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I quit my job on Monday

lbhsbz

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Been with the company for a bit over 16 years. I started 2 years after it was founded. Lots of changes over the last 10 years and it's headed in a direction such that for the last couple years I'm not sure I want my name attached to it anymore. I have established myself as pretty much the gold standard of what I did there across the industry...problem is, I'm tired of doing it.

I accepted a position in a department that doesn't yet exist at another, much bigger company...still in the automotive industry but effectively walking away from all that I'm the best at and starting something where there are already plenty of others in the industry that are better than me, doing a job sort of related but completely different than what I did previously.

I got a text from new bossman on sunday that said "are you ready to give notice tomorrow?" We'd chatted a few times over the last year on the phone...I've known him for 15 years or so, and I was not ready for this to happen when it did.

I was shaking so bad the rest of the day, didn't sleep that night, and could barely hit the keys on the keyboard the next morning when I drafted my resignation letter.

I've calmed down considerably now and am starting to put together in my head what I'm gonna do when I get there, and the direction I want to take the new department that I guess its my job to figure out. Last time I changed jobs my only responsibility to come up with $300/month to give to my Dad for rent for my bedroom since I decided not to go to college. Now I have 2 houses worth of mortgage payments, a wife and a kid to support and keep happy. Nervous doesn't begin to describe it. But I hit "send" on monday, and that was that. No risk, no reward...right?

I learned that instead of being a mostly angry asshole like most tell me I am, I'm an emotional little bitch sometimes...and that made me feel like even more of a little bitch. I'm over that now, and it's full speed sideways. I have a shitload to do at the old place, which really isn't my problem anymore but I still give a fuck so I'm at the very least, telling them what needs to change (like I've been telling them for years) to make the place run better in my absence, and actually extended my departure date to compensate for another guy who is out with medical issues for 3 times as long as he should be because he's a pussy. So much for my week off, but I had a hard time leaving them with nobody to cover for a week.

For those who have made major changes in their jobs/careers...how long did it take to get over the initial shock?
 

monkeyswrench

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Mine was different than yours, but scary non the less. The economy dictated my change, with three kids, a steadily employed wife, and a house payment that was a metric ton of stress. It is a life change, not just career. Your mind is set in a routine that is changing. That is what probably has the most effect. It sounds to me like you take things to heart, put effort into your work. That is who you are, not just what you do. Your 300$ monthly as a kid seems cheap now, but it was probably a healthy chunk at the time. You made it work then, you just have become old enough to worry now. Once your mind is occupied by the new endeavor, the shock will fade quickly.

Never lift, and never look back;)
 
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530RL

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The last job I had as an employee was over 30 years ago.

Don’t look back. You will do better on your own.
 

RiverDave

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The last job I had as an employee was over 30 years ago.

Don’t look back. You will do better on your own.
Doesn’t sound like he’s going out on his own.. sounds like he was recruited by another company to do things they don’t do yet.

I am much like yourself.. on my own and never looking back.
 

RiverDave

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Been with the company for a bit over 16 years. I started 2 years after it was founded. Lots of changes over the last 10 years and it's headed in a direction such that for the last couple years I'm not sure I want my name attached to it anymore. I have established myself as pretty much the gold standard of what I did there across the industry...problem is, I'm tired of doing it.

I accepted a position in a department that doesn't yet exist at another, much bigger company...still in the automotive industry but effectively walking away from all that I'm the best at and starting something where there are already plenty of others in the industry that are better than me, doing a job sort of related but completely different than what I did previously.

I got a text from new bossman on sunday that said "are you ready to give notice tomorrow?" We'd chatted a few times over the last year on the phone...I've known him for 15 years or so, and I was not ready for this to happen when it did.

I was shaking so bad the rest of the day, didn't sleep that night, and could barely hit the keys on the keyboard the next morning when I drafted my resignation letter.

I've calmed down considerably now and am starting to put together in my head what I'm gonna do when I get there, and the direction I want to take the new department that I guess its my job to figure out. Last time I changed jobs my only responsibility to come up with $300/month to give to my Dad for rent for my bedroom since I decided not to go to college. Now I have 2 houses worth of mortgage payments, a wife and a kid to support and keep happy. Nervous doesn't begin to describe it. But I hit "send" on monday, and that was that. No risk, no reward...right?

