How do you mess with your wife / husband?

[coolchange]

Every once in a while when she will text me I will start a reply with just one word and then just start tapping the next words on the suggested box.

She might ask what I want for dinner. Then I reply;

I’m not sure what to say but if it’s a good time for us I will just go back to work tomorrow to get the money.



The entire paragraph above was tapping the auto fill. I can keep her going for quite awhile before she gets pissed!
I’m such a dick

 

[napanutt]

Every once in a while when she will text me I will start a reply with just one word and then just start tapping the next words on the suggested box.



I’m not sure what to say but if it’s a good time for us I will just go back to work tomorrow to get the money.



The entire paragraph above was tapping the auto fill. I can keep her going for quite awhile before she gets pissed!
I’m such a dick

We play the gif game daily.

 

[4Waters]

I scare the shit out of her, and the kids for that matter, hide in the bathroom, closet, around the corner and jump out

 

[DWC]

Dog sit my daughter’s GSP and tell her we’re getting a puppy.

 

[DWC]

I scare the shit out of her, and the kids for that matter, hide in the bathroom, closet, around the corner and jump out

PS. That’s F’d up! Only good part about the kids moving out is they don’t do that stuff anymore.

 

[Gelcoater]

Today my wife was going to screw a nozzle onto the garden hose.
So I turned on the water while she tried.

 

[185EZ]

Mrs EZ thought it funny to blast the car horn when I was in front of her car
I said paybacks are hell
Next morning when she was sound asleep I gave her a big bear hug
The screams were music to my ears

 

[4Waters]

PS. That’s F’d up! Only good part about the kids moving out is they don’t do that stuff anymore.

They do it to me, at least they try. It’s getting harder they don't scare as easy any more, last time I tried to get my daughter she said "Hi dad"

 

[SixD9R]

You guys are too mild.
I sometimes sneak into the bathroom when she’s not looking and take a big ol dump with the door open. The aroma radiates through most of the first floor.

 

[941Punk]

I know better and don't.

 

[2Driver]

Take screen shot of her iPhone home page then bring up the picture and put her phone back.. She will pick up the phone and think her phone is frozen.

 

[SnoC653]

I don’t do it to mess with, BUT I help out and turn the fencer off so she won’t get shocked and she flips the switch the other way and then gets shocked anyways. And yes it says off and on, so totally not my fault.

 

[HNL2LHC]

Dog sit my daughter’s GSP and tell her we’re getting a puppy. View attachment 1060372

Just talked to the wife on the same thing at dinner. Our friends are hoping to have a litter this or next month. LOL. Gen actually was good with it tonight. LOL

 

[HNL2LHC]

Mrs EZ thought it funny to blast the car horn when I was in front of her car
I said paybacks are hell
Next morning when she was sound asleep I gave her a big bear hug
The screams were music to my ears

I do that to the wife as well. She is kind enough to get out of the car and open the gate for me. I pay her back by honking the horn. She HATES it. Tonight at dinner at Shogun the chef decided to do the bottle trick where the person they point to thinks that it is spraying the liquid out. Everyone at the table was laughing but the wife. She is a little skiddish these day. She laughes after the heart gets going again.

 

[Activated]

I pretty much respond to her texts with the eggplant emoji.

Wife-What should we have for dinner tonight? Me
Wife-What do you want to do next weekend? Me
Wife-What should I plan for food for the river? Me
Wife-Will you open a bottle of wine? Me

She is pretty sure she married a 12 year old. Lol

 

[Boatymcboatface]

I learned a trick from a old Mexican dude that works on the crew at one of my customers golf courses. He made a “hmm” noise after the super got through explaining what he wanted him to do next. I told the super I think he just told you to F off! The old dude just smiled and walked away. We both had a good laugh.

Let’s just say I may or may not use that sound around my house way more than I ever expected. Then I made the mistake of telling her that story and we’ll I’ve got a new sound every few weeks until she catches on to it then I switch it up again.

 

[Ziggy]

Toss a small cup of cool tap water over the shower curtain

 

[4Waters]

Toss a small cup of cool tap water over the shower curtain

Done that, she's done that to me as well

 

[Ziggy]

Done that, she's done that to me as well

We've both sprayed through the screen with the hose at some point. We, well mostly I, have tamed down the heart attack pranks. We ain't no 20somethings no more

 

[4Waters]

While she is in the shower (try to time it for when she is rinsing her hair) I'll go to the other bathroom and turn the hot water on in the shower and freeze her

 

[Activated]

A perfect example. She stayed home and I went to the river…she had a ladies dinner tonight and has work to do all weekend. So I went to the river to get a few thing done and to relax.

 

[Orange Juice]

 

[Mandelon]

Once I switched her clothes around the drawers in her dresser. So everything was in a new location. LOL

Hide all her underwear except for the really tiny ones.

Move her toothpaste way to the back of the drawer.

 

[LHC Kirby]

Say “hi what’s new” lol

 

[jetboatperformance]

When she's going to shoot the handguns , I dump the mag in , rack the slide and check the safety , She says "Let me do that, how am I going to learn" , I say its automatic for me ...

