Unfortunately I have to ask, Divorce Attorney recommendations in Riverside County?

[3.Slow]

No one wants to admit their marriage is a failure, but it has come to that point for me. I can scroll through Yelp and Google reviews for days, but I would prefer to get some suggestions from personal experiences. I am on the western border of riverside county, someone in that area would be ideal.

 

[Trojan Fan]

DM me


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[floatn turd]

Sorry to hear man.

 

[Ziggy]

Sorry to hear. Hope it works out so you both can move on amicably.

 

[gqchris]

Sorry to hear brotha. Stay Strong, keep your head up. Remember to take care of YOU and your happiness is worth ANY amount of money.

 

[Dan Lorenze]

I'm sorry to hear.. Just so you know, everything is going to be ok. I promise..

 

[HBCraig]

Keep your head up brother. It will all be good.

 

[Water Romper]

I am no expert, nor do I have any legal background- But I did get a divorce years ago.
What I learned was, if possible, keep it out of the courts, don't argue who get the friggin BBQ and the dog in front of a judge. The ONLY winners will be the his and hers attorneys. A "Divorce" is the dissolution of marriage- its a form that is filled in court and costs (depending on the state) less than $200.00
Try and "split all assets fairly. I honestly believe the "scorned" lover who is hurt wants to "stick it to the other" out of spite but at the end of the day, no one wins.

Sorry you have to go through a divorce, especially if there are kids. Perhaps one more try at counseling to maybe stay together.

 

[3.Slow]

I am no expert, nor do I have any legal background- But I did get a divorce years ago.
What I learned was, if possible, keep it out of the courts, don't argue who get the friggin BBQ and the dog in front of a judge. The ONLY winners will be the his and hers attorneys. A "Divorce" is the dissolution of marriage- its a form that is filled in court and costs (depending on the state) less than $200.00
Try and "split all assets fairly. I honestly believe the "scorned" lover who is hurt wants to "stick it to the other" out of spite but at the end of the day, no one wins.

Sorry you have to go through a divorce, especially if there are kids. Perhaps one more try at counseling to maybe stay together.

I agree, which is why I have been trying to start this whole process off peacefully, I suggested meeting with a mediator, I suggested a collaborative law process and all my attempts have been met with no response whatsoever. I dont know how else to take that other than she has no interest in working with me at this point. But I have heard all too often that the lawyers are the only winners in a divorce which is what has me soo conflicted about hiring one. It will be a complicated situation, hopefully after interviewing a few, one will just stand out to me as someone that understands what I am trying to accomplish.

 

[OldSchoolBoats]

Sorry to hear man

 

[Uncle Dave]

98% of the the time there are two winners. The Woman and the Lawyer.

Your lawyer keeps her from getting more than the law allows because thats what she's going to get.

If the man outlearns the woman and there are kids the opposing attorney will will force the system to go through the " diss-o-master" and the formula that pops out is the settlement.

Over 10 year marriage and the man risks spousal support - for life.

 

[Looking Glass]

I agree, which is why I have been trying to start this whole process off peacefully, I suggested meeting with a mediator, I suggested a collaborative law process and all my attempts have been met with no response whatsoever. I dont know how else to take that other than she has no interest in working with me at this point. But I have heard all too often that the lawyers are the only winners in a divorce which is what has me soo conflicted about hiring one. It will be a complicated situation, hopefully after interviewing a few, one will just stand out to me as someone that understands what I am trying to accomplish.

The Attorney's "Poison" their mind and Keep the Bonfire raging, from my experience. The one thing I learned and after watching several WW3's Choose your Words and Actions Carefully, Very Carefully. Do as I say, NOT as I did.

 

[ONE-A-DAY]

I agree, which is why I have been trying to start this whole process off peacefully, I suggested meeting with a mediator, I suggested a collaborative law process and all my attempts have been met with no response whatsoever. I dont know how else to take that other than she has no interest in working with me at this point. But I have heard all too often that the lawyers are the only winners in a divorce which is what has me soo conflicted about hiring one. It will be a complicated situation, hopefully after interviewing a few, one will just stand out to me as someone that understands what I am trying to accomplish.

