Don't Ever Take An Agorophobic Alcoholic...

[monkeyswrench]

To Desert Storm street party! Well, anywhere, for that matter!


I do a lot of work for a guy out here. Nice guy, doesn't leave his property much at all. He knows I have a place in Topoc, and had asked if he could come out with me so he could check out Pirates Cove. He has a toyhauler and a SxS, thought it would be a neat place to head in fall. "Sure, why not?"...

A week ago I tell him I'm going out for Thursday's street party. He's now thinking he'll pass. Cool, no big deal. Wednesday night, just getting ready to head out, he texts me. "Hey, I want to go. Swing by and we'll take my truck. You can drive." Nothing really abnormal, I drive his truck a lot. Fluid situation, "Sure, why not?"...

I get there, he's maybe a little amped, but I figure he's just kind of nervous. As we're maybe 15 miles down the road...the rest of the bottle he must have pounded starts to hit him...well F'k! He passed out, out like a ton of bricks smashed him. As best I can figure, he drank enough to get the guts to ask to go, and then finished it off scared that he did.

Get to the riverpad. He's out. Try to wake him up, kind of slurred response. F'k! Well, I tried to get him up a few times, to no avail. About 2am, "Yep, he's still breathing", I shower, and go to bed. I leave his ass in the truck.

About 8am, I do manage to wake him up. He's not hungover, he's still pretty lit. F'k! He hops in the shower, we head to breakfast. He drinks ice tea and eats...nope, still lit after food and shower. I take him over to Pirate's, and get the info packet from the office. (BTW, office girls were very nice. Only ever dealt with grumpy one's early Saturday mornings. I like the ones there weekdays!)

Now, off to Havasu...the only reason I am out there. During this whole morning, he's been pretty much chain smoking...I must smell like a bar. He's doing ok, but still pretty lit. We get to the street party about 12:30. We get about 1/2 a block, he needs to go back for a cigarette. Now, he almost always keeps smokes on him. Whatever...don't think much of it. We go a bit further next try. Well, he asks for the keys, to go back and have another smoke. I told him "If you get drooling drunk, I'm leaving you in the desert". He says he'll be good. He actually got a malt. About half way walking...maybe about the RDP booth...he wants the keys, and says he'll just be down by the truck. It was about 1:30, and just starting to get a little busy.

I walked up, and back down. Pretty much time to go. On the way out of town, stopped to fuel up the truck. He gets out, asks if I need anything. He comes back with 2 packs of smokes, and a bottle of Crown.

He finished the bottle in about 3 hits...about Kingman. He was out again.

Got back to his pad. Pulled my stuff out, and put it in my car. He mumbled a slurred thank you. I think he actually did appreciate the trip, just not the everything else. Man, he has some issues...

I left him in his truck, and headed home.
"Sure, why not?"...because no good deed goes unpunished.

At least I still got to go to the street party. A little differently than expected, but still went.

 

[RadMan]

Yea but can he drive a boat better drunk than most can sober

 

[HCP3]

Damn. Kinda feel bad for the guy. He can't socialize without getting shit faced, but he can't socialize because he is shit faced. Sounds like a downard spiral in the making. Or the bottom of it.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Damn. Kinda feel bad for the guy. He can't socialize without getting shit faced, but he can't socialize because he is shit faced. Sounds like a downard spiral in the making. Or the bottom of it.

That's kind of what I am thinking. In his own bubble, his property really, never knew he was like that. My wife kind of thought that he got hammered for the trips, just so he wouldn't have to talk with me. Possible, I wouldn't want to talk with me, but I'm an asshole.
Never seen that side of him, but never seen him off the property really. Don't get me wrong, been around alcoholics before...possibly been in that realm...but this was a whole lot different.

 

[scouter]

Agorophobic...... Had to look that up... Learned something new today...

 

[TrollerDave]

Assuming he really is agoraphobic, He took a big step that was probably hard as hell for him. Probably should have tried something a little less crazy. You made it possible for him to try at an expense to your good time. Sometimes it feels like it sucks being the good guy. But sometimes there’s more to it.

 

[WhatExit?]

People like that is why I’m real selective on who I spend time with.

Nice of you to drag him around. I’d be hating myself if I spent any time with a guy like that.

 

[Desert Whaler]

Good on you for pulling off the Mission !

 

[outboard_256]

Sounds like a good time. No one got hurt or ended up in jail. If you had a good time and he had a good time I would call it a successful trip.

 

[just_floatin]

Happy to hear the trip worked out for the best @monkeyswrench. 25 years ago at a company Christmas party a guy on my maintenance team ask for a ride home, which is not a huge ordeal because he lives with my wife’s Uncle a couple miles down the road from me. No red flags when he asked. All appeared normal.