I learned that instead of being a mostly angry asshole like most tell me I am, I'm an emotional little bitch sometimes...and that made me feel like even more of a little bitch. I'm over that now, and it's full speed sideways. I have a shitload to do at the old place, which really isn't my problem anymore but I still give a fuck so I'm at the very least, telling them what needs to change (like I've been telling them for years) to make the place run better in my absence, and actually extended my departure date to compensate for another guy who is out with medical issues for 3 times as long as he should be because he's a pussy. So much for my week off, but I had a hard time leaving them with nobody to cover for a week.

For those who have made major changes in their jobs/careers...how long did it take to get over the initial shock?
So a couple things come to mind here..

1. Stop caring so much about what happens after you leave. Some new guy (idiot) is gonna come in there and do it differently and no matter what they will all fawn all over him like he’s gods gift to earth. One of two things is gonna happen. Either he’s gonna be right in which case you are the idiot. Or he’s gonna fuck it all up in which case he’s gonna point fingers. Either way nobody is gonna be bring up your name in either of those meetings.

2. Have you ever considered the idea that you might be an angry asshole as a protective mechanism to yourself... because deep down you are a sensitive guy that cares too much and is scared that something someone might say will hurt ya?

Most of the guys I know that have walls built up like that are like alligators.. tough on top soft on bottom.
 

lbhsbz

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Doesn’t sound like he’s going out on his own.. sounds like he was recruited by another company to do things they don’t do yet.

I am much like yourself.. on my own and never looking back.
Correct...my balls haven't dropped quite far enough for that yet.
 

lbhsbz

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So a couple things come to mind here..



2. Have you ever considered the idea that you might be an angry asshole as a protective mechanism to yourself... because deep down you are a sensitive guy that cares too much and is scared that something someone might say will hurt ya?
No, WTF is wrong with you?

LOL. That made me think a bit. I'm probably an asshole because I've hated my job for the last 16 years...but's it's been mostly mindless and paid OK and provided some level of security which is why I kept it. Guess I'm over it now.

I'm a nice asshole though...with only the best intentions. Which is why I'm trying to do what I can to fix things in my last 2 weeks...and it's strange...now that everyone has a very clear understanding that none of this will be my problem in 2 weeks, yet I'm still beating that drum...they're starting to listen.
 

530RL

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Doesn’t sound like he’s going out on his own.. sounds like he was recruited by another company to do things they don’t do yet.

I am much like yourself.. on my own and never looking back.

Yeah I got that. I was trying to plant the seed....attempting the pep talk...... :)
 

530RL

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No, WTF is wrong with you?

LOL. That made me think a bit. I'm probably an asshole because I've hated my job for the last 16 years...but's it's been mindless and paid OK and provided some level of security which is why I kept it. Guess I'm over it now.

I have had a lot of employees in my life and I will leave you with one thing to think about.

If someone is generally unhappy, no change in pay or change in responsibilities will change that but for a short period of time. They are unhappy because they believe and know deep down inside that they are capable of more but have yet to make the jump.
 

lbhsbz

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I have had a lot of employees in my life and I will leave you with one thing to think about.

If someone is generally unhappy, no change in pay or change in responsibilities will change that but for a short period of time. They are unhappy because they believe and know deep down inside that they are capable of more but have yet to make the jump.
An old coworker sent me this yesterday...your thoughts are in line.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-happens-right-before-your-best-employee-quits-greg-roche/?trackingId=a3n89VsJR2WLeWKoftBbQA==
 

Xtrmwakeboarder

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How long does it take to get over the shock? About a day for me and then I’m on to bigger and better things. My decision making process is pretty strong, so if i’ve made the decision, I know it’s best for me and my family. If it were me, I’d take the extra week off. Two weeks notice is plenty.
 

buck35

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You've established a good reputation and the new guy hired you for it . Congradulations on the new job,and don't look back!
 

ka0tyk

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I used to change jobs every 2 years. Being in IT it gives me enough time to come in to a world of crap... fix it all for the better, and get bored with it and onto the next.

That being said I'm about to hit 10 years at this place. Its not the most ground breaking work, not fast paced, but its stable and I like the team I'm with. Like you said, responsibilities and family are paramount to anything else at this point.

When did I stop being anxious? When the first paycheck hit the bank. The first couple days learning everyones name and where the bathroom is are the worst. Everyones got a fake smile on and once you all get into "work mode" do things really start to fall into place and you get a feel for who people really are.