 

[Shlbyntro]

When she's going to shoot the handguns , I dump the mag in , rack the slide and check the safety , She says "Let me do that, how am I going to learn" , I say its automatic for me ...

So what you're saying is you Alec's armorer... got it.

 

[jetboatperformance]

No LOL Rhonda's Armorer

 

[Nordie]

I do small pranks with the wife, I have to sleep next to her.

At work it's fair game, brake horn prank, hot sauce in someone's can of chew, etc....

 

[throttle]

On a recent trip to Maui I thought it was pretty funny to back the jeep up to a bathroom door. She did not agree with “funny”

 

[Bigbore500r]

Sometimes I’ll say hi, usually I just breath

 

[HOOTER SLED-]

When she's not looking....put it in her butt..

 

[ltbaney1]

I wake up

 

[Desert Whaler]

…. My Dad was ALWAYS an early-riser …. 50+ years w/ my Mom…. When he finally retired … he F’d around…. One trick he did w/ my Mom was to ‘sleep-in’ …. Till my Mom would freak-out & push on him in the morning to wake-up …. He’d push-it till she’d freak-out , & then JUMP & say ‘BOOH’ ! … total dick-move ! My Mom was sooooo pissed !!!

 

[Rayson1971]

Wife and I would hide dryer sheets where each would find them. I put one in her bra and she found it like weeks later.

 

[Desert Whaler]

Wife and I would hide dryer sheets where each would find them. I put one in her bra and she found it like weeks later.

. . . Bruh . . . i'm a fat-ass old-kook . . . . nevermind . . . .

 

[Xtrmwakeboarder]

I scare the shit out of her, and the kids for that matter, hide in the bathroom, closet, around the corner and jump out

Same. Daily.

My mona Lisa was waking up at 2am and shaking the shit out of the bed while yelling earthquake. She’s terrified of earthquakes so I almost pissed myself laughing so hard.

 

[4Waters]

Same. Daily.

My mona Lisa was waking up at 2am and shaking the shit out of the bed while yelling earthquake. She’s terrified of earthquakes so I almost pissed myself laughing so hard.

Damn, I don't know if I'm that mean, I'll have to think about that

 

[LazyLavey]

when it comes to pranks my wife has NO sense of humor....

until I nail somebody else.....

 

[Lunatic Fringe]

We were watching AFV years ago and saw this and I thought it was funny.
I do it to her on occasion and she'll generally throw out a weak mashed potato move but sometimes I get the look that says, " Unlock this Mother F'n door or I'll tear it off the hinges and club you over the head with it".

Those times aren't as much fun.

 

[liquid addiction]

At our old house I could stand on the toilet and look over the shower. I would try to do this as she rinsing her hair. Scare the shit out of her when she opened her eyes and saw my big head looking over the top.

 

[Kachina26]

I scare the shit out of her, and the kids for that matter, hide in the bathroom, closet, around the corner and jump out

The problem with that one is when they get older, they tend to dump all the coolant after a good scare if you know what I mean. Thank god for tile flooring.

You guys are too mild.
I sometimes sneak into the bathroom when she’s not looking and take a big ol dump with the door open. The aroma radiates through most of the first floor.

Whoever left the sad emoji made me laugh even harder.

 

[port austin pirate]

My daughter, said one that is going around is to ask the wife to pickup some some BLINKER FLUID from the auto parts store or section

 

[Happy Smitty]

Every once in a while when she will text me I will start a reply with just one word and then just start tapping the next words on the suggested box.

She might ask what I want for dinner. Then I reply;

I’m not sure what to say but if it’s a good time for us I will just go back to work tomorrow to get the money.



The entire paragraph above was tapping the auto fill. I can keep her going for quite awhile before she gets pissed!
I’m such a dick

I like it. I'm going to try this one out for weeks and then get some good stuff out of the office today so we should be good

 

[Nordie]

View attachment 1060540

On a recent trip to Maui I thought it was pretty funny to back the jeep up to a bathroom door. She did not agree with “funny”

Next time take a rock and drop it down the chimney, blue water surprise.

I was messing with a buddy that was in an outhouse, I tossed a cinderblock on the roof of it. He opened the door and was just about to walk out when the cinderblock rolled off in front of the open door. I could have freaking killed him.

 

[500bbc]

We used to all pitch rocks at the shitter whenever someone entered. I pitched a rather larger then normal rock once that stuck halfway through the side of one of the old plywood ones.

 

[Nordie]

I'm always in the garage tinkering with something, I have wanted to do this one.

With my luck, eventually I would probably really do it and she wouldn't believe me.

 

[nowski]

I tell her not tonight honey, I have a headache. What comes around goes around...

 

[j21black]

My favorite thing to do is let a nice raunchy silent fart. One of those that burns when it comes out under the covers and then trap her under them.

She loves that.

 

[HB2Havasu]

Take screen shot of her iPhone home page then bring up the picture and put her phone back.. She will pick up the phone and think her phone is frozen.

That’s just plain fucked up. I’m trying that tonight, lol

 

[Tamalewagon]

This thread should be titled all the things you WISH you could do to your spouse...

Half of these while hilarious, would earn you a one way trip to a hole in the desert.