My twenty-somethings kids are just, different. Anyone else noticing this?

[wash11]

I can’t say it’s good or bad- it’s just different.

When I was 27 I was married with two kids, was on my second home, and almost a decade into my chosen career path. Sixty-hour work weeks followed by boat and hot rod projects and planning the next house upgrade seemed normal.

I have two kids in their twenties, college educated with all the opportunities to succeed or excel in a familiar path. Both are single, rent rooms with friends in their chosen locations, and just kind of live life without pushing for things my generation pushed for. My son enjoys DJ’ing and being a part of the Phoenix stand-up comic world and carries a couple of jobs to cover the bills, with a smile on his face. My daughter likes the Flagstaff vibe and does just enough work to pay rent and go on whatever adventures she feels like going on with friends or by herself. She has no car on purpose because Uber is cheaper and requires her to work less, leaving more time for travel and hobbies. Both take care of themselves and never ask for anything. After a few years of watching this dynamic, it seems pretty normal for an entire generation. We’ve hosted lots of young travelers looking for farm experience. With little to their names and little holding them back- they just seem to be on a long adventure looking for a little slice of happiness. I know there are more driven kids out there who will likely slay the world with little competition, and I honestly identify more with that mindset.

I’m getting better at not wanting more for the kids and even marveling at the simplicity of their choices at times. I know just as many people my age on the path to a more simple life so it leaves me wondering if some of these kids have things figured out better than I did at that age.

Not bashing this generation that goes in either direction, just thought it might make for an interesting conversation.

 

[TrollerDave]

They say “youth is wasted on the young”. Maybe they’ve decided not to waste it anymore. It will be interesting to see how things work out when they’re older. It will be different than what we know.

 

[Ziggy]

My daughter is similar in that regard but is banking the majority of her payroll. Lives in Asia & enjoys the inexpensive travel options she has there. Has seen many places I likely will never get eyes on.

 

[paradise]

it is definitely an interesting dynamic and I can certainly see the allure (as a 36 year old). That said, I wonder how this will all play out when they are 40, 50, 60, 70 or older? Will our population end up shrinking because they decide it's not worth having kids or it's "too late"? What about costs later in life?

I have no idea how it ends up in 60 years but I think the divide between haves and have nots is going to continue to grow wider and wider.

 

[Ziggy]

it is definitely an interesting dynamic and I can certainly see the allure (as a 36 year old). That said, I wonder how this will all play out when they are 40, 50, 60, 70 or older? Will our population end up shrinking because they decide it's not worth having kids or it's "too late"? What about costs later in life?

I have no idea how it ends up in 60 years but I think the divide between haves and have nots is going to continue to grow wider and wider.

Don't worry, the government will save them

 

[brecht]

Its an uphill battle for sure.

I'm 34, married at 28, bought our house at 30, with and now with a 2.5 year old. Fortunately we are both the super career focused outliers but even then going from your cushy parents house to realizing rent is $2k a month for a decent 1 bedroom, there's no such thing as a cheap car anymore, interest rates are through the roof, can't go to the grocery store for less than $100, gas is $6, college is a roll of the dice for most, social media's showing everyone living a baller life but you.... Going from parents to solo is a HUGE jump now and its easy to just want to stay in and be simple especially if everyone you know is a text message away.

 

[King295]

The 25-30ish age group, at least in Southern California, is definitely in a tough position and while I don't think they explicitly acknowledge it I see their actions as subconsciously accepting the fact that it is going to take a ton of hard work to "make it". With the high cost of living, let alone buying a house, I think they are accepting as fact that if they want to make it they are going to have to work hard and many are not willing to make the sacrifice. I think social media has a lot to do with that, constantly seeing people living in an artificial universe of showcasing how "great" everyone's lives are.

I have a family member in this category. Works a mediocre job with no real ambition to progress, lives at home, and seemingly lives for going to music festivals. Seems perfectly content other than "wanting" to live alone or with friends but makes no real effort to make that happen.

 

[paradise]

Its an uphill battle for sure.

I'm 34, married at 28, bought our house at 30, with and now with a 2.5 year old. Fortunately we are both the super career focused outliers but even then going from your cushy parents house to realizing rent is $2k a month for a decent 1 bedroom, there's no such thing as a cheap car anymore, interest rates are through the roof, can't go to the grocery store for less than $100, gas is $6, college is a roll of the dice for most, social media's showing everyone living a baller life but you.... Going from parents to solo is a HUGE jump now and its easy to just want to stay in and be simple especially if everyone you know is a text message away.

