Stuff your wife does that you hate

[Bear Down]

So my issue with my Wife (ex-wife too) is that when you suffer some sort of setback, instead of comforting you, they lose it. And then you have to comfort them! You'd think when I do a minor thing like bash the brand new Jeep off of a tree that she would find it in her heart to know I need to be held. If she bashed our brand new Jeep off a tree I'd have to make her feel better. Why do I get yelled at? The estimate is only $9000. What's the big deal?

LOL...

Husband- "Babe, I crashed the car".... Wife- "was it your fault? what were you doing?"

Wife- " Honey, a car hit me....its bad"... Husband- Forcibly and unnatural "Are you ok? are you in a safe spot?.. .Don't worry we got insurance..Stop crying "

 

[LowRiver2]

I didn’t read back through the posts, but somehow all of our vehicles are out of gas. Im not sure my wife knows where gas gauges are or how to actually purchase gas.


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Current and two prior wives had the fuel light on like it was special prize. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s part of that species (empty gas tanks)

 

[ltbaney1]

we have 2 kids under 3. i get in her car and I swear she just dumps cheerios and fruit snacks everywhere and the half full bottles.

 

[TrollerDave]

we have 2 kids under 3. i get in her car and I swear she just dumps cheerios and fruit snacks everywhere and the half full bottles.

Raising free-range kids?
“We let em roam and graze”

 

[QC22]

Husband- "Babe, I crashed the car".... Wife- "was it your fault? what were you doing?"

Wife- " Honey, a car hit me....its bad"... Husband- Forcibly and unnatural "Are you ok? are you in a safe spot?.. .Don't worry we got insurance..Stop crying "

Exactly, even when they run out of gas. You have to make them feel better about a totally stupid f'ng thing that they did. It is endless. Last night she spilled her precious Starbucks all over the place. She cries, I clean. Eff me!

 

[TPC]

Making a right or left turn traffic has to be clear from Honolulu to Jerusalem.

NFW would you guys believe some of her safe driver stories when I’m sitting shotgun next to her.

Wife is Cautious Carla behind the wheel-
Until she gets on the trail in the Can Am.
If it’s a clear run to over the horizon STFU and hang it the f up. Full throttle.

 

[Bullet28]

No shit, my wife's tahoe always has receipts stuffed in the map pocket and empty water bottles on the floor. I don't mind if thats the only abuse the truck gets, but when she drives my truck for whatever reason she leaves the same mess. Im beyond fanatical about my vehicles, im always barking at her to clean up her mess

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I forgot about her driving my truck, same thing happens.

 

[ltbaney1]

Raising free-range kids?
“We let em roam and graze”

No free range, she give my 2.5 yo daughter those stupid cups with the flappy deal top to "contain" the mess. she figured out how to rip the top off and dump them in her lap. I finally quit fighting with the wife about it, i just clean out her car once a week. but she gets bummed at me because i wont give the daughter snacks in the car to go 10 minutes down the road in my truck. daughter knows in "daddy truck" as she calls it, she can have water or an apple.

 

[Bpracing1127]

No free range, she give my 2.5 yo daughter those stupid cups with the flappy deal top to "contain" the mess. she figured out how to rip the top off and dump them in her lap. I finally quit fighting with the wife about it, i just clean out her car once a week. but she gets bummed at me because i wont give the daughter snacks in the car to go 10 minutes down the road in my truck. daughter knows in "daddy truck" as she calls it, she can have water or an apple.

this is exactly the same for my 2 year old son. No eating in daddy’s truck

 

[TPC]

When I was fighting cancer her stoic poker face German surfaced.
Needles the size of In n Out shake straws right in the chest. Splined with a barb.

No sympathy what so fuckin ever. Zero.
STFU Take this or die.

 

[attitude]

Current and two prior wives had the fuel light on like it was special prize. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s part of that species (empty gas tanks)

About a month or two ago my girlfriend comes home from the beach and informs me she didn’t look at her gas badge until she pulled in the driveway and it shows her range is zero miles, she then asks me to drive HER car to the gas station because she’s afraid it will run out of gas. Nope lol

 

[Mandelon]

My wife is a pro at the Honey Do list. Keeps me hopping on weekends.

She can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Hop in bed... two minutes.....she's out. Zzzzzz My window closes fast!

At night she unloads all her stress stuff on me then falls asleep. Now I have to lay there and stress over everything.

 

[Ladsm]

I love it when my wife takes on a new house project like painting, gets in over her head then it turns into my project and she wants it done now. Hello I didnt sign up for this project.

 

[BingerFang]

As an unmarried man this thread has me dying of laughter.

My time will be up soon enough though

 

[endobear]

Will ask me a question or if I ask her a question Ill get a huh? Or interrupted before I get 2 words out. Drives me nuts.

