Your First Experience with Death ………..

[fat rat]

Not trying to be morbid,but have lost a bunch of good friends lately, that got me thinking. So I was thinking last couple days about all the people I lost. My cousin Larry was the first I was a couple years younger than him. he had gotten Luekeima and passed. I Didn’t understand at first and was told he’s in a better place. It was all just a weird experience for my young mind, I was maybe 8-9.

 

[JFMFG]

My first experience was with my grandmother I was prob 18 or 19. Got the phone call she had passed she had dementia. I remember my mom loading us in the car to go be with my grandfather after it happened. I remember going to their house and seeing my grandmother on the couch laying there peacefully. That and the open casket are the images forever in my mind. I wish I didn’t see that. When my grandpa passed almost 2 years ago was my second experience. Again got the phone call 4am as I usually am about leaving for work my uncle had been feeding him some yogurt he was on hospice and then faded after from what I was told. Drove over to be with them again grandfather in his hospice bed a memory I wish I could forget. I skipped the open casket for him but decided to say a few words at the funeral.

 

[FROGMAN524]

Good question. Too many to list, I’ll have to think about this.

 

[Mr. C]

I’ve lost grandparents at a young age. Didn’t know how to deal with or what to feel.
Lost friends and seemed the same.
Always had to be strong and tough as the man
Over the last decade. ( I’m 61)
My wife and others have learned me on emotions.
How to express Cry , grieve. Withdraw for awhile
But become strong to help others.
I know it’s not what you asked with your first experience.
Grieving and death is a very personal experience there is no right or wrong way to deal with it.
You as a person deal with it in your own manner.
Don’t let anybody make feel one way or the other on how you grieve.

 

[Albert]

I can’t ever forget it . My best friend when I was 8-9 yrs old . He got hit by a car right in front of me in front of our house he was my neighbor..He was the same age .

 

[Albert]

Went fishing yesterday on a 3/4 a lady was w her two young sons. She got a call that her father passed . I felt so bad for her . She was in tears and everyone not understanding the situation . I just happened to be next to her . Poor thing

 

[monkeyswrench]

With peers, 11 or 12. Had a friend with epilepsy, and he decided he didn't want to have it anymore
A few years later, the neighbor lost his son to leukemia, he was about 9. We'd watched him and his sisters, and helped out when he and his parents were at Children's.
From then on, things just got rough. Lots of friends and family...

The neighbor, the father of the boy who passed, became a pastor, presided over both my parents' services. He was also who we called for my wedding.

 

[Romans9]

I’ve seen more death than I can remember. First that I remember well was a friend that died from leukemia when I was 5.
My family always was extremely open about death.
I have a pile of funeral folders. I go through them about 5-6 times a year remembering the persons.

This is a picture of my sons and my daughter playing their violins at my Grandmothers funeral;
This photo is not touched up. This is exactly how my phone caught it.
I think I posted this before.

 

[FlyByWire]

I’ve seen more of it than I care to think about. My first work related one was a 2 year old, who was wearing the exact same pajamas I had put my newborn to bed in just hours before. Killed by his DUI father, who lived. That’s all I’ll write about here.

My first personal experience with it was my grandmother. Cancer sucks.

 

[RIVERBORN]

Mom when I was 7, dad at 24. plenty in between.

 

[CLdrinker]

My wife lost her Dad at a young age. She was supposed to be on that plane.

I walked into the hospital to see my grandma the day she died from emphysema she looked liked a skeleton with skin. Her last breaths were the worst noises I have heard to this date. I was in Jr high.

Funny story.
Went to see Grandpa at the old folks home. He never really had a relationship with me. He said Mike you know the worst thing about getting old? What grandpa? Having to hold your balls up out of the water when you take a shit.

He passed a few days later. Think I was a Freshman in HS

 

[bilz]

I was 5 or 6. Grandfather was in the casket but only half was open. I thought they put home in with his knees bent. For years I thought, I can't lay like that.
Second/third don't remember which was first. 7th grade school friend's parents got him a horse for his birthday. He had a brain aneurism at the stable that day. Other friend was riding his friend's dirt bike on the street. He crashed the bike but hide the injuries from his parents. Road rash got I felted, but it was too late for him to get treatment. After that way too many.

