hubby discloses after marriage he’s $500k in debt.

Pre nup would’ve weeded that out.

Extreme case?
Maybe

Two roads to go: trust or with clear lenses
Everyone must choose their own fate.
 

ssc

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The simple reality is that at least 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Perhaps one doesn't enter into a marriage with the thought that it may end in divorce, but one must accept the reality of the institution. As we get a bit older and/or acquire assets objective thinking has to accept the unfortunate possibility of divorce.

For those of us who have gone through a divorce, we seem to go into our second marriage with our eyes a bit wider. It makes sense to do a bit of proactive preventative planning. A pre nup is one such plan. However, I have litigated many of them and they often times are set aside or declared invalid. There are many rules and cases that affect them.

In conclusion, what some folks are trying to explain to others, is to possibly learn from our mistakes/ experience.

Cheers, Steve
 

Christopher Lucero

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Still aren’t married
That is the best solution. All is tenant in common and 50/50 (or negotiable as titles are acquired).
Who needs the gov't to encumber your individual rights or tell you how to split assets when you loggerhead?
It takes a special woman to trust that much....luckily, the truly loving will understand it.
 
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WhatExit?

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When the SHTF and you're headed for divorce and big losses one exit plan could be to change your sex. That will out-sex your ex and you'll get everyone's sympathy. You can even call your ex "transphobic" to score more points with the judge.

Bonus: You can use any bathroom you want and you'll be empowered to sue anyone who gets in your way



 

LowRiver2

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I have a little knowledge in killing humans with firearms, knives and explosives. Just because I have that knowledge/skill set doesn’t mean I’m intending to use them, but better to be prepared than not.
It’s just knowledge (the court system/ legal resources).
A tad different than an overt act like hiding money.
 

LowRiver2

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For you guys that have been divorced 2+ times: do you blame yourself or has it been the spouse each time?
I (person that agreed to marriage), have to take some of the blame, regardless of the circumstances of a particular union.

Like a cluster Fu!k arrest: “You catch it, you clean it”
Anyone that is honest with themselves will admit their own short comings in some part of that decision, whether 5% or 90%.

Saints are saints for a reason: very few are recognized 🤣
 

WhatExit?

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For you guys that have been divorced 2+ times: do you blame yourself or has it been the spouse each time?
Easy answers:
1. You can't get divorced if you're not married. 😁 So you have to blame yourself.
2. It takes 2 to make a marriage work and only 1 to kill a marriage. I had to learn how to stop blaming myself.
3. I got married to someone after "knowing her" for 6 days. Day 7 we got married. On day 8, she said something to me that made me realize it wasn't going to last. :oops:
 

Rajobigguy

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Easy answers:
1. You can't get divorced if you're not married. 😁 So you have to blame yourself.
2. It takes 2 to make a marriage work and only 1 to kill a marriage. I had to learn how to stop blaming myself.
3. I got married to someone after "knowing her" for 6 days. Day 7 we got married. On day 8, she said something to me that made me realize it wasn't going to last. :oops:
Let me guess, "We're married now, I don't do that anymore".
 

BHC Vic

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The simple reality is that at least 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Perhaps one doesn't enter into a marriage with the thought that it may end in divorce, but one must accept the reality of the institution. As we get a bit older and/or acquire assets objective thinking has to accept the unfortunate possibility of divorce.

For those of us who have gone through a divorce, we seem to go into our second marriage with our eyes a bit wider. It makes sense to do a bit of proactive preventative planning. A pre nup is one such plan. However, I have litigated many of them and they often times are set aside or declared invalid. There are many rules and cases that affect them.

In conclusion, what some folks are trying to explain to others, is to possibly learn from our mistakes/ experience.

Cheers, Steve
Is the number really that high? 50%? I’m not trying to be a smart ass that just really surprises me. I’m trying to think about my neighbors and my friends and my family and anyone I know really. Yea there’s a few that have been divorced, but not 50%. Is that a pretty accurate stat or is there a lot of play? Has it gotten this high recently or has it always been 50%?
 

WhatExit?

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Let me guess, "We're married now, I don't do that anymore".
Funny! Actually she said, "I'm going to see my friends." And later, "we've got plenty of time to get to know each other."

It was then I realized I just got to "know her" quite well
 

LowRiver2

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Is the number really that high? 50%? I’m not trying to be a smart ass that just really surprises me. I’m trying to think about my neighbors and my friends and my family and anyone I know really. Yea there’s a few that have been divorced, but not 50%. Is that a pretty accurate stat or is there a lot of play? Has it gotten this high recently or has it always been 50%?
Easily 50%
Remember total marriages, might not be happening around you.
Watch back and remember this percentage when you hit 50 and see if there is a rise in the couples you know.
Usually is
 

lakemadness

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I (person that agreed to marriage), have to take some of the blame, regardless of the circumstances of a particular union.

Like a cluster Fu!k arrest: “You catch it, you clean it”
Anyone that is honest with themselves will admit their own short comings in some part of that decision, whether 5% or 90%.

Saints are saints for a reason: very few are recognized 🤣
Easy answers:
1. You can't get divorced if you're not married. 😁 So you have to blame yourself.
2. It takes 2 to make a marriage work and only 1 to kill a marriage. I had to learn how to stop blaming myself.
3. I got married to someone after "knowing her" for 6 days. Day 7 we got married. On day 8, she said something to me that made me realize it wasn't going to last. :oops:
So, if it's you and not all "her", why get married a 3rd, 4th, 5th + time? After chopping your shit 50%+ each time what do you have left? Why would you do it again? Slow learner?

I know a guy who has been divorced from the same broad twice. TWO fucking times! She took 50% of his shit TWICE! They're back together again now. Luckily he does very well. This dude is a lot fun, badass center console and cabin cruiser. Unfortunately he's also fuckin dumb...

