Ranting in advance……. Lol

[LazyLavey]

Brother-In-Law Eddie?

 

[oldschool]

Brother-In-Law Eddie?
View attachment 1132074

“Come on boy, let’s go find your sister.”

 

[arch stanton]

i have just read your post to my wife and she caught that you said him and his girlfriend will argue but i thought he married your sister you still have him over ? or was that just you being half in the bag
still bring out the video recording device we deserve a laugh

 

[Wheeler]

i have just read your post to my wife and she caught that you said him and his girlfriend will argue but i thought he married your sister you still have him over ? or was that just you being half in the bag
still bring out the video recording device we deserve a laugh

I'm not pointing fingers or anything but somebody might be half in the bag.

 

[mbrown2]

Two things to mind… “shitters full” and “take ‘em to the train station”

 

[Rvrluvr]

So…..tell us what is your net worth? Asking for a friend

 

[CarolynandBob]

Stories like this baffle me. I am of the mindset that just because someone is family that you have to put up with that. Most of my family have a "cut off" personalities. Fuck up and you are cut off from our lives. I know it isn't right, but just the way my family is. Not sure why.

My wife and I are on the same page when it come to that. There is no way she would put up with that from any of my relatives and I wouldn't put up with it from any of hers.

 

[SixD9R]

I need to show this thread to my wife.
She’s PO’ed at my cousin for being a mooch but it’s pretty mild compared to the stories here. We usually host the family summer holiday celebrations at our river spot. My cousin from out of town is on the invite list but always shows up completely empty handed even though everyone else brings a side dish or something for the dinner. I get it that he’s divorced so nobody expects him to bake a cake or something but the cheap skate could at least bring a flippin 12 pack or something. To top it off he always hits up someone to crash at their house for the night that evening. Even though he’s divorced the dude isn’t isn’t hurting for money- he’s just f-ing cheap.

 

[RiverDave]

print out what you wrote and leave it were he can find it
set up a baby cam to record his reaction

Yes!!!

 

[HCP3]

We need an update

 

[SixD9R]

C-ya says he would be happy to send an update but his phone was mysteriously broken

 

[Singleton]

My BIL and his wife are very similar. Total mooch on the family. They never do anything when on the annual family vacation my FIL hosts. FIL pays for the house, wife and I pay for the groceries (16 people in total to feed for a week), my wife and her sister do the majority of the dinner cooking. MIL and FIL usually cook breakfast. That leave cleanup duties and my wife’s brother does nothing. Even when asked by his parents. They will just leave the main room and head to his room or go outside for a smoke. Pisses me off! When the oldest of the youngest generation at the vacation make comments and without being asked cleanup after dinner, you think you would wake up, but NO. Blood boils just typing this, that is how pissed I get with my BIL.

Back in 2013 they visited CA when my oldest graduated HS and that was the last time they were welcomed in my house. They did not respect my house rules (no smoking in house or backyard, smoke at curb) and they left a weeks worth of dirty diapers under the bed in my sons room that we allowed them to use. The room was trashed and I was over the disrespect shown to me and my wife. Wife told her parents, her brother is never allowed at our house again. To this day, my in-laws and my BIL’s kids have visited annually, but BIL and his wife stay in CO.

 

[Dan Lorenze]

Best thing you can do in situations like this are to book their travel on American Airlines, there's a good chance their flights will be delayed then cancelled.

 

[Mike Honcho]

It sounds like you need to embrace the suck and I had a friend who was in the exact same boat and he told me a story where he had a family member who would show up ruin everything in sight so he welcomed the next time with a freshly opened beer that had two drops of visine in it and the poor guy was ruined for the weekend apparently he got the craps and couldn't function so the rest of them had a great weekend without him.

Now I am not suggesting you do this at all just thought it was a hilarious story.

Good Luck with the suck, you can't pick your family.