They always start off peacefully, but turn into a shit show over time. There are exceptions but I would say they go that way the majority of the time.

The whole process sucks and you will learn to hate the word “dissomaster”.

At the end many years from now you will look back and say it was worth it. Your kids if you have any will likely say the same. While it was shitty for them then they all say it was best for everyone.

For kids, two homes with love in it are far better than one with none.

 

[Lumpy]

If you have kids DO NOT MOVE OUT!

Go Here.....

Child Custody and Divorce Forum • Index page

forum.mensdivorce.com

Read "The List" immediately!

Again...if you have kids DO NOT MOVE OUT!!

I went through it and got full custody of my then 10 year old son, my EX ended up paying me child support for the next eight years!

 

[ssc]

Since I am a recently retired family law attorney in Riverside, you can PM me your full name and contact number. After I run a conflicts search I may be able to give you some advice.

Cheers, Steve

 

[Tooms22]

I have a buddy that I've known since high school. He's a down to earth guy and easy to work with. I'll DM you his info.

 

[Racey]

No one wants to admit their marriage is a failure, but it has come to that point for me. I can scroll through Yelp and Google reviews for days, but I would prefer to get some suggestions from personal experiences. I am on the western border of riverside county, someone in that area would be ideal.

Does she have an attorney yet? if not go paper up the town's most aggressive lawyers for simple consultations first that way they are off the table for her to use as a conflict of interest

 

[rrrr]

Courage, brother. This too shall pass.

 

[CLdrinker]

Go to Vegas and loose all the money. That’s what my ex did.
Judge stated that it was from the joint account so it was hers to loose.

I don’t think she gambled any if you get my drift.

 

[gqchris]

Since I am a recently retired family law attorney in Riverside, you can PM me your full name and contact number. After I run a conflicts search I may be able to give you some advice.

Cheers, Steve

Thats awesome to offer up.

The Power of RDP!

 

[ChevelleSB406]

Does she have an attorney yet? if not go paper up the town's most aggressive lawyers for simple consultations first that way they are off the table for her to use as a conflict of interest

A fellow Sopranos fan I see A genius move when I saw that. If not, credit for knowing the strategy of conflict of interest that SSC referred to in his message

 

[4Waters]

Over 10 year marriage and the man risks spousal support - for life.

Unless she gets remarried

 

[Wizard29]

I hate to put bad ideas in your head, but unfortunately if she's not responding to your requests to handle this, it's likely because she's working with an attorney of her own already. That's what happened to me. I tried to communicate and get things settled in an amicable way so we could keep the attorneys out of it and she refused to come to the table. Next thing I know, I receive papers from her attorney proposing a "deal" that was never going to happen. After that it was game on. Long (and I do mean long) story short, I ended up wiping the floor with her. I kept the house and all assets with the exception of one car and a few thousand dollars I had to pay her. It was worth it to get out of that marriage.

98% of the the time there are two winners. The Woman and the Lawyer.

....

Over 10 year marriage and the man risks spousal support - for life.

The lawyer winning part of this is true. The woman winning part is not. It sort of depends on who makes more money, really. The Dissomaster is real, accepted by the courts, and is pretty cut and dried. If you are smart, you can minimize the damage though.

Tracing will be important. By that I mean be able to trace as many assets of yours back prior to the marriage as you can. If you owned a vehicle before the marriage, be able to show you did (date on title, etc.). Just because you married her doesn't mean she gets half of what you owned before the marriage. A lot of people don't realize that. Being able to identify and prove separate property can save you big.