 

[DLC]

A friend in HS killed himself after a night out w/ our group….

Had No Idea he was depressed or had issues ….

That was the 1st one that had an effect on me

My mom passed at 59 - I’m now 56, I think of her often

Edit-
F- Cancer !!

 

[Your ad here]

I was born in 89 and there were some as a kid but were old people. The first one that hit me was a high school friend that was KIA in 2009. 2nd death was a close family friend in 2012. That one was hard and was tough for about 3 years.

 

[Racey]

It's never easy. After each one the initial shock is less and less dramatic, but every one of them you feel like a piece of you left with them. But that's not the case. Every one of them, they left a piece for you, and that piece is part of what makes you.

RIP to all of our lost, remember what they left you.

 

[rush1]

My Grandmother when I was 9 years old died of a massive heart attack sitting next to me at the dinner table on new years eve ,she hit the plate of spaghetti face first ! Some thing you never forget.

 

[CarolynandBob]

I have been fortunate. My grandparents died when I was young. I think I was 5 or 6. Anyway I don't remember much about it.

Last March my Florida Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Good friend that was older. Has 2 daughters in Michigan and would call me her Florida son as I would look out for them during the winters. The daughters would call me to find out how their parents were doing, as they wouldn't tell their kids much, because they didn't want to worry them.

She was given 5 yrs with treatment. She had the treatments (immunotherapy) and it killed her. She made it 2.5 months. Was a shock and I still don't think I am over it. Just talked to her husband last night.

 

[DarkHorseRacing]

I was pre-med in college, took a human anatomy class with cadavers. Death ain’t pretty, you sure hope what was that person got to leave for a better place.

 

[Orange Juice]

I drive 30k-36k miles a year for the past 40 years. Most of my drive homes were at 12am-2am.

I couldn’t count how many accidents I arrived before the emergency crew arrive. I do remember those who were jettisoned from their cars, and laying in the road. It was pretty common in my earlier years to drive without seat belts.

Great grand father at 17 was my first open casket wake.

 

[SoCalDave]

My mother when she was 35 and I was 12.

 

[Boat211]

Great grandparents were first. I had a friend in high school pass away from a car accident. My wife 5 years ago is the one I struggle with daily. Cause of death "Unknown"

 

[beerrun]

Mrs lacy when I was like 10yrs old she lived next door and I had a key to her house it was my job to go check on her this was in the 70s well one day I go check on her and she is dead. More then I can remember in the coast guard and most recent my very best friend we just buried last week

 

[monkeyswrench]

This has to be one of the more depressing and memory provoking threads I've read. Sudden flashes back to where I was the moment it happened, when I found out, and the last moments spent with the lost. Scents, sounds and music even. There's been a lot that's happened I guess, more that I somehow lock away.

19 years ago, I flatlined during surgery. Crash team, jumpstart, the whole deal. Through it all, somehow I'm here. I think that's why I try to block out a lot of things, guilt. I don't understand death, it seemingly chooses at random. I don't fear it, it angers me more than anything. An inmate posted last night about the passing of a child's classmate. Too young, entire life ahead of them. I cannot imagine the parents' grief, or don't wish to, but I know the childrens'.

Life is precious, and also very complex. Grief is another emotion, and emotions are the most powerful things we can feel.

 

[fat rat]

This has to be one of the more depressing and memory provoking threads I've read. Sudden flashes back to where I was the moment it happened, when I found out, and the last moments spent with the lost. Scents, sounds and music even. There's been a lot that's happened I guess, more that I somehow lock away.

19 years ago, I flatlined during surgery. Crash team, jumpstart, the whole deal. Through it all, somehow I'm here. I think that's why I try to block out a lot of things, guilt. I don't understand death, it seemingly chooses at random. I don't fear it, it angers me more than anything. An inmate posted last night about the passing of a child's classmate. Too young, entire life ahead of them. I cannot imagine the parents' grief, or don't wish to, but I know the childrens'.

Life is precious, and also very complex. Grief is another emotion, and emotions are the most powerful things we can feel.

Death is inevitable, we can’t stop it. I deal with it often, to many times lately. Lost my best friend a couple of months ago, fell off his roof at 54 years old. Yes I think about him often and our long conversations we use to have. I can’t forget my mother’s pass over 30 years ago, I always thought it would be impossible to live without her. I adapted and somehow survived, we can’t stop it, slow it down or forget about it. Depressing as it is, you just got to deal with it, remember it’s inevitable!

