Quality Time Father/Son Project

[Enen]

Today started off with a bit somber overtone in our home. My son will begin his Senior year in high school this coming fall. This morning we attended a memorial service for a school mate of his. This young man decided last week to take his father's handgun and use it to end his life. It was my sons first experience having someone in his peer group pass away. Needless to say there've been some interesting and deep conversations in our home over the course of this week.

The thread about more to life than money has been weighing heavy on my mind. After we left the memorial service, Jeff and I went to lunch. After lunch, we stopped at Lowes and picked up 10 2x4x10's and some hardware. We decided that today was a day to break out the power tools and build some shit. Spent the afternoon working with him. Thought I'd share some pics/vid of our little project.

 

[Backlash]

That's awesome you're able to spend time with him! Cherish those moments my friend! On a side note, AWESOME floors! I couldn't help but notice those! So what are you guys making??

 

[Enen]

We started off with a small pallet. Our project will modify it for a specific need. The guy in the suite next door to our shop is a GC/ framing contractor. He's also a childhood friend. He's got a great set of tools. I went next door and raided the tool chest.

 

[Enen]

That's awesome you're able to spend time with him! Cherish those moments my friend! On a side note, AWESOME floors! I couldn't help but notice those! So what are you guys making??

Thanks! He had quite the satisfied look on his face this evening. Something about working with your hands... It's good for the soul.

Thinking maybe we send candles to the person that guesses what we are building? What do you guys think?

 

[lbhsbz]

Thinking maybe we send candles to the person that guesses what we are building? What do you guys think?

outdrive stand?

 

[Backlash]

A stand to hold an outdrive unit?

 

[Spudsbud]

My condolenses to all.
10 yrs ago, when my Son was 15. We went thru something very similar. Keep doing exactly what you're doing. Stay with him. Keep talking to him. Keep it up.
Why?
At that time, 10 yrs ago. A very close friend sent me a package of info he had received. His Son, my nephew had been a sophomore at "Columbine" on the fateful day in Apr back when.
Yes, that Columbine. He knew those 2 boys. They were social outcasts and yes, bullied.....
Now here's the 1 fact I've share thru the years.
This is info no parent wants to hear, but every parent needs to know.
OK...?
15% .... 15 out of every 100 suicides in this country, (1 is too many of course) commited by young people between the ages of 13 & 21, is a direct result of another suicide of someone close.
Kid just cant process it. So they do the same.
There is also a "watch list" of character, behavior changes by perfectly normal, happy, well loved kids to watch for. There were 10 1st alert warning signs that potentially lead to this tragedy.
At that time back then. My Son displayed 3...... I took time off work, We did not leave him alone for a minute. Not 1 minute. I would imagine you could google that list. You should. Because you just dont know. This was my Son's best friend. He lived across the street. Buddies since babies. My "other" Son, you know. Eventually it passes......
good luck. Keep talking to him. Keep building things.

Jim

 

[4Waters]

Sorry both of you had to go through that. My dad drove it home with me that death is forever, no second chance, no do over its forever and I'm doing the same with my kids and letting them know that we can always talk. I watched a documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge years ago and it was about the amount of suicides on the bridge, very few have survived that jump and when they were asked what were you thinking on the way down most answered "why did I do this".

 

[HotRod82]

In case no one has told you lately, you're a great father, keep it up.

On a lighter note....seeing a teenager use tools and build shit with his hands is completely awesome. Well done again.

 

[Enen]

My condolenses to all.
10 yrs ago, when my Son was 15. We went thru something very similar. Keep doing exactly what you're doing. Stay with him. Keep talking to him. Keep it up.
Why?
At that time, 10 yrs ago. A very close friend sent me a package of info he had received. His Son, my nephew had been a sophomore at "Columbine" on the fateful day in Apr back when.
Yes, that Columbine. He knew those 2 boys. They were social outcasts and yes, bullied.....
Now here's the 1 fact I've share thru the years.
This is info no parent wants to hear, but every parent needs to know.
OK...?
15% .... 15 out of every 100 suicides in this country, (1 is too many of course) commited by young people between the ages of 13 & 21, is a direct result of another suicide of someone close.
Kid just cant process it. So they do the same.
There is also a "watch list" of character, behavior changes by perfectly normal, happy, well loved kids to watch for. There were 10 1st alert warning signs that potentially lead to this tragedy.
At that time back then. My Son displayed 3...... I took time off work, We did not leave him alone for a minute. Not 1 minute. I would imagine you could google that list. You should. Because you just dont know. This was my Son's best friend. He lived across the street. Buddies since babies. My "other" Son, you know. Eventually it passes......
good luck. Keep talking to him. Keep building things.

Jim

Thanks for the advice. I will look up, and read those signs. This young man wasn't his best friend or anything. They were casual friends at school. His younger sister plays volleyball with my daughter, so we knew the parents. The mom literally broke down, hugging my wife yesterday and sobbed, telling us that her son ( Carson) hid all signs that would cause any concern. The parents had no idea. It was a total shock.

 

[Enen]

Sorry both of you had to go through that. My dad drove it home with me that death is forever, no second chance, no do over its forever and I'm doing the same with my kids and letting them know that we can always talk. I watched a documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge years ago and it was about the amount of suicides on the bridge, very few have survived that jump and when they were asked what were you thinking on the way down most answered "why did I do this".

It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We've had some real good conversations with our oldest three kids this week.

 

[Enen]

In case no one has told you lately, you're a great father, keep it up.

On a lighter note....seeing a teenager use tools and build shit with his hands is completely awesome. Well done again.

Thanks. Sincerely appreciate the kind words.

 

[RiverDave]

There is a lot of truth to what you said about building something with your hands.

 

[tkrrox]

Very cool. I’m big on having kids learn to do stuff. My boy made this for his mother. She likes doing puzzles but it always takes over the table so he wanted to make a puzzle tray. He pooped out on paint though[emoji849]

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[Enen]

Very cool. I’m big on having kids learn to do stuff. My boy made this for his mother. She likes doing puzzles but it always takes over the table so he wanted to make a puzzle tray. He pooped out on paint though[emoji849]
View attachment 657860


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Very cool! I bet both your wife and your son both treasure this.

 

[tkrrox]

Very cool! I bet both your wife and your son both treasure this.

What seizes to amaze is how smart and abled kids actually are. I don’t think we give them enough credit. Right now he’s digging the hillside to make a terrace for a fort[emoji6]


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