Wow, very good insights. I think you hit the nail on the head with the Social media and connectivity via technology. Why do you need to work hard to earn money and get a house and boat to hang out with your friends if you can just do it virtually

 

[bagged97taco]

It’s the new way of life for the younger generation. My cousin went to school to be a doctor. Did his residency and now works only 1 week a month to pay bills and travel the world. I don’t get it. He has no life goals. Just be on the move

 

[Ziggy]

Are these 20 somethings the children we all protected & coddled as we reared them? Are we the cause?

 

[eand28]

I fall into that age range and I can't see renting for years. I understand why some do. They can jump from city to city with a job change and they can experience the social scene or travel without worrying about a house to care for. I know there are some that do want to settle down and buy a house but with the way the housing market is, it's not feasible unless you have 100K to put down as a starter home is 300k+ in most areas. There are some that can't afford doing much due to student loans. I also think part of it is also due to how expensive everything has gotten and wages haven't really kept up

 

[grumpy88]

While the life style sounds great today what pays for tomorrow ? Sounds like the final phase before socilalism.

 

[CLdrinker]

Dam kids nowadays.

 

[Mandelon]

It seems experiences are more important than things to them. Real estate is pretty much already out of reach. A fixer in a decent area is already close to a million dollars. They may have just given up on that part of the traditional American Dream...

My daughter makes good money but is content with her 2004 Volvo. She saves at least 10% of her earnings and will be fine. She is renting half of a two bedroom duplex from us. It will be hers someday anyhow.

My son works for me part time, but is not ambitious about things. He will take over the property management side of things eventually but has been working on getting his RE License for far too long. His girlfriend is a catch. She's an engineer and doing well. Hopefully he puts a ring on that. LOL

He's nearly 30. I was married at 24 and had a house by 26, and kids at 28. That's not early by traditional standards but kids today are sure pushing things off down the road. I think maybe he sees how much I work and is rebelling against that? Hard to tell. I took plenty of time off when the kids were young for camping, travelling and river trips.

 

[regor]

All these YOLO knuckleheads are in for a rude awakening down the line, especially if they have no inheritance to fall back on.

 

[Wizard29]

This doesn't go for all of them, but my opinion is it's largely a function of laziness with a lot of them. The new generation should be called the "I can't" generation. Saving for and buying a house? I can't. It's too expensive. Buying a car? I can't. It's too expensive and there are other ways to get around. Actually getting out on your own on your own two feet and making a success of yourself? I can't. It's too hard and I can't afford it.

Yes you can. It's not easy, but yes you can. Maybe you have to do without some of the other stuff like the hottest new phone, expensive sushi restaurants, and travel destinations that social media says everyone must partake in, but it can be done.

Problem is it takes hard work and sacrifice, neither of which seem to be taught any more.

There's something to be said for having experiences while you are young and able enough to enjoy them, but building an asset base and looking ahead to retirement is also important.

The "worry about it later" mentality seems prevalent and I wonder what will happen to those who wait too long and have nothing to fall back on later in life when a real disaster happens or they become too old to work as a barista any more. Seems like they are being taught that someone will always take care of them and that's where we start to see the pattern of heavy reliance on the government.

 

[mbrown2]

I think it is multi-faceted:

• Culture (new generation do not follow the american dream and do not see a house/family as the measure of success).
• Dismayed - I think growing up in the 90's, 2000's, ect the youth been through a couple of different up/down cycles and see how the rich get richer and poor get poorer and how their parents are impacted, so their ideas of wealth and accumulation is different than past generations.
• Entitlement - It's a generation of entitled youth that have not faced much challenge and been given most things. Boomers and Gen X'rs raised the current crop of 20 yr olds and have seemed to make everything easy for them and as such when faced with the real world they fit in and do the minimums to keep themselves content (car, starbucks, ability to eat out, door dash, maybe a weekend vacation, concert ect)...no long term strategy even though they are degreed.
• Inflation vs wages... this is one article I was reading; "Overall, for 54% of workers, nominal wage growth has not kept up with inflation. Typically, the share of workers with real wage declines ranged from 42% to 48% from the mid-1990s up to 2019, according to the Dallas Fed."

