How To help A friend with a drinking problem?

[ChiliPepperGarage]

I have a buddy that works for me and has developed a drinking problem. Recently split with his wife and divorcing and has resulting money issues. Good guy, good worker but the drinking is now interfering with his work. Sleeping in late or not coming in at all.

This past Monday and Tuesday we had a product manufacturer national sales convention in Palm Springs. I didn't go (I'm the GM) but the owner went as well as a few sales people. They all told me my buddy got so drunk Monday night they had to carry him back to his room. The convention started Monday morning at 7AM and he didn't get there until mid day (we have a GPS tracker on his company truck so I can see where it is at any time). One of the sales guys said he wreaked of alcohol when he got there and was loud and very animated. He missed the morning sessions the next day. Then he didn't come to work at all today.

I called him this afternoon and had a long conversation about his drinking and that he has a great opportunity to make a lot of money here but he is going to blow it. He could lose his job as well as custody rights for his kids. He says his kids are all he has right now. I told him to meet me for dinner and we'll talk some more.

So we meet for dinner and as soon as we walk in the restaurant he is loud and kind of in that "I love you man" type mood. I asked him if had been drinking and he insisted that he wasn't but maybe still buzzed from Monday night. So it seems he is in denial and I don't know how to deal with it.

I told him how important it is that he straightens up and starts putting in the hours at work and he agrees. I'll see if he shows up tomorrow morning or not. I'm in the office at 5AM daily and he used to be as well but not lately. I set up a job walk for him at 8AM in Santa Ana so he better make that.

If he is late again I'm not sure how to handle it. I don't have much experience dealing with this type of thing. My ex was a bit of a lush but only on weekends. She was tiny, 100 pounds so one Cosmo and she was buzzed. After two she was blotto but would never acknowledge it, always saying she was fine. This went on until she got popped with w DUI and had to go to AA. She never drank again after that. Maybe I need to narc out my buddy when he is driving!

That's another concern is that he drives a company truck an it is his only vehicle so he's putting the company at risk for a potential law suit if something happens.

His dad lives in Havasu and I thought about calling him but don't want to piss him off.

Any one have experience dealing with drinkers? Advise on how to handle it?

 

[DaytonaBabe]

Yikes. Sorry I don't have any advice, but I wish you luck. Tough situation

 

[GRADS]

This is why you never hire friends. If you think that there is even a remote chance that he is driving the company truck while drunk then you need to cut him loose.

 

[rivermobster]

Write him up and terminate his ass.

If you're Knowingly let him drive a company truck drink, you'll be in deep shit when he hurts someone.

You need to start the paper trail now.

Protect yourself.

Business is business. End of story.

 

[Stainless]

Been through this with two people close to me. In both cases it took an earth shattering intervention for them to quit. They were hit so hard with shock neither of them drank after they hit bottom. I wish I could give you hope, but I tried everything with these two people and no conventional methods worked. Alcohol is such a habitual substance and relatively cheap to escape stress and reality.

 

[spectracular]

Lots of good advice here. My advice would be to let HR know, then pull him aside, express concern, put him on probation and then pull the truck. At this point he should realize that shit just got real (but still has a job) and that you are protecting him, the company, and all of those around him and now it is his choice how to play the hand. You can try to help outside of work, but I'd wager that if shit goes south that there will be significant blowback. That said, I'd still try to help because that's what I would hope someone would do for me if the tables were turned

 

[pronstar]

Sometimes you have to play the heavy...its tough, but you have everything to lose if you don't.

 

[poncho]

Write him up and terminate his ass.

If you're Knowingly let him drive a company truck drink, you'll be in deep shit when he hurts someone.

You need to start the paper trail now.

Protect yourself.

Business is business. End of story.

My approach partially, when I was in business I had 48 employee's under me directly. I rose through the ranks so most of them were co-workers at some point and people I called friends.

I started the 3 strikes rule and had it written up by legal.

Each, late etc. was a strike with a sit down and they signed it....I never missed a day in 5 years so they had nothing to throw back at me.

