Ranting in advance……. Lol

[C-Ya]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

 

[coolchange]

No, but you’ve now opened yourself to the obligatory play by play and recap

 

[Roosky01]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

Just tell your wife at the most opportune times during the course of the visit just how thankful you are that SHE is blood related to him and not YOU! Should inject a little spice into the weekend to liven things up!

 

[Cdog]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

You can fix that by having a slow joe 4th of July. Hot dogs, hamburgers & lays chips all weekend. Save 14 cents!! Gas is expensive so plop his ass at the beach with the shittiest beach chair u have. Pull the coil wire and tell him the boat wont start.

 

[mash on it]

Make reservations at a hotel across town that's a little too far too walk to your condo
Seems cheaper in the long run

Dan'l

 

[Outdrive1]

My in-laws were out for Memorial. We cooked and cleaned and served their entire crew for four days. They brought their three kids. And showed up with 4 more kids, for a total of 9. Literally I spent all afternoon one of the days bbqing/smoking preparing food. They ate and dissapeared like roaches when the lights come on. The teenagers broke a table playing beer pong, one of them thought they could jump on it. One knocked corn hole boards into the side of my truck. Dented the door. No-one knew who did it. They sucked up a ski rope in a rental jet ski. Cut my rope to get it out. One of them lost a paddle to one of my paddle boards. The sister in law chewed my wife’s ass (they are sisters) for correcting/disciplining her daughter, who is a total fucking brat. The teenagers drank a refrigerator full of seltzers and beer, no one offered to replace anything. I think they shouldn’t be drinking anyhow, I don’t care if your 17/18. Other than that, when they leave it’s one of the best feelings you can have. You don’t know how good it is until you realize how bad it can be first.


They will never be invited back. That was the last time

 

[OLDRAAT]

Take him for a "three hour cruise" on the tikilicky bar and don't bring him back.

 

[Mr. C]

Why even invite them in the first place?
OR
Sounds like HE/They might of just kinda invited themselves.

Hey were coming to Florida see on Friday.......Oh ya, we're staying til Tuesday

I would for sure be winning the race to shitfacedness....That will also excuse all your harsh words you spew.

 

[was thatguy]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

Yes all of mine are like that.
That’s why I live 2000 miles away from them and never let them in my house

 

[Icky]

Shit where do I sign up, I'm used to paying for things. As a guest, it's the least you can do

 

[WildWilly]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

I'm trying to find any silver lining...is his GF at least good to look at? maybe takes the song "tequila makes my clothes fall off" literally?

 

[termiteguy]

No, but you’ve now opened yourself to the obligatory play by play and recap

This and we plenty of pics to go along with the story

 

[WTR&PWR]

Don’t we all have these family members? My favorite is when they come to our house, ask how much it cost, and go on to tell me how much nicer of a house I can get for the same money if we moved to where they live.

 

[NicPaus]

I have 1 great BIL and 1 that can kind of be a pain when they come to the river. At the end of the day he is a great Dad to my Nieces and Nephew. So it doesn't bother me at all. I pay for everything and let them have a break from the rat race lifestyle that we live back home. Life is to short and I work to hard to worry about it.

Enjoy your weekend.

 

[74 spectra20 v-drive]

Holy Shit what a nightmare...we have always camped at the river (Central CA) and everyone kind of did their own thing for meals, we had multiple boats that typically everyone was pitching in for gas. little issues here and there... now my wife's younger sister, I have not talked to her in close to 7 years primarily because I would beat the living shit out of husband #3... there is a soap opera with this story.

 

[Yldboyz]

Don't call me, I'll call you.

 

[Spudsbud]

agreed on all fronts.

 

[Swain]

Sounds like a good 4th

 

[Tooms22]

No, but you’ve now opened yourself to the obligatory play by play and recap

This. We need this ^

Makes me feel better about my family vacation situations. Everyone usually offers to pitch in for whatever. We have the stereotypical "Mom is being pain" or "the in-laws are acting like sitcom in-laws" but other than that, pretty tame.