I think they will grow up and I have hope but so many factors go into the current youth. I will say, most people I know that are truly successful came from an environment with less and as such faced tough times all their lives and overcame and achieved.

What is the saying from Michael Hopf...Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.

 

[dread Pirate]

I have 4 kids over 18 now, My oldest went to college and grad school to become a therapist and works with women who have been victims of abuse. Noble for sure, but paychecks don't reflect what I believe 6-7 years of school should equate to. Lives outside Boulder and travels to Wyoming and Montana often while working online. Wants to try van life for a couple years next spring. She's happy and is seeing more of this country than most of us ever will.

My next daughter works 2 part time jobs bartending and spends the rest of the time doing her art and beach combing. She's happy, but no real drive. Just trucking along.

Next daughter is a senior at UC Davis and is hard driven. Has a plan to move to Bend Oregon after school with a $100k job plan. She's working 3 part time jobs at the moment and going to school as well as riding her horse in the arena almost daily. She's a badass and I refer to her as my Beth Dutton.

My eldest son has his goal set on welding and fabrication with a hobby of race cars. He's not afraid of work or getting dirty. Open to learning new things and eats it up.

Hard to say where my younger boys will go,, One can drive a race car like a pro, but can't focus on much else,,, Youngest is sometimes way too smart for his age and may be dangerous,

 

[Cole Trickle]

Are these 20 somethings the children we all protected & coddled as we reared them? Are we the cause?

I think that as well as many grew up in broken homes or with false promises.

If you go to college you will rule the world and get a 100k a year job easy. (Tons and tons of BS degrees that barely get you a job at starbucks)

Parents busted ass and sacrificed family time for 20 years and then get laid off and divorced at 55 and live an unhappy life.

Home prices

shit employers

Countless reasons really

 

[NicPaus]

They have never been hungry and broke. It creates motivation.

 

[2Driver]

If they have a decent foundation, and as long as parents don’t come to the rescue, eventually a life event will occur and they will come to the realization that living in the moment is actually more painful than working hard towards a goal.

It could also be that we are the offspring from a hard working generation that “did without” unless it was earned and they demanded us to do the same. As much as parents like to give examples of their tough love, our Gen just provided too much for our kids …..out of good intent.

 

[JayBreww]

I’m 30, glad I bought my house 5 years ago.
It’s gone up 30% and it’ll be used as a rental when we buy again here in the next 5 years.
Very few of the people I went to high-school with own homes or have even moved out.

 

[JLG614]

This is an interesting topic. I'm 29, Married for 6 years, 2 kids and a house. We were fortunate to have help with our start but that has never stopped us from pushing as hard as we can. I've been in construction for 11 years and never stopped pushing to move up. My wife was an RN and worked a ton when we first got married. She is now a stay at home mom because that is what we both wanted. I work 6-7 days a week, 5 days a week for a company and 1-2 days a week for my side business. We push as hard as we can and my wife is always on board for me to do whatever it takes to make more money so we can have the life we want. I still do everything possible to have as much family time as I can but I will rarely pass up an opportunity to make more money. We both know what we want in life and will continue to push to get it. We don't have tons of friends and thats probably because we really only hang out with people that are like minded. All of our friends have or are having kids and work just like we do. I do know people that just do enough to get by and are out partying all the time. I just can't understand that lifestyle. I can't figure out if its how people are raised or social media plays a part of it. I do think some people my age just do get very discouraged because of social media and the insane prices of everything. I honestly worry about my kids now and how they will ever be able to afford a house but thats also already in part of my wife and I's plan for them

 

[attitude]

A lot of these posts have described what’s going on really well. The cost of living is too high and kids are giving up the hope of buying a new house and starting a family. Even my dad who is the biggest millennial hater there is gets depressed when I break down my cost of living, the rent on my 4 bedroom house in Corona is double the mortgage of his 4 bedroom house in OC.

To put things into perspective, my dad’s mortgage payment, payment on his 2019 27 speedster, and Islander spot rental is equal to just my rent…

Don’t get me wrong, there are still young people making it in life, but the one common denominator is a baby forced their hand, same with me at 23. Out of all my buddies only one of them moved out before having a kid.

 

[Singleton]

Are these 20 somethings the children we all protected & coddled as we reared them? Are we the cause?

My wife and I have that conversation often.

The 29yo lives in Denver and is a maintenance supervisor for a large apartment complex. He has been on his own since he graduated from college, but it took him a few years to figure out what he wanted to do and learn he is good at fixing things.