The spousal support (alimony) is bullshit and if you make more than her, you could be on the hook for whatever the formula comes up with for that. However, if she makes more than you, it goes the other way too and she could end up paying you. This is one reason I don't quite understand why some guys are cool with their wife not working. If a split happens for some reason, they are fucked if she goes for spousal support. If a short term marriage (less than 10 years) the rule of thumb is that spousal support is paid for half of whatever the duration of that marriage was. As an example, married for 6 years, spousal support is generally paid for 3. For a long term marriage (over 10 years) spousal support is paid until the receiving party cohabitates with another partner, gets married again, or dies.

Anyway, this doesn't have to be a disaster. Play it smart and generally respond in kind. If it gets too far gone, play as dirty as possible. I pulled a few tricks and they worked. There are no "winners" in this (other than the attorneys) but there could be one party who does better than the other. Be that party and do what you've got to do. As I said above, it's worth it to get out of a crap marriage.

 

[spectra3279]

Only thing I can say is get a ruthless woman lawyer.

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[Uncle Dave]

The spousal support (alimony) is bullshit and if you make more than her, you could be on the hook for whatever the formula comes up with for that. However, if she makes more than you, it goes the other way too and she could end up paying you.

Agreed if she out earned him substantively - it could go the other way.

Unfortunately the spousal support/alimony is built into the diss-o master calculation and therefore "bullshit" or not unless he specifically pre-nupped out, the computation will be the starting point of her request as a baseline.
If his offer to her is less than the DOM computation the opposing attorney will cite the precedence of the diss-o-master.

Any good lawyer will run it for him and tell him what he can expect the settlement to look like with a high degree of probability to be the outcome of this- fighting and beating the dissomaster outcome will cost tons of money.


You know how the opposing attorney defines a "house spouse" or stay at home dad right? - "a parasite".

 

[Uncle Dave]

Unless she gets remarried

But she can cohabitate with with another guy eternally.

 

[Wizard29]

But she can cohabitate with with another guy eternally.

No, cohabitation is solid grounds for termination or at least significant reduction of spousal support in CA.

Proving it can be the challenge though.

 

[rivrrts429]

I’d rather be broke than to be in a miserable marriage.

 

[LowRiver2]

Only thing I can say is get a ruthless woman lawyer.

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100%, especially if you end up with a female Judge

 

[LowRiver2]

No, cohabitation is solid grounds for termination or at least significant reduction of spousal support in CA.

Proving it can be the challenge though.

And if you get remarried, your liability for paying spousal in the dissomaster goes down.

 

[Uncle Dave]

No, cohabitation is solid grounds for termination or at least significant reduction of spousal support in CA.

Proving it can be the challenge though.

Cohabitation isnt marriage so its a negotiation, and as you said it can be tough to prove especially of she keeps a separate address - which her lawyer will advise her to do.

The clear cut line is a remarriage, or filing married jointly or separately if they couple manages to hide the fact that they are married - they almost always take the the cheaper tax route which is married/ jointly.

 

[gqchris]

That's why I waited until 45 years to get married to a trophy wife. After reading these stories, "Cheaper to KeepHer" comes to mind. Shit is frightening!

 

[C-Ya]

Get ready to play legal chess......

First, find out who is the best? Make an appt, even if you can’t afford them. Tell them everything. Now that you have done that, your EX will not be able to hire those that you have given details too, because they now have a conflict of interest. It’s called “conflicting them out!”

Gotta Run

 

[Mandelon]

My neighbor just wrapped up a long and messy divorce. Like five years... she wouldn't cooperate with anything. His only bright spot is that she had a terrible lawyer.

Wife ended up getting $250,000 cash, one of the rental properties and $2250 a month for ever.

 

[Wolskis]

The D word came several times. She tried to sound billy bad ass, told her I'll get 4 lawyers at $500 per hour and blow thru the 401k and she'll end up with nothing. It worked, we went thru the D with a mediator. Now I know where each dollar I make goes.
It sucks for sure, stay the coarse young Luke.

 

[HOOTER SLED-]

Cheaper to keep her and get some side poon on the low. Raise your kids man....