 

[OLDRAAT]

​

This is in Visine:
https://www.google.com/search?q=Wha...PkGoFHcGZCuUQ9QF6BAgZEAE#imgrc=lZEHIwQw8cdmRM
Phenolphthalein is an organic compound used as a laboratory reagent and pH indicator. Phenolphthalein exerts laxative effects by stimulating the intestinal mucosa and constricting smooth muscles.

My chemist's used the solution to titrate samples of organic chemicals (ie: plating, processing solutions). Couple of drops would be like eating 10-15 Exlax tablets.

 

[Sportin' Wood]

Times like this are made for the false-positive COVID test. But seriously, let me share something to consider about InLaws.

I don't particularly care for my BIL. He was mostly a dick to me for the last 35 years. He is four years younger. His wife is an unhappy person, his daughters are trashy and uneducated. He has spent his adult life collecting junk that gets stacked in the backyard that he believes is all worth top dollar, but he never sells any of it. He lacks ambition and has never gotten a job without someone else hooking him up. I frankly hate being around him and his family.

At age 46 (Oct 2020) My BIL had a series of massive strokes. He crept up to the gates of the afterlife and somehow turned back to the here and now. He will never work again, or be able to do simple things we all take for granted. It has been painful to watch their lives unravel. They had not been prepared for this type of event. While I don't care for them, my wife still loves her brother. My MIL and FIL love their son. While we all agree he did not meet expectations I did not do anything to try and help him get his life together. Now it's too late.

It still pains me to be around this guy, I never got his sense of humor, but I realize now it was his sense of humor, not any malicious intent to be a dick. He just thought he was funny. While I still don't want to be around him, I am pretty sure my wife and her parents would do almost anything to have him back the way he was.

The good that came from this experience is that I don't ask too much of my family now and just try and enjoy them for who they are. Even when they do shit I don't like, I focus on the stuff that they do well.

Sorry to be a buzz kill, but we only get so much time on this rock, so in the words of Islander Bruce "Let that shit go man!"

 

[Sherpa]

Topics covered:
Greet him with an open visine* spiked beer. Lol.
Pull plug wires on anything you don’t want started.
Here’s one: if you can, hide food? So when they show up everyone goes shopping then have them pay half?

Call them in advance of their arrival informing them their in charge of buying food and beer and you’ll cook for them.
Forget restaurants…

Have bil help with some project while there. Use him as monkey labor…..

For all sakes though, take pics of shenanigans and share here.. lol

Sherpa

 

[The Prisoner]

No update. Maybe “homicidal maniac” was left off the rant.

 

[2Driver]

If you are stuck with him and you know him to the T, work him. It’s ends up being pretty fun if you do it right.

 

[Hydroman55]

Man does this hit home ….Plus I have be a shuttle to and from airport.

 

[C-Ya]

 

[Dan Lorenze]

Meh, he looks harmless.... He's just along for the ride.

 

[C-Ya]

Ranting after the fact………

Ive had a tough weekend. My patience was tested like never before. In fact, I am still annoyed.

My BIL consumed 136 beers from Friday through Monday night. This is only the count from our refrigerator and does not count the numerous drinks consumed at the bars and restaurants we went to.

Sunday……..

After Saturdays shitshow, my wife and I decided that we would secretly count how many beers my BIL drank. When we anchored the boat at the sandbar at 1pm, his count was already to 12. We left the sandbar at 5pm, whereas he had consumed an entire case of beer by this time, count is now at 24. We went to a waterfront restaurant, where he started in on the hard drinks. 3 Margaritas.

This is when I got pissed off. Why, other than the obvious? When we went to leave, I made the mistake of thinking he was sober enough to untie my spring line, while my wife got the rear breast line. What a mistake that was. In my entire boating career, I have never seen a cleated line become knotted to the cleat, but my BIL managed to do this. Think about this. You would have to take the bitter end of the line and slide it through at least 2 loops to create a knot. I had to retie the boat to the dock, then get on my hands and knees to get my line untangled from cleat, while the entire restaurant watched. This is also when I could no longer keep my cool and I openly bitched about what had just happened. My wife kept me from just going off.

