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Pretty Sure I own the dumbest dog on the planet

Xring01

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Dont you dare respond to this thread, unless you have a dumber dog..

OK… Gizmo, Aka Gizzy…
Can escape any enclosure man can design, please ask me how I know
It probably took 2-3 years to learn her name. I am not 100% sure she know her name now, and she is pushing 6…
She knows that if she shits on the back patio/concrete, there is a calibration coming.. yet she literally shits 2 ft from the sliding glass door on a regular basis.

However thats baby stuff compared to…
Right before I moved from my house in SoCal. We had a neighbor that had a dominant pit bull mix and another mixed breed dog bigger than the pit bulL.

So I am over talking to my neighbors in their front yard, and their dogs are in their front yard… guess who escapes to come see me…
Before I can blink, Gizzy picks fight with both neighbor dogs… Yep both of them

Gizzy is Cocker Spaniel / King Charles Mix… about 16-18lbs…

And proceeds to kick both of these dogs ass for about 3-4 minutes until they decide it just not worth it..

The moment the dogs back off, she takes a big shit in their front yard, and all four legs scratching the grass flying in the air, to spread her scent. Tail as high as she could get and growling… showing these dogs what dominant is all about.

This dog fucking piss’s me off in so many way’s , but damn does she have a backbone made of titanium .. As far as she is concerned… She is 400lb Rottweiller/Wolf Mix, ready to fuck shit up.
AFF280DB-5249-41C8-9128-9B88A09A6293.jpeg
 

4Waters

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Dont you dare respond to this thread, unless you have a dumber dog..

OK… Gizmo, Aka Gizzy…
Can escape any enclosure man can design, please ask me how I know
It probably took 2-3 years to learn her name. I am not 100% sure she know her name now, and she is pushing 6…
She knows that if she shits on the back patio/concrete, there is a calibration coming.. yet she literally shits 2 ft from the sliding glass door on a regular basis.

However thats baby stuff compared to…
Right before I moved from my house in SoCal. We had a neighbor that had a dominant pit bull mix and another mixed breed dog bigger than the pit bulL.

So I am over talking to my neighbors in their front yard, and their dogs are in their front yard… guess who escapes to come see me…
Before I can blink, Gizzy picks fight with both neighbor dogs… Yep both of them

Gizzy is Cocker Spaniel / King Charles Mix… about 16-18lbs…

And proceeds to kick both of these dogs ass for about 3-4 minutes until they decide it just not worth it..

The moment the dogs back off, she takes a big shit in their front yard, and all four legs scratching the grass flying in the air, to spread her scent. Tail as high as she could get and growling… showing these dogs what dominant is all about.

This dog fucking piss’s me off in so many way’s , but damn does she have a backbone made of titanium .. As far as she is concerned… She is 400lb Rottweiller/Wolf Mix, ready to fuck shit up.
View attachment 1115770
I can't stop laughing
 

Xring01

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I can't stop laughing
How many dogs in your life, have you seen shit at a full sprint…

Literally playing fetch… she loves to chase a tennis ball…

But she can shit at full sprint… Not making this up.. Never in my life seen a dog with this ability…

Every dog I have ever owned…Stops… Squats… wiggles little bit… and takes a shit..

Not this one… full fucking sprint… turds are flying…
 

caribbean20

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Well, allow me the opportunity for a retort.

We had a dog, Oreo, that chased cars, HEAD ON, when he pulled one of his many escapes. We’d have to walk out into the road with a steak to lure him back from the brink.

Oreo hated motorcycles and would go ballistic every time he saw one, scratching and clawing to get out of the car to kick their ass. Riders would HOWL seeing him at stoplights. God help us if he was on the loose when he saw one.

And for the win, we once observed Oreo shitting, peeing, barking and walking ALL AT THE SAME TIME. We called it the Grand Slam.

That was the moron we called Oreo.😀
 
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Wheeler

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My dog was so dumb that it became contagious. I couldn't afford to keep it around me any longer so I donated him to the Democratic election committee.
 

Ziggy

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How many dogs in your life, have you seen shit at a full sprint…

Literally playing fetch… she loves to chase a tennis ball…

But she can shit at full sprint… Not making this up.. Never in my life seen a dog with this ability…

Every dog I have ever owned…Stops… Squats… wiggles little bit… and takes a shit..

Not this one… full fucking sprint… turds are flying…
When walking the Havasu Island path there's always a trail of dog shit laying there. Then I noticed the guy riding his bike with his dog running along side. 🤔...💡...2+2 struck me instantly.
 

Xring01

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I don’t know… I have an 11 year old Yorkie that still doesn’t even know it’s own name… dumber than a box of rocks.