The 22yo is another story. Decided college was not for him after 3 years and moved back home. He works enough to pay us rent, but has no motivation to live on his own. We are giving him 2 years then kicking him out (until my wife changes her mind on that). He is 15 months into that 2 years.

Wife and I talk often on what we need to do differently so we don’t have a repeat with our daughter.

Encouraging the 22yo to attend college straight from high school was something we should have never done. He was not mentally ready for it.

 

[Willie B]

… Welcome to the 60s… And somewhat of the hippie lifestyle… did many of the youth that were living like this go on to become lawyers or professionals in some sort of sense… Yep… traveling from rock festival to rock festival… Living in Volkswagen buses… When it turned to shit for a while, go live with the parents… Or crash on somebody’s couch???…

 

[Nanu/Nanu]

Interesting topic. Im kinda in this camp. I have a nice home and toys to chase the sand all year. But i have no interest in being a slave to my employer. I pay all my bills on 40 hours a week and really that just utilities a mortgage and 1 vehicle payment. If i work overtime its purely to afford something like vacation or a house project.

My depreciation assets are nice but not one of them is the latest and greatest for that reason... they depreciate.

Some people may call it lazy but id rather make memories at home then at work.

Maybe that will offer some insight.
Also for what its worth im 38

 

[hallett21]

I’ll add more but have to start with home prices lol.

My parents second house. They assumed my grandmas loan on their first house.

They paid 200k in 89 and sold for 230k in 97. House sold for 850k in 2018. So way before the Covid madness.

Inflation factored in 200k in 89 is about 500k today.

I should add that my dad built the garage to hold the vector and build a non permitted basement for his office between 89 and 91.

223 N Canyon Blvd, Monrovia, CA 91016 - 4 beds/2.5 baths

(CRMLS) 4 beds, 2.5 baths, 1905 sq. ft. house located at 223 N Canyon Blvd, Monrovia, CA 91016 sold for $850,000 on Sep 20, 2018. MLS# AR18182990. Charming single story home located north of Foothill Blvd....

www.redfin.com

1989 mortgage idea at 200k

 

[Tremor Therapy]

I think that as well as many grew up in broken homes or with false promises.

If you go to college you will rule the world and get a 100k a year job easy. (Tons and tons of BS degrees that barely get you a job at starbucks)

Parents busted ass and sacrificed family time for 20 years and then get laid off and divorced at 55 and live an unhappy life.

Home prices

shit employers

Countless reasons really

Yup...got some friends that are right there, and I almost ended up there. Kids lived through it with me and my wife, and their perspective is just different. Son graduated college and is working his way up the chain in a real good company. Starting pay is in the $50's, but the path goes quickly. 2-5 years he will be in the $75-$100k range. But he tried to move out--1 bd apartment, $1800, truck payment and insurance, $650, gas, food, and bills around $1000. He tried, but he doesn't even bring home $3500 per month. I didn't even mention his $400 per month on student loans. How the hell do we expect them to make it?

 

[FROGMAN524]

 

[mesquito_creek]

Maybe kids see their Gen X parents work long hours for corporations that don’t give two shits about them. They see Gen X overweight on blood pressure meds and statins drinking cases of beer at the river complaining about “the other political party” year after year etc…

They decide if that’s path to happiness we are going to try another path.

Please see the sarcasm and self reflection in the comments above.

My oldest is 30 and works for a Fortune 500 company making 6 figures but lives in a class A motor home traveling the states working remotely.

Youngest is 23 and a full time professional musician working in studio recording, live performance logistics and performance in several bands. Supports herself fully but lives frugality.

Both are successful in their own right and we are proud of them as long as they aren’t asking for money!! Lol

 

[FROGMAN524]

Wife and I were shopping for furniture the other day and our sales girl, between 21-24 years of age, was making comments about how she's so happy she doesn't own a house because she can just call the maintenance number and they'll come fix whatever. I said yeah, just wait until you get your lease renewal notice and they double your rent and you're homeless because you can't afford it and don't have a fixed rate for 30 like I do. I also said, consider buying right, and selling in a few years for a double what you paid like we did, you don't get that with renting. She wasn't amused.