I must admit, this is when I became a dick. Here is why! Lol

I knew that my BIL was afraid to go into the ocean……… So that’s where I headed. It was so sporty out too. I was one of a very few boats on the outside of the inlet. I did not care! At some point I reached down and turned off my boat, and pretended that we just broke down. Too bad my wife didn’t go along with my ploy, because I was at the point where I was going to get him in a lifejacket and throw him overboard……. and leave! Actually, I just wanted to see him panic. He deserved it! Lol

By this time I am at my wits end. Just imagine being around a drunk that NEVER shuts up. Wants to know the price of anything and everything. Repeats everything because he can’t remember that he asked you the same question 5 minutes ago. I feel like I priced out every boat at the sandbar and also the surrounding homes, and anything that boated by. After a while, I was just pulling numbers out of my ass. I could have cared less. I was just counting the minutes till Tuesday, when he left.

So to finish with Sunday…….. He drank 41 beers, 3 Margaritas, and swigged 3 inches from a tequila bottle in my bar. I did not realize he was doing the tequila swigging until my wife caught him, and told him to at least use a glass. By this time the questions are……. How deep is the intracoastal? How wide? Where do fish come from? Why does seaweed float? I just want to scream…….. shut the Fuck up! Instead…….. I bite a hole through my lower lip and use the blood to write “fuck me“ on my forehead.

Sunday over…..

I did take the advice on this thread and got my drink on Friday night. I felt like shit Saturday, so I did not drink at all. Sunday I had approx 6 in the evening, same with the 4th. My BIL actually insulted me several times for drinking sparkling water all day. I refused to be his drinking buddy.

Speaking of sparkling water……. My BIL’s girlfriend was using a sparkling water can as her ashtray for her cigarettes. She became confused at some point, and end up putting out a cigarette in my sparkling water can. I discovered this, when I saw my drink on the gunnel of my boat, so I took a huge chug, only to spit it out, once I realized I had just taken in something chunky. Needless to say…… it tasted like shit. That taste stayed with me for the next hour. Lol

I don’t hang out with drunks. All my friends are responsible drinkers or don’t drink at all. It really wore on my nerves to be around somebody so intoxicated and have them staying in my home. I just need a break today.

For those of you wondering about the damage to my things……..

He managed to put 2 dents in our stainless steel kitchen sink. He did this when he took a spatula to an ice bag in our sink. The only reason why I am not pissed is because we are getting ready to remodel our place.

He lost several of our best bottle coozies, because he managed to leave them at the restaurants we went to. Again, I don’t really care, but it’s annoying.

I did openly yell at my BIL, when he discovered his beer had become warm, so he poured it off my balcony, which rained down onto my 1st floor neighbors patio. That pissed me off! But he just did not get the reason why we don’t throw shit off our balcony.

I flat out refused to let him drive my boat or golf cart. He was butt hurt, but I didn’t care.

For those of you familiar with the TV Show, The Munsters………. I married Marylin Munster.

Rant over

 

[SixD9R]

136 beers plus other drinks in 4 days is pretty impressive
Family or not if he annoys you that badly I would never invite him back.

 

[t&y]

Ranting after the fact………

Ive had a tough weekend. My patience was tested like never before. In fact, I am still annoyed.

My BIL consumed 136 beers from Friday through Monday night. This is only the count from our refrigerator and does not count the numerous drinks consumed at the bars and restaurants we went to.

Sunday……..

After Saturdays shitshow, my wife and I decided that we would secretly count how many beers my BIL drank. When we anchored the boat at the sandbar at 1pm, his count was already to 12. We left the sandbar at 5pm, whereas he had consumed an entire case of beer by this time, count is now at 24. We went to a waterfront restaurant, where he started in on the hard drinks. 3 Margaritas.

