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Terminal cancer

beerrun

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So my buddy has terminal cancer i meet him in 86 i had just got stationed at coast guard station san diego he was a reserve and a mechanic at the coors distributor in San Diego. In 88 I had had enough of CG and was getting out he got me a job loading trucks at coors I loaded trucks and decided I wanted to drive so I got my license but with no experience they didn't want me in their trucks so down the road I went staying in touch with my friend. About 5yrs into my driving jeff called and says they need a line haul driver ( my dream job think smokey and the bandit) so back to coors i go. 9/11 happens and jeff if back in the CG full time he stayed active till just a few years ago 36yrs total for him then back to fleet mgr of coors about a year ago they told him he had liver cancer he fought and they removed most of his liver and he kept working. About a month ago he called and said it was now terminal and asked my wife and I if we would take him and his wife shooting down in the desert we couldn't get him there fast enough had a great time and I think the girls shot more then us we sat around talking and I bbq chicken and made chicken sandwiches for us after about 6 hours with a two hour drive home for Jeff we had to go but he was complaining about losing so much weight so this morning I got up at 430 and made him home made mac and cheese all from scratch. I know it will not help but if it gives him a little hope thats all that matters. I'm crying like a baby writing this I'm going to miss my friend
 

HNL2LHC

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What a great friendship. So sorry to hear of the horrible news. I hope that he is one of those that beat the prognosis.
 

Desert Whaler

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Sorry Man . . . sounds like you've brought, and ARE bringing a lot of joy to his life . . . I'd be stoked to have a friend like you when it's my time.
God Bless.
 

Justsomeguy

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This is very sad to hear. Your friend is very lucky to have someone such as you in their life. I am sure you will both cherish these memories and glad you were able to have time together. Praying for your friend.
 

BHC Vic

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Damn man I’m crying reading this. I don’t have many friends but the ones I have really matter. Not sure if you’re religious but I’ll be including your families when I pray with the boys later.
 

Rajobigguy

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Sorry to hear about your friend. Be there for him like you have been and make his last days some of his best. May the good lord be with you all.
 

port austin pirate

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Very sad to hear. we all hope we have friends as careing as you folks are people like you are my heros, and as many have said here it always seems the best are taken first
 

hallett3

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I’m Very sad to hear about your friend. Cancer sucks. I lost my best friend 5 years ago to cancer. When I go to havasu there is a cove we hanged out and it’s hard to drive by it. Think of him all the time . The only healing is that I was lucky that I had him in my life time. I’m sure you will treasure the memories with your friend.
 

monkeyswrench

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The disease is hard on him physically, but hard on those close mentally. Seeing the effect on others I think, makes it harder on those physically inflicted. It is a harsh, viscious reality some endure.

The best gift any of us have to give is time. You cannot buy it, but it's truly priceless.
Your friend knows his time is short, whereas most of us have no clue of our own. Giving him your time is the brightest light in a dark time.

I'm a believer in our time here being short. Friends we may part with will not be lost forever.
 

beerrun

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He is a great guy would do anything for anyone but he is only 60 to young for this shit
 

HubbaHubbaLife

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View attachment 983952 So my buddy has terminal cancer i meet him in 86 i had just got stationed at coast guard station san diego he was a reserve and a mechanic at the coors distributor in San Diego. In 88 I had had enough of CG and was getting out he got me a job loading trucks at coors I loaded trucks and decided I wanted to drive so I got my license but with no experience they didn't want me in their trucks so down the road I went staying in touch with my friend. About 5yrs into my driving jeff called and says they need a line haul driver ( my dream job think smokey and the bandit) so back to coors i go. 9/11 happens and jeff if back in the CG full time he stayed active till just a few years ago 36yrs total for him then back to fleet mgr of coors about a year ago they told him he had liver cancer he fought and they removed most of his liver and he kept working. About a month ago he called and said it was now terminal and asked my wife and I if we would take him and his wife shooting down in the desert we couldn't get him there fast enough had a great time and I think the girls shot more then us we sat around talking and I bbq chicken and made chicken sandwiches for us after about 6 hours with a two hour drive home for Jeff we had to go but he was complaining about losing so much weight so this morning I got up at 430 and made him home made mac and cheese all from scratch. I know it will not help but if it gives him a little hope thats all that matters. I'm crying like a baby writing this I'm going to miss my friend
Feeling ya brother.... lost my best friend last week to Pancreatic cancer.... took 14 mths to take him down at 52.... only advice I'd share is to give him as much love and company as you think is appropriate and if he just wants to sit quietly and watch the stars with you... do it. Also, keep a close eye on his woman, she's gonna need you as well afterwards.
 