This generation and last, Z and millennial, are all about experiences on other people's boats, not owning their own boats and so on and so forth. It's just easier to give up in your twenties today than bust your ass like we did and get to where many of us have gotten. I think what they're missing is, if you work hard now, you don't have to work hard later, usually. Hard lessons will be learned sooner than later for these kids.

 

[DWC]

View attachment 1277258

Or
Small boat
Big boat
Toon.

 

[Cdog]

I'll just leave this here.

Seeking instant gratification = low emotional intelligence and lower IQ in most cases. These seem to be the same kids that didnt want to get their drivers license at 16 and grow up. I think most of what we're talking about here in this thread is the affect side of a flawed spoiled upbringing. I had a bit of an argument with our daughter over her having to pay for her car insurance next month when she gets her license. "Her friends dont have to pay that". My response is tough shit. Do your friends parents want to pay yours? I had to remind her that this is for her and she has to prioritize what she needs to spend her money on. Never hear her complain about a $60 shirt.. Tough love = best love. In fact the parents just giving in to their kids demands are the example the kids are following. So many want to be the cool parents they taint their kids reality.

Delayed gratification - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[OCMerrill]

This is perhaps one of the best threads on RDP in a while.

Round your 20 somethings up and let them read this. They wont apricate it much but something will stick.

All my opinions and hard fought drama over my 56 years is nearly all in here already.

The smart phone and social media share a big part of their upbringing and their thought process.

 

[Motoxxxloak]

My wife is in real estate. The number of people that she sells houses to that are getting their (at minimum) down payments covered by their parents is insane to me. I just turned 33, we bought our house when I was 31 and we did it all on our own. Not easy to do with the market being was it was in 2022. We take pride in that. Her sisters, our friends, everyone seems to be waiting (and getting) that handout from their parents. I have a 32 year old friend, said his dad was giving him $200k towards a house and he was buying in December. Well, dad is not giving it any longer due to his new business venture and now my buddy is just content on living in an apartment and not working towards it himself.

My kids are the same way. My oldest just turned 15. I made her a deal over a year ago....Whatever you save for a car, I'll match. She has this entitlement that we are going to give her my wife's BMW (ha, yeah right - insurance would be a nightmare). Her mom is now playing into it as well so she basically blew the money she had saved and now has nothing.

There does not seem to be any rhyme or reason these days. The sense of entitlement and lazy people just amazes me. Everything wants to work less for more pay and the concept of that just does not make sense. I'm worried to see where we are at in the next 5-10 years.

 

[eand28]

Yup...got some friends that are right there, and I almost ended up there. Kids lived through it with me and my wife, and their perspective is just different. Son graduated college and is working his way up the chain in a real good company. Starting pay is in the $50's, but the path goes quickly. 2-5 years he will be in the $75-$100k range. But he tried to move out--1 bd apartment, $1800, truck payment and insurance, $650, gas, food, and bills around $1000. He tried, but he doesn't even bring home $3500 per month. I didn't even mention his $400 per month on student loans. How the hell do we expect them to make it?

This is how it is in most areas. Hard to move out even if you make 60-80k and don’t have a car payment

 

[Cdog]

Wife and I were shopping for furniture the other day and our sales girl, between 21-24 years of age, was making comments about how she's so happy she doesn't own a house because she can just call the maintenance number and they'll come fix whatever. I said yeah, just wait until you get your lease renewal notice and they double your rent and you're homeless because you can't afford it and don't have a fixed rate for 30 like I do. I also said, consider buying right, and selling in a few years for a double what you paid like we did, you don't get that with renting. She wasn't amused.

This generation and last, Z and millennial, are all about experiences on other people's boats, not owning their own boats and so on and so forth. It's just easier to give up in your twenties today than bust your ass like we did and get to where many of us have gotten. I think what they're missing is, if you work hard now, you don't have to work hard later, usually. Hard lessons will be learned sooner than later for these kids.

There are exceptions but I worry about what the future holds. When there are so many of the forever 21 crowd and they age out to 40 and still dont want to take responsibility for their fuck ups. They're going to vote to take from others and push us further into balkanization.

Just look at the boomer/millennial shit online. It's vicious.

 

[Melloyellovector]

20 something’s aren’t having kids, like gen x and previous generations. Sure there are exceptions, peeps that have drive and want all the power and money. But not the norm for any generation.
My adult kids, friends, and family, 20 something’s didn’t find the drive until children came into the picture.
I’m a gen x, I was a compete shit show until early 20s. Introduce baby in the picture, man the fuck up came out real quick and never stopped.
Same purchased 1st home by 25, Boat, truck, cars, bikes etc.