I've also learned with the many jumps, that often the grass isnt greener on the other side. You might think the new place is a breath of fresh air and you can make all these decisions and such that your hands were tied on at your last place, only to find out its the same bs with politics, budget, staffing, etc. Be prepared to find yourself saying "well at xxxx we did it this way..." reminiscing on just how good things were at your last place.

Theres a difference between being an asshole, and someone that cuts through the bs and tells it how it is. Also being sarcastic comes off as being "asshole'ish" to many.
 
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mbrown2

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Good luck on the new endeavor...although it sounds noble...I would have taken the time off between jobs for yourself. Time away allows your mind to flush out the last job and hit the new job fresh. Maybe it makes you sleep better helping them out but it is more important to the new job to come in with a fresh outlook.
 

DLC

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Good luck at the new job!

Don’t look in the rear view mirror keep moving forward, I would take the week or at least a really long weekend to focus on you and your new adventure!

If you couldn’t fix the old company in what... 16 years you won’t fix in one more week. The guy replacing you won’t be on site and once he starts he will change direction and make it his own.

Work On Your Self and make sure your ready to go, clear minded, rested and separated from your past...

Good for you!
 

DaveC

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Move on. Close the door on the old place and don’t look back. Concentrate on the new endeavor. Move on and up

If you know what yore doing you will be fine.

Best wishes
 

RodnJen

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Congrats on the new direction. You will settle in and settle down quickly, especially if it’s the right move. I stayed at my last place 21 years, longer than I should. I new I wanted to leave, and had earlier offers, but like you, I had mortgages and a family to consider.

I made a good move last year and never looked back. It’s better for my career, my health and my family. It sounds like you have made yourself very useful. I’m sure that will continue and translate to success in your new direction.
 

riverroyal

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I did it about 3 years ago. 21 years with the same company.
It took about 6 months before I could relax and ‘spend’ and live life like a was before.
The unknown was real rough
Now, it was the best thing I’ve ever done and shouldn’t have waited 21 years.
Side note. I started back with that 21 year company about 6 months ago and it’s been exactly what I was needing all along. Reset.

They say change is good. I never believed it, but apparently it is
 

was thatguy

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I switch companies all the time.
Same basic job, its whoever had the work and pays the most.

Hell. I’m switching again in the next 8 weeks or so.
All my supervisors quit last month and are at different outfits and are recruiting.

You’ll be alright.
 

Ziggy

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Mine was driven by the General Motors bankruptcy causing me to close my new car dealership.
A few timely real estate investments turned me from a car guy to landlord.
Hard to believe it's been 12 yrs since I sold my BMW franchise and about 8 since closing my Saab store.
Time flies.
.
Oh, and in retrospect. It probably was the best thing to happen to me. I couldn't be happier. I'm guessing I'd have died by now from the stress I always absorbed.
As far as making the change it was extremely difficult to let go of 45+ years of being in business but I forced myself to see it as a new door.
You are about to step through a new door too. Don't forget your last 16 years but it's better to stop living it now.
 
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riverroyal

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Mine was driven by the General Motors bankruptcy causing me to close my new car dealership.
A few timely real estate investments turned me from a car guy to landlord.
Hard to believe it's been 12 yrs since I sold my BMW franchise and about 8 since closing my Saab store.
Time flies.
.
Oh, and in retrospect. It probably was the best thing to happen to me. I'm guessing I'd have died by now from the stress I always absorbed.
I’d like to add to this.
Ziggy’s retirement was the worse thing for me. Now I have to deal with salesmen like normal people. It’s horrible
 

shintoooo

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Best of luck to you at your new job.

Also, great grammar and punctuation usage in your original post. You don't see that very often anymore. :D
 

LazyLavey

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A lot of good advice here

Stand tall and move forward!!!!

I made a career change at 30 y/o. From being completely burned out after 15 years managing sales and servicing Rv/truck accessories to a LEO.. Took a significant reduction in pay as well

Got hired and thrown into a jail facility prior to any training. After the first night on the new job I wanted to quit... Felt I was totally out of my element, espicially at my age

Only took a couple of shifts to get into my new skin and it was off to the races, no regrets

You're strong, You'll survive.... Support from the family is very important as well!
 