My talk was "You have the power to fix this and if you don't it's you're fault only" you have 3 chances.

Tough deal Buddy but it sounds like he's on a collision course and there is no reason you have to be part of it.

I like my cold beer but it wont affect my employment, period.

 

[ChiliPepperGarage]

This is why you never hire friends. If you think that there is even a remote chance that he is driving the company truck while drunk then you need to cut him loose.

Actually, we became friends through work. I didn't know him before working there.

The liability thing is a big issue. Maybe I should tell him he can't drive the truck until he gets sober.

This wasn't such a problem until this week. I hadn't seen any indication of problems or driving drunk until today. He was at the conference hotel Monday and Tuesday so wasn't driving.

I'll see what happens in the morning. Hoping he shows up on time and straightens out but may not be that easy for him. Hate to see a good man go down the tubes. I'll do what I can to help him. The owner of the company is too nice and is a push over at times. That's why he has me to be the "dick" and run a tight ship. I'm pretty hard on everyone but try to be very fair. I'm willing to give second chances but can't put the company at risk either.

 

[ChiliPepperGarage]

Lots of good advice here. My advice would be to let HR know, then pull him aside, express concern, put him on probation and then pull the truck. At this point he should realize that shit just got real (but still has a job) and that you are protecting him, the company, and all of those around him and now it is his choice how to play the hand. You can try to help outside of work, but I'd wager that if shit goes south that there will be significant blowback. That said, I'd still try to help because that's what I would hope someone would do for me if the tables were turned

We don't have an HR department, we're not a big company. I'm kind of on track with the rest of your post though. Thanks.

 

[rivermobster]

Actually, we became friends through work. I didn't know him before working there.

The liability thing is a big issue. Maybe I should tell him he can't drive the truck until he gets sober.

This wasn't such a problem until this week. I hadn't seen any indication of problems or driving drunk until today. He was at the conference hotel Monday and Tuesday so wasn't driving.

I'll see what happens in the morning. Hoping he shows up on time and straightens out but may not be that easy for him. Hate to see a good man go down the tubes. I'll do what I can to help him. The owner of the company is too nice and is a push over at times. That's why he has me to be the "dick" and run a tight ship. I'm pretty hard on everyone but try to be very fair. I'm willing to give second chances but can't put the company at risk either.

You will be helping a Lot more by laying down the law Now.

Write him up. And make the penalty for being on the job drunk Instant termination.

Sound harsh, but you will be doing him a huge favor.

(not to mention your company, and anyone he might hurt by his actions)

This is the best way for you to help him out. [emoji106]

 

[spectracular]

We don't have an HR department, we're not a big company. I'm kind of on track with the rest of your post though. Thanks.

No HR,no problem...just document everything from this point forward. CYA

 

[blefever]

Most likely you can't do anything to help him with a drinking problem until he hits rock bottom and decides to do something about it himself. Then you can help him with support on the road to recovery.

The others are right about your company liability and the company truck. As cold as it sounds, you can help him hit bottom by firing him now, (and protect the company) he'll hate you for it but should Thank You later.

I had to call the police and put my own son in jail (probation violation) before he made the decision to quit. Once he did that and started the classes necessary to quit drinking for good, we gave him 100% support. We now have the best relationship any father could wish for, and he did Thank me for doing the hardest thing I have ever had to do.



Good luck.

 

[ChiliPepperGarage]

My approach partially, when I was in business I had 48 employee's under me directly. I rose through the ranks so most of them were co-workers at some point and people I called friends.

I started the 3 strikes rule and had it written up by legal.

Each, late etc. was a strike with a sit down and they signed it....I never missed a day in 5 years so they had nothing to throw back at me.

My talk was "You have the power to fix this and if you don't it's you're fault only" you have 3 chances.

Tough deal Buddy but it sounds like he's on a collision course and there is no reason you have to be part of it.

I like my cold beer but it wont affect my employment, period.