Well half way home like a rocket ship it hits him and it is time for Billy to proceed to inform me what a terrible supervisor I am for the next ten miles. Mind you I am on the freeway. I just grip the steering-wheel and agree with him on the longest 10 miles of my life hoping he does not do something stupid.

Finally arrive at my wife’s Uncles home where I immediately rush out the drivers door, open the passenger door and drag his ass to the pavement. Two days later at work he shows up pretty beat up but he never said a word nor did I. We both would have been fired. I find out later he is a raging alcoholic. At work he was super cool and quiet, but once liquored up Mr. Hyde shows up. I have been very selective with the company I keep ever since especially in a motor vehicle.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Well, it definitely was an adventure. I really think there is some serious self medicating for him to be out and about. The original idea I had, when it I offered to take him, was to get to the show before it openned up really. I was thinking roll in, maybe 10:30 11. I figured it would be just boats and much more limited on the population. Best laid plans...well they went to shit in a hurry.

I have to say, I didn't have as much fun as I'd liked to. Was worried he'd get bored in the truck, and wander off to a bar. Luckily, I think he was too lit to notice we had walked by 3 I think. There were a couple inmates I would have liked to talk to, but that didn't pan out. Timing just wasn't there this time.

I will say though, that 60 year old looked like an Amish kid. He had never seen anything like the two Skaters at the start...one being an inmates...and seeing the girls dancing in the CC was hit too.

Like posted above, no one went to jail. No one puked on a boat I can't afford to have cleaned. Hell, his gas and his truck...so I at least got to drive something a bit more pimp than the Prius

 

[JUSTWANNARACE]

@monkeyswrench props to you. I have been in those situations.

One good thing is it is experiences like this that could change his life! When you have that feeling that no body likes you and no body cares, it will drive you to do weird thinks and drinking is one of them. Maybe yesterday was an eye opener for him and put the thought in his head that maybe he could have a friend or two. Maybe after what he seen yesterday he will relize there is some cool shit to see out there and not everyone is against him. The shame and embarrassment that he felt waking up in his truck may be enough for that trigger. Dont walk away from the friendship, you could be saving his life and not even know it!

Maybe??
Maybe not??
Loneliness does some crazy shit to the brain!!

 

[River Runnin]

Assuming he really is agoraphobic, He took a big step that was probably hard as hell for him. Probably should have tried something a little less crazy. You made it possible for him to try at an expense to your good time. Sometimes it feels like it sucks being the good guy. But sometimes there’s more to it.

I didn't look it up, But! I had an Uncle that survived a widow maker, and body cast for several months .... Pain pills pot and booze! .... At least a 5th a day (starting about 4pm) until he could pass out! --- Then he got mean, confused, wig'd out! (Likely Wet Brain) and finally drank himself to death.

 

[monkeyswrench]

@JUSTWANNARACE , no, wouldn't walk away. Kind of been there done that. When I was 20 or so I would kill a fifth on Friday night, and another on Saturday...unless I had a race. Stopped that when I bought my first house. Wanted to, but way too much money to drink away. After my wreck though, was in a messed up place. Switched up to beer...20+ a night...most nights I know how weird things get.

I do know I'm not inviting him out for a family friendly weekend at the river anytime soon. Hell, I've had the same bottle of jack in the freezer for 2 seasons now.

I'll see how he is Monday. My guess would be he's sleeping all day today.

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

I don't know whether I should feel sympathy for you or him both of you are in awkward positions although his is probably going to hurt more. Haha this is definitely an interesting story. Hope it all works out for all parties involved.

 

[DB / HAV]

You are a good man, never know how long some folks will be with us

 

[monkeyswrench]

I don't know whether I should feel sympathy for you or him both of you are in awkward positions although his is probably going to hurt more. Haha this is definitely an interesting story. Hope it all works out for all parties involved.

"Always an adventure" is what I tell my wife when things don't go as expected. It is kind of funny, but also kind of sad. At misc. places over the years, I've dealt with drunks, at least he wasn't argumentative or such.

 

[Dalton]

My dad was agoraphobic, even being that close to someone with it, it’s still hard to understand, it can be hard to believe it’s even real. He used things a lot stronger than alcohol to self medicate, the last time I saw him was at a hotel in Studio City, holed up afraid to come out. There’s not really a cure, I’m the opposite, I’ve traveled the world a few times over, which made it even harder to understand something like that.


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[Nanu/Nanu]

Nothing worse than a drunk acquaintance that wants to start stuff with strangers or other friends.