If my 1st doesn't work thats it, I retire from marriage. And I wont come out of retirement...
 

FCT

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No plan except to work hard together on having a successful marriage and raising our boys with a happy family environment. We didn’t have shit when we got together except our work ethic and have built what we have together. If things ever went south she can have whatever she wants I don’t care. It’s only money and their is always plenty more to be made.
 

LargeOrangeFont

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Is the number really that high? 50%? I’m not trying to be a smart ass that just really surprises me. I’m trying to think about my neighbors and my friends and my family and anyone I know really. Yea there’s a few that have been divorced, but not 50%. Is that a pretty accurate stat or is there a lot of play? Has it gotten this high recently or has it always been 50%?
Yes it is that high. 40-50% is the published stat. Divorce rate is higher than that in people that divorce more than once.
 

Rajobigguy

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Is the number really that high? 50%? I’m not trying to be a smart ass that just really surprises me. I’m trying to think about my neighbors and my friends and my family and anyone I know really. Yea there’s a few that have been divorced, but not 50%. Is that a pretty accurate stat or is there a lot of play? Has it gotten this high recently or has it always been 50%?
Vic: It's easy to get the wrong impression from the stats. I Believe that the 50% divorce has been just about that for the last 1/2 century but that doesn't mean that 1/2 the people are going to be divorced, there are many people that will marry and divorce more than once so (my sister has been through it 5 times) so while 50% of marriages fail it doesn't mean that half of the people have failed marriages.
 

LowRiver2

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So, if it's you and not all "her", why get married a 3rd, 4th, 5th + time? After chopping your shit 50%+ each time what do you have left? Why would you do it again? Slow learner?

I know a guy who has been divorced from the same broad twice. TWO fucking times! She took 50% of his shit TWICE! They're back together again now. Luckily he does very well. This dude is a lot fun, badass center console and cabin cruiser. Unfortunately he's also fuckin dumb...

If my 1st doesn't work thats it, I retire from marriage. And I wont come out of retirement...
My answer:

You aren’t getting my point.

Even if I’m 5% of the problem, I still own the failure.

Did I choose to find a cake case Detective job and have weekends and holidays off?

No, I chose to blow shit up for a living knowing full well I might get killed or have less digits to get around with.

Life is risk, I don’t sit around trying to be safe at every move ad nauseum.

I didn’t lose 50% each time either.

You can either be a tinder/plenty of fish/ match.com serial starbucks meet and fuck middle age dude that is cool with a merry go round of the same broke down , IG filter middle age unhappy “bed buddies” , or find someone that clicks and jump on that rocket of unknown and go for it, bringing along a bag of render safe tools in hopes of some parachute should it explode.
That’s my angle
Head first or stay in the bleachers
 

lakemadness

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My answer:

You aren’t getting my point.

Even if I’m 5% of the problem, I still own the failure.

Did I choose to find a cake case Detective job and have weekends and holidays off?

No, I chose to blow shit up for a living knowing full well I might get killed or have less digits to get around with.

Life is risk, I don’t sit around trying to be safe at every move ad nauseum.

I didn’t lose 50% each time either.

You can either be a tinder/plenty of fish/ match.com serial starbucks meet and fuck middle age dude that is cool with a merry go round of the same broke down , IG filter middle age unhappy “bed buddies” , or find someone that clicks and jump on that rocket of unknown and go for it, bringing along a bag of render safe tools in hopes of some parachute should it explode.
That’s my angle
Head first or stay in the bleachers

I guess thats one way. Marrying and divorcing is a your "merry go round" though...

And I'm not saying why not be "safe". Why would I continue to open a similar restaurant if it keeps failing? Maybe the concept or person isn't cut out for it. Why not play smart?
 

LowRiver2

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I guess thats one way. Marrying and divorcing is a your "merry go round" though...

And I'm not saying why not be "safe". Why would I continue to open a similar restaurant if it keeps failing? Maybe the concept or person isn't cut out for it. Why not play smart?
Depends on your definition of smart:
Be a sugar daddy?
Make a fleshlight your girlfriend? (financially smart)
Hang out at races and car shows talking about days past alone?

I chose none of those

I don’t have to measure up to anyone with my personal life.
Your tone is coming at life from a completely financial aspect of things: 2 dimensional

I chose happiness with a partner over big toys.
Took me awhile but appears to be working great.

If your deal works for you, cool.

It’s not a merry go round for me , but I’d have to get into specifics of the priors, and I won’t on a message board, so take my word or not, all good.
 

ssc

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When the SHTF and you're headed for divorce and big losses one exit plan could be to change your sex. That will out-sex your ex and you'll get everyone's sympathy. You can even call your ex "transphobic" to score more points with the judge.
I have had this twice, where the man become a woman during the divorce. Had many where one party decided they were gay. Others where one had some bizarre fetish. In the early 90's I had a bunch of cases where the parties engaged in threesomes and then the marriage went to hell.

One day I walked into court and a buddy was arguing a case. I heard him say something about, "This creature should pay support." I looked up and sure as shit it was a couple I had seen on Jerry Springer. Some may remember the case where a woman claimed she married a man and didn't discover for 2 years that this man was actually a woman.

Cheers, Steve
 

Rajobigguy

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Just to keep this thread relevant to a boating site someone needs to ask the question.
Who usually gets the boat in a divorce??
 

Christopher Lucero

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Just to keep this thread relevant to a boating site someone needs to ask the question.
Who usually gets the boat in a divorce??
IDK...
My boat was never as fun w/o my kids so you gotta ask about that as well. So many words to rationalize a simple relation ... at some point it is diminishing returns. get it right with mrs right once and never need any piece of paper or attorney
 
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