And like I said in a thread about Smith's... you can just "run to the grocery store real quick" and by "run to the grocery store real quick" I mean drink at the grocery store bar

 

[Ziggy]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

Take and drop him at his favorite Dennys or Red Robin. You & the Mrs go on to your favorite
.
If asked how much your boat cost.......got it for 8 bucks.....btw, you owe me 8 bucks for that 32 pack.

 

[rivrrts429]

This thread has made me realize why my Dad looked at me straight faced and said...

“Your Mom and I are building a 3,000 sq ft one bedroom one bath home. You’re welcome to stop by for the day!”

 

[Todd Mohr]

Looking forward to the updates.

 

[jetboatperformance]

"House guests are like fish aftetr 3 days they begin to smell" ......."

 

[HNL2LHC]

That sucks to have someone on their way and you are not looking forward to the weekend. Maybe there is a silver lining……Is his girlfriend hot? Post up pics so that we can confirm your opinion.

 

[HNL2LHC]

I'm trying to find any silver lining...is his GF at least good to look at? maybe takes the song "tequila makes my clothes fall off" literally?

Opps….I Mr. Diesel’d you. Great minds think alike.

 

[C-Ya]

For those of you that want a pic…..

This may not be them, but this is how they appear to me!

 

[Todd Mohr]

View attachment 1131985 For those of you that want a pic…..

This may not be them, but this is how they appear to me!

My advice, start drinking heavily right now

 

[mjc]

I have 4 sisters and only really talk too one them a little. The only good thing about my mom passing was I don't have to do holidays with them anymore since I did it for her and she wanted them over

 

[hallett21]

Not sure if I should laugh or cry lol.

Grateful I get along with my in-laws. We may not see eye to eye on certain things but we always treat each other with love and respect

 

[RVRKID]

Maybe their flight will get cancelled.
Looking forward to your posts this weekend.

 

[rrrr]

Allow me to repost the observations I made about this situation a couple of weeks ago...

That's the asshole brother-in-law rule.

Everybody has one, a total dickhead that borrows your tools while you're out of town and loses them. He comes over to your house to watch the Super Bowl, gets too drunk, and throws up on the nachos and little sausages in BBQ sauce. He walks across the bow of your boat with sand on his feet, and scratches the gelcoat.

If you don't have this problem with your wife's brother, then YOU'RE someone's asshole brother-in-law. Get help.

 

[CoolCruzin]

Life’s short . Enjoy every thing

 

[LuckyStrike]

My Brother In Law is coming for 4th of July Weekend.

Things I can expect…….

He usually Clocks In at 9am. Normally he is shitfaced by 4pm. I expect at least an 18 pack to be consumed in this time period. But most likely an entire case of beer.

I am wondering which of my toys will be broken or thrashed, since anything he touches gets used like he stole it! No matter what it is, he has to see how fast it will go?

If he arrives with $43 dollars in his pocket, I can just assume that will be the same amount he leaves with, since in 25 years I have never seen him pick up a tab. He believes his rich attorney sister, my wife, should pick up every bill. I already know that he will be picking whatever is the most expensive item on the menu, at every restaurant we go to this weekend.

I can expect for him and his girlfriend to bicker and fight all weekend. I’d hate to see him break the streak.

I can expect any thing left out in my home will be read by him. I have to make sure any mail has been hidden. He is just dying to know our net worth. He will probably just ask……. Again.

Everything I own……. He will want to know what I PAID for it.

In honor of his arrival at 6pm Florida time…….. I expect to be shitfaced myself in order to deal with the usual. Lol

I am considering taking a hammer to my boat, just to beat him to the damage…….

Do any of you have a relative like mine?

Oh Boy This Will Be a Great Read....Good Luck ...Ive had my Fair Share of a Cheap SOB Cousin

 

[RichL]

My advice, start drinking heavily right now

Agreed...And then drink some more.

 

[C-Ya]

It’s 5:58……. I am Clocked In!

I even got drinks chillin in freezer. Lol

 

[spectra3279]

My advice, start drinking heavily right now

Fuck the beer. Everclear. Get it over fast

 

[RVR_RCN]

There is one in every family, and if you don't think so.....it's probably you!

 

[oldschool]

Just leave town and tell them you got the dates wrong.

 

[Badchoices03]

Allow me to repost the observations I made about this situation a couple of weeks ago...