But she is cute.
I have seen some dumb Yorkies in my life. My sister had one..
But never met one stupid enough to take on 2 -75-85lb Pit Bull type dogs at the same time.

To me, thats whole higher level of stupid… like suicide stupid… fucking Gizzy… no clue what so ever that she is 18lb dog. In her mind..

I GOT THIS..
 

Xring01

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Sounds like she identifies as a boy. Lol
Your stupid.. you used the wrong pro noun dumbass..

its HE or HIM… :eek:

Damn that cracked me up.,, seriously, your post had me laughing out loud..:)
 

stephenkatsea

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Our dog growing up was a pedigreed blond cocker spaniel. I think he was more arrogant than dumb. He bit about 8 people, including my younger sister. We're not talking a pit bull attack, but enough to draw blood. Without fail, our Mom would notify Animal Control, they'd come out and post the Quarantine signs. That dog had lots of jail time.

Our youngest daughter once received a rather severe facial attack from the neighbor's dog, a blond cocker spaniel. We're definitely dog lovers. We've had a Bassett Hound, Golden Retriever and a Newfoundland. Each great dogs and each lived to about 12. Don't believe I would have a cocker.
 

4Waters

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Our dog growing up was a pedigreed blond cocker spaniel. I think he was more arrogant than dumb. He bit about 8 people, including my younger sister. We're not talking a pit bull attack, but enough to draw blood. Without fail, our Mom would notify Animal Control, they'd come out and post the Quarantine signs. That dog had lots of jail time.

Our youngest daughter once received a rather severe facial attack from the neighbor's dog, a blond cocker spaniel. We're definitely dog lovers. We've had a Bassett Hound, Golden Retriever and a Newfoundland. Each great dogs and each lived to about 12. Don't believe I would have a cocker.
Cookers bite a lot of people and I don't know why that breed does it so much.
 

Willie B

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… Had the most lovable but dumbest Rottweiler I have ever seen… Very gentle… His hobby was on Sundays he would lay out of the double yellow line on Big Tujunga Canyon Road in front of where we lived… His name was Buster… His running buddy ..my girlfriends dog …was a quarter lab…quarter Shepherd..quarter Sharpay and a quarter something else???… Can’t remember that dogs name… I just used to call her wrinkled ankles from the Sharpay in her…(just remembered her name… Bear)…
… if that dog was in the car with you you had to make sure your windows were up because if she were to see a kid in a crosswalk with a skateboard she was out the window and after the skateboard…
 
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Xring01

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Well Gizzy did it again…

There is a nice park in our HOA, about 2 blocks from my new house in Reno area.
95% of the time, there is no one there.
Its freaking empty.
So I take Gizzy and Nelly (Black Lab) to play fetch at the park.

I have one of those ball chuckers that allows me to throw the ball a 100yds or more. We do this for about 20 minutes, then I let them cool down.

So yesterday afternoon. Its a beautiful day in Reno, and I decided to take “the bitchs” (both female dogs) to the park.

Its empty we are the only ones there. About 10 minutes of playing fetch, and out of no where this huge German Shephard comes sprinting right at Nelly and Gizzy as they are running back to me with the ball in Nellys mouth..

Dumb ass Shephard running at my dogs and growling at my dogs, thinking its dominant and they should stop and be submissive..

OWE SHIT… That strategy went wrong in a nano second.
Gizzy never broke her stride running right towards that shephard and at about 3-5 yards out, she literally jumps in the air right at his face.

She bounces off him and jumps right back into his face growling and snapping at him like tasmanian devil. That lastest about 20 seconds when the shephard, tucks his tail between his legs and runs to its owner…

Who immediately puts a leash on his dog. Comes up to me while I am still playing fetch. I call my dogs in, put them in a stay command and they just sit there, OFF LEASH, looking at the guy and his dog.

This guy was butt hurt and looking for an apology, from me.

I told him straight up, your dog ran up all aggressive to my dogs who are just playing fetch, and they are obviously not charging your dog and creating a ruckus. But there is one way to convince Gizzy she isnt dominant, just let your dog off the leash again and give him another chance at it, lets see what happens.

He packed up and left. LOL..

Fucking Gizzy, one day, one day, she is gonna pull that shit on the wrong dog.

Bitch has no clue she 18lbs… none at all… bring it on mfkrs… I got this, bring your dominant ass, I will put you in check and show you what dominant is all about.
 
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ChevelleSB406

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My first dog, Henry, was a cocker spaniel we had for 18 years. Smart, but disobedient. He knew when he was doing something wrong, and he calculated the reward vs punishment. Maybe his two most famous transgressions are as follows, both relating to the fact he loved to mark his territory. He was fully house broken, had a dog run, and peed out there when he simply "needed to go". If he was on a mission, game over.