 

[Romans9]

Great grandparents were first. I had a friend in high school pass away from a car accident. My wife 5 years ago is the one I struggle with daily. Cause of death "Unknown"

So sorry to read that.
I’m sure that is beyond words painful.
Wishing you peace and comfort.

 

[TPC]

I came away with a few things serving 4 years in the Marine Corp.
How to back a trailer,
be an expert shot,
but most of all
how really easy it is to get killed.

"Death Comes on Wings." - Ancient Egyptian Epitaph

 

[monkeyswrench]

Death is inevitable, we can’t stop it. I deal with it often, to many times lately. Lost my best friend a couple of months ago, fell off his roof at 54 years old. Yes I think about him often and our long conversations we use to have. I can’t forget my mother’s pass over 30 years ago, I always thought it would be impossible to live without her. I adapted and somehow survived, we can’t stop it, slow it down or forget about it. Depressing as it is, you just got to deal with it, remember it’s inevitable!

Death is inevitable. Had a a teacher explain it as this "No one gets out alive, and no one knows their expiration date". Having been around roofing my entire life, and motorsports a great deal of it, death doesn't bother me for myself near as much as becoming truly disabled. Losing my sight or mobility, that scares the shit out of me. I'm currently the sole provider for a family, and have no other skills than physical ability. Today there's no work because there are doctors appointments for family. I don't fear death, and live with physical pain from 30 years of stupidity. Death may be inevitable, but I'm going down swinging a Louisville Slugger

 

[OkHallett270]

The first time I experienced a death was my mom’s grandmother. I went to her funeral when I was 8 or 9 and that was my first time seeing a dead person. She wasn’t exactly a sweet lady before death. She didn’t like kids and I was always on her nerves when I was around her. Fast forward to 2 years after my high school graduation to the day I lost my best friend to a motorcycle accident. That one was rough. I was 20 and this guy was like a brother to me. Carrying that casket was rough. A few years later I lost my dad’s dad to pancreatic cancer. Watched one of the biggest strongest men I knew shrink down to about 140lbs on a hospital bed in his own living room. I was actually relieved when he passed. He was given 6 months to live and he made it 1.5 years. Then about 6 or 7 years after that I lost another one of my best friends to a plane crash. That guy was also like a brother to me. He did more for God in 28 years than most people do in a lifetime. I got really close with his little brother after he passed. Actually, he and his wife came to Havasu with me and some other friends once years ago. There’s been more run ins than that at this point in life, but those are the ones that really stand out to me in my memories.

 

[cofooter]

My Dad passed away in a car accident when I was almost 5. He was a Civil Engineer and up in Northern California working on a project. We were in So Cal and the police came to the door to tell my Mom. I remember them coming to the door, and my Mom in tears but not much else. My sister was a year older and rembers it well. We still talk about it from time to time........

 

[SoCalDave]

Ran across this ealier today after this thread was posted...so fitting.

Every minute someone leaves this world behind. Age has nothing to do with it.
We are all in "the line" without knowing it.
We never know how many people are before us.
We can not move to the back of the line.
We can not step out of the line.
We can not avoid the line.

So while we wait in line:

Make moments count.
Make priorities.
Make the time.
Make your gifts known.
Make a nobody feel like a somebody.
Make your voice heard.
Make the small things big.
Make someone smile.
Make the change.
Make love.
Make up.
Make peace.
Make sure to tell your people they are loved.
Make sure to have no regrets.
Make sure you are ready…

- Marianne Baum

 

[havasujeeper]

Most police officers are responsible for death notifications. I did it for 25 years. It is never easy. I once had two kids borrow their mom's new car. Yep, they were screwing around, and ended up hitting a car head on. Both cars exploded in flames. The two brothers and a lady, just minding her own business, were burnt to a crisp. I went to the brother's mom's house to notify her. Mom started screaming that she was going to kill both kids if they scratched her car. Yeah, I lost my nerves to say her wish had come true. I told her to expect a call from someone soon. ( LA County Coroner)

 

[stephenkatsea]

I’ve lost a number of very close friends and many relatives. I maintain many fond memories of each of them. The memory I do NOT retain of each of them is what they looked like after they passed. I do not do the open casket deal. My memories are of their lives and the time I was able to spend with each of them. Funerals, open caskets etc are traditional and work for some. But, not for me. I mourn, cry and grieve. I accept death, but not many of the traditions connected with death. Celebrations of Life work well for me.