My adult kids say it’s not the same, we can’t ………
‘You know who else said that, every generation before Including myself. If you want …… then figure out what you need to do to get there and start. 3 adult kids have figured it out, 4th is getting there, 1 more year left csusb
When I purchased my first home for nearly 200k in 98 at i think it was 8%, I was terrified. Compared to my parents that paid 60k for a newer home in the same city in the 80s.
They’ll figure it out eventually, or they won’t. Lol

 

[BingerFang]

“You will own nothing and be happy.”
- World Economic Forum

Fuck that, I’m living the American Dream.

I’m 30 and work my ass off, driving around Southern California (currently driving in South Bay) closing deals to make my $4,100 house payment, while maxing out my retirement accounts and having some extra money for fun on the weekends. I’ve owned a boat since I was 18, only debt is my mortgage, and I just got married 2 weeks ago and can’t wait to have kids.

My liberal friends and colleagues aren’t getting married, aren’t having kids, and don’t care to own a house. They literally just want to party forever.

My Republican friends are literally the complete opposite.

Correlation does not equal causation but I find it interesting.

 

[79 HUSTLER]

I'll just leave this here.

Seeking instant gratification = low emotional intelligence and lower IQ in most cases. These seem to be the same kids that didnt want to get their drivers license at 16 and grow up. I think most of what we're talking about here in this thread is the affect side of a flawed spoiled upbringing. I had a bit of an argument with our daughter over her having to pay for her car insurance next month when she gets her license. "Her friends dont have to pay that". My response is tough shit. Do your friends parents want to pay yours? I had to remind her that this is for her and she has to prioritize what she needs to spend her money on. Never hear her complain about a $60 shirt.. Tough love = best love. In fact the parents just giving in to their kids demands are the example the kids are following. So many want to be the cool parents they taint their kids reality.

Delayed gratification - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Didn’t you post up about you buying her a BMW?

 

[Cdog]

Didn’t you post up about you buying her a BMW?

Yeah for $3,500 from my sister. She also has had a job making $17 an hour since January. Just turned 16 on 8/31. We're in an adjustment period no doubt but I'm not giving in

 

[79 HUSTLER]

Yeah for $3,500 from my sister. She also has had a job making $17 an hour since January. Just turned 16 on 8/31. We're in an adjustment period no doubt but I'm not giving in

Understandable!! Our only child just went off to a University. Talk about an adjustment.

 

[Hammer]

This is an interesting topic. I'm 29, Married for 6 years, 2 kids and a house. We were fortunate to have help with our start but that has never stopped us from pushing as hard as we can. I've been in construction for 11 years and never stopped pushing to move up. My wife was an RN and worked a ton when we first got married. She is now a stay at home mom because that is what we both wanted. I work 6-7 days a week, 5 days a week for a company and 1-2 days a week for my side business. We push as hard as we can and my wife is always on board for me to do whatever it takes to make more money so we can have the life we want. I still do everything possible to have as much family time as I can but I will rarely pass up an opportunity to make more money. We both know what we want in life and will continue to push to get it. We don't have tons of friends and thats probably because we really only hang out with people that are like minded. All of our friends have or are having kids and work just like we do. I do know people that just do enough to get by and are out partying all the time. I just can't understand that lifestyle. I can't figure out if its how people are raised or social media plays a part of it. I do think some people my age just do get very discouraged because of social media and the insane prices of everything. I honestly worry about my kids now and how they will ever be able to afford a house but thats also already in part of my wife and I's plan for them.

A lot to unravel with OP's topic.....

I'm going to speak to this because that was me from 20-30(for context it was between 2000-2010) and it dawned on me around 18-20 that I was going be selfish and live life how I wanted with nothing tying me down until I was done being irresponsible(I made some DUMB decisions during this time). I crashed on couches, floors in between renting rooms with buddies and was just kind of living life on the fly... This is where my screenname/nickname originated from (roughly2002? ). If I met the woman of my dreams during that time cool, but I'd cut ties if it held me back from living life until about 30. However, I had moments of second guessing my choices from '05-'10 when most of my close friends (the other half of my friends were like me, partying not necessarily with a plan though) starting buying houses, settling down getting their careers going and planning for the future. A lot of them thought like you did about me, thought I was living the wrong way, it just wasn't their way of life. We were just different at that time period. I was a procrastinator, still am.. lol