We would put our Christmas tree in the living room, backing up to the stairs. Every year, this was a mission for him. One year we were sick of him peeing on the tree so we set up a perimeter around it. On Christmas, in front of us all, he proceeded to climb the stairs to the landing, cock his leg out under the bannister, and piss onto the backside of the tree. Mission accomplished.

One might think that daring to pull off with an audience. HIs most dangerous and risky maneuver was when he spotted a table setting my mom had put out on the dining table for a fancy dinner, I don't remember the holiday or occasion. With people in the room yet again, a leap to a chair, then the table, take aim, and piss on the place setting floral arrangement, and then rapid escape while being chased. Damn cocker spaniels.
 

74 spectra20 v-drive

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I need to introduce you to Stanley....this dog hates me, little french something dog, will not come to me unless its to get a treat at that is it. My boys found this dog after a car tossed him out near a park about 7 or 8 years ago, I know why they tossed him. I left a $100 dollar bill on the table with 8 high school kids sitting around it and told them if the money is gone along with the dog we are good, I came back to both the 100 and Stanley....
 

kurtis500

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Mine can stand on his hind legs with one paw on the door jam and use the other to spin a round door handle…and pull it inward to let himself out. No joke. I have a dozen+ friends who have all seen it numerous times. So we have a child safety lock on our doors.

My other dog is as dumb as a rock

Sometimes I think dogs are smarter. I know my dogs are faster than any human that’s ever lived.
 

kurtis500

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Well Gizzy did it again…

There is a nice park in our HOA, about 2 blocks from my new house in Reno area.
95% of the time, there is no one there.
Its freaking empty.
So I take Gizzy and Nelly (Black Lab) to play fetch at the park.

I have one of those ball chuckers that allows me to throw the ball a 100yds or more. We do this for about 20 minutes, then I let them cool down.

So yesterday afternoon. Its a beautiful day in Reno, and I decided to take “the bitchs” (both female dogs) to the park.

Its empty we are the only ones there. About 10 minutes of playing fetch, and out of no where this huge German Shephard comes sprinting right at Nelly and Gizzy as they are running back to me with the ball in Nellys mouth..

Dumb ass Shephard running at my dogs and growling at my dogs, thinking its dominant and they should stop and be submissive..

OWE SHIT… That strategy went wrong in a nano second.
Gizzy never broke her stride running right towards that shephard and at about 3-5 yards out, she literally jumps in the air right at his face.

She bounces off him and jumps right back into his face growling and snapping at him like tasmanian devil. That lastest about 20 seconds when the shephard, tucks his tail between his legs and runs to its owner…

Who immediately puts a leash on his dog. Comes up to me while I am still playing fetch. I call my dogs in, put them in a stay command and they just sit there, OFF LEASH, looking at the guy and his dog.

This guy was butt hurt and looking for an apology, from me.

I told him straight up, your dog ran up all aggressive to my dogs who are just playing fetch, and they are obviously not charging your dog and creating a ruckus. But there is one way to convince Gizzy she isnt dominant, just let your dog off the leash again and give him another chance at it, lets see what happens.

He packed up and left. LOL..

Fucking Gizzy, one day, one day, she is gonna pull that shit on the wrong dog.

Bitch has no clue she 18lbs… none at all… bring it on mfkrs… I got this, bring your dominant ass, I will put you in check and show you what dominant is all about.
Be careful. Our old friend had a chihuahua that thought it was the sh!t. One day at Apache lake a station wagon pulled up and 2 big German Shepards jumped out. Pancho decided he was going to kick some ass. By the time we got to him, maybe 10 seconds after he got to the German Shepards, he needed 185 stitches. They shredded this dog in seconds. Just savage to watch as your running to stop it. Pancho died of an infection less than a week after. Sad. But Pancho had it coming.
 

Xring01

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Be careful. Our old friend had a chihuahua that thought it was the sh!t. One day at Apache lake a station wagon pulled up and 2 big German Shepards jumped out. Pancho decided he was going to kick some ass. By the time we got to him, maybe 10 seconds after he got to the German Shepards, he needed 185 stitches. They shredded this dog in seconds. Just savage to watch as your running to stop it. Pancho died of an infection less than a week after. Sad. But Pancho had it coming.
Thats exactly why I say she is dumb, eventually she will pull this shit on the wrong dog.
 

Wheeler

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I don’t know… I have an 11 year old Yorkie that still doesn’t even know it’s own name… dumber than a box of rocks.

But she is cute.
Try speaking to it in a British accent. You'll be amazed!
 

OC Mike

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Well Gizzy did it again…

There is a nice park in our HOA, about 2 blocks from my new house in Reno area.
95% of the time, there is no one there.
Its freaking empty.
So I take Gizzy and Nelly (Black Lab) to play fetch at the park.