 

[monkeyswrench]

Most police officers are responsible for death notifications. I did it for 25 years. It is never easy. I once had two kids borrow their mom's new car. Yep, they were screwing around, and ended up hitting a car head on. Both cars exploded in flames. The two brothers and a lady, just minding her own business, were burnt to a crisp. I went to the brother's mom's house to notify her. Mom started screaming that she was going to kill both kids if they scratched her car. Yeah, I lost my nerves to say her wish had come true. I told her to expect a call from someone soon. ( LA County Coroner)

Last year I posted about a kid wrecking his motorcycle. I'd seen him 10 minutes before, riding like an ass. Told my son he's going to die that way...

A new young deputy was given the task of notification...only his second day on his own. My friend and neighbor, pretty high up in the department, was headed home. He heard the radio calls. He radioed his young deputy, and had him call him "off air".
He asked if he wanted someone to go with him. My friend made a u-turn, and met up with the deputy.

He told me as a parent, the things with kids are tough. Telling another parent their child is gone has to be the toughest.

 

[Her454]

Definitely a rough and thought provoking thread. First experience was losing 2 friends at the age of 7. Camping for a week in Nor Cal with family and friends and the day we all packed up to leave, I wanted to ride home with our friends as we all lived in the same town. My dad wouldn’t let me because the kids were going to ride in their cab over camper instead of the truck. Driving home to Concord, we followed them and they were hit head on at Hwy 12. Kids were up in the top of the camper over the cab in the bed. It was a horrible accident and to this day I still cannot drive that road without hearing my friends mother screaming and not understanding at that age why no one could get them out of the wrecked camper. First funeral I ever attended and am glad the caskets were not open. I also lost my mother at 23 years old and I still cannot get the image of her laying in her casket out of my mind.

 

[Her454]

Ran across this ealier today after this thread was posted...so fitting.

Every minute someone leaves this world behind. Age has nothing to do with it.
We are all in "the line" without knowing it.
We never know how many people are before us.
We can not move to the back of the line.
We can not step out of the line.
We can not avoid the line.

So while we wait in line:

Make moments count.
Make priorities.
Make the time.
Make your gifts known.
Make a nobody feel like a somebody.
Make your voice heard.
Make the small things big.
Make someone smile.
Make the change.
Make love.
Make up.
Make peace.
Make sure to tell your people they are loved.
Make sure to have no regrets.
Make sure you are ready…

- Marianne Baum

View attachment 1416668

This is so true. In the last 2 years after leaving California and family, I have lost a brother, sister and 3 very close friends. You can’t get that time back. Live, love and make priorities while you can.

 

[Willie B]

…1975ish…We loaded the 1970 Ford station wagon up, hooked up the flat bottom boat… whole bunch of us were going to Pine flat for a waterskiing weekend. I was supposed to be in the car but had been up all night partying and decided not to go… In the town of Dinuba freight train came out from behind a warehouse at 50 miles an hour… My good friend was driving the Ford station wagon. His girlfriend was sitting next to him… Her two twin sisters and a good friend the backseat and another guy riding shotgun in the front seat… The woman who essentially raised all of us lunatics… sleeping In the back of the station wagon… the wagon and boat smacked into the side of the train… The wigwag signals to warn of oncoming train were not working… The woman who raised us died on impact… My friends girlfriend sitting in the middle of the front seat did not survive going out the windshield … Everyone else in the Ford station wagon survived but all had major injuries … yeah, the railroad paid out millions of dollars, but it did not bring back my friends girlfriend who was about 24 or the woman who raised all of us lunatics who was about 50… All that railroad money has never eased the pain for the survivors and the deceased’s friends… Not something I will ever get over…Being a pallbearer for the great woman who kept us on the straight and narrow was really hard… I was still in my 20’s..;

 

[farmo83]

I remember vividly being like 5 or 6 and dad coming into my room saying we were driving to Texas that grandma was sick, we lived in Wisconsin at the time. She passed before we got down there.