This is when I got pissed off. Why, other than the obvious? When we went to leave, I made the mistake of thinking he was sober enough to untie my spring line, while my wife got the rear breast line. What a mistake that was. In my entire boating career, I have never seen a cleated line become knotted to the cleat, but my BIL managed to do this. Think about this. You would have to take the bitter end of the line and slide it through at least 2 loops to create a knot. I had to retie the boat to the dock, then get on my hands and knees to get my line untangled from cleat, while the entire restaurant watched. This is also when I could no longer keep my cool and I openly bitched about what had just happened. My wife kept me from just going off.

I must admit, this is when I became a dick. Here is why! Lol

I knew that my BIL was afraid to go into the ocean……… So that’s where I headed. It was so sporty out too. I was one of a very few boats on the outside of the inlet. I did not care! At some point I reached down and turned off my boat, and pretended that we just broke down. Too bad my wife didn’t go along with my ploy, because I was at the point where I was going to get him in a lifejacket and throw him overboard……. and leave! Actually, I just wanted to see him panic. He deserved it! Lol

By this time I am at my wits end. Just imagine being around a drunk that NEVER shuts up. Wants to know the price of anything and everything. Repeats everything because he can’t remember that he asked you the same question 5 minutes ago. I feel like I priced out every boat at the sandbar and also the surrounding homes, and anything that boated by. After a while, I was just pulling numbers out of my ass. I could have cared less. I was just counting the minutes till Tuesday, when he left.

So to finish with Sunday…….. He drank 41 beers, 3 Margaritas, and swigged 3 inches from a tequila bottle in my bar. I did not realize he was doing the tequila swigging until my wife caught him, and told him to at least use a glass. By this time the questions are……. How deep is the intracoastal? How wide? Where do fish come from? Why does seaweed float? I just want to scream…….. shut the Fuck up! Instead…….. I bite a hole through my lower lip and use the blood to write “fuck me“ on my forehead.

Sunday over…..

I did take the advice on this thread and got my drink on Friday night. I felt like shit Saturday, so I did not drink at all. Sunday I had approx 6 in the evening, same with the 4th. My BIL actually insulted me several times for drinking sparkling water all day. I refused to be his drinking buddy.

Speaking of sparkling water……. My BIL’s girlfriend was using a sparkling water can as her ashtray for her cigarettes. She became confused at some point, and end up putting out a cigarette in my sparkling water can. I discovered this, when I saw my drink on the gunnel of my boat, so I took a huge chug, only to spit it out, once I realized I had just taken in something chunky. Needless to say…… it tasted like shit. That taste stayed with me for the next hour. Lol

I don’t hang out with drunks. All my friends are responsible drinkers or don’t drink at all. It really wore on my nerves to be around somebody so intoxicated and have them staying in my home. I just need a break today.

For those of you wondering about the damage to my things……..

He managed to put 2 dents in our stainless steel kitchen sink. He did this when he took a spatula to an ice bag in our sink. The only reason why I am not pissed is because we are getting ready to remodel our place.

He lost several of our best bottle coozies, because he managed to leave them at the restaurants we went to. Again, I don’t really care, but it’s annoying.

I did openly yell at my BIL, when he discovered his beer had become warm, so he poured it off my balcony, which rained down onto my 1st floor neighbors patio. That pissed me off! But he just did not get the reason why we don’t throw shit off our balcony.

I flat out refused to let him drive my boat or golf cart. He was butt hurt, but I didn’t care.

For those of you familiar with the TV Show, The Munsters………. I married Marylin Munster.

Rant over

Damn. Serious question. Have you ever had a real SOBER conversation with him? Sounds like he has some real life alcohol issues.

 

[cofooter]

136 beers plus other drinks in 4 days is pretty impressive
Family or not if he annoys you that badly I would never invite him back.

Damn, thats a lot of beers. I think I could have kept up through Saturday before I tapped out..........

 

[Todd Mohr]

136 beers, very impressive!! I'm sure not fun for anyone else.

 

[hallett21]

That’s almost 13 gallons of beer. Jesus.