I have one of those ball chuckers that allows me to throw the ball a 100yds or more. We do this for about 20 minutes, then I let them cool down.

So yesterday afternoon. Its a beautiful day in Reno, and I decided to take “the bitchs” (both female dogs) to the park.

Its empty we are the only ones there. About 10 minutes of playing fetch, and out of no where this huge German Shephard comes sprinting right at Nelly and Gizzy as they are running back to me with the ball in Nellys mouth..

Dumb ass Shephard running at my dogs and growling at my dogs, thinking its dominant and they should stop and be submissive..

OWE SHIT… That strategy went wrong in a nano second.
Gizzy never broke her stride running right towards that shephard and at about 3-5 yards out, she literally jumps in the air right at his face.

She bounces off him and jumps right back into his face growling and snapping at him like tasmanian devil. That lastest about 20 seconds when the shephard, tucks his tail between his legs and runs to its owner…

Who immediately puts a leash on his dog. Comes up to me while I am still playing fetch. I call my dogs in, put them in a stay command and they just sit there, OFF LEASH, looking at the guy and his dog.

This guy was butt hurt and looking for an apology, from me.

I told him straight up, your dog ran up all aggressive to my dogs who are just playing fetch, and they are obviously not charging your dog and creating a ruckus. But there is one way to convince Gizzy she isnt dominant, just let your dog off the leash again and give him another chance at it, lets see what happens.

He packed up and left. LOL..

Fucking Gizzy, one day, one day, she is gonna pull that shit on the wrong dog.

Bitch has no clue she 18lbs… none at all… bring it on mfkrs… I got this, bring your dominant ass, I will put you in check and show you what dominant is all about.
I was laughing so hard I to read it my wife.
And we are Shepard lovers.
 

SoCalDave

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Had a pointer when I was a young kid that was devoted to me and would follow me everywhere I would go. One day I was off on my bike to go fishing (this was rural Tennessee) and I would have to cross a major two lane highway at times. Well sometimes he would lag behind a bit and he just happen to cross when a truck came baring down the road and hit him with their driver side bumper. I thought he was done for but the old man ( I knew him) stopped and we loaded old Chip into his truck along with my bike and headed back home. My mom helped me try and comfort him until Dad got home and we wrapped his rear leg which looked broken. Fast forward he survived and was back to full strut in a couple of months. From that time forward anytime and I mean anytime he would cross and road he would stop and look both ways. 😁

Another time I was down at the lake fishing where the spillway was and he spotted a groundhog. He took off after it and chased it into its den. He was going crazy and I was trying to get him to stop when he went in head first. That groundhog literally almost ripped his face completely off. Chip finally backed off and we started the trek home where once again my mom help me get him cleaned up and wrapped some gauze around his head. Fast forward to about a month later and he spotted that old groundhog again. This time he went around the back way and snuck up on him grabbing him around the back of the neck and shook the fuker until he was dead. Chip was so proud he got that old groundhog back he took it home to show everyone. Man I sure do miss that dog and those days (60's).
 
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spectra3279

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I had a red Doberman, Sabrina. She was my uncles at first and hated my guts. I kept my motorcycles at my uncles house so I was out there alot. My uncle or my aunt had to walk me to my motorcycle and then with me until I got out of the yard. She guarded that yard like a spetznat on patrol, killed anything or attacked anything that crossed that line that said it was her yard.

Well my uncle would breed her every so often so he never had her spaid. He would pen her up when she was in heat. I would sneak her sammiches when she was penned up. Well one day me and uncle Toby was arguing about what was wrong with this old impala. Sabrina came in the garage and got between us and growled at Toby. From that time on she would follow me where ever I went on motorcycle.

She scared the shit out of me one time about 4 miles from the house way out in the river bottoms. There had been a few cases of rabid coons. I stopped in the shade to cool off. I was leaning against a tree. She come crashing out of the brush growling, snapping and looking like she's gonna eat me. Only real chance I got is to keep my dirt bike between her and me until I can get it started. I lunge for the bike, she lunges towards me. I make it to the other side of my bike, she looks at me with a 6ft copperhead hanging out of her mouth. Damn thing was about 3ft from where I was resting.

I miss the shit out of her. She was poisoned for killing 2 collies that followed her home one day. Uncle Toby hid all the guns or I would have shot the fucker that did it.
 

Jed-O

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Fuckin hilarious!!! Gizzy must have worn thigh high black patent stiletto boots in her past life. That's a different level of zero fucks given and I'll fuck you up at the same time!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Seriously if that dog had apposable thumbs and access to your Amazon account, you'd never get a wink of sleep. She'd have bullwhips and testicle clamps hidden all over the place!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
 

Justfishing

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I am glad you got the stupid dog from the litter
 

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