That's the asshole brother-in-law rule.

Everybody has one, a total dickhead that borrows your tools while you're out of town and loses them. He comes over to your house to watch the Super Bowl, gets too drunk, and throws up on the nachos and little sausages in BBQ sauce. He walks across the bow of your boat with sand on his feet, and scratches the gelcoat.

If you don't have this problem with your wife's brother, then YOU'RE someone's asshole brother-in-law. Get help.

oh sh*t....

 

[DaveH]

 

[arch stanton]

print out what you wrote and leave it were he can find it
set up a baby cam to record his reaction

 

[oldschool]

Allow me to repost the observations I made about this situation a couple of weeks ago...

That's the asshole brother-in-law rule.

Everybody has one, a total dickhead that borrows your tools while you're out of town and loses them. He comes over to your house to watch the Super Bowl, gets too drunk, and throws up on the nachos and little sausages in BBQ sauce. He walks across the bow of your boat with sand on his feet, and scratches the gelcoat.

If you don't have this problem with your wife's brother, then YOU'RE someone's asshole brother-in-law. Get help.

One of my BIL’s along with my SIL house sit for us ONE time. Unbeknownst to us, they held a family party with 10 of his hillbilly relatives who proceeded to trash the house and backyard. They then killed our dog(actually died from cancer on their watch), had half the police department show up at the house and took my favorite belt. That was one of the better visits we had from them.

 

[Hammer]

My in-laws were out for Memorial. We cooked and cleaned and served their entire crew for four days. They brought their three kids. And showed up with 4 more kids, for a total of 9. Literally I spent all afternoon one of the days bbqing/smoking preparing food. They ate and dissapeared like roaches when the lights come on. The teenagers broke a table playing beer pong, one of them thought they could jump on it. One knocked corn hole boards into the side of my truck. Dented the door. No-one knew who did it. They sucked up a ski rope in a rental jet ski. Cut my rope to get it out. One of them lost a paddle to one of my paddle boards. The sister in law chewed my wife’s ass (they are sisters) for correcting/disciplining her daughter, who is a total fucking brat. The teenagers drank a refrigerator full of seltzers and beer, no one offered to replace anything. I think they shouldn’t be drinking anyhow, I don’t care if your 17/18. Other than that, when they leave it’s one of the best feelings you can have. You don’t know how good it is until you realize how bad it can be first.


They will never be invited back. That was the last time

And you want ME to visit. Lol

 

[Paradox]

This. We need this ^

Makes me feel better about my family vacation situations. Everyone usually offers to pitch in for whatever. We have the stereotypical "Mom is being pain" or "the in-laws are acting like sitcom in-laws" but other than that, pretty tame.

And like I said in a thread about Smith's... you can just "run to the grocery store real quick" and by "run to the grocery store real quick" I mean drink at the grocery store bar

Aside from the drama you mention, I have to admit, we drink at the Smith’s bar absolutely every time we go. Further, every single time (at least over the last two years) we have met some extremely intresting folks (including last night) and end up staying two hours or more..

 

[CLdrinker]

I’m heading to my brother in laws. Already sent him $300 to get started and we will go to the grocery store on my dime when we get there.

 

[Outdrive1]

And you want ME to visit. Lol

You’ve spent plenty of time crashed here. I’m good with your program. lol.

 

[DaytonaBabe]

Looking forward to the updates!

 

[dnewps]

C-ya, here is some advice...your weekend is fucked...period. It’s a test between you and your bride. Be cool and have boundaries and earn points in your marriage. She knows her brother is messed up...it’s about your reaction. I deal with this with my own fam. Good luck!

 

[500bbc]

It’s 5:58……. I am Clocked In!

I even got drinks chillin in freezer. Lol

Video him, post here, show him.the thread.

 

[napanutt]

This thread has made me realize why my Dad looked at me straight faced and said...

“Your Mom and I are building a 3,000 sq ft one bedroom one bath home. You’re welcome to stop by for the day!”

Kind of like a 40’diesel pusher motorhome.

*Insert who you don’t want hanging around too long*: Nice motorhome you got. How many does it sleep.

Me: 2.