 

[Riverbound]

136 beers, very impressive!! I'm sure not fun for anyone else.

That’s @RiverDave level drinking.

 

[cofooter]

Maybe next year, just ship your BIL 136 beers and a bottle of Tequlla and tell him to stay home..........

 

[Canuck 1]

And people wonder why we have a ONE bedroom house

 

[bonesfab]

Thats a few shy of six cases. Holy shit. Just buy him more at that rate and his liver will leave before he does.

 

[RiverDave]

Well you are free until the next time!! LOL.

RD

 

[Sherpa]

Did you let him know he’s not invited anymore?
I sure would have

 

[Roosky01]

I think I can speak for most all of us here...Thank GOD he was at your place all weekend and not ours!

 

[traquer]

Damn. And I thought I had a reason to get pissed off this weekend. Enjoy your week lol!

 

[C-Ya]

Just to answer some questions and statements…….

First……. I am completely stuck with this guy forever strapped to my hip. His sister means the world to me!

We only have to deal with him every few years. BUT and I mean BUT, he drunk dials our number every weekend. We don’t answer calls from him after 6pm. If you answer his call at 10pm on a Saturday night, it becomes a mind numbing experience.

My BIL lives in rural Tennessee. He drinks an 18 pack every night, regardless. Oh what the hell……. Since I am disparaging him, I may as well give all the info. His home has more than 20 cars in some sort of disrepair, but they are all for sale. Trailers, trucks, cars, boats……. It’s a real junk yard. But that’s not what pisses the neighbors off. I am pretty sure it’s his oversized Confederate Flag that states…….. “The world would be a better place if The South had won the War”. No shit, I swear that’s true. The black family down the street from him have tried to get him to remove it, but he refuses. Have I painted the picture already?

What absolutely amazes me……… He appears to get NO hangover whatsoever. However, my wife thinks the reason why he starts drinking so early is too get the hangover to subside. I personally hate being hung over, and I try to keep my drinking in check for that reason. I can’t drink 41 beers in a day.

Which ever one of you that mentioned that my wife and I are to blame for purchasing everything……. You are correct! Lol We are ashamed of ourselves.

We picked up every tab…… again. This actually doesn’t bother us to be generous, but my BIL thinks it’s so normal, that we don’t even get a thank you.

The funniest thing……. He is Cousin Eddie. He is not violent or argumentative. He is just completely intoxicated at all times. Thank god he is not a mean drunk. But the Cousin Eddie analogy is spot on!

 

[beerrun]

So can we get a list of said cars for sale? looking for chevelle caddy c10 mustang asking for a friend

 

[Sportin' Wood]

I come from a long line of losers.

Hangovers are best navigated by the consumption of more. The body simply is asking for more of the same. {This seems a good time to go get another frosty beverage BTW}. My guess is that trips to your house are the highlight of their lives and they lean in a little harder as a result because he is already so entrenched in the habit. The beer is like a security blanket. My guess is that he does actually feel bad and drinks even more to dull the senses. The damage and carelessness are a result of intoxication. It is a wonder he can even stand with that much beer in his gut. Damn, where does it go?

I bet he has no other topics of conversation he can participate in with you and asking questions is about all he has got. It seems he does not have a lot to offer in return for compelling conversation outside what he plans to do with his junk cars and hate speech.


FWIW I was not this tolerant of my own Inlaws, or parents two years ago. A good investment in performance coaching and self-reflection lends giving the benefit of the doubt and lowering expectations. I limit exposure to the worst they have to offer. OR I jump into the darkness of it all and lose myself for a few days. Damn Hangover hurts like hell after those benders. The game changes when they don't have a chauffeur. Keeping up with professional-level drunks is serious business.

 

[Mandelon]

He must have to piss an awful lot.

 

[t&y]

Just to answer some questions and statements…….

First……. I am completely stuck with this guy forever strapped to my hip. His sister means the world to me!