LowRiver2

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Going to see a former METRO partner , now K9 handler, that is recovering from stomach cancer. They took 10% of his stomach out, praying it was eradicated for now.
51 years old, great shape all his life. Cancer has no preference, it comes for all of us.
Prayers to your friend, being there is the most important thing friends can do.
 

SBMech

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😞 I always wonder why the good lord takes the good ones from us when there is so many POS he could could take . Sorry about your friend.

They are needed to heal, protect and enrich someone else's life, soldiers of the heavens get called back to duty.

Fucking does not make it any easier. So sorry for you, your friend, and their family.

Spend every moment you can with him.
 

Justsomeguy

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Going to see a former METRO partner , now K9 handler, that is recovering from stomach cancer. They took 10% of his stomach out, praying it was eradicated for now.
51 years old, great shape all his life. Cancer has no preference, it comes for all of us.
Prayers to your friend, being there is the most important thing friends can do.
My grandmother had stomach cancer. They took a majority of her stomach. They gave her 6 months back then. That was just before I was born. I got 21 beautiful years with her. She went, but it wasn't the cancer that took her down. I hope the same for your friend.
 

beerrun

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Feeling ya brother.... lost my best friend last week to Pancreatic cancer.... took 14 mths to take him down at 52.... only advice I'd share is to give him as much love and company as you think is appropriate and if he just wants to sit quietly and watch the stars with you... do it. Also, keep a close eye on his woman, she's gonna need you as well afterwards.
We are there for them both mrs beerrun took his wife to the doctor on Wednesday so she could have a procedure done i have told them I will cook for them mow there lawn whatever they need. The guys from his shop brought his toolbox home and dumped it his tools are now on the floor of his garage I have told him I will come help with that but he just doesn't have it in him to do much. The doctor is saying 3mo to 2yrs I'm not sure he has 3mo they want us to go to BVI with 5hem in June and we are all in but just not sure he will make that trip
 
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Dettom

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Sorry. It’s always hard losing a longtime friend. I’ve lost several. Never gets easier.
 

DILLIGAF

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Damn......Just be there as much as you can and let him know you appreciated the time and friendship.
 

DLC

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I’m sorry to read this.

my mom passed away from cancer in 2003! It took 2 years of wearing her down and slowly breaking her. We as a family were tight surrounded mom with love and good times, a lot of Sunday meals every day of the week, we were all together. Mom loved to hear all the voices and conversations going on. I stopped working and would just go sit in bed with her and hold her hand while she napped. She liked to watch QVC shopping channel, mom was a shopper! 6 months after she passed dad was still getting boxes delivered, we just sent em back unopened.


it was the best of times during the worst time if our lives! Make the most out of everyday! You may not get a tomorrow.

get a wheel chair so he can get around and get out of the house some days he will use it some days he won’t.

cancer is bad stuff! F cancer! Covid is a broken finger nail compared to Cancer
 

rrrr

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It's hard to face these things. I'm sorry.

I was just trading texts with my best friend, a guy that years ago helped me through the hard days of multiple surgeries and much pain. I love the man more than a brother.

He had lymphatic cancer tumors removed four years ago, and now he has another one in his neck. He's put off going to the oncologist. He's depressed. Says fate will determine the outcome. It's tearing me apart. I can't make him get treatment, and watching it happen is hard as hell.
 

