I guarantee you, Mr. Asshole, are not on RDP because you are too much of a bitch to own a boat or anything closely related to "Cool." If for some miraculous reason you were to ever read this, fuck you! 
I WAS a cyclist earlier in my life and have ridden everywhere from rural roads to trails and through congested city streets. Let's say I have PLENTY of miles under these feet. I've dodged cars, crashed a number of times and have broken bones. I'm not new at cycling. I am also a very courteous rider which is apparently as rare as a Schiada in the water.
Today, I had to run an errand in our fine city, and pulled into a parking lot. And there they were. Mr. Asshole and his dipshit friends. Clogging up the center of a small parking lot waiting for other hairless, skinny wheel fanatics to arrive at "The meet spot." There were about 8-10 guys, hunched over their bikes, feet spread out on the ground, talking. Waiting. Doing nothing. As I pulled in, a few looked in my direction, and continued talking about granola, carbon fiber frames and gay sex. Whatever.
Just my luck, this group of homos happened to be staged in front of the last available parking space. No problem, I'll go around. So I did. I pulled in to the right side of them, and slowly circled to the left, so as not to disturb them. Mr. Asshole looked at me a second time....then looked back towards his friends. I shifted my truck into reverse and proceeded to back into the parking space.
I completed this slow-speed parking maneuver at an extremely slow speed. Why?? Because I'm not an asshole and I LOVE my truck!!!! I didn't want to hit anyone and more importantly, didn't want to scratch my baby.
I slipped her in there slow, nice and smooth, just like Shintoooo did on his birthday.
Did ONE of those Spandex-wearing dicks on their cute little bikes move a muscle?? Nope. Notta one. They all just stood there coddling their miniscule nutsacks and outrageously expensive pedal machines. That's cool, don't worry, I've got this. I'm a professional driver.
But Jeeeeezus, at least make it LOOK like you're not a fucking douche! At least make it seem like you're sorry for being in the way, or plugging up a parking lot inconveniencing other folks who are simply going about their day. For fucks sake!
I ran inside, did my business and went back out to my truck to leave. I hopped in, turned the key and fired up that 6.0 LS engine powered by fire, tornadoes and masculinity. The sound must have startled them in their cute little ankle socks because the moment the motor turned over, those cucks scattered like mechanics at Sunrise Ford when the food truck shows up!
I pulled out of the parking lot just shaking my head in disbelief. Focking guys!!!
Rant over. Now on to something more meaningful.....
FUCK inconsiderate cyclists!!!
Have a great day!!
I WAS a cyclist earlier in my life and have ridden everywhere from rural roads to trails and through congested city streets. Let's say I have PLENTY of miles under these feet. I've dodged cars, crashed a number of times and have broken bones. I'm not new at cycling. I am also a very courteous rider which is apparently as rare as a Schiada in the water.
Today, I had to run an errand in our fine city, and pulled into a parking lot. And there they were. Mr. Asshole and his dipshit friends. Clogging up the center of a small parking lot waiting for other hairless, skinny wheel fanatics to arrive at "The meet spot." There were about 8-10 guys, hunched over their bikes, feet spread out on the ground, talking. Waiting. Doing nothing. As I pulled in, a few looked in my direction, and continued talking about granola, carbon fiber frames and gay sex. Whatever.
Just my luck, this group of homos happened to be staged in front of the last available parking space. No problem, I'll go around. So I did. I pulled in to the right side of them, and slowly circled to the left, so as not to disturb them. Mr. Asshole looked at me a second time....then looked back towards his friends. I shifted my truck into reverse and proceeded to back into the parking space.
I completed this slow-speed parking maneuver at an extremely slow speed. Why?? Because I'm not an asshole and I LOVE my truck!!!! I didn't want to hit anyone and more importantly, didn't want to scratch my baby.
I slipped her in there slow, nice and smooth, just like Shintoooo did on his birthday.
Did ONE of those Spandex-wearing dicks on their cute little bikes move a muscle?? Nope. Notta one. They all just stood there coddling their miniscule nutsacks and outrageously expensive pedal machines. That's cool, don't worry, I've got this. I'm a professional driver.
But Jeeeeezus, at least make it LOOK like you're not a fucking douche! At least make it seem like you're sorry for being in the way, or plugging up a parking lot inconveniencing other folks who are simply going about their day. For fucks sake!
I ran inside, did my business and went back out to my truck to leave. I hopped in, turned the key and fired up that 6.0 LS engine powered by fire, tornadoes and masculinity. The sound must have startled them in their cute little ankle socks because the moment the motor turned over, those cucks scattered like mechanics at Sunrise Ford when the food truck shows up!
I pulled out of the parking lot just shaking my head in disbelief. Focking guys!!!
Rant over. Now on to something more meaningful.....
FUCK inconsiderate cyclists!!!
Have a great day!!
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