 

[BUDMAN]

Damn dude. Sorry to hear of this. Stay strong, and keep the kids in mind. It’s not easy on anyone. It effects the whole family, not just the two of you.

 

[Icky]

I'm gonna subscribe to this since I'm getting married in August

 

[Bobby V]

I'm gonna subscribe to this since I'm getting married in August

1st time?

 

[Icky]

1st time?

Yes, same woman 13 or 14 years. Her lease was up so I had to buy.

 

[HB2Havasu]

Even though your going to pay up the ass Get a Lawyer. It will save you in the end....believe me. I ended up eating about $100K by not getting one when I got divorced. Good Luck.... It gets easier - believe me!!!!

 

[Andy B.]

Sorry to hear went through it on 2014 but you will be happier in the end, take care..

 

[4Waters]

A member who recently went through this is @Cray Paper maybe he could chime in with words of wisdom

 

[riverroyal]

Amazing so many boaters know so much about divorce
I dont have much advise other than life is short
If you can sell shit for cash now do it.
Sell to a friend even so the 'receipts' look in your favor, you know what i mean.
At this point think of it as business. Dont let emotions derail the end goal. Being happy

 

[Melloyellovector]

Amy VonEsch in Fullerton
Get her before your wife does

Thank me later

 

[Rondog4405]

Sorry to hear bro. Back in the day my daughters mom and I were on the verge of doing this.. everyone kept saying it's "cheaper to keep her" ..well I did and only prolonged the inevitable. Should've went with my gut and nipped it in the bud. Hope it all works out for you man.

 

[bonesfab]

let her have all the trivial bullshit. Not worth paying layers to fight over it. Divorces are expensive because they are worth it. And DO NOT parade around with a upgraded piece of ass until after it is final.

 

[MissB]

Speaking from the other side.... I had a lawyer, my ex did not, we did kind of a hybrid, mediator, he represented himself. Welcome to California, she gets half even if it's not in her name, I had the house and vehicles, and a boat in my name, and he walked with a nice chunk of change, and an F250.... It's a shit sandwich, get a layer, if for anything but solid advise, even if you can do mediation. Leave the marriage with zero emotion, no hate, no sadness, treat it like a business transaction. Like others have said, it gets better with time. Best of luck...

 

[JUSTWANNARACE]

No one wants to admit their marriage is a failure, but it has come to that point for me. I can scroll through Yelp and Google reviews for days, but I would prefer to get some suggestions from personal experiences. I am on the western border of riverside county, someone in that area would be ideal.

Not to get off the subject, and sorry to hear about your situation.



But do you happen to own a Toyota?

 

[dribble]

I agree, which is why I have been trying to start this whole process off peacefully, I suggested meeting with a mediator, I suggested a collaborative law process and all my attempts have been met with no response whatsoever. I dont know how else to take that other than she has no interest in working with me at this point. But I have heard all too often that the lawyers are the only winners in a divorce which is what has me soo conflicted about hiring one. It will be a complicated situation, hopefully after interviewing a few, one will just stand out to me as someone that understands what I am trying to accomplish.

Sad but true. When my ex walked after 30 years of marriage (no young kids) I looked up what the laws were. Explained to her what she and I would end up with and asked if she wanted to piss through $50,000 in attorney fees to end up with the same thing or do it ourselves. We hired an attorney/ mediator for $1,800.00 and wrote up who gets what. The attorney made sure it was legal and would be signed by the judge. Sold the house and split the money. Split all the investments down the middle. I paid her for half the boat and the Harley that I kept, sold the other Harley and split the money. The one sticking point was my tools (about 35K worth). She wanted to be paid for half. I told her no. That we would split them up and she could take half of them. She dropped it. Also said that since I was a dirt bike rider when we met that she would not go for half of any of the dirt bikes and equipment. As far as the household stuff I told her to take whatever she wanted.

It’s much better to bend and get it over with quickly. I hope it works out for you.