HubbaHubbaLife

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We are there for them both mrs beerrun took his wife to the doctor on Wednesday so she could have a procedure done i have told them I will cook for them mow there lawn whatever they need. The guys from his shop brought his toolbox home and dumped it his tools are now on the floor of his garage I have told him I will come help with that but he just doesn't have it in him to do much. The doctor is saying 3mo to 2yrs I'm not sure he has 3mo they want us to go to BVI with 5hem in June and we are all in but just not sure he will make that trip
Yup, my guy had made plans for me to join him in Maui [he lives there full time] for our March Madness traditional celebration... but I could tell he wasn't really confident in Feb that he'd make it to last week of March based on him holding me off on buying ticket. You'll find that he's dealing with death very up close and personal and the doctors will give him spans of months for a period but in my friends case they were in a highly reactive position it appeared. Pancreatic is a none survivable cancer however last summer they told him he was cancer "free" and we partied out there like mad... but come Oct new cancer tumors discovered on his liver and from there things got aggressive. My guy was the ultimate optimist and his spirit helped him immensely... your buddy may be wired differently and cope with his possible death differently. For his doctor to state 3 mos to 2 years is a bit pussified. I dealt with 5 oncologist with my guys wife and frankly cancer confuses them when they try to hand folks a set time of survival. [Culpability] In my friends case we knew they'd thrown in towel when they said they're denying chemo any longer [Insurance] as it was doing no good any longer. That was right about last month when all the hopeful clinical trials were denied. He had three strokes in last 3 weeks.... as body began shutting down. Hospice came to house, I flew to Maui joining with his brothers and he went down watching whales from deck flying on morphine surrounded in love. So continue to support whatever your friend comes up with that he wants to do.... I offered cocaine, hookers and a spin of the globe to travel anywhere he desired in last 6 months. He appreciated the offer... so keep all offers on the table. Hope is what he needs.
 

Looking Glass

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I used to listen to "Rush" every day I could, and I feel it was incredible how he handled his show, life and reality. I do not know how it would be, If I received the diagnosis of being "Terminal" No matter how much you try to be "UP" in the back of your mind = The "END" is Marching on you. 🤔
 

HubbaHubbaLife

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I used to listen to "Rush" every day I could, and I feel it was incredible how he handled his show, life and reality. I do not know how it would be, If I received the diagnosis of being "Terminal" No matter how much you try to be "UP" in the back of your mind = The "END" is Marching on you. 🤔
Its a great point.... I had some very serious and deep conversations with my buddy around knowing his life was ending and how it all felt for him psychologically. Frankly there isn't any news, insights or revelations that we each can't imagine. It basically sucked in essence he said. At 52 there was so much more for him. He made a fortune financially and didn't have the time to enjoy it.
 

Looking Glass

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Its a great point.... I had some very serious and deep conversations with my buddy around knowing his life was ending and how it all felt for him psychologically. Frankly there isn't any news, insights or revelations that we each can't imagine. It basically sucked in essence he said. At 52 there was so much more for him. He made a fortune financially and didn't have the time to enjoy it.



BUT!!

You could go back and forth for hours, on Could Haves, Should Haves, Would Haves. Some people are geared to WORK HARD, VERY HARD 24-7 and maybe already accepted any and all the things that have been and will be Sacrificed for this "WAY" of being Driven.

Then when it is Not A Choice any longer, Maybe Just Maybe Everything Is So Much Different.:(
 

98special

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Your'e a TRUE friend. Life is sooo short. God Speed and my Prayers to ALL!!!
 

beerrun

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He has already had two strokes. Mrs beerrun run took him some gummy bears hoping it will give him the munchies but he was texting me late last night scared to try them 36yrs in the coast guard and a class A
 

Rotten deal

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Sorry to you, your friend and all affected by this. Tough just to read.
 

Looking Glass

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He has already had two strokes. Mrs beerrun run took him some gummy bears hoping it will give him the munchies but he was texting me late last night scared to try them 36yrs in the coast guard and a class A


I am very Poor help in anything close to these type of situations, seems whatever you say it always comes out Wrong.:(
 

HubbaHubbaLife

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He has already had two strokes. Mrs beerrun run took him some gummy bears hoping it will give him the munchies but he was texting me late last night scared to try them 36yrs in the coast guard and a class A
My buddy had three strokes, one each week in final month.... they were eye sight and speech types.... the first two stroke effects were gone in 24 hours and back to normal after a 24 hour hospital stay. Additionally he had 5 total oncologist in 13 mths on island and they all highly recommended weed as a means of reducing chemo effects.
 
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