Should have dressed him up like Bernie from "weekend at Bernie's" may have been a hit? Haha

 

[monkeyswrench]

My dad was agoraphobic, even being that close to someone with it, it’s still hard to understand, it can be hard to believe it’s even real. He used things a lot stronger than alcohol to self medicate, the last time I saw him was at a hotel in Studio City, holed up afraid to come out. There’s not really a cure, I’m the opposite, I’ve traveled the world a few times over, which made it even harder to understand something like that.


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Something about the hotel you just mentioned... my friend said years ago, when he had his business in Cali, some weekends he'd just get a room, and a couple bottles. Just "dissappear" for the weekend. Didn't want to see or hear from anyone.
Maybe a reason he moved out here? Been locked away on his property. I know he had his nephew drive his rig to Glamis last fall. Maybe he was ripped drunk there too.
It is hard to understand, and I am far from a social type. This just seems extreme. It's through my eyes though, and not his

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

I always have wondered though how people that have agoraphobia makes friends like you. I mean that as in general not you specifically. Said friend of yours had to have had a break through moment I suppose. But lucky for you he seems decent when he is in his secure place. Its a very interesting phobia.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Nothing worse than a drunk acquaintance that wants to start stuff with strangers or other friends.

Should have dressed him up like Bernie from "weekend at Bernie's" may have been a hit? Haha

Had a buddy we used to go drinking with. Really cool, until drunk. F'n AH! He'd hit on girls when their man went to the restroom, that kind of stuff. We'd try to corral him, smooth things over...for a bit. Then, every third time, we'd just watch. He straightened out after a few tune ups.

I always have wondered though how people that have agoraphobia makes friends like you @monkeyswrench. Its a very interesting phobia.

Some of us just get along with weird people. I've had enough bizarre clients and a bit of an odd family life, mix that with people I've worked with and jobs I've done...pretty messed up baseline for reality. I'm just bright enough to carry on a reasonably intelligent conversation with educated people, but enough scars and history to talk with veterans and even ex-convicts.
You know as well as I do, there's a fair amount of both up here. All walks of life. People are people...the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

I like weird people. They usually help me think outside the box when I'm in a bind.

 

[96scarab]

I call BS.. So you do a lot of work for this guy ( probably not anymore if he reads the shit talking your posting about him) you drive his truck all the time but didn't know he drinks and smoked??'

 

[Water Romper]

I call BS.. So you do a lot of work for this guy ( probably not anymore if he reads the shit talking your posting about him) you drive his truck all the time but didn't know he drinks and smoked??'

I'm reading this thread, had to look up Agoraphobic myself (see below), but 96 may have a point, I'm sure its not your first rodeo with this guy, A guy doesn't hit a whole bottle of Crown in 3 slugs out of the blue (damn that would kill me) the guy has serious issues and alcohol is only one of them. You invited him, it does sound like by your story you were a pretty straight up guy dealing with his "sickness" but were you expecting a different result?

Agoraphobia

• An anxiety disorder characterized by a fear of certain places and situations that the person believes is difficult to escape from, such as open spaces and public transport.

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

I call BS.. So you do a lot of work for this guy ( probably not anymore if he reads the shit talking your posting about him) you drive his truck all the time but didn't know he drinks and smoked??'

Take your time and read the story. OP says the guy keeps smokes on him all time and makes mention of the drinking just not being aware of The heavy drinking.

 

[monkeyswrench]

96 only seems to pop in to stir the pot. No big deal.

Yes, I knew he drank, but not to that level. Not so much a guy I've done anything social with. As for driving his truck, he's had me pickup vehicles and such, even his toyhauler when he bought it due to the mountain location it was at. Smoking, yes, he smokes all the time. Thus the statement I made in reference to him usually having his smokes on him.

So there's the general "Cliff's Notes" version for those who's reading comprehension, or retention, may be lacking.

Whatever, call BS, keep scrolling or GTFO...no one makes you read the words, and probably few care what is thought or said anyway.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I'm reading this thread, had to look up Agoraphobic myself (see below), but 96 may have a point, I'm sure its not your first rodeo with this guy, A guy doesn't hit a whole bottle of Crown in 3 slugs out of the blue (damn that would kill me) the guy has serious issues and alcohol is only one of them. You invited him, it does sound like by your story you were a pretty straight up guy dealing with his "sickness" but were you expecting a different result?

Agoraphobia

• An anxiety disorder characterized by a fear of certain places and situations that the person believes is difficult to escape from, such as open spaces and public transport.