Boozer

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Remember that as an employee you are not an asset. You’re a liability and consumable.

In March of 2015 I gave two weeks notice to my employer of almost 10 years. In the span of my career with that employer I went from an entry level position to the top of the food chain. I was in line for a very big promotion, the position I had been groomed for was eliminated and I was thrown into a garbage role as a result. When I gave my two weeks to my boss who was much younger than me and making less money than me he demanded that I resign on the spot. My highly successful 10 year career that netted my employer 100’s of millions of
Dollars in profit, my unwavering loyalty up until the point that I decided to go my own, my “Yes man” nature that robbed me of time from my children that I will never get back was tossed to the curb and in a split second the lights were turned off and none of it was relevant. To my employer I was trash and didn’t matter anymore.

I started my own business when I left that job and as a result I was able to semi retire at 35. I learned a lot in the process. The most important lesson I learned from all of that is change is what you make of it. This could be the best thing to ever happen to you, it could also be the worse thing that’s ever happened to you. You get to choose.

I highly recommend that you look into starting your own business. It will be rewarding and it will be fulfilling. It will provide you with a type of freedom you can’t fathom until you’ve lived it.

Ironically, I’m about to become an employee again. I’m now about to turn 39 and I’ve learned retirement doesn’t serve me well at this point in my life. I can spend countless days getting whitegirl wasted on my couch while binge watching Netflix and the bills still get paid, I still drive a bad ass car and have the resources to have pretty much anything I want whenever I want it. Lately I’ve been spending a bit to much time getting whitegirl wasted so it’s time for some change. That being said, had I stayed an employee I wouldn’t have the freedom I have. If my soon to be employer throws me in the trash my bills will still get paid and I’ll still get to do whatever I want when I want to. If my soon to be employer ends up sucking ass I can tell them to pound sand and throw them in the garbage as well. I don’t “need” them and they don’t “need” me. It’s a very beautiful thing.


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Boozer

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Mine was driven by the General Motors bankruptcy causing me to close my new car dealership.
A few timely real estate investments turned me from a car guy to landlord.
Hard to believe it's been 12 yrs since I sold my BMW franchise and about 8 since closing my Saab store.
Time flies.
.
Oh, and in retrospect. It probably was the best thing to happen to me. I couldn't be happier. I'm guessing I'd have died by now from the stress I always absorbed.
As far as making the change it was extremely difficult to let go of 45+ years of being in business but I forced myself to see it as a new door.
You are about to step through a new door too. Don't forget your last 16 years but it's better to stop living it now.
I remember when that happened. I didn’t know you in person but I knew you here and you were definitely becoming more and more of a dick with your posts.

You seem much happier now and I’m glad it worked out for you. It just sucks that I’m at a point in my life where I can afford a 7 series and it will probably become a reality after we take delivery of the new Vette. Now I gotta deal with a suck ass car salesman and can’t just send you a PM knowing you’ll Tee up a good guy deal and not make me jump through all the BS 4 square hoops.




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ChumpChange

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One thing you'll soon realize is your work buddies are friends of circumstance. You just happen to work in the same place so you might talk and hang out. Changing jobs and working elsewhere will make much of that disappear.
 

lbhsbz

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Thanks for all the replies...a lot of great points and advice

One thing you'll soon realize is your work buddies are friends of circumstance. You just happen to work in the same place so you might talk and hang out. Changing jobs and working elsewhere will make much of that disappear.


The interesting thing is, most of my work buddies have already left for competitors in our industry. My job will be working with all of these competitors. I'll be dealing with a lot of the same people every day, but now they'll need to keep me happy, not the other way around. It will be interesting.
 

pronstar

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For those who have made major changes in their jobs/careers...how long did it take to get over the initial shock?
When the ad agency I was with for 25 years decided to move my position back to LA, I told them no thanks and they fired me.

The initial shock of not having a job was crushing, even with a big severance. It took about a month to get my head right, as it’s a career I’ve had since before I graduated college.

But then I realized that full-time real estate investing was what I’ve wanted to do since high school. And now I had the time to jump into it.

Took a consulting gig for about a year just to bring some cash in, but even that was taking me from what I wanted to do. So I left p...

Now I’m working for myself and realize that I should have done this decades ago.

And cars are becoming fun again, and not just a job.