Hey Kenny, how's things with you?

I'm the same way. Hell, if I'm driving the boat I won't have even one drink. If I get pulled over I want to be able to tell the cop I haven't had anything to drink at all. If you tell a cop "I had one beer about 5 hours ago" they hear "I just downed a six pack in the last 15 minutes"! D

 

[pronstar]

Very important:
Document every conversation you've had with him about this issue.

Docs with subject matter and dates have far more legal weight than recollections of conversations...and make no mistake, this is a legal issue.

 

[Ibeplumbing]

Dealt with a situation like this at my last company. I wasn't involved as either person, just a spectator who was friends with both people. Here's the reality. He's not respecting you or the position he's in if he's doing that. He obviously has a problem. Do not sink yourself helping him. By not doing something to stop it you will be the enabler and he may end up killing someone or dead by driving drunk, and you know he is. Take care of it as you would a regular employee, but give a heads up prior to let him know you did your best to help him and he didn't stop. If you show favorites here you could lose respect of others or your job in the end. He's your buddy, you tried to have a conversation and help. Offer one more time to help, but let him know what's going to happen if it doesn't stop. If he still can't stop, it's business. Any reasonable person should understand. It's a shitty deal when these things happen, worse with friends. If you do fire him for this, I would show that you're a real friend and continue to be friends and help him afterwards. It may not go well, but at least you tried to do the best you could, but protected yourself

 

[CampbellCarl]

Al,
You already know that the company and you are at risk...do what you already know you have to do.

Somethings (like late to work) deserve 3 strikes...others (like this issue) deserve termination.

Cut ties now...

 

[jonnyd]

It sounds like you really care about helping your friend. I recommend you contact AA. You may want to go to a meeting yourself and talk to some of the folks in charge. They should be able to give some advice on how to help your friend start the process. It can be a frustrating watching someone spin out of control and for many they have to hit rock bottom before they can pick themselves up. You may want to make AA a requirement of his job since he is driving your company vehicle. Dont let your friendship get in the way of making sound business decisions. It may sound harsh, but your friend knows he's messing up.

 

[GRADS]

You sure it's only alcohol? It could be that his doctor prescribed him some meds to get through the stress of getting divorced. That combined with a little bit of alcohol could make him seem kind of loopy. This could be one reason why he seemed "happy" when you met him for dinner and he said he hadn't been drinking.

 

[coolchange]

Maybe give him a time out as said to think it through. In the company truck is flat out not acceptable. My SiL runs a BIG service company. If you drive in So Cal, SD, Phoenix, Vegas, you have seen their trucks. Vehicle liability has been a big problem in the past. Huge money. Now you won't see one of those trucks going over 65, they're all gps'd with speed alarms, And they have a ZERO bull shit policy.

 

[spectracular]

Like several others have said...explain the rules very carefully to him...then let him make the next move. And then if he is important to you, get him help. Our company does it this way...you get a few chances...unless the situation is extreme...but every employee knows the rules up front...some employees (drivers) must sign the rules every year. You could also do drug tests if you think it would help. If we catch someone under the influence, we always do a drug panel right then...numbers don't lie, and it makes it near impossible to fight.

Whatever you decide, get him out of the truck ASAP.

 

[92562]

I have an employee doing the same thing. After speaking with the corporate attorney I found out that you can't always fire someone for drinking because it has been determined to be a disease! I put my employee on unpaid leave for 30 days and mandated that he enroll in an outpatient treatment program. After 30 days he must provide written proof of active participation and progress in the program. At that point I will re-evaluate his employment. My attorney says that most people do well in the first week or two but ultimately won't make it, so you can fire them. Unfortunately like someone else posted, they have to hit bottom and really want it themselves. Ultimately, your friend had become a liability and is putting you and the rest of the company at risk.

Sorry, no easy answers!

---Rob

 

[poncho]

Hey Kenny, how's things with you?