We only have to deal with him every few years. BUT and I mean BUT, he drunk dials our number every weekend. We don’t answer calls from him after 6pm. If you answer his call at 10pm on a Saturday night, it becomes a mind numbing experience.

My BIL lives in rural Tennessee. He drinks an 18 pack every night, regardless. Oh what the hell……. Since I am disparaging him, I may as well give all the info. His home has more than 20 cars in some sort of disrepair, but they are all for sale. Trailers, trucks, cars, boats……. It’s a real junk yard. But that’s not what pisses the neighbors off. I am pretty sure it’s his oversized Confederate Flag that states…….. “The world would be a better place if The South had won the War”. No shit, I swear that’s true. The black family down the street from him have tried to get him to remove it, but he refuses. Have I painted the picture already?

What absolutely amazes me……… He appears to get NO hangover whatsoever. However, my wife thinks the reason why he starts drinking so early is too get the hangover to subside. I personally hate being hung over, and I try to keep my drinking in check for that reason. I can’t drink 41 beers in a day.

Which ever one of you that mentioned that my wife and I are to blame for purchasing everything……. You are correct! Lol We are ashamed of ourselves.

We picked up every tab…… again. This actually doesn’t bother us to be generous, but my BIL thinks it’s so normal, that we don’t even get a thank you.

The funniest thing……. He is Cousin Eddie. He is not violent or argumentative. He is just completely intoxicated at all times. Thank god he is not a mean drunk. But the Cousin Eddie analogy is spot on!

Hold on.... He has a yard full of cars that are all for sale and this is the first mention of it? We need details!

 

[attitude]

He must have to piss an awful lot.

That’s what I was thinking, he might as well just drink while he’s on the toilet all day lol

 

[rrrr]

With that much consumption and his obvious long term tolerance, your BIL is the kind of drunk that would go into life threatening convulsions if he stopped drinking. Hard core alcoholics like him must be hospitalized if they quit.

 

[bonesfab]

You didn’t let him in the pool did you?

 

[hallett21]

I can’t stop looking at 5 gallon buckets and picturing drinking 2 and half of them over 4 days lol.

 

[CarolynandBob]

My wife is my world, however if this were her brother doing this, then I would be gone when they visit.

I would leave and take the boat keys and then just be ready to fix all the shit that get broken. I would simply tell my wife that I cannot put up with them. You can if you want, but I will come home after they leave. I know my wife would not put up with that crap for her brother, so I don't have to worry about that.

 

[Water Romper]

What does "Cousin Eddie" do for income? (sorry if I missed it) and....130+ beers in 3 days?? damn, that would kill me. Funny what we do for love. Any other situation you tell this guy to get lost BUT....what's a guy to do.

 

[Sherpa]

Yeah I think I’d be all over the “ I’m not paying XX $$$ for dill hole to sit around drinking 12 gallons of beer I bought for 4 days……

That’s certainly not normal behavior, and I’m a cheap ass anyway who’s still working,

If you have a “next-year” summer visitor, I think I’d change the mood by putting down some rules.

He needs to bring or buy his own drinks.
Stop asking how much everything costs.
Trade off who’s gonna pay for restaurant meals and bar tabs.

Just because your bride happens to be a high level lawyer, and good person who has done
Well financially, and loves her sibling, isn’t enough to warrant cousin Eddie to act like a complete bum-ass douche while at your
House…

Turn the tables in your head and consider this:

If you and your wife visited him for 4 days,
How do you think you would be “treated”
During that visit?

Not that it’s any of my business of course.

It does make for a funny “Cousin Eddie”
Story!!
—Sherpa

 

[Badchoices03]

What does "Cousin Eddie" do for income? (sorry if I missed it) and....130+ beers in 3 days?? damn, that would kill me. Funny what we do for love. Any other situation you tell this guy to get lost BUT....what's a guy to do.

 

[Gonefishin5555]

The guy needs an intervention. Who the fuck thinks that much drinking should be tolerated under any circumstance. I’d be a dick and remove all the alcohol from the house prior to his arrival