I honestly don't know what's harder having it be sudden or a low drawn out process. My uncle passed away suddenly without notice of a massive heart attack. A long time family friend easted away from Parkinsons and it was so painful to watch but we got spend time with him.and say good bye.

 

[petie6464]

Yes, All I can think of is one moment they are there and the next they are a memory. .

It's the strangest thing; Life with loved ones seems to go on forever and in an instant it changes forever..

 

[dave29]

My dog Prince when I was just a little guy. I cried so much for so long. I hate to say this but there are friends i've lost and not cried. Every dog i've owned that passed I turned into a mess.

 

[t&y]

Family to natural causes really young...
Family and Friends to suicide teenage years...
One of the most prolific ones in my early twenties was two young kids drowning in a backyard pool while their dad was passed out on Budweiser.... only to be topped by talking to a few different people who were dead already, their brain just hadn't shut down yet. After those experiences early on it all just kind of rolls together. Losing close friends and family is never easy no matter what your prior exposure is.

 

[Nordie]

My first brush with death was actually on Lake Mead. My mom, step-dad and brother were camping at the lake for a long weekend. It was a casual day and I was sitting in the the towable tube, I had my knees in first so I was lodged into the tube. (I was probably 8 or 9).

My brother came swimming up and wanted to flip me over. I told him with my knees that technically I'm stuck in this thing. He flipped me anyway, so as I was under water. So as I was underwater and flipped over I started trying to swim while still stuck in the tube. I thought I was trying to swim towards shore, but little did I know I was swimming away from shore. I was coming to the reality that this might be it, then boom my mom realized I was in trouble, and she came and got me out of the upside down tube.

I'm still not a fan of tubing after that.

Now real life stuff, my grandpa passed away unexpectedly (he was a health nut), I moved in with my grandma to help with the property. On a Monday 5 weeks after my grandpa passed away, I left for work. That afternoon I came home and the house looked exactly as how I left it. I remember walking down the hallway saying "you better be in bed sick". I knew as I walked into my grandma's bedroom exactly what I was going to find.

I'll never erase that memory from my head, but she was definitely at peace.

One of the police officers that showed up was nothing but amazing, he grabbed my hand and said a prayer. I actually sent a letter to Metro PD about his professionalism.

I've seen too many people die, I don't want to see it anymore...

 

[Willie B]

My dog Prince when I was just a little guy. I cried so much for so long. I hate to say this but there are friends i've lost and not cried. Every dog i've owned that passed I turned into a mess.

… I hear you on losing a dog… My half St. Bernard half Newfoundland was the only dog allowed to run around loose on our movie locations… He was also allowed to run around loose when I lived aboard… He only lived to be 7 1/2… I didn’t know it at the time… But big dogs have a short life expectancy… Was a very sad day for me…

 

[stephenkatsea]

I’ve lost far too many close friends and relatives. There was not a damn thing I could do about any one of them. Ironically, I’ve saved the lives of 3 total strangers. All separate instances and I couldn’t even tell you their names. But, I’ll never forget doing it.

 

[monkeyswrench]

.... only to be topped by talking to a few different people who were dead already, their brain just hadn't shut down yet.

This is the stuff that haunts me, and it's not always in dreams. Something seemingly random can trigger an image, and that leads to replaying the entire episode. It's really F'd up.

 

[Sportin' Wood]

I've hesitated to contribute to this thread. There have been many close calls in my personal life, racing, riding motorcycles and doing thrill seeking activities. But the story I want to share is from my time as a teenager working for CDF in RivCo as a Paid Call Firefighter.

I wanted to be a fireman from the third grade and completed all my training and was responding to medical aids and fires as a member of Station 7 at 17 years old. Station 7 was one of the busiest departments in the country in the mid 80s as it was in Sun City a retirement community. Our secret motto was "Start your Day, with a DOA", because every damn morning we responded to a call were the family waited until 7:00 am to call 911 after a family member passed over night. You get really calloused about death when you see it every day as a teenager. I don't think anyone considered the mental maturity of a teenager participating in this activity. I don't see those faces, I don't recall any specific details. However.