One of the common denominators with those friends where that they came from a structured home life and most of their parents were still married. They saw what a successful family/household should look like and modeled their young life the same, their parents got married young, bought a house and started a family by 25 so they were going to do the same. I admired their parents and I wanted that for myself too one day. What some of them didn't know was that marriage, kids a mortgage and that lifestyle is HARD. Some of them became divorced, single parents or lost everything when the housing market crashed. Meanwhile, I didn't own anything, had nothing to lose and had no worries in the world. I also had friends on the other side of the coin growing up in broken households, struggling to get by hung out with bikers gangs etc... That was "normal" life to them. They didn't know any better. I was lucky to experience both family types growing up and knew what I wanted by the time I hit 20 or so, it took me longer than expected, but I got there.

If I didn't have all the selfish adventures and partying out of my system when the time came to "settle down", I'd live with resentment and eventually be a disgruntled husband and father wishing I was somewhere else in life(I'm sure most of us know this type of person, I know I do..). Turns out.... Everything happened the way I always wanted and I couldn't be more happy/content with my life right now. I have the house, career, toys and the family life that I always dreamed of. I just took my own path and had to catch up on setting up retirement goals, at the same time, tomorrow isn't guaranteed so as Wooderson famously said.... "Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

Social media and technology definitely plays a part in your generations lifestyle choices. Why have a boat when I can get the joy and excitement by watching someone else do it on TicToK, Insta, YouTube etc..... or RDP!

 

[SBMech]

As a Gen X'r myself, my family has been troubled (like many others my age) by inheritance theft, divorce, physical and sexual abuse (both child and adult) as I grew up.

I grew up fast, needed to take care of my sister, after mother and father bailed to live their own lives when we were teens. After my sister found someone to love and take care of her I was finally free to do what I wanted, financially and physically. So I did.

I took several years off my career as a mechanic to ride snowboards, run a skate park, surfed from Rincon to Todos Santos. I travelled around on various road trips, hitting 40 states or so, America is AMAZING....highly recommend the states tour, some of my fondest memories. I also LOVE road tripping...but that's another story.

Coming back to reality so to speak, I worked in high end shops in Santa Barbara, driving European and Exotic vehicles daily both for testing and diagnosis purposes.

I guess that's why I never really felt like I was missing much not actually owning a nice car...I drive them all the time. I still tend to work as little as possible lately...I rented a multi-million dollar home for 15 years here until the end of that relationship, now I have no urge to purchase an expensive cage to live in....millions to have a place to sleep in?.....seems like that really.

I've got skill and talents in multiple areas of expertise, I'm not afraid of working for the rest of my life, since I'm broken and used up from having so much fun in my 20's 30's and 40's....besides....one of my mentors as a mechanic watched his friends retire early, a year in the rocking chair and they were toes up....

His words always stuck with me, keep busy living, or get busy dying, your choice!

Since I can make money just about anywhere, and my skills are almost always in demand, I would have to say that I feel no pressure to be ultra successful. Money is not the end all for me. I'm still enjoying the ride....I take time off when I feel like it, I do what I want, when I want for the most part.

It works for me.

I also have no kids.

I see my friends overcompensate for their hard upbringing with their kids, spare the rod, spoil the child is really true. I would think a lot of the 20 somethings issues comes from that.

 

[FROGMAN524]

“You will own nothing and be happy.”
- World Economic Forum

Fuck that, I’m living the American Dream.

I’m 30 and work my ass off, driving around Southern California (currently driving in South Bay) closing deals to make my $4,100 house payment, while maxing out my retirement accounts and having some extra money for fun on the weekends. I’ve owned a boat since I was 18, only debt is my mortgage, and I just got married 2 weeks ago and can’t wait to have kids.

My liberal friends and colleagues aren’t getting married, aren’t having kids, and don’t care to own a house. They literally just want to party forever.

My Republican friends are literally the complete opposite.

Correlation does not equal causation but I find it interesting.

Yes

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7264879869513698565

 

[evantwheeler]

I can’t say it’s good or bad- it’s just different.

When I was 27 I was married with two kids, was on my second home, and almost a decade into my chosen career path. Sixty-hour work weeks followed by boat and hot rod projects and planning the next house upgrade seemed normal.

