Employees....You just can't make this stuff up.

[Cobalt232]

We run 3 shifts. I get it, the overnight shift is hard.

We have heard a thousand reasons why employees call out or leave early, but here is a new one.

I saw this message in Slack this morning when I woke up from our overnight production lead:

"XXXXX has left early tonight due to have pain from getting her braces tightened."

 

[PDQH20]

No doubt you've heard all kinds of excuses and most are likely bogus but this one may be legit. I take it that you've never experienced the joy of having them adjusted. They can be excruciating for days afterward.

 

[TeamGreene]

Use to frame houses and the hardest part was the emlpoyees. Had a guy once that always had turmoil at home "me and my ol lady were fighting" was a constant. So one morning he walks up and is limping so I ask what's up? He says I can't work today because I only have one shoe. Fight ended up with him getting locked out with just his right shoe.

 

[Cobalt232]

No doubt you've heard all kinds of excuses and most are likely bogus but this one may be legit. I take it that you've never experienced the joy of having them adjusted. They can be excruciating for days afterward.

I did, but it was 40 years ago. I don't remember it being that bad, but I guess everyone's tolerance is different.

 

[Willow Rat]

I had a guy tell me he can't help it if the bimbos he hooks up with at the bar don't set the alarm correctly. LOL

It was not long until he was fired.

 

[BingerFang]

It did hurt like a mother fucker when they would crank those bad boys down. Didn't want to eat, drink or talk for at least 12 hours but my mom still my ass go to school. lol!

 

[nowski]

Here's my classic excuse: Back in the early 80's I hop on the freeway to make my daily commute from Covina to Pico Rivera. The 10 freeway was a parking lot do to a fatal accident near the 10 / 605 interchange. I get off at the first exit and head back home. I get on the phone and call work to tell them about the parking lot I encountered on the 10 freeway. I tell my boss I won't be in today I'm going surfing, boss says ok I'll see you tomorrow. My boss never heard that excuse before so he decided to share it with my coworkers for a good laugh.

I grab my board, out the door and head to one of my favorite surf spots Brooks St in Laguna. I get to work the next day and was amazed by how many people asked how were the waves yesterday, not knowing that the word had gotten out. I said double overhead and it was an epic day. Another coworker asked why did you call out and tell the boss you were going surfing? My reply, I wasn't going to lie to my boss and thought honesty was the best policy...

 

[Willow Rat]

I rarely miss work. Once I was headed to the river and had to call in. I told my boss I went to Dr. to have my hemorrhoids checked. His recommendation was to soak them in some ice cold river water. He loved it.

 

[River Runnin]

And nobody there to offer a mouth and throat massage? Greeze!

 

[The Prisoner]

Don’t know about braces but my front tooth is an implant. Every 7 years or so the crown falls off and when the dentist glues it then pushes up so hard it feels like a hangover headache the rest of the day. I am the boss so can’t call in.

 

[redone76]

Had a guy call out because he said his dog was barking at a tree and he had to wait for animal control...

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

No doubt you've heard all kinds of excuses and most are likely bogus but this one may be legit. I take it that you've never experienced the joy of having them adjusted. They can be excruciating for days afterward.

Take some IB and get to work.....

 

[framer1]

You guys are lucky...my guys never called at all.

 

[Cobalt232]

I have posted this one in the past, but we had a guy leave early because his feet were cold.

We had another guy that went to a Sunday street fair and got drunk in the afternoon. He went home to sleep it off but woke up at 7:00 PM thinking it was 7:00 AM and rushed into work.

 

[Dana757]

We had a guy during the middle of the workday jump on his Harley and haul ass. Didn't say a word to anyone. The next day I asked him what was up with yesterday. He looked at me with wild eyes and said "FUCKING ALIANS WERE AFTER ME. I HAD TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!". LOL

 

[Your ad here]

Honestly I would consider that a legit reason. I recall banging my head on the wall at Marie Calendars on Del Obispo after getting my braces adjusted one time because it hurt so fucking bad. I couldn't even eat soup or take a drink of water. It was beyond crying painful. I hurt just to smile with my lips closed.

 

[AzMandella]

I did, but it was 40 years ago. I don't remember it being that bad, but I guess everyone's tolerance is different.

It also depends on how crooked your teeth are to start . But yes I know that excruciating pain after tightening . Could not even let the top teeth touch the bottom as it was a new experience in pain .

 

[lbhsbz]

It also depends on how crooked your teeth are to start . But yes I know that excruciating pain after tightening . Could not even let the top teeth touch the bottom as it was a new experience in pain .