To be honest, I knew crowds would be an issue...I just thought more along the lines of anxiety? Agoraphobic is only what I called it, I don't think he's ever been to a doctor. I never would have thought to take him if I understood to what level his issues were. I just figured pop in, look around and split before the crowds. I was hoping it would be a good chance for him to see stuff he'd never see. Stuff most of us would never see. Definitely a steep learning curve. Like I said, didn't realize he was a bit past just being nervous around people.

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

I commend you for doing such a thing as you said you exposed him to things he may never see if he hadn't been asked by someone like yourself. Your a heck of a guy and I'm sure this experience will be good for the both of you.

 

[monkeyswrench]

I commend you for doing such a thing as you said you exposed him to things he may never see if he hadn't been asked by someone like yourself. Your a heck of a guy and I'm sure this experience will be good for the both of you.

He had asked me to take him out to see Pirate's. I asked him if he wanted to see the boats. Figured it was a win/win. For the most part, it was. At least now I have a baseline... I sure as hell didn't before apparently.

I'm thinking Monday he'll probably appologize, and I'll give him crap. We'll still be on good terms. He's a nice guy. I first met him when I was working on my house up here, and sprung a gnarly fuel leak on my Powerstroke. All I had up here at the time was home improvement tools. He let me use his garage and tools. Didn't know me from Adam.

Always an adventure! The older I get, the more "normal" seems to be less of anything, and more of a word.

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

Dude, I always find that these relationships are the one that last. I bet money you'll find he's more comfortable with you and you know where he is and you will talk about this moment for years around campfires. I know it was awkward for you but this is what brings men together.

I just had a nieghbor pass to the other side the guy was a Havasu rat from the 60/70's and every time I would pull my boat out and fire it up he would wander over. When he was diagnosed with cancer I started taking care of his lawn and in his last days I found myself propping him up in bed to get comfortable for Him to talk this wife. Never in a million years did I see myself doing this but I think about him every day now.

 

[The Prisoner]

I had a friend in the early 2000’s who was a full blown alcoholic..a time or 2 I would let him crash on my recliner after we partied and the thing that threw me for a loop was in the morning. I would get up and watch some tv and have a coffee. Then he would open his eyes, reach over, and finish the open, warm, flat crummy beer from the night before. The next morning for me if you even mention beer my stomach does flip flops.

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

I had a friend in the early 2000’s who was a full blown alcoholic..a time or 2 I would let him crash on my recliner after we partied and the thing that threw me for a loop was in the morning. I would get up and watch some tv and have a coffee. Then he would open his eyes, reach over, and finish the open, warm, flat crummy beer from the night before. The next morning for me if you even mention beer my stomach does flip flops.

Damn that guy is tougher than woodpecker lips haha

 

[Lumpy]

To Desert Storm street party! Well, anywhere, for that matter!


I do a lot of work for a guy out here. Nice guy, doesn't leave his property much at all. He knows I have a place in Topoc, and had asked if he could come out with me so he could check out Pirates Cove. He has a toyhauler and a SxS, thought it would be a neat place to head in fall. "Sure, why not?"...

A week ago I tell him I'm going out for Thursday's street party. He's now thinking he'll pass. Cool, no big deal. Wednesday night, just getting ready to head out, he texts me. "Hey, I want to go. Swing by and we'll take my truck. You can drive." Nothing really abnormal, I drive his truck a lot. Fluid situation, "Sure, why not?"...

I get there, he's maybe a little amped, but I figure he's just kind of nervous. As we're maybe 15 miles down the road...the rest of the bottle he must have pounded starts to hit him...well F'k! He passed out, out like a ton of bricks smashed him. As best I can figure, he drank enough to get the guts to ask to go, and then finished it off scared that he did.

Get to the riverpad. He's out. Try to wake him up, kind of slurred response. F'k! Well, I tried to get him up a few times, to no avail. About 2am, "Yep, he's still breathing", I shower, and go to bed. I leave his ass in the truck.

About 8am, I do manage to wake him up. He's not hungover, he's still pretty lit. F'k! He hops in the shower, we head to breakfast. He drinks ice tea and eats...nope, still lit after food and shower. I take him over to Pirate's, and get the info packet from the office. (BTW, office girls were very nice. Only ever dealt with grumpy one's early Saturday mornings. I like the ones there weekdays!)

Now, off to Havasu...the only reason I am out there. During this whole morning, he's been pretty much chain smoking...I must smell like a bar. He's doing ok, but still pretty lit. We get to the street party about 12:30. We get about 1/2 a block, he needs to go back for a cigarette. Now, he almost always keeps smokes on him. Whatever...don't think much of it. We go a bit further next try. Well, he asks for the keys, to go back and have another smoke. I told him "If you get drooling drunk, I'm leaving you in the desert". He says he'll be good. He actually got a malt. About half way walking...maybe about the RDP booth...he wants the keys, and says he'll just be down by the truck. It was about 1:30, and just starting to get a little busy.