I'm the same way. Hell, if I'm driving the boat I won't have even one drink. If I get pulled over I want to be able to tell the cop I haven't had anything to drink at all. If you tell a cop "I had one beer about 5 hours ago" they hear "I just downed a six pack in the last 15 minutes"! D

I'm good Buddy, on my way back to Alaska tomorrow. Tough spot, the fact that you have it out like this means your ready to deal with it.

You rode with me and saw how I boat, cold one on ice when the boats on the trailer.

Good luck and call when I get back.

 

[BHC Vic]

I hate to say it I really do but the only way i figured it out was paying lots of money and having the reality of losing my family right in front of me. It's not easy and it's not going to get easier. I absolutely HATE alcohol. It's caused sooooo many problems in my life and my family's. I go to class every Monday and although people say I'm brainwashed it's been a huge help to me to be able to talk to people and admit my problems

 

[C-2]

IMO, a person doesn't need to hit rock bottom to finally understand they can't drink.

He probably knows it already and maybe he's even sick of it (the old saying, "tired of being tired"), but only needs somebody, or something, to get him to stop.

When you have the problem, it's not simply lack of willpower, and unless you have the problem, you don't know what I'm talking about. But, there comes a point when you've had enough. Sounds stupid, but when you're in the shiat, you're scared to stop.

His kids are the path to his salvation.

Remind him about the piece of crap father he is turning into, but that's it's not too late yet, and you are giving him his one Get-out-of-Jail Free-Card.

Give him a copy of the Serenity Prayer, get him to agree to dry out for a few months and encourage him to keep reading that poem. One day, when his mind is out of the funk, the words in that poen will hit him like freight train, and when it does, he will be at peace.

 

[C-2]

I hate to say it I really do but the only way i figured it out was paying lots of money and having the reality of losing my family right in front of me. It's not easy and it's not going to get easier. I absolutely HATE alcohol. It's caused sooooo many problems in my life and my family's. I go to class every Monday and although people say I'm brainwashed it's been a huge help to me to be able to talk to people and admit my problems

Good for you. It will get better and soon, day by day will become year after year.

Then you'll be the old guy on here telling some young guy that it gets better :thumbsup

 

[Tooms22]

Negligent entrustment of a motor vehicle is a real thing. Your company probably has a large insurance policy on its vehicles but the company itself can still be liable if the situation is bad enough.

I had a close family member who was a wake up and drink all day alcoholic. Took 2 DUIs to get him sober for 2 years. All of a sudden he was back at it again. It took crashing a car purchased by a another family member to quit this time. It has been a few months now and he got his first job in 7 years. He will be 58 this year and it got bad 6 years ago. He's always been social drinker.

Some people are rock bottom people and other people can figure it out before rock bottom. The first type are usually sober or drunk and there's no in between. So they have to stop drinking together. I think the second group is a little scarier because they think they caught themselves, so they believe they have control. With this group you are constantly riding the wave of them going a little too hard for a few months and then back to moderate drinking. But you'll notice that they still always need a drink.

I've learned if they're really bad, they can't be convinced to get help. They have to hit the bottom and realize themselves. Don't get pissed or yell... most alcoholics drink because they don't think highly of themselves in the first place. Try to always be supportive even when you want to act like a parent disciplining a child. I can't say I've always been good at this but when my family member was doing well, I always tried to make sure they knew that I supported them. The people who haven't already fallen off a cliff can be convinced that they need to chill out and get some help.

This is just the stuff I've experienced and learned through a little research. This obviously won't apply to every persons situation but it will surprise the hell out of you how most alcoholics have similar behavior.

"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right." - Mitch Hedberg

 

[nowski]

I would sit you co-worker down tell him he is being laid off due to these tough economic times and the financial instability of the company. Offer him a small severance package and Do Not Mention anything about this layoff being a result of a drinking problem.

 

[Hugh Jascaulk]

You can't fire him because he's an alcoholic, but if his job performance is suffering and can't perform up to the standards, you bet your ass he can be fired. Just be sure to document all instances and communications regarding his performance.