Graphic, some my find this disturbing, please ignore if you are sensitive.

I recall with exceptional detail the night I responded to the Motorcycle crash in front of KFC. The rider was not wearing a helmet. I was tasked with applying traction and holding his head while we tried to save his life. He was repeating over and over not to cut his leather jacket as the shears cut through it like paper. I watched the light leave his eyes as he looked me in the eye and was locked on me without blinking. At some point I inadvertently wiped my wet hand on my uniform shirt. Back then we did not wear gloves in every case when we arrived on scene. He passed away on the street with a half dozen first responded trying desperately to save his life. Most of us were teenagers and young adults, less than 25 years old. The rider never stood a chance, he had a major head injury and skull fracture. The fluid was a mix of blood, and brain matter. The pool of blood was incredible.

I see this guys face in my dreams and relive this movie on a regular basis. There are other honorific memories from medical aid responses. Mostly car crashes, some with kids, some burned and mangled bodies I will never unsee. The whole team seemed to deal with the trauma by joking about death. One way was to tease each other. Gray Matter was a common nickname for me, (Oingo Boing) so much that I used it as a CB handle for some time.

I eventually made every attempt to avoid medical aids. So much eventually leaving Company 7. You see Paid Call Firefighters only got paid for responding to fires in the 80s, we responded to medical aid call as volunteers. With AIDS gaining steam and a lack of training on the subject, I decided that I was no longer willing to risk my life for free on medical aid calls and gave up on being a firefighter. I loved fighting fires, but medical aid calls became too much to handle for a kid.

That time in my life has made me pretty cold in regards to death. There was zero regard for the mental heath of these "Kids" doing public service. I did this for three years and consider it my contribution as opposed to military service. In hindsight I would have been better served to join the military, because at least I would have veteran benefits for my service.

We are fragile, there are lots of easy ways to die.

 

[cofooter]

I've hesitated to contribute to this thread. There have been many close calls in my personal life, racing, riding motorcycles and doing thrill seeking activities. But the story I want to share is from my time as a teenager working for CDF in RivCo as a Paid Call Firefighter.

I wanted to be a fireman from the third grade and completed all my training and was responding to medical aids and fires as a member of Station 7 at 17 years old. Station 7 was one of the busiest departments in the country in the mid 80s as it was in Sun City a retirement community. Our secret motto was "Start your Day, with a DOA", because every damn morning we responded to a call were the family waited until 7:00 am to call 911 after a family member passed over night. You get really calloused about death when you see it every day as a teenager. I don't think anyone considered the mental maturity of a teenager participating in this activity. I don't see those faces, I don't recall any specific details. However.

Graphic, some my find this disturbing, please ignore if you are sensitive.

I recall with exceptional detail the night I responded to the Motorcycle crash in front of KFC. The rider was not wearing a helmet. I was tasked with applying traction and holding his head while we tried to save his life. He was repeating over and over not to cut his leather jacket as the shears cut through it like paper. I watched the light leave his eyes as he looked me in the eye and was locked on me without blinking. At some point I inadvertently wiped my wet hand on my uniform shirt. Back then we did not wear gloves in every case when we arrived on scene. He passed away on the street with a half dozen first responded trying desperately to save his life. Most of us were teenagers and young adults, less than 25 years old. The rider never stood a chance, he had a major head injury and skull fracture. The fluid was a mix of blood, and brain matter. The pool of blood was incredible.

I see this guys face in my dreams and relive this movie on a regular basis. There are other honorific memories from medical aid responses. Mostly car crashes, some with kids, some burned and mangled bodies I will never unsee. The whole team seemed to deal with the trauma by joking about death. One way was to tease each other. Gray Matter was a common nickname for me, (Oingo Boing) so much that I used it as a CB handle for some time.

I eventually made every attempt to avoid medical aids. So much eventually leaving Company 7. You see Paid Call Firefighters only got paid for responding to fires in the 80s, we responded to medical aid call as volunteers. With AIDS gaining steam and a lack of training on the subject, I decided that I was no longer willing to risk my life for free on medical aid calls and gave up on being a firefighter. I loved fighting fires, but medical aid calls became too much to handle for a kid.