I walked up, and back down. Pretty much time to go. On the way out of town, stopped to fuel up the truck. He gets out, asks if I need anything. He comes back with 2 packs of smokes, and a bottle of Crown.

He finished the bottle in about 3 hits...about Kingman. He was out again.

Got back to his pad. Pulled my stuff out, and put it in my car. He mumbled a slurred thank you. I think he actually did appreciate the trip, just not the everything else. Man, he has some issues...

I left him in his truck, and headed home.
"Sure, why not?"...because no good deed goes unpunished.

At least I still got to go to the street party. A little differently than expected, but still went.

I can relate to this....

Was in Havi about 7 years ago...long story short...thru social media a friend came out and met us from back in the day.
My girl at the time and I had to babysit said friend and his girl friend for a day. Thank god it was only one day out of four.
Some people are just plain train wrecks and don't know how to handle themselves. Anyhow, it was only a disaster for a day.

 

[Lumpy]

Find your friend one of these.....haha

 

[Rondog4405]

Nothing worse than nursing shitfaced fuckers.. hate that shit

 

[Willie B]

...This is somewhat the story of about 1965 with me...19 years old..,we were always able to get beer one way or another ...there was always somebody that just couldn’t hang..,so what did we do...we became very proficient at babysitting???...Got to remember this was before marijuana..,

 

[monkeyswrench]

Find your friend one of these.....haha

View attachment 995813

Had to laugh, first thing I thought of was a Lambda meter for exhaust! Too rich, too lean!

 

[monkeyswrench]

...This is somewhat the story of about 1965 with me...19 years old..,we were always able to get beer one way or another ...there was always somebody that just couldn’t hang..,so what did we do...we became very proficient at babysitting???...Got to remember this was before marijuana..,

Guess there's a difference there. With pot, just give them a bag of chips and the remote, and they babysit themselves.

 

[Willie B]

Guess there's a difference there. With pot, just give them a bag of chips and the remote, and they babysit themselves.

..,LOL... pretty much it...The shit we used to do with marijuana when it first came around... like an ounce of pot in big pot of spaghetti... I don’t think anybody got up from the table for a 2 or 3 hours...

 

[BHC Vic]

96 only seems to pop in to stir the pot. No big deal.

Yes, I knew he drank, but not to that level. Not so much a guy I've done anything social with. As for driving his truck, he's had me pickup vehicles and such, even his toyhauler when he bought it due to the mountain location it was at. Smoking, yes, he smokes all the time. Thus the statement I made in reference to him usually having his smokes on him.

So there's the general "Cliff's Notes" version for those who's reading comprehension, or retention, may be lacking.

Whatever, call BS, keep scrolling or GTFO...no one makes you read the words, and probably few care what is thought or said anyway.

Didn’t realize it was his thing. What a tool bag

 

[monkeyswrench]

Didn’t realize it was his thing. What a tool bag

Don't worry, pops up a few times a year to "mouth off"...my guess is he's never been on an oldschool jobsite swinging a hammer

 

[96scarab]

Don't worry, pops up a few times a year to "mouth off"...my guess is he's never been on an oldschool jobsite swinging a hammer

Funny coming from a guy that doesn't have a "job"

 

[monkeyswrench]

Funny coming from a guy that doesn't have a "job"

Hmm, let me see, several properties done and paid for, kids doing well in school...oh, and since nothing I own outright was payed for via a trust fund, I'd say I just may have put in some hours...and still do.

You know, your negativity may eat you alive. You only show up to be a prick. Really, look at your posts.

Some bring joy with their presence, others, with their leaving...
You sir, are a bit different. You bring spite upon your arrival, and indifference upon departure.

Let me translate that, as we know there are some with reading comprehension issues:
You're a dick when you're here, and nobody notices when you leave.

 

[96scarab]

I'm negative because you don't have a job?

 

[jetboatperformance]

LOl this thread went down as fast as the Drunk on a Crown bottle .... sorry to hear about this , sounds like you were trying to help a person who didnt want to help themselves

 

[monkeyswrench]

LOl this thread went down as fast as the Drunk on a Crown bottle .... sorry to hear about this , sounds like you were trying to help a person who didnt want to help themselves

It was a learning experience, that's for sure! I still do work for the guy, but he isn't going to be invited out for any family trips, that's for sure. I'm pretty sure that may have been the last time he left the neighborhood, with the exception of a doctor's appointment his wife took him to a few weeks ago. I think he's fairly content on his property.
His poor toy hauler has maybe been out twice in two years.