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Boozer

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One thing you'll soon realize is your work buddies are friends of circumstance. You just happen to work in the same place so you might talk and hang out. Changing jobs and working elsewhere will make much of that disappear.
This couldn’t be more true. When I left my job and started my business everyone was on board and promised to stay in touch and work with me in any way they could.

When I walked out of the office no longer an employee I might as well have been dead to most of my colleagues. I still stay in touch with a handful of them on FB but for the most part I haven’t spoken to most of the people I once considered close friends since the day I quit.


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C-2

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I went from working for myself out of a home office for 20-years (30 years in the industry) into a State job (at age 51). So yeah, it was a bit different.

Now I am a few days away from my 2-year anniversary (all of it on probation) and I'm already thinking about my next move. My new job is challenging and when I think of moving to a different department where the use of less brain cells is required, I'm like MEH. Sure, it would be easier, but maybe challenge is what keeps me going...

Don't sweat it, you have the job already! You can always go back like riverroyal did...so that's the backup plan.
 

Flying_Lavey

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Been with the company for a bit over 16 years. I started 2 years after it was founded. Lots of changes over the last 10 years and it's headed in a direction such that for the last couple years I'm not sure I want my name attached to it anymore. I have established myself as pretty much the gold standard of what I did there across the industry...problem is, I'm tired of doing it.

I accepted a position in a department that doesn't yet exist at another, much bigger company...still in the automotive industry but effectively walking away from all that I'm the best at and starting something where there are already plenty of others in the industry that are better than me, doing a job sort of related but completely different than what I did previously.

I got a text from new bossman on sunday that said "are you ready to give notice tomorrow?" We'd chatted a few times over the last year on the phone...I've known him for 15 years or so, and I was not ready for this to happen when it did.

I was shaking so bad the rest of the day, didn't sleep that night, and could barely hit the keys on the keyboard the next morning when I drafted my resignation letter.

I've calmed down considerably now and am starting to put together in my head what I'm gonna do when I get there, and the direction I want to take the new department that I guess its my job to figure out. Last time I changed jobs my only responsibility to come up with $300/month to give to my Dad for rent for my bedroom since I decided not to go to college. Now I have 2 houses worth of mortgage payments, a wife and a kid to support and keep happy. Nervous doesn't begin to describe it. But I hit "send" on monday, and that was that. No risk, no reward...right?

I learned that instead of being a mostly angry asshole like most tell me I am, I'm an emotional little bitch sometimes...and that made me feel like even more of a little bitch. I'm over that now, and it's full speed sideways. I have a shitload to do at the old place, which really isn't my problem anymore but I still give a fuck so I'm at the very least, telling them what needs to change (like I've been telling them for years) to make the place run better in my absence, and actually extended my departure date to compensate for another guy who is out with medical issues for 3 times as long as he should be because he's a pussy. So much for my week off, but I had a hard time leaving them with nobody to cover for a week.

For those who have made major changes in their jobs/careers...how long did it take to get over the initial shock?
Although I wasn't at my last company for very long, a little over 2 years, I truly enjoyed working there. Some of the best people I have ever met let alone worked for. I had been doing HVAC/R service for the last 8 years at that point. Then we decided a move out of state was appropriate for us. So when I was looking for a job in Tuscon I was surprised with a job offer for a HVAC project manager. I had done a bit of it almost 10 years prior when I worked for my dad but had no degree or much of any experience in it since then. Well I can say the transition has been...... Odd. But I think that's because I still see and deal with service techs frequently and feel I could probably work circles around most of them. Just been VERY different to go back to my HVAC roots but yet 800 miles away. I can tell ya though, the upside from those decisions truly looks impressive with many opportunities.

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dirtyduner

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One thing you'll soon realize is your work buddies are friends of circumstance. You just happen to work in the same place so you might talk and hang out. Changing jobs and working elsewhere will make much of that disappear.
THIS!
At my previous job, I had gotten 5-10 of my "buddies" really well paying jobs with good benefits. A lot of them doubled income by me helping them get a job. We went to the lake together, went camping together, attended kids birthday parties. When I got let go from that job last year I was amazed how little contact I had with these guys. I really started to look at it as a blessing and quickly realized how much these "buddies" were holding me back. I quit running around with a circle of buddies and switched it up to hanging with my family more and only having a handful of "good buddies" It has been refreshing.
 
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