That time in my life has made me pretty cold in regards to death. There was zero regard for the mental heath of these "Kids" doing public service. I did this for three years and consider it my contribution as opposed to military service. In hindsight I would have been better served to join the military, because at least I would have veteran benefits for my service.

We are fragile, there are lots of easy ways to die.

Wow, heavy!! Just consider you were the last person he saw and was trying to to help, hopefully that gave him some comfort in his final moments!

It's easy to die but there are a lot of people that should have died but did not due to modern medicine and the extraordinary human body.

 

[monkeyswrench]

...We are fragile, there are lots of easy ways to die.

I think until you witness it, or are a part of it, most will fail to understand it. Every experience from our past shapes us into who we are later. In some ways, yes, callous to some things, but in other ways, more respectful of things that you may not have thought about. There are pros and cons. Everyone's window to the world is a different view. Life isn't always rose gardens, and very few are left untouched by it.

 

[evantwheeler]

I have been extremely blessed on this topic, especially considering the stories above. All 4 grand parents lived past 80, with 2 of the 4 passing 90 and all passing of natural causes. Mom and Dad, and Aunts and Uncles are aging, but doing well. At 40 years old, I have not attended a single funeral for a friend from growing up or that I've had since leaving home at 18, not because I'm a cold soul who doesn't attend funerals, but no one I know has passed away.....

 

[bonesfab]

Lost grand parents early. First funeral I attended was around 5 yo. I have attended many since then. Friends on motorcycles were a few. Not a whole lot of death first hand though. I am kinda cold about the whole thing and say a funeral should be a happy celebration of life with laughing and joking and remembering the good times. There is enough sadness and sorrow.

 

[stephenkatsea]

I've hesitated to contribute to this thread. There have been many close calls in my personal life, racing, riding motorcycles and doing thrill seeking activities. But the story I want to share is from my time as a teenager working for CDF in RivCo as a Paid Call Firefighter.

I wanted to be a fireman from the third grade and completed all my training and was responding to medical aids and fires as a member of Station 7 at 17 years old. Station 7 was one of the busiest departments in the country in the mid 80s as it was in Sun City a retirement community. Our secret motto was "Start your Day, with a DOA", because every damn morning we responded to a call were the family waited until 7:00 am to call 911 after a family member passed over night. You get really calloused about death when you see it every day as a teenager. I don't think anyone considered the mental maturity of a teenager participating in this activity. I don't see those faces, I don't recall any specific details. However.

Graphic, some my find this disturbing, please ignore if you are sensitive.

I recall with exceptional detail the night I responded to the Motorcycle crash in front of KFC. The rider was not wearing a helmet. I was tasked with applying traction and holding his head while we tried to save his life. He was repeating over and over not to cut his leather jacket as the shears cut through it like paper. I watched the light leave his eyes as he looked me in the eye and was locked on me without blinking. At some point I inadvertently wiped my wet hand on my uniform shirt. Back then we did not wear gloves in every case when we arrived on scene. He passed away on the street with a half dozen first responded trying desperately to save his life. Most of us were teenagers and young adults, less than 25 years old. The rider never stood a chance, he had a major head injury and skull fracture. The fluid was a mix of blood, and brain matter. The pool of blood was incredible.

I see this guys face in my dreams and relive this movie on a regular basis. There are other honorific memories from medical aid responses. Mostly car crashes, some with kids, some burned and mangled bodies I will never unsee. The whole team seemed to deal with the trauma by joking about death. One way was to tease each other. Gray Matter was a common nickname for me, (Oingo Boing) so much that I used it as a CB handle for some time.

I eventually made every attempt to avoid medical aids. So much eventually leaving Company 7. You see Paid Call Firefighters only got paid for responding to fires in the 80s, we responded to medical aid call as volunteers. With AIDS gaining steam and a lack of training on the subject, I decided that I was no longer willing to risk my life for free on medical aid calls and gave up on being a firefighter. I loved fighting fires, but medical aid calls became too much to handle for a kid.

That time in my life has made me pretty cold in regards to death. There was zero regard for the mental heath of these "Kids" doing public service. I did this for three years and consider it my contribution as opposed to military service. In hindsight I would have been better served to join the military, because at least I would have veteran benefits for my service.

We are fragile, there are lots of easy ways to die.

First responders and medical providers are God’s first team. My sincere thanks goes out to all of them.