I have two kids in their twenties, college educated with all the opportunities to succeed or excel in a familiar path. Both are single, rent rooms with friends in their chosen locations, and just kind of live life without pushing for things my generation pushed for. My son enjoys DJ’ing and being a part of the Phoenix stand-up comic world and carries a couple of jobs to cover the bills, with a smile on his face. My daughter likes the Flagstaff vibe and does just enough work to pay rent and go on whatever adventures she feels like going on with friends or by herself. She has no car on purpose because Uber is cheaper and requires her to work less, leaving more time for travel and hobbies. Both take care of themselves and never ask for anything. After a few years of watching this dynamic, it seems pretty normal for an entire generation. We’ve hosted lots of young travelers looking for farm experience. With little to their names and little holding them back- they just seem to be on a long adventure looking for a little slice of happiness. I know there are more driven kids out there who will likely slay the world with little competition, and I honestly identify more with that mindset.

I’m getting better at not wanting more for the kids and even marveling at the simplicity of their choices at times. I know just as many people my age on the path to a more simple life so it leaves me wondering if some of these kids have things figured out better than I did at that age.

Not bashing this generation that goes in either direction, just thought it might make for an interesting conversation.

My youngest brother at 30 is this way. 4 years in college, science degree, now rents, works multiple jobs and has no little to no savings. Just spent 2 weeks in Spain. He told me he values his freedom and time more than material possessions. He knows how to work, he certainly isnt lazy. He drives a FedEx truck part time, wild land firefights during the season, and is a handy man for a property manager part time. He doesn't have anything fancy or expensive. He's off the “payroll” of mom and dad except for his phone I believe. Just got a smoking deal on dad’s old Tundra. I hope mom and dad help him get a house and will hold no grudge against him as neither myself or middle brother had any help financially after leaving home.

 

[Cdog]

Understandable!! Our only child just went off to a University. Talk about an adjustment.

They like to push their limits to see what they can get away with. It's just human nature. It's up to us to push back + a little more if they think they have the game figured out.

She's a Jr this year. Straight A's, taking dual enrollment classes for ASU so should only have 3.5 years of ASU on an academic state scholarship. She'll be living at home too.

I'm pleased to see the more we push her the more she sees she can accomplish. She still doesn't know what she wants to study or vocation post education but our conversations start with what kind of lifestyle do you want to live.

 

[C-Ya]

For me…….. I did not give my only daughter a “hand out”. I gave her a ”hand up”.

I did this by covering all expenses until she was firmly on her own 2 feet. At 31, she owns her own home, and has a stellar high paying job.

I don’t feel bad for anything! Lol

 

[Cdog]

As a Gen X'r myself, my family has been troubled (like many others my age) by inheritance theft, divorce, physical and sexual abuse (both child and adult) as I grew up.

I grew up fast, needed to take care of my sister, after mother and father bailed to live their own lives when we were teens. After my sister found someone to love and take care of her I was finally free to do what I wanted, financially and physically. So I did.

I took several years off my career as a mechanic to ride snowboards, run a skate park, surfed from Rincon to Todos Santos. I travelled around on various road trips, hitting 40 states or so, America is AMAZING....highly recommend the states tour, some of my fondest memories. I also LOVE road tripping...but that's another story.

Coming back to reality so to speak, I worked in high end shops in Santa Barbara, driving European and Exotic vehicles daily both for testing and diagnosis purposes.

I guess that's why I never really felt like I was missing much not actually owning a nice car...I drive them all the time. I still tend to work as little as possible lately...I rented a multi-million dollar home for 15 years here until the end of that relationship, now I have no urge to purchase an expensive cage to live in....millions to have a place to sleep in?.....seems like that really.

I've got skill and talents in multiple areas of expertise, I'm not afraid of working for the rest of my life, since I'm broken and used up from having so much fun in my 20's 30's and 40's....besides....one of my mentors as a mechanic watched his friends retire early, a year in the rocking chair and they were toes up....

His words always stuck with me, keep busy living, or get busy dying, your choice!

Since I can make money just about anywhere, and my skills are almost always in demand, I would have to say that I feel no pressure to be ultra successful. Money is not the end all for me. I'm still enjoying the ride....I take time off when I feel like it, I do what I want, when I want for the most part.

It works for me.

It works for you because you have skills and experience to fall back on. The majority we're talking about want the fuck off time but don't have any experience or skills to fall back on. IE: social influencer