 

[HB2Havasu]

I'm guessing since he is still employed with your company that he is provided medical insurance? Since your company is small and does not have an HR representative you as his manager will have to put on your HR hat. Your medical insurance likely provides for substance abuse treatment. I would offer him to seek help or otherwise be terminated.

 

[Stainless]

As several posters stated, he's a huge liability driving a company vehicle impaired. At a minimum I would take that away STAT.

 

[rivermobster]

You can't fire him because he's an alcoholic, but if his job performance is suffering and can't perform up to the standards, you bet your ass he can be fired. Just be sure to document all instances and communications regarding his performance.

Of course not. But you can terminate him for being drunk on the job.

You just have to write him up first, and put your expectations in the write up.

"if this happens again, you will be terminated "

Have him sign it. Done and done.

I was a manager for years for Penski. I Had to be proficient at doing write ups.

 

[Sleek-Jet]

The next time you smell booze on him at work, load him up and straight to the company doctor for a BAC. If he is over the limit take him back to work, call a cab, and hand him his last check. If he's below call him a cab and send him home for a couple of days with a written warning. Then when he does it again fire him. The EAP route only works if he doesn't show up drunk.

 

[rivrrts429]

The next time you smell booze on him at work, load him up and straight to the company doctor for a BAC. If he is over the limit take him back to work, call a cab, and hand him his last check. If he's below call him a cab and send him home for a couple of days with a written warning. Then when he does it again fire him. The EAP route only works if he doesn't show up drunk.

Don't think you can randomly piss test an employee in CA unless he's a commercial driver or has an accident.

We just had a meeting about this and HR is very apprehensive on this subject, including drugs. California is very pro-employee versus AZ where our corporate offices are located.

 

[allblowdup]

Take the truck right away before he hurts someone. Have 5 min meeting with him everyday first thing in the morning if he is late write him up for it if he shows up drunk send him home for the. He will get the picture of whats going to happen and if he doesn't you will have enough info to terminate him.

 

[Cole Trickle]

All you can do is give him a ultimatum....

If you show up drunk or drink at a work function we have to let you go....

If you show up late more than 3 times in the next 6 months we have to let you go....

Perhaps he is just having a rough go at it. Sit him down and let him know you care about him and want him to fix the problem so he can continue to work there but if he is willing to jeopardize the company with his choices he has to go. At the dame time you guys shouldn't be putting him in a position to fail. No more company lunches where the staff has a couple beers. No more dinners/trade shows for him where everyone else is drinking.

Like mentioned most people have to ride the alcoholic train all the way until it crashes and they find rock bottom.....hopefully he is an exception

 

[Long Way Home]

This is what I would today, He's not going to hit bottom until you tell it's the highway or Alcohol Rehab. Alcohol addiction has become a disease, most medical should cover part of this, time off etc.
So he will have to choose what road to take.

 

[Flying_Lavey]

My dad's partner went through this (your position) a few years ago, difference was, the alcoholic was his brother.

The brother was VERY good at his job...... when he was there. He called out so many times my dad's partner had to fire his own brother. They did tell him though that if you go to a treatment program and can show you have been sober for 6 months and are continually going to AA, you can have your job back.

Well it took a couple years but he sobered up, cleaned up and has been back working for my dad and his brother for the last 2 years. He thanks my dad and his brother, and their other partner that passed away a few months ago, constantly for saving his life. He has regained partial custody of his daughter, has a girlfriend and is truly happy.

The AA group he goes to apparently has a lot of really good guys that have truly realized they need to fight for their last chance and my dad's company has hired quiet a few of them from there and has nothing but praise for them.

I'm not sure where the group meets or where your friend lives but if you'd like I could get the information for the group so you could pass it on to your co-worker.

 

[cicchetti_24]

Here is the bottom line having dealt with addiction with my ex-wife and being heavily involved in all the programs trying to find a solution and make them see what they're doing.

There is nothing you can do. My ex-wife lost her RN license over it.

What you need to do is suspend him, and turn your back immediately. That harsh, but all you're doing is enabling his behavior no matter how many conversations you have with him and all his empty promises. An addict will tell you everything under the sun so that they can continue down their destructive path. Either he will get it or he won't and this is the hard reality of the situation.

If you really want more answer go to an Al-anon meeting and see for yourself and listen to what is being said. It's already affecting your job as co-workers are looking to you for answers. My advice is to go to an Al-anon meeting and realize there is nothing you can do, and you need to focus on your company and the people around you.

His kids are all he has? well he doesn't value them enough to get his shit together. Pull the plug suspend him for not complying with the rules for the convention and no show to the office. Maybe at that point losing his kids and his job and a good friend will allow him to see the light. But really it's very doubtful.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I've been through this

 

[Tooms22]

Here is the bottom line having dealt with addiction with my ex-wife and being heavily involved in all the programs trying to find a solution and make them see what they're doing.

There is nothing you can do. My ex-wife lost her RN license over it.

What you need to do is suspend him, and turn your back immediately. That harsh, but all you're doing is enabling his behavior no matter how many conversations you have with him and all his empty promises. An addict will tell you everything under the sun so that they can continue down their destructive path. Either he will get it or he won't and this is the hard reality of the situation.

If you really want more answer go to an Al-anon meeting and see for yourself and listen to what is being said. It's already affecting your job as co-workers are looking to you for answers. My advice is to go to an Al-anon meeting and realize there is nothing you can do, and you need to focus on your company and the people around you.

His kids are all he has? well he doesn't value them enough to get his shit together. Pull the plug suspend him for not complying with the rules for the convention and no show to the office. Maybe at that point losing his kids and his job and a good friend will allow him to see the light. But really it's very doubtful.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I've been through this

Yes. Most people don't want to believe this but 100% yes.

http://www.interventions.net/anopenletterfromanaddict.pdf

It will blow your mind how many alcoholics fit this open letter. I sent it to family members so they could better deal with the addict family member.

 

[pronstar]

Of course not. But you can terminate him for being drunk on the job.

You just have to write him up first, and put your expectations in the write up.

"if this happens again, you will be terminated "

Have him sign it. Done and done.

I was a manager for years for Penski. I Had to be proficient at doing write ups.

Yup...otherwise the employee could simply say "I showed up drunk for YEARS and there was no problem...but I showed up drunk today and now I got fired".

 

[cicchetti_24]

Yes. Most people don't want to believe this but 100% yes.

http://www.interventions.net/anopenletterfromanaddict.pdf

It will blow your mind how many alcoholics fit this open letter. I sent it to family members so they could better deal with the addict family member.

It's the hard reality.. We want to help, but we need to realize all we are doing is hurting ourselves and enabling the addict.

 

[jones performance]

you can talk all you want to the guy, it probably wont change anything. only he can make the decision to stop. it will take a significant event to make him come to his senses, thats what it took for me.

something to keep in mind, can you and the company you work for recover and sustain after a wrongful death lawsuit if he kills someone in the company vehicle while intoxicated? since you know about his drinking issues, kinda makes you liable to some degree i would think.

 

[mbrown2]

Did he show up for the 8am appointment today?

If you have had discussions with him as his employer about his drinking you need to cover yourself and recommend or enforce treatment but also document everything and hold him accountable for doing his job. If he fails after you have recommended/offered treatment and is not able to perform his job; late, not delivering on time, not able to account for time/duties, write him up build a trail and if he does not improve terminate him. However if he shows up to the office under the influence, I would suspend him immediately and remove the truck from the equation. Any violation after that (does not have to be the drinking) he would be terminated.

Most importantly is you have to immediately document the issue and put him notice and that it can result in termination if he fails to comply.

 

[RiverDave]

Did he show up for the 8am appointment today?

This..


By the way I for the most part have always worked for myself past the age of 25 or so.. But back before that when I worked for other people, they could pretty much fire your ass for looking at them wrong? Have things changed that much in the corporate world where you can't fire someone for even be suspected of drinking on the job?