Agreed. I remember being careful just breathing because it felt like all my teeth were gonna pop out. I'm glad those days are behind me.

 

[Jetboatjosh]

I had a pallet spreader as a kid with my braces, holy shit that was some pain!

 

[lakemadness]

Shit, I've forgotten so many stupid ridiculous stories. Thankfully I have a few people between me and the workforce now. One did make its way up to me this past Monday. A weekend cashier didn't show up because her husband got shot 8 times by their neighbor. I'll be damned, it was true...

My dad had a guy working for him that was a really good fabricator. But he never worked a full week. At their holiday party he asked him why he only worked 4 days a week. The guys response- "Because I can't get by on 3 days a week"

 

[GRADS]

My wife had a guy tell her he had to go home because his wife was trapped in the bathroom because there was a bee in the house. No joke.

 

[spectra3279]

We run 3 shifts. I get it, the overnight shift is hard.

We have heard a thousand reasons why employees call out or leave early, but here is a new one.

I saw this message in Slack this morning when I woke up from our overnight production lead:

"XXXXX has left early tonight due to have pain from getting her braces tightened."

That shit hurts. I remember that pain. Every step jars them and if it's physical work every heart beat pulses the pain.

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[RIVERDAZE]

We had one guy quit that told us work was interfering with his home life! ... so you want to try home life without an income and see how that goes?... good luck!

 

[PDQH20]

I did, but it was 40 years ago. I don't remember it being that bad, but I guess everyone's tolerance is different.

Fortunately, mine were when I was kid, full set of R/R tracks cemented bands and all. Once a month I'd have have an adjustment and sometimes it seemed like the guy used an impact on them.

Then there were times when the main wire was cut too short and would pop out of the band... right through my cheek at the most inopportune moment. Never had to miss work, but I sure remember those fun times.

 

[Cobalt232]

That shit hurts. I remember that pain. Every step jars them and if it's physical work every heart beat pulses the pain.

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OK, I'll let that one pass. How about the "food poisoning" employees have on Mondays or Fridays?

 

[82daytona]

Between employees and chasing clients for checks nothing surprises me anymore

 

[gqchris]

At my "day" job, we have "Personal Days". No Questions asked, just take it off.

But I never do. Even when I am hung over or feeling like shit, I still get my ass to work. I don't know. I justcant shake the hustle I have. My wife always gives me shit and says I can never call in, and she is right. I need to tone it back a bit and start smelling the roses.

 

[TrollerDave]

I had a pallet spreader as a kid with my braces, holy shit that was some pain!

Eff that thing! I hated it! Tie a string to the key so it doesn’t fall down your throat.

 

[Ladsm]

Eff that thing! I hated it! Tie a string to the key so it doesn’t fall down your throat.

I had that damn thing 2x, age 13 and 25. Ever since then I where my retainers no matter what.

 

[attitude]

I’ve had 15 teeth pulled and braces on for a a total of 5 years with them being pulled off at put back on once. My roots on my teeth are abnormally large which is why I had to get my baby teeth pulled and then when braces came they really had to crank down on them because my adult teeth didn’t like to move. Once a month for a week I would eat nothing but deal taco burritos that I would peel into bit sized peace’s. I have not been back to the dentist since my retainers were made...

 

[ElAzul]

I’ve had 15 teeth pulled and braces on for a a total of 5 years with them being pulled off at put back on once. My roots on my teeth are abnormally large which is why I had to get my baby teeth pulled and then when braces came the really had to crank down on them because my adult teeth didn’t like to move. Once a month for a week I would eat nothing but deal taco burritos that I would peel into bit sized peace’s. I have not been back to the dentist since my retainers were made...

Same here plus some more. That shit literally made talking hurt and God forbid you clacked yore teeth together on accident

 

[DWC]

YEARS ago we had a guy call in because there was an Earthquake. He lived in Cerritos. It was something like a 5.0 in the Valley. He was shocked that everyone else came into work. Same guy had 2 flat tires and several dead batteries. When we went back an looked it was always after a Raider home game. Damn, i missed that guy.

 

[attitude]

Same here plus some more. That shit literally made talking hurt and God forbid you clacked yore teeth tifton accident

The wire they would replace and then cut or bend wrong was terrible, even after 5 years that thing would slice right through your cheek and would make moving your mouth impossible lol.

 

[Motor Boater]

We have a girl at the office that only takes her PTO for fun trips so she comes to the office when she’s sick so she doesn’t waste any days. It’s a lot of fun.