 

[BONER]

Mine won't STFU when she's tuned up on wine. It's awful. She just keeps talking. About nothing. No other alcohol turns her into a chatter box motor mouth, so when I see her wrapping up that 2nd bottle of wine, I switch it up and hand her a cocktail.

 

[Dettom]

Leaving the fridge wide open, while she’s cooking. Not putting the lid back on anything, and leaving delicate valuable shit, like laptops precariously balanced on the corner of a counter, so if a fkn fly lands on it, down it goes...starting five sentences in a row, and not finishing any of them. It’s like a verbal Gatling gun... Other than that, she’s cool.

 

[1tonfun]

Mine won't STFU when she's tuned up on wine. It's awful. She just keeps talking. About nothing. No other alcohol turns her into a chatter box motor mouth, so when I see her wrapping up that 2nd bottle of wine, I switch it up and hand her a cocktail.

Did we marry the same gal LOL. Mine does the same thing on any alcohol.

 

[SKIDMARC]

Calls me at work to ask me how to turn on the TV? WTF! I tell her how to do it and she still cant figure it out and then she gets pissed when I say I don't have time for this.

 

[warpt71]

Leaving clothes in the dryer! She can pull a wrinkled t-shirt or tank out and put it on and the wrinkles disappear. I, however, can not stand to wear a wrinkled shirt, absolutely drives me nuts

 

[Bullet28]

Man this thread is on fire, I got one more when she is driving she keeps her foot ever so lightly on the brake pedal. So she says drives me nuts.

 

[Ladsm]

I havent heard anyone mention their wife touching the wiener too much like its a play toy.

 

[Nordie]

Calls me at work to ask me how to turn on the TV? WTF! I tell her how to do it and she still cant figure it out and then she gets pissed when I say I don't have time for this.

Yeah fuck that, if my wife calls me at work I know something is wrong. Like I probably have to leave work because someone or something died or car trouble. That's a big no no, don't call me at work.

 

[samsah33]

"Fine"....
The female "F" word in our house...the pin has been pulled, and the Holy Hand Grenade has been tossed...sparks are gonna fly!

I feel your pain, somewhere on the tree I'm thinking our wives share a branch... Just need to play dumb:
"But sweetheart, you said "fine"...! Did you really not mean that? If it's not fine, then why did you tell me it's fine...???"

 

[DrunkenSailor]

Wife is a nurse and her sympathy level is below zero when I am dealing with anything medical. But if its something that she can handle without going to the the ER she is all over it with glee in her eyes. I sliced my finger open pretty good replacing our stove. It needed stitches. She gets this gleam in her eye and starts reaching for a needle. Nope get the hell away from me. Wrapped it in a towel and drove myself to the hospital rather than let that maniacle psychopath play nurse on me. With her patients she is great with me its an opportunity to inflict pain...

The Fine Game.

Playing sex roulette. I never know if I am going to get the cold shoulder and a fight or shes gonna go full porn star and rock my world into next week. I guess its part of the fun?

 

[endobear]

Spits..

 

[JUSTWANNARACE]

Ask her a question, she looks at me and says "huh", give her a weird look for a second, she answers the question! WTF, why did you say "huh"?

No matter what it is, when I hurt myself she hits, slaps, touches it not actually realizing what shes doing. Could be the same day or days after bit she finds it somehow no matter what or where..lol now I just keep it to myself so she only does it half the time! Her Subconscious is a bitch!!

 

[welldigger00]

Yeah fuck that, if my wife calls me at work I know something is wrong. Like I probably have to leave work because someone or something died or car trouble. That's a big no no, don't call me at work.

This. My Olady and I never talk during the day. If she’s calling, it’s an emergency. I can’t stand the young generation workers that think it’s appropriate to talk several times a day to their Olady.


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[Nordie]

This. My Olady and I never talk during the day. If she’s calling, it’s an emergency. I can’t stand the young generation workers that think it’s appropriate to talk several times a day to their Olady.


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I mean at lunch I'll text my wife, it's usually some fucked up meme though. She's the same she works at a Vet, so she doesn't have time to talk on the phone. In 3 years I've called her twice at work, both times we came home with one less animal.

 

[Ziggy]

I love it when my wife takes on a new house project like painting, gets in over her head then it turns into my project and she wants it done now. Hello I didnt sign up for this project.

That is a very normal occurrence in my household.

 

[Ziggy]

Asking me the same question repeatedly hoping to hear a different answer that probably matches one of her preconceived answers she expected to hear.
Albeit she's been a good driver her left/right turns at city speeds often feel like they are square and not rounded.

 

[Nordie]

Right now literally right now. I laid everything on the counter to cook tacos for dinner. She gets up and says don't take up too much counter space, Josie (step daughter) and I are baking cookies.