 

[Sleek-Jet]

Don't think you can randomly piss test an employee in CA unless he's a commercial driver or has an accident.

We just had a meeting about this and HR is very apprehensive on this subject, including drugs. California is very pro-employee versus AZ where our corporate offices are located.

Nothing random about it. And it's a breathalyzer, not a piss test.

 

[brgrcru]

nothing anybody can do. until he wants to help himself.
some have hit bottom and stay there.
a very small percentage. I am talking very small. find there way out and stay sober for years. 5-10%.
counselling, re-hab, de-tox, live-in living, 15--30 k a month. :eek or a great ins. plan. all very expensive, and 30 days is nothing. they need to spend a few years away from the booze. not going to happen unless someone is loaded with money.
good luck. some of us have lived with it.

 

[Rajobigguy]

Here is the bottom line having dealt with addiction with my ex-wife and being heavily involved in all the programs trying to find a solution and make them see what they're doing.

There is nothing you can do. My ex-wife lost her RN license over it.

What you need to do is suspend him, and turn your back immediately. That harsh, but all you're doing is enabling his behavior no matter how many conversations you have with him and all his empty promises. An addict will tell you everything under the sun so that they can continue down their destructive path. Either he will get it or he won't and this is the hard reality of the situation.

If you really want more answer go to an Al-anon meeting and see for yourself and listen to what is being said. It's already affecting your job as co-workers are looking to you for answers. My advice is to go to an Al-anon meeting and realize there is nothing you can do, and you need to focus on your company and the people around you.

His kids are all he has? well he doesn't value them enough to get his shit together. Pull the plug suspend him for not complying with the rules for the convention and no show to the office. Maybe at that point losing his kids and his job and a good friend will allow him to see the light. But really it's very doubtful.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I've been through this

Unfortunately, this is the hard truth. I know that you want to help your friend but you really cant. He has to hit bottom before he can turn around. The best way for you to hlep him is try to bring the bottom up to meet him and the longer you wait the harder it will be on him. Everyone always trys to help their friend out and hopes that they can turn them around but if they are truly an alcholic it wont work, al you will do is postpone the ineveitable. I have been down this road with two good firends and my wife and I'm sorry to say that there is nothing you can do but wait and be supportive after the crash and burn.

 

[C-2]

Consider giving it a shot. True, you won't get a medal for doing it, but sometimes, that's what friends do.

"Help" is not firing the guy or implementing the umpteen Captain Obvious employer-employee solutions that are on the rinse-and-repeat cycle in this thread.

Help is...well, trying to help.

My father was an alcoholic and died in a DUI accident when I was 19. His father, my Grandpa was an alcoholic. My Uncle is/was an alcoholic.
I am/was an alcoholic. I knew it, and one month shy of 10 years ago, and at the age of 39, I decided to quit on my own.

My turning point - the love for my daughter. Having her was enough to push me over the edge. No rock bottom, no DUI's, no rehab, I simply quit and never looked back. My Grandpa did the same during his time, as did my Uncle.

My sister and her husband are raging drunks, everyday by 5 she is blasted. But, they don't have kids, live in Crystal Cove and their daily drivers costs more than my house is worth. They also enjoy drinking and drink because it's fun...so hey, have at it. If that's the lifestyle they choose to live and nobody is being harmed in the process - then who am I to say anything? But, I would be there in a heartbeat if she ever decided to stop.

It's a monumental task and nobody will fault you should you choose not to tackle it. But, maybe your friend is an exception, too.

Good luck with it either way

 

[Stainless]

This..


By the way I for the most part have always worked for myself past the age of 25 or so.. But back before that when I worked for other people, they could pretty much fire your ass for looking at them wrong? Have things changed that much in the corporate world where you can't fire someone for even be suspected of drinking on the job?

Not in AZ, employers fire people for cause all the time. They have to follow Federal laws such as age, race, gender, religion etc, but drinking on the clock is a slam dunk.