 

[havasujeeper]

One day, I was on a friend's sailboat, sailing with some great sun, great wind, and great beer.
This was before cell phones, and it was necessary to call in sick. We used his marine band radio to patch a call to my boss. I thought I was going to get away with it, until the lady tells my boss, "This is Long Beach Marine band operator, stand by for a call." Since I was already 3 sheets into the wind, it was hard to keep a straight face as I slurred my words saying that I had the flu. The next day, the boss was cool and said that in his 40 years, he had never heard such BS. He never said another word about it.

 

[RitcheyRch]

Had a coworker call in saying he would not be in because the brake lights on his car were not working and he was worried about getting in an accident.

 

[Uncle Dave]

We run 3 shifts. I get it, the overnight shift is hard.

We have heard a thousand reasons why employees call out or leave early, but here is a new one.

I saw this message in Slack this morning when I woke up from our overnight production lead:

"XXXXX has left early tonight due to have pain from getting her braces tightened."

Ive actually heard that one and apparently it can be really painful.

That said - If thats how you chose to use your PTO thats your call.

 

[bilz]

Before cell phones, I was calling in sick from the Glamis store. Right when the bosses answer machine started to record, this guy fires up a rail with a tri mil exhaust. I had to leave my message because I had no more change to call again. I told him it was a hair dryer.

 

[500bbc]

Maybe it's the boss?
Worked for a framing contractor years ago that would have us meet him at his bar, that was across the street from a strip club, every Thursday after work to get paid. He'd buy us all the drinks we wanted, pay us in cash then would bitch at us every Monday because no one showed up on Friday.

 

[ltbaney1]

i worked at Turners back in the day. 6 of us, the whole afternoon shift, called in sick one right after another from the backside of catalina. figured we were good because we were with GM of the store, assistant manager was pissed.

 

[scouter]

37 years ago, when I started my career, I had a coworker who just didn't show up for 3 or 4 days. When she finally returned to work, the boss asked her where she had been. Her response.... I couldn't come into work because I was invisible.......

 

[RadMan]

15 years ago a guy called in saying he got bit in the head by a snake, Austin hill country. We believe it was a rat snake in the big hanging flower pot above his head on his home porch. LOL, guy was a dumbass and not long for that job anyway.

 

[Bear Down]

We have a girl at the office that only takes her PTO for fun trips so she comes to the office when she’s sick so she doesn’t waste any days. It’s a lot of fun.

I do the same.. go into work sick, dying, hungover or even with a doctors note... but when I take a last minute PTO, never a question or argument.

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[lakemadness]

Before cell phones, I was calling in sick from the Glamis store. Right when the bosses answer machine started to record, this guy fires up a rail with a tri mil exhaust. I had to leave my message because I had no more change to call again. I told him it was a hair dryer.

I've always wondered, when someone does this, do they think their boss is an idiot? Did you you think he thought it was real?

 

[Water Romper]

It did hurt like a mother fucker when they would crank those bad boys down. Didn't want to eat, drink or talk for at least 12 hours but my mom still my ass go to school. lol!

Yup, headache, ear aches, just over all a huge pain. Braces suck (but worth it)

 

[spectra3279]

OK, I'll let that one pass. How about the "food poisoning" employees have on Mondays or Fridays?

That's just the beer shits

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[Uncle Dave]

OK, I'll let that one pass. How about the "food poisoning" employees have on Mondays or Fridays?

I had a guy try that line once.

Food poisoning my ass. Guy pulled that shit at a tradshow.

I reminded him that myself and 2 other guys took him to his room using a wheelchair the night before because he was so drunk he couldnt walk.

You can party all night and Ill even buy the drinks, but you have to show up the next day.

Fuckin lightweights.

 

[Dettom]

“I have a problem with my eyes. Just can’t see myself coming to work today”. Best one I ever heard.

 

[ltbaney1]

“I have a problem with my eyes. Just can’t see myself coming to work today”. Best one I ever heard.

we call that "anal glaucoma" just cant see my ass coming in today.

 

[wallnutz]

Shit, I've forgotten so many stupid ridiculous stories. Thankfully I have a few people between me and the workforce now. One did make its way up to me this past Monday. A weekend cashier didn't show up because her husband got shot 8 times by their neighbor. I'll be damned, it was true...

My dad had a guy working for him that was a really good fabricator. But he never worked a full week. At their holiday party he asked him why he only worked 4 days a week. The guys response- "Because I can't get by on 3 days a week"

"Because I can't get by on 3 days a week" I had a guy tell me that before. So I told him I would cut his pay so he could work all week.