I'm leaving I'm not cooking shit now, her bright idea is we can all cook at the same time.

Yeah no

 

[monkeyswrench]

I feel your pain, somewhere on the tree I'm thinking our wives share a branch... Just need to play dumb:
"But sweetheart, you said "fine"...! Did you really not mean that? If it's not fine, then why did you tell me it's fine...???"

F'k no! My wife is a hell of a shot, and her and I are both stubborn as hell...I ain't got the guts to risk it...anymore

 

[braindead]

how about walking into another room or already in another room while in the middle of asking you a question, when she knows I can’t hear shit from too many nail gun blasts by the head

 

[4Waters]

how about walking into another room or already in another room while in the middle of asking you a question, when she knows I can’t hear shit from too many nail gun blasts by the head

How about "You talk too loud, I can hear you all the way in the back of the house." 5min later and 10ft away "What? I can't hear you, you need to talk louder." WTF!

 

[bowtiejunkie]

Wife cleans and keeps the house spotless, yet leaves piles of clothes in master bedroom. Drives me crazy. Oh damn, she actually put 3 days worth of dirty clothes away today!

Yep, her project is always my project. Even sewing projects. I’m the math genius apparently. Meanwhile, my projects are like cold cases, not being worked.

Bought a 2-story house. She said I needed a taller ladder. Now I have a 28-ft ladder. No project is out of reach for her...I mean me. Shit.

 

[JD D05]

Wife cleans and keeps the house spotless, yet leaves piles of clothes in master bedroom. Drives me crazy. Oh damn, she actually put 3 days worth of dirty clothes away today!

Yep, her project is always my project. Even sewing projects. I’m the math genius apparently. Meanwhile, my projects are like cold cases, not being worked.

Bought a 2-story house. She said I needed a taller ladder. Now I have a 28-ft ladder. No project is out of reach for her...I mean me. Shit.

I can't stand clutter especially if I can see it. When we built our home I deleted the main level laundry room and put it in the basement lol.

 

[bowtiejunkie]

I can't stand clutter especially if I can see it. When we built our home I deleted the main level laundry room and put it in the basement lol.

Good planning! I keep all my auto detailing chemicals in the laundry room. She hates it. Lol. Then I suggested she use the glaze for the mirrors and windows in/outside of house, plus bought her her own microfiber cleaning towels. She no longer gripes about the chemicals.

She hates clutter too, which is so weird about the clothes laying around the bedroom. Twelve years now and it ain’t changing. Lol

 

[JD D05]

Good planning! I keep all my auto detailing chemicals in the laundry room. She hates it. Lol. Then I suggested she use the glaze for the mirrors and windows in/outside of house, plus bought her her own microfiber cleaning towels. She no longer gripes about the chemicals.

She hates clutter too, which is so weird about the clothes laying around the bedroom. Twelve years now and it ain’t changing. Lol

That genius lol. My wife works a lot in fact she is in the office now working. Best thing I ever did years ago was get a house cleaner. But it sounds to me like you need a bigger garage.

 

[port austin pirate]

always has to drive, thinks she is the worlds best driver, foot on the gas till the last minute then slams on the brakes, Takes off from every stop, like John Force in the nhra finals. waits at every stop sign to see if anyone will show up on the cross street cant see anyone but could be along any minute. my heads like the little bird on glass edge back on go forward on stop, dont say a word

 

[4Waters]

This thread has exceeded my expectations



That said I feel like I am the luckiest man alive, she takes pretty good care of me.

 

[musicFunsun]

That is a very normal occurrence in my household.

Sometimes it’s the only way to get you guys to do something!!

 

[Javajoe]

I try every year to not do it but she says it’s for the grandkids...PITA
Im gunna take a swan dive off the roof someday or just a full gainer from top of one of the palm tree’s

 

[4Waters]

I try every year to not do it but she says it’s for the grandkids...PITA
Im gunna take a swan dive off the roof someday or just a full gainer from top of one of the palm tree’s

View attachment 947893

Do a Triple Lindy, it will be more impressive.

 

[JD D05]

I try every year to not do it but she says it’s for the grandkids...PITA
Im gunna take a swan dive off the roof someday or just a full gainer from top of one of the palm tree’s

View attachment 947893

I won't do that for my kids and I like them.

 

[caribbean20]

Bags and bags of useless crap in the passenger seat overflowing onto the shift lever. “WTF, you DO know it’s kinda important that I have access to that somewhat important part.”

 

[Ziggy]

Sometimes it’s the only way to get you guys to do something!!

Nuh-uh

 

[CarolynandBob]

I am a little ocd. Wife doesn't put shit back where it belongs. Drives me crazy.

If her temperature is